Thanks for the reviews! I'm ill at the moment so updating is hard but I'm hoping to put another chapter up tonight.
As always, BTVS is owned by Joss Whedon, I have no money so suing me would be pointless anyway. The poem used in this chapter is called "Since feeling is first" and was written by E.E. Cummings- one of my favourite poets.
Review and give suggestions, ask me to explain things that aren't clear or even tell me off for being innacurate. Enjoy.
At dusk, Dawn got out of the bed and went to take a shower; Spike dozed in the chair, trying to watch the door as he half-slept. He watched steam coming out from under the door as he drifted back to sleep, satisfied that she wouldn't try to run. When he awoke he looked at his watch, it was eight o'clock and there was still steam streaming from the door. He walked over to it and put his ear against the badly-painted wood veneer. All he could hear was the running water, it didn't sound as if anyone was moving around in there.
"Bit?" He called. There was no response. Spike didn't think as he broke the door open with his shoulder. Inside the bathroom, the water was running on full blast and he could barely see in front of him for the steam. It cleared and he saw her. Dawn was lying unconscious on the floor, the shower curtain half wrapped around her pale body and one foot hooked painfully up around the tub. His mind raced… he could hear her breathing, see the shallow rise and fall of her chest but she didn't flinch when he leant down and picked her up, trying to avert his eyes. He carried her out of the bathroom and onto her bed, ignoring how wet his clothing and the bed was getting, as an afterthought, he lifted her head and placed a towel beneath it, letting her wet hair splay on it. Once he covered her with the bedclothes he paused, wondering what to do next, then he remembered her leg, red and blue beneath the sheets. He leant down to shake her and her eyes fluttered open.
"Spike?" she said groggily, trying to lift her head. Swiftly, he got another pillow and placed it under her head, propping her up.
"Hey, thought I was going to have to call an ambulance for a minute there." He said, smiling down at her.
"My ankle hurts," she said, her forehead knitted in pain. "I fell."
"I think you did more than that, Bit." He said gently. "You were unconscious."
She shook her head "I must've bumped my head when I slipped."
"We both know it was more than that." He said, looking into her eyes. The regarded each other for a moment, neither sure what to say next. Finally, Dawn sat up.
"I think my ankle might be broken."
"We'll go to the hospital, I can carry you. It's only a few blocks." He said, turning around as she began to root around the bed for her clothes.
"Thanks Spike" she said as she dressed.
When they arrived at the hospital there was a long wait to be seen by someone. Spike tried to protest, insisting that Dawn needed help right away, but was shot down by the world-weary admissions nurse.
"It's Sunnydale, a lot of people need to be seen right away."
So they took a seat by the ancient vending machines. Dawn leant on Spike's shoulder and began to slowly pull the stuffing out of the cracked vinyl seats.
"I saw your tattoo," he said finally, looking at the top of her head. She moved away from him.
"What?"
"The big one, on your stomach. It was kinda hard to miss." He replied. She sighed.
"Did you like it?" She said, trying to avoid actual conversation. He picked up on this and said
"It was pretty, and apt, you being a key," he started. "But I didn't understand the whole belly button thing."
"Because I was never a foetus, never for real… it was just the fact that I was the Key. So the Key is supposed to be like a foetus growing inside of me… If that makes sense." She said, looking down at her stomach, covered in her black dress.
"Got any more, any more piercings I should be aware of?" He said in a lighter tone.
She looked up at him, not sure why he wanted to know, why he wasn't mad about anything.
"Um, on my back. I have lettering. And you've seen my belly. I had my tongue pierced for a while, just to see if Buffy would notice." She tried to appear nonchalant.
"What's it say?" Spike asked, wondering why he hadn't noticed.
"Since feeling is first. The title of the E.E. Cummings poem."
"Any meaning behind that one?"
"Just that I like the poem, and agree with what it means, or what it means to me."
"How does it go?" He asked. She hesitated for a moment but recited.
"since feeling is first /who pays any attention /to the syntax of things /will never wholly kiss you; /wholly to be a fool /while Spring is in the world
my blood approves, /and kisses are a better fate /than wisdom /lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry /—the best gesture of my brain is less than/ your eyelids' flutter which says
we are for each other: then /laugh, leaning back in my arms /for life's not a paragraph /And death i think is no parenthesis"
He thought about it for a minute.
"So it's about not controlling emotion. Not tying yourself down to the world." He said. She smiled.
"Pretty much… I think, anyway."
"Dangerous thing though, freedom. Lack of control." He remarked.
"It's better than being caged, it feels better." She said.
They both thought about that for the rest of their wait.
"Nothing's broken, just a bad sprain. You'll be on crutches for a week, and I'll write you a note excusing you from PE for the rest of the semester." The doctor said, what felt like hours later. They excused themselves and went back to the motel, Dawn hobbling on crutches.
When they arrived back at the motel Spike but a can of Diet Coke next to Dawn's bed and told her to drink it before she slept.
"I'm going to get some of your stuff." He said
"Shouldn't I come?" She said, putting her jacket back on. He shook his head and pocketed their room key.
"I'm going in through the window, just to get you some clothes and that." He replied "Anything in particular you need?"
"I dunno, just jeans and sneakers I guess, and my grey Brown hoodie… The college, not the colour. And some decent shampoo." She said, taking off her boots.
She sent him out with a list of clothing, schoolbooks and toiletries that she needed. When she could no longer hear his footsteps she took of her clothes and got into bed, swigging from the can of Coke he had left. When she lay down to sleep it struck Dawn that she only had a week left of classes before the summer. She wondered what she would be doing…
