Disclaimer: If you still can't comprehend the fact that I don't own Hayate no Gotoku or any of its characters, you're a tard muffin.
So I actually started writing a few days after the last chapter was finished…not common for me.
And after starting a few days later, I managed to go like 2 months without updating, woot.
Sorry for the wait, but I sure hope it was well worth it…this is one of the longest chapters I've ever written…so far it's at over 4.4k (4,656 to be precise) words, including the reference descriptions. I think a lot happened this chapter and hope you enjoy it
T R I A L S
And
T R I B U L A T I O N S
Chapter 4: Of Battles and of Breasts
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"Ojou-sama…" Hayate ran as fast he could paying no heed to the shivers running up and down his spine. He only had one focus. "Ojou-sama…" He grit his teeth angrily.
"As long as I'm around you won't have to worry about a thing. No one will hurt you." The words he said earlier entered his head. "Damnit…how could I be so arrogant?!" He jumped over the wall that surrounded the Sanzenin estate. "No, no. Beat yourself up later Hayate… Saving Ojou-sama comes first." He pressed his back against a tree and peered towards the mansion entrance. He noted six armed guards standing attentively a few feet from the door. "Okay…what should I do…?"
While Hayate was formulating his plan, Nagi and Maria were holed up in Nagi's manga studio behind some bookcases.
"Oi…Maria…" Nagi said in a depressed manner. "Where's Hayate…?"
"I'm sure he's running as fast as he can to get here Nagi." Maria said with a smile, "There's no way Hayate-kun would ignore us when we're in trouble."
"Y-you're right…" Nagi sighed, "I just wish he would hurry up and get here…" a loud banging came at the door.
"I think I heard voices in this one!" they heard a loud smash as the door was broken down.
"Oh no…" Maria whispered.
"Come on!" They heard loud noises as the room was ransacked. Maria held onto Nagi tightly as they sat behind the bookcase.
"Maria…" Nagi squeezed Maria tightly.
"Hey, I have infrared goggles!" One of the men yelled suddenly.
"Why didn't you just say that in the first place you idiot!?" another yelled.
"Sorry, I'm not feelin too hot today." He started to laugh, "Get it? Hot? Infrared? I crack me up." A loud THWACK was heard as another smacked him over the head. "Oww!! What was that for?"
"Idiot! What is that?!" another yelled.
"Nice Tsukkomi (1)!!" Sakuya yelled happily as she jumped off a nearby chandelier. The men all stared blankly at her and she stared blankly back at them. "Oh." She said flatly. "I don't want to be here right now, do I?" She clapped twice, "Makita, Kunieda, get me out of here." Two men in sunglasses and navy blue suits appeared from nowhere.
"Yes, Ojou-sama." They swiftly disappeared.
"…" There was a short awkward silence among the men.
"Anyways…back to suspense." One of them men said.
"Right, suspense." The rest chimed in.
"Okay…" another said with a sigh. "Get those damn goggles on!"
"Wait!" Maria called out from behind the bookcase. "There's no point in hiding if you have infrared goggles, I'm coming out."
"M-Maria!" Nagi whispered. The maid just smiled at her and stepped out from behind the bookcase.
"Bah, it's the maid…" One sighed.
"Though, it's really a shame…" another sighed, "She's so pretty, but we have to kill everyone except the little girl…"
"K-kill…" Maria stuttered. "If I had known that I was going to die today…I would have eaten that ice cream in the freezer…" She thought her petty last regrets to herself. "I never even had a boyfriend…" she sighed out loud.
"Though…" One chuckled, "If you tell us where your master is, I suppose I could let you go. Hell I'd even be your boyfriend. There, that solves both of our problems."
"I'm sorry, but I can't betray Nagi-Ojou-sama like that." Maria said with a smile, then added, "And you're not my type."
"Well then, sorry Ojou-chan," one of the men, seemingly the leader, said sarcastically as he took out his pistol. "But it looks like this is your end." He pointed the gun at Maria's forehead.
"I suppose so…" Maria said with resolve. She closed her eyes and awaited the metal slug to be planted between her eyes.
Nagi cowered behind the bookcase crying. She didn't want to lose Maria. Maria was one of the most important people in her life. She was a mother, a sister, and a friend. "Maria…" Nagi thought to herself between sobs. "Maria…I don't…" Nagi's brow furrowed. "…want to lose you…" She wiped away her tears, "I'm powerless to help her…but…" she stood up.
Maria trembled in fear. She was scared to the point of wetting herself. She didn't want to die. There were so many things that she hadn't done yet. Eventually she wanted to get married and have a family. "I can't die here…" There were still many people counting on her. "Nagi still needs me…" She clenched her fist. "I want to see her become a fine woman…" She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "Am … really going to die…?" She took a deep breath. "No." She thought with resolve. "I won't die here." She was silent for a moment. "But what can I do…? I can't do anything against these trained soldiers…but…"
"I know someone who can!" The two girls thought in unison. Together they took a deep breath and yelled at the top of their lungs,
"HAYATE!!"
"HAYATE-KUN!!"
The large window in the room suddenly exploded and shards of glass rained from above. In the confusion caused by the window's demise, a figure positioned itself between Maria and the gunman. His long blue hair flowed in the breeze and the falling shards of glass shimmered around him making it look really, really cool.
"I'm back, Ojou-sama, Maria-san." Hayate said with a smile. "I'm sorry for taking so long."
"Welcome home…Hayate-kun…" Maria said with tears of joy. Hayate smiled and wiped her tears away.
"Everything's fine now. I'm here."
"Hey, hey, hey!" one of the men griped angrily. "There are a dozen trained and armed soldiers pointing guns at you! Shouldn't you be at least a LITTLE unnerved?"
"True Hayate-kun," Maria stated flatly. " You DID defeat a mech by yourself, but you had a gun…this time you're completely unarmed."
"Oh that's not a problem Maria-san." Hayate said with his innocent smile, "When I was 10 my father used to make me sneak into military installations and steal their weaponry." He continued to reminisce. "He told me that since we couldn't afford a Playst-tion, I would have to pretend to be a member of F-xhound (2) in real life." Hayate chuckled. "I got caught a few times, so I had to fight my way out. So I've got experience fighting off trained professional gunmen and can do it fairly easily now." He noticed Maria's awkward look. "Ahhh," Hayate stammered, "Don't worry Maria-san, I never killed anyone!" Hayate shook his hands violently, "I only incapacitated them!
"…That's not the issue here Hayate-kun…" Maria finally said, "At ten years old you were able to sneak into military bases and steal weapons? Not only that, but you managed to escape after being caught by their soldiers AND incapacitate them?"
"Yes?" Hayate asked in a confused manner, "Why…?"
"No…nothing…" She said with a sigh,
"Though, in real life the alert timer (3) on a military base is much longer than in the game. I've been stuck on bases for three or more days before I could escape."
"As usual you're amazing Hayate…" Maria sighed.
"Haha…" Hayate flushed, "in any case, I have to take care of these guys." He said, turning to face the men, smiled, cracked his knuckles, and said, "Let's do this." Approximately eight seconds later, the men were on the floor unconscious. "Hmph, they talked all big…but they were really weak…" Hayate sighed.
"Did you ever stop to think that you're just really strong, Hayate?" Maria asked as a sweat drop rolled down her head. Hayate was about to respond but a familiar girl stepped out from behind the bookcase.
"Ah!" Hayate exclaimed, "Ojou-sama!" The blonde-pig-tail-having girl walked up to Hayate with her head down and grabbed his uniform. "O-Ojou-sama?"
"W-What took you s-so long?" Nagi said trying to sound tough, but was clearly holding back her tears. "I-If you do that again…I…I'll…" She broke down into tears.
"Ojou-sama…" Hayate embraced the girl. "I'm very sorry Ojou-sama…Next time…I'll be here…"
"Ho ho ho ho ho." An obnoxiously high pitched voice rang out. "What a touching scene…"
"Who's there?!" Hayate sprang up, clenching his fists for another battle. "Show yourself!"
"Ho ho ho ho ho," The obnoxious voice rang out again. "It is none other than me…" A figure jumped down from the ceiling, revealing itself to be a scantily clad, buxom red-head. She had green eyes that seemed to pierce into one's very existence. Tight leather straps ran all over her body, revealing as much…flesh…as possible. "…Milfoille-sama!" (Author's Note: I don't know where the name came from, but it's pronounced Millfoil) She pulled a whip from nowhere and snapped it on the ground. Noting Hayate, Maria, and Nagi's expressions of pure confusion and horror, she added, "I see my inspiring presence has awed you into a stupor!"
"No…I was actually wondering how your…umm…'outfit' manages to stay in the exact perfect spot…" Hayate said, commenting on Milfoille's attire.
"The combined willpower of Nagi Ojou-sama and myself…" Maria whispered to Hayate, as both she and Nagi were feeling remotely insecure about their own… 'pectoral extremities' (or lack thereof) after seeing Milfoille's massive mammaries.
"Actually, the only reason they're still in place is that this fanfiction is only rated Teen, so there can be no nipz, lipz, or anything of that sort!" She added, "If it was up to me, I'd have shown up stark naked." She sighed.
"I believe it…" Hayate said, shielding his eyes. "And I suppose you're here for Ojou-sama as well?"
"Ho ho ho." The buxom redhead laughed again, "Right you are butler boy." She spread out her arms and proclaimed, "Our glorious organization wants nothing more than to destroy the Sanzenin family and their estate, and for some reason, to do that we need to kidnap her!"
"What?!" Hayate and Nagi yelled just barely out of sync.
"Ho ho ho." Milfoille laughed again. "Now, it's time to destroy you!" She threw her hands forwards and giant thorny vines burst from the floor at Nagi. "COME WITH ME YOU LITTLE BITCH!!"
"HAYATE!!" Nagi screamed in desperation as the enormous vines flew towards her fragile little girl body, intending to grab her. Hayate suddenly appeared next to Nagi and jumped away in the nick of time.
"Don't worry about a thing, Ojou-sama." Hayate smiled. "I'll take care of this weed." Hayate placed Nagi down on the ground. "As you know, I am a Sanzenin butler, Nagi Ojou-sama's butler. If you wish to take her away, my life must be ended."
"Ho ho." Milfoille chuckled, "You're saying you want me to kill you first before I can take your precious little Ojou-sama?"
"If you can kill me, then by all means go ahead." Hayate taunted. "But I'm stronger than I look."
"You'd have to be." Milfoille taunted, "You look like a schoolgirl." Hayate sweatdropped while Nagi and Maria had no choice other than to agree. "Well then…let's see how tough you truly are!" Milfoille summoned more vines and sent them after Hayate.
"Tornado PUNCH!!" Hayate yelled as he threw his fist into the oncoming vines. The force of Hayate's blow tore the vines apart. "How was that?" Hayate asked confidently.
"Not bad…" Milfoille admitted, "but unfortunately, your attack can only go in one direction!" She yelled as more vines appeared all around the butler. "OHHHHH HO HO HO HO !!" She squawked loudly. "How is it, Hayate-kun?" Hayate remained stoic. "If you've nothing to say, then die!" The vines rushed together to skewer Hayate. A split second before they could do so, Hayate leapt into the air.
"TORNADO…PUNCH!!" He yelled as he hurtled towards Milfoille, who smirked and flipped her wrist, shortly after which, Hayate found a whip around his stomach. "WH--!? He started to yell as he plummeted to the ground.
"Ho ho ho," Milfoille snickered malevolently. "You can't beat me with direct attacks!"
"Oooiii." Nagi said flatly. "Fighting is all well and good, but how do you expect to pay for the damages to my house?"
"Eh?" Milfoille looked around. Sure enough, there were massive holes, cracks, and weeds all over Nagi's 'Manga studio'. "Uhh…"
"Listen," Nagi sighed, "As strong as you are, lawyers are stronger." She pointed at Milfoille in a Pho-nix Wr-ght-esque manner, "I'll get M-les Edgew-rth (4) to prosecute you!" There was a short, awkward silence. Milfoille was contemplating whether or not she should continue fighting. That is, until Nagi added, "So if you're going to fight, do it outside!" Milfoille smiled at this.
"Why thank you, Nagi Ojou-sama." Milfoille grinned. "I hope you realize that while I'm outside, my powers DOUBLE!" Milfoille tossed Hayate out the window, down into the yard and followed after him.
"Nagi…" Maria said in a low tone, "Why did you do that…? Hayate was faring poorly enough as it was…and it's fairly obvious that someone who uses plants to attack would be stronger outside…"
"Hayate won't lose." Nagi said confidently. Then, with a blush she added, "Because…he's fighting for my sake…"
"Oh great…" Maria sighed inwardly, "She's in 'Innocent Pubescent Girl' mode…"
"Hmph," Milfoille scoffed at Hayate's tattered form. "It seems like your Ojou-sama's faith in your abilities is unfounded. Or do you WANT her to get kidnapped?"
"It is not my desire for any harm to befall my Ojou-sama." Hayate proclaimed sternly. "Now, since I have the room to perform it, I'd like to introduce you to my most powerful technique!" He readied himself.
"Ho ho ho," Milfoille laughed, "Bring it on schoolgirl!"
"HAAAAAAAA!!" Hayate's fighting aura swirled around him and he prepared to charge. "Hayate no Gotoku!!"(5) Hayate rocketed towards Milfoille with blinding speed.
"What th--?!" Milfoille started to yell. Hayate's blow was just about to connect, and judging from its trajectory, Hayate figured that it would connect with one of Milfoille's black leather straps that comprised her 'outfit'. It would reduce the damage taken by a little, but that wouldn't matter, it would still do massive amounts of damage.
Milfoille also noticed the trajectory of Hayate's attack. Her eyes widened as he screamed towards her. He was but a few inches from striking her. At the very last second she contorted her body, causing Hayate to miss the leather binding. She took the attack full on in the stomach. She rocketed to the ground as Hayate skidded to a stop.
"Good thing I worked on the landing…" Hayate said, remembering how last time he used it he nearly broke every bone in his body. He turned to Milfoille, he was coughing on the ground. "Why did you move?" He inquired, "The strap would have absorbed some of the blow.
"I thought I could dodge it." She said, "But you were too fast."
"That's a lie…" Hayate thought to himself, "I'll just have to test this…it seems like she was protecting the outfit…" Hayate then remembered Milfoille's comment about wanting to show up stark naked. "Then…maybe she wasn't lying…" He thought to himself. "Though, what do I have to lose by testing it?" Hayate sighed. Milfoille had stood back up while he was deliberating.
"I'll get you…" She panted, "For harming my beautiful body…" She sent some vines after him which he dove through with great speed towards the red head.
"Tornado…PUNCH!!" Hayate threw a punch at one of the straps on her stomach, once again she dodged to not let it get hit. "I get it." Hayate said with a smile.
"Get what…?" She asked quietly.
"The source of your power." He smirked, "It's that bondage suit of yours. That's why you won't let me hit it."
"N-NO!" She yelled, very loudly, "It's not! I just like the style!"
"But you said that you'd rather have shown up stark naked," Hayate pointed out, "That statement, being the truth shows me that you'd both rather not be wearing it AND that you want to draw peoples' attention away from its importance."
"Y-You…" Milfoille cursed under her breath. "Well…well…" She got an idea. "You CAN'T do anything to my outfit!" She yelled triumphantly. "If you break it, I'll be naked! And since this Fanfiction is rated TEEN you can't do that!"
"I never planned to leave you naked." Hayate smiled as he pulled out a frilly dress from nowhere." "I'm going to use a technique that Klaus-san showed to me, combined with my Hayate no Gotoku to get through your defenses." He focused his fighting aura once more.
Meanwhile in Nagi's 'Manga studio', the little girl and the maid didn't seem very concerned about the outcome of the battle.
"Oi, Maria…" Nagi asked from the window above as she viewed the battle. "Why is Hayate holding a dress…and where did he get it?"
"Who knows…" Maria muttered, "He probably found it in his closet after one of Nagi and my attempts to make him wear it…" she thought to herself.
"I mean he just pulled it from nowhere." The blonde girl scratched her head, "I mean…it's like an anime with hammer space…does that mean Hayate has 'dress space' that allows him to pull frilly dresses from nowhere?" Nagi then got excited, "Then that means we won't have to buy him any new dresses! He can just pull them out of nowhere!" She reasoned.
"I don't think he'll comply with that Nagi…" Maria sighed, though she really hoped he would.
Back down in the yard, the standoff continued.
"What do you plan to do with that frilly little dress?" Milfoille asked, honestly curious. "There's no way you're going to get me to change into that…"
"Of course you won't change into it…" Hayate said with a smile. "I'll change you into it."
"…Excuse me?" Milfoille was stunned as Hayate summoned a blindfold from nowhere and tied it around his head, covering his eyes. His aura grew furiously around him.
"Just watch." Hayate took a deep breath. "This is a technique only a butler can master…" He held the frilly dress out behind him. "ART OF PROPER ATTIRE COMBINED WITH HAYATE NO GOTOKU!!" Hayate burst forward towards Milfoille with an open hand. "OORRRAAHH!!" As he flew past the buxom redhead, a blinding flash lit the area and an explosion soon followed, sending up a cloud of dust. After removing his blindfold, Hayate looked back and smiled. In his hand were the straps that Milfoille had been wearing just a second ago. As the dust settled, it revealed not the buxom young woman that had been fighting Hayate before, but a young girl around Nagi's age.
"Wh-Wh-Wh-What did you do to me?!" Mini Milfoille yelled, kicking and screaming. "Where's my super outfit?!"
"It's right here," Hayate said holding up the scraps of clothing to the girl. "I just changed your clothes so fast you couldn't have reacted," Hayate chuckled, "I guess you could say I 'stripped' you of your powers." The three females in the vicinity felt their jaws drop at the corniness of Hayate's lame joke. After the long, very awkward silence, Maria finally decided to speak.
"I never knew Hayate-kun could do something like that…" she imagined Hayate using it on her…only the second step of it didn't happen, causing her to blush.
"H-HAYATE!" Nagi yelled angrily. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! TAKING A GIRL'S CLOTHES OFF?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!"
"That's what the blindfold is for Ojou-sama." Hayate said with a smile. "And I knew you'd get mad at me this time…but I had to do it. If it's to protect Ojou-sama, I don't care how mad she gets at me if it means she's safe."
"H-Hayate-kun…" Blush spread across the girl's face. "I-In any case..." Nagi said climbing down the side of her crumbled wall, "You, little girl,"
"W-What?" Milfoille asked timidly. "How else can you humiliate me?"
"Why'd you do this?"
"YOU KNOW WHY!!"
"I do…?" Nagi asked, confused.
"You do?" Hayate responded, equally confused, but more curious.
"Yes you do!" Milfoille stood up and pouted, "You opened up a super expensive big bakery in front of my daddy's bakery! You can't forget about your opening of Pant-sia (6) can you?!"
"Oh. That." Nagi sighed. "Yeah I got bored and wanted to try running a big-time bakery…it was boring so I sold it off not too long ago."
"You…heartless…"
"Hey, I didn't know your father's bakery was right across the street." Nagi said with a shrug. "If you want money, I'll give you some to compensate for your loss."
"We lost over 200 million yen because of that!" Milfoille yelled angrily, "Do you think you can…" She was cut off as Nagi dropped a suitcase in front of her.
"Don't bother paying it back." Nagi said with a sigh. "Just never let me see your face again."
Maria had managed to descend the wall by this time and had trotted over to Hayate.
"Maria-san," Hayate said with a look of curiosity. "Does she have money space powers?"
"Money space?"
"Yes, like hammer space," Hayate said scratching his chin, "I swear she just pulled that suitcase out of nowhere."
"Well Hayate-kun," Maria retorted, "You pulled a frilly dress out of nowhere. I think that's a little bit more questionable than money." She finished with a smile.
"It's simple Maria-san." Hayate said with a smile, "I'm a butler."
"Right…" Maria sighed.
Meanwhile Nagi had finished saying what she had to say to Milfoille, so she turned around and left the suitcase behind and started to walk away.
"Is..Is this ok…?" Milfoille asked. "Can I just…take it…?"
"Take it," Nagi said without turning around. "It's my apology for ruining your father's livelihood." Milfoille stood up took the suitcase, bowed to Nagi and then to Hayate, and left quietly.
Nagi walked up to Hayate and Maria, she wore an apologetic look. Taking note of that look, Hayate decided to act. He didn't want his precious Ojou-sama to feel bad about what had transpired.
"Well, since everyone's ok why don't we get to fixing up this mess?" He picked up Nagi and put her on his shoulder.
"H-Hayate!?" She exclaimed.
"Tell us what to do Ojou-sama." Hayate said with a smile, "We are your servants, and you are our beloved master who we live to serve, no matter what." Maria smiled and nodded in agreement. "So, what would you have us do, Ojou-sama?"
"Hayate…" Nagi blushed at the sentiment. "O-Okay!" she proclaimed, "Let's get to cleaning!"
T R I A L S
And
T R I B U L A T I O N S
Chapter 4: Of Battles and of Breasts
END
Meanwhile, Klaus was sitting against a wall in his office, holding his bandaged shoulder.
"Heey…" Klaus whined from the depths of his office, "is anyone there? Hello?" He lay face down on the floor, "Maria-san? Ojou-sama? Ayasaki Hayate-kun?" Tears streamed down his face. "Don't forget about me…" (authors note, this is portrayed as humorous, not serious, as Klaus is so full of melodrama that I thought I'd poke fun at it.) "But…I'm dying…"
No you're not
"But…narrator…I was shot…"
In the shoulder, you're a Sanzenin butler, you'll live.
"Grr…" Klaus sighed, "I'll go make myself a manly sandwich…then I'll feel better."
T R I A L S
And
T R I B U L A T I O N S
Chapter 4: Of Battles and of Breasts
End…for real this time.
1) Tsukkomi (つつこみ)- refers to the Manzai (漫才) style of Japanese comedy. Manzai is a style of stand-up comedy in Japan, which usually involves two performers—a straight man (tsukkomi) and a funny man (boke)—trading jokes at great speed. Most of the jokes revolve around mutual misunderstandings, double-talk, puns and other verbal gags. In recent times, manzai has often been associated with the Osaka region, and manzai comedians often speak in the Kansai dialect during their acts.
The context in which I used it: The stupid man (Boke) makes a bad pun so the 'straight man' (Tsukkomi) responds by hitting him. His response, "Idiot! What is that?!" is a common response in Japanese translating to, "Ahou! Nanda sore wa?!" (unsure of spelling) or あほう! なんだそれは,!in hiragana (still unsure of spelling). That's why his response may not have made much sense in English…It's a direct translation.
2) FOXHOUND- An elite Special Forces unit that has appeared in numerous forms thorough the Metal Gear videogame series.
3) Alert Timer- Referring to the alert timer in the Metal Gear series. After detection you must remain unnoticed for a set time. Hayate was commenting on how that time in real life is much longer than it was in the game (1-3 minutes or longer depending on what happened)
4) Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth – Characters from the video game series, Phoenix Wright. In Phoenix Wright, the player takes on the role of Phoenix Wright, who must do various tasks, some, being standard operation for a defense attorney and some having nothing to do with the profession. Except for the first case, the game cycles between two phases: Investigation, and Courtroom Sessions. Investigation phases consist of gathering clues that will be needed to prove a client's innocence, while courtroom phases consist of cross-examining witnesses and presenting evidence.
a)Phoenix Wright (Nick) being the protagonist: The defense attorney, defending a person who is wrongfully accused of murder.
b)Miles Edgeworth is one of the main antagonists, being a prosecutor who will use any means necessary to get a 'guilty verdict', and Phoenix's childhood friend.
5) Hayate no Gotoku – Whimsical Hurricane, Hayate's original super deadly technique. See the end of volume 6. Not to be confused with the name of the show.
6) Pantasia – A large bakery chain store in the anime Yakitake!! Japan.
