TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND SELF HARM
Several days have passed since Stimpy went on his first Tinder date. By that time he matched with over 20 people. He casually texted with some of them and could tell their intentions right away - they simply wanted to meet and have sex. But thinking about the first awkward hook up with Delvin, Stimpy felt like casual sex wasn't enough. He wanted to connect with someone on a deeper level. He wanted to discover his date's personality and their sense of humor through exciting date activities and deep conversations.
And so, one particular guy captured his interest as Stimpy was sure he had seen him before. It was Jerome, a goth guy he saw at the Chuck's housewarming party but never got a chance to talk to. A 27 year old poodle had, at first glance, very odd but very artistic looking bio entry. It read:
"The whispers of death are loud and clear. They are guiding me to end the pain with no fear. With the razor so sharp the blood will smear. The agonizing existence will halt for this queer."
It spoke volumes to Stimpy. His emotional pain conveyed through words and suicidal implications were so relatable, Stimpy was immediately drawn to him. He had to deal with Ren's depressive tendencies for so many years. Truth be told, Stimpy himself was broken inside. Contrary to the popular believe, his over the top happy-go-lucky attitude was just a coping mechanism to disguise his true mixed feelings of deprived love and loneliness. He would never admit it to anyone, but there had been several occasions where he was at the bring of a breakdown and self harmed. Those were the lowest moments of his life that he suppressed in his mind.
With other matched guys, Stimpy never texted first. But with Jerome, he made an exception.
'Hi, I think I saw you before at the party. I'm Chuck's friend.'
'We all are just dust in the wind. I do remember you though.' - Jerome responded not right away. Stimpy smiled. He was intrigued.
'Who's constantly texting you?' - Ren brought Stimpy back to reality. Stimpy almost jumped out of his seat which made Ren raise an eyebrow. Trying to appear as calm and collected as possible and not give away nervousness in his voice, Stimpy breathed in and said:
'Lola.' He hoped Ren would not ask anymore questions.
'Oh really? But isn't it still her working hours?' - Ren asked trying to make sense of it.
'Yeah, but she's not very busy at the moment. Waiting for her next client who's late.' - he lied.
Something seemed off and Ren could sense it… Stimpy was acting weird lately. He seemed… distant. For the past few days after coming back from work, Ren noticed that Stimpy is less excited to see him. Hardly initiates conversation. Always on that damn phone. And those messaging sounds - every 10 seconds. It drove him crazy - almost wanted to throw the damn thing out of the window. But is it really Lola who texts him so much? Sure, they're friends but they never seemed THAT close. And why the heck he needs security code to unlock it - the thought first came when he once picked up his phone while Stimpy was in the bathroom. That seemed odd. But he did not questioned Stimpy directly - after all the eediot would never have secrets from him… right?
Stimpy put the phone aside after muting it - Jerome will have to wait.
'Would you like some more mashed potatoes, Renny?' - he asked after picking up his plate.
'Sure.' - Ren smiled weakly. Normally, he would get super annoyed by Stimpy's pet name calling, but it was this kind of ordinariness that he missed. Maybe he's reading into things for no reason.
Fast forward few hours later, Stimpy was in bed awake, Ren snoring beside him. Thank goodness for the medicine Ren's taking - insomnia symptoms are no longer there. Now he sleeps like a baby through out the night without waking up. And that meant Stimpy could go on dates at night as long as he came back at 4 or 5 am.
He decided to text Jerome and ask if he's free tonight. After unlocking the phone, the last message from Jerome read:
'I was watching you that night, your eyes filled with sorrow, the glass you shattered crumbled into a million pieces embodying your heartbreak. I could see that someone hurt you because I've been hurt too. We are both aggrieved souls lurking in this cruel and ruthless world. Only we can understand each other.'
Stimpy blushed. He was amazed that someone actually noticed him that night and understood him.
'I'm glad we found eachother, do you want to meet in person?' - typed Stimpy anticipating the answer.
'Sure. The moon is magical tonight. She will witness us finally winning back our freedom.
Jerome sent Stimpy his address. Without second thought he got up and went to get ready. After 20 minutes, he was dressed in a beautiful purple dress with heavy makeup to match his outfit. He called a cab and before leaving their home, he leaned in and kissed Ren on a cheek.
It wasn't difficult to find an apartment complex where Jerome lived. It was situated near the center of a town and Stimpy was familiar with the surroundings. The door phone buzzed and Stimpy was let in through the door.
'Hello and welcome, my prince.' - the poodle took Stimpy's hand and pulled him for a kiss. The smell of alcohol was very strong but Stimpy hardly minded. 'Your beauty mesmerizes me. When we face death I'll gaze into your inimitable eyes and I won't feel the pain.'
Stimpy awkwardly laughed. He didn't understand what Jerome was implying but he figured perhaps he's just a little bit drunk or very eccentric. The first impressions of him were fascinating though. He seemed very attractive and interesting: both appearance and personality wise. But little did he know things would take a drastic turn…
The first few hours up to 2 am seemed normal. They drank wine and read poetry, smoked weed and talked about existential burdens, made out and cuddled but it did not progress to sex, which Stimpy was ok with. He loved his company.
At one point Jerome burst out crying.
'Gosh, where have you been all my life, darling? I love you… I love you so much!' - he sobbed uncontrollably. Stimpy hugged him trying to calm him down. He did not take him seriously.
After Jerome finally calmed down, he stood up, his face was unreadable. Without saying a word he went to another room. He came back holding something in his hand… it was a razor. Stimpy's eyes widened.
'Jerome! What are… ' Stimpy gasped with terror.
Without warning, Jerome cut his wrist vertically. Stimpy screamed. He frantically stood up and tried to take away the razor as forcefully as he could. Jerome protested and tried to push him away causing a deep cut on Stimpy's shoulder. Luckily, Stimpy was able to take the razor away from him. Immediately he dialed 911. He was so shaken that he could hardly explain to the operator what happened.
After ambulance took Jerome away, Stimpy burst out crying. He couldn't fathom what just happened. It was almost 3 am when he came back home. He went to the living room, sat on the couch and stared at the distant. Shaken. Bewildered. Flustered.
