Leon and Percival looked at each other. They both wanted to ask the next question(s), but before they even opened there mouths Gwen said "it's my turn."

Merlin was officially nervous. Gwen is the most intuitive of the group. She could ask the most difficult questions.

Gwen was considering what question to ask. She could ask about who the love of his life was, she could ask about the destiny that Arthur had, Merlin had mentioned it but hadn't explained, but these questions were likely going to be asked by the others. She wanted to ask something that the others wouldn't ask. She thought back to all the strange events of Merlin's first year in Camelot.

"Merlin what went on between you and Nimueh?" Gwen decided, for months Nimueh plagued Camelot and then she disappeared. Now that she knew about Merlin it was clear he had something to do with it.

"What do you mean? What exactly are you asking?" Merlin said he trying to be vague, he just wasn't sure how to answer Gwen's question. Some things were harder to talk about than others; especially the first time you ever killed someone.

"Merlin she terrorized Camelot and then she disappeared. So did you stop her and why did she stop?" Gwen specified, she responded as quickly as she could she didn't want Arthur and the others to get mad at Merlin. Especially since she recognized that they had been asking difficult questions and pushing Merlin. It was clear that Merlin wasn't use to talking openly.

Arthur too remembered Nimueh, she attempted to poison him but then she didn't kill him when she had the chance. That woman never made any sense to Arthur. Arthur thought because she no longer wanted to kill him she just disappeared. Now he realized how foolish he was.

Merlin still hadn't answered. He didn't want to talk about Nimueh it was a difficult subject.

He knew he needed an answer so he said "I killed her." It was the truth. Though a lot happened that led up to her death, Merlin didn't want to beat around the bush. He couldn't talk with that hanging over his head. It was in the open, he couldn't take it back.

"Why?" Arthur asked. He didn't know that she was still a threat. Was it easy for Merlin to take lives?

"For your life." Merlin replied. He still remembered every moment of that day. He still had the faint scar from the fire bold she shot at him.

"Merlin you better start from the beginning." Gwen said gently.

Merlin didn't know where to start. He considered telling Arthur why she hated Uther and Camelot, but reconsidered. It was a conversation that was meant to be private, not in front of everyone.

"Alright, Arthur remember the time that I drank from the poison chalice." Merlin said. Arthur nodded, "that was the first time Nimueh tried to kill me."

Leon remembered that day to. Merlin showed his loyalty to Arthur and drank from a cup that he knew to be poisoned. Leon thought it was incredibly brave.

"Yes and no. She was trying to kill me."Merlin said. He remained completely calm, as if he was use to people trying to kill him.

That was surprising. "But why did she poison my cup?" Arthur was confused, and disgusted that someone would try and poison Merlin.

"Well she knew that I helped you destroy the Afanc, and before you ask that was a combined effort you provided the killing action but I just insured the fire hit the thing." Merlin said. "Anyways she knew that I could be a problem. So when she poisoned you, she pretended to be a serving girl. She came to me and told me that the chalice was poisoned."

Gwen remembered the girl. If her memory wasn't off, Merlin fancied her at the time.

"Nimueh knew that I would come forward and say that the chalice was poisoned." Merlin was interrupted by Arthur "she knew that Uther would make you drink the poison."

Merlin nodded. "Either way some whom she disliked would die. Arthur the prince of the kingdom she hated or the boy who stood in the way of his death."

Arthur felt angry at himself, that he had let Merlin get put in that position.

Merlin knew that Arthur had nothing to be angry about. "I made my choices and you saved my life Arthur."

"I only had to do that because my moronic servant had to risk his live for mine. When I didn't ask him to! I would never ask." Arthur stated.

Merlin didn't reply but only shrugged. "You didn't need to ask. You are my friend."

Arthur was touched. Everyone else also respected Merlin's loyalty and hoped he cared for them as he did for Arthur. They could settle for even a tenth of the affection, it was clear that Merlin was an amazing friend.

"When in I left to retrieve whatever flower Gaius needed to save your life you were near death, Right?" Arthur asked. He remembered the quest clearly, someone had helped him with magic. Could it have been Merlin?

"Yes I was." Merlin said, he was confused. What was Arthur getting at?

"Arthur, when you left Merlin was barely holding on. I remember it very clearly." Gwen said, it was a horrible week for her as well. At the time she had a little crush on Merlin; it made it that much worse.

"Oh so it wasn't you who sent the ball of light to help." Arthur said, it now sounded ridiculous,

Merlin chuckled nervously, perhaps he should show him. He conjured the ball of light that he used during the quest, at least the one that Gaius had described to him. Merlin had no really memory of the actual event. A ball of light glowed in his palm.

"Was this it?" Merlin asked. Arthur nodded.

Everyone was surprised. The light was beautiful Gwen thought. Percival thought it reflected power. Leon was the most uncomfortable. He had only ever seen magic used for evil. This shouldn't be surprising he saw Merlin levitate the Dragons body, but this just seemed so natural for Merlin, as if it was second nature. Leon realized it was second nature to Merlin. Gwaine just thought it was brilliant. Arthur couldn't believe that Merlin saved his life while he was dying.

"How did you do it?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know I was not very lucid. I understood that I realized that you were in danger and I guess it just happened." Merlin didn't know how to explain it. He just knew it was something he did.

"Why didn't Nimueh just kill me in the cave?" Arthur asked. He needed to find the words to thank Merlin for saving his life. One day he would show the clumsy fool how grateful he was.

"First off Arthur, you owe me nothing. You were saving my life, a servant, so no need for a thank you. And Nimueh learned that she was not destined to kill you."

"What do you mean? Merlin I don't understand." Arthur said. Is destiny that specific? Is there someone out there right now that is destined to kill him?

"She was a high priestess. She knew these kinds of things." Merlin stated. He didn't know how else to explain it.

"So that still doesn't explain why you killed her?"Arthur was now confused. If she was no longer a threat why did Merlin kill her? Did she have a change of heart?

"Arthur when the Questing Beast bit you I couldn't save you." Merlin sighed, "I tried every spell I knew. I had no clue where to begin." It was clear this was a sore spot for Merlin. Merlin hated to fail. He didn't have an ego as big as the Knights but it didn't mean it wasn't there.

"Let me guess, you actually killed the Questing Beast." Arthur stated. Merlin nodded, Arthur thought perhaps he should just get a list from Merlin. At this rate Arthur wasn't sure he actually accomplished anything.

Gwaine thought it was surprising that Arthur was picking up on the pattern of Merlin saving him, he thought Arthur would remain in denial a little while longer. "So mate how did you kill this magical creature?"

"I just used a similar spell to the one I used on the Griffon. The spear did most of the work." Merlin replied as if it was no big deal. Then again it seemed like a typical day for Merlin.

"Merlin could you return to Nimueh, the anticipation is killing me." Gwen said, at this point she wanted to know. She had too many strange theories going through her head. She didn't realize that she made an awful word choice, by the time she caught on Merlin had already continued on his story. Merlin really didn't bother with the little things. It was a wonder to Gwen. The boy was a saint.

"I knew I needed help so I went to Kilgharrah, who told me to travel to the Isle of the Blessed it was the only place I could find a cure." Merlin stated, this story brought back memories of the falling out with Kilgharrah.

"You know Merlin it wasn't your responsibility to save me." Arthur said. He didn't know why Merlin felt he needed to save him all the time but he was wrong. It was not his responsibility. It was his duty to protect the people of Camelot.

"Arthur you were my friend. I needed to try and it is every citizen's duty to protect their King. Anyways when I went to the Isle I found that Nimueh was there. We made a bargain."Arthur realized that this was not going to be a deal he liked.

"What was the deal Merlin?" Arthur asked his voice was guarded. He better not have done something stupidly noble and selfless.

"To save a life a life must be taken. The balance must be restored." Merlin stated in a deadpan tone.

Gwaine was shocked. He knew Merlin was reckless but this...he was willing to trade his life for Arthur.

"Tell me you didn't." Arthur said. There was no way. Merlin was standing in front of him so...but the idea of his friend doing that for him was beyond moving. He knew now more than ever that he had to make things right. He had a huge debt that he needed to repay.

"I traded my life for yours; in return Nimueh gave me water from the cup of life. Then I gave you the water, thus bringing you back to life." Merlin said, he didn't act as if it was a big deal. Like he traded his life all the time.

"Merlin..." Arthur didn't know what to say.

Merlin felt it was just best to continue on with the story. It was clear everyone was struggling with their emotions. "I was mistaken though, when you got better I didn't die. That's when I knew that Nimueh changed the pact." There was a clear sense of anger in Merlin's voice. Whatever the new terms had been, it was clear Merlin didn't like them.

"Your mother showed up in Camelot that week." Gwen said. Merlin nodded.

"The falling out me and Kilgharrah had, was about this. He knew from the beginning that Nimueh would not take my life and he let me go anyways." Even though it was clear Merlin cared a great deal about Kilgharrah he couldn't hide the anger.

Arthur couldn't imagine what Merlin must have gone through. The betrayal must have been awful.

"Kilgharrah told me that I needed to protect you and that if I were to die he would never be freed. I was so angry, I would never have bargained my mother's life, so I told him that I would never free him." Merlin felt so many emotions in that moment, grief, anger, betrayal, guilt, regret and sadness.

The group felt Merlin's fight with Kilgharrah made a lot more sense now. No one understood what could make Merlin hate his friend so much that he wouldn't try and help him by setting him free, but it was clear now. Merlin loved his mother more than anyone else in the world.

"I went back to the Isle of the Blessed to trade my life for my mother but Gaius wouldn't let me. He left before I knew and he was going to trade his life, so I wouldn't." Merlin's voice faltered. Gaius was like his father and it still scared him when he thought about seeing him dead.

Everyone knew that Gaius loved Merlin but no one knew the extent.

"When I arrived at the Isle I was too late. Nimueh had already made the deal." Merlin considered how to phrase the next part of the story.

"Wait, Merlin was Gaius dead?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded, but Merlin said that no one could reverse death.

"Nimueh and I argued, she said we were too valuable to each other to be enemies. She implied she could teach me. Then she tried to deny her involvement saying that the old religion did not care who made the sacrifice, it was a lie. She was the one making the decisions. Nimueh offered me the world, but she had just killed Gaius to me that was unforgivable. We fought...she thought that I was no match for her, after all she was a high priestess and I was an untrained sorcerer."

Arthur's mind was racing, this was so much information. All these people had played with their lives just to save him. What had he done to deserve such loyalty? Back then he was...less than great. He remembered Gwen talking about him, she had said that she thought he would make a great king, but she had not said that he was great then. Even now Arthur did not think he deserved this. Nothing he had done in his life was worth Merlin and his loved ones risking their lives.

"I almost lost but I fought back and in my anger I basically reversed the spell she used and returned Gaius's life. Nimueh was destroyed. The balance was maintained because Nimueh died." Merlin hoped they understood both how it happened and that he was not proud of killing Nimueh.

"SO I am guessing that is impressive." Gwaine said, he was blown away by his friend. Merlin had said she was destroyed not dead, meaning he was that much more powerful. Merlin on the other hand just shrugged. He never set out to impress anyone.

"I am not proud of killing Nimueh. I take no pleasure in taking lives." Merlin never wanted to think about the blood that was on his hands.

"You know men we must teach Merlin how to boast. For some reason he sucks at it." Gwaine said, he could tell that Merlin was struggling to talk about killing Nimueh. He understood that death was nothing to boast about but reversing death was saving lives was. Today Merlin had revealed that he had saved the King, the Knights and Camelot, he had a lot to be proud of. Merlin needed to see that he did a great deal of good. Gwaine thought by making a joke he could make the atmosphere less serious.

"Yes we should, I mean this is pathetic." Percival agreed with a smile on his face. Merlin should learn that he was a hero now, and when you were a hero one of the perks was being able to brag.

Arthur on the other hand said "Merlin talks too much already, I doubt he needs help"

"Hey! What's that suppose to mean? At least everything I say is intelligent." Merlin said with a smile in his voice.

"Really boys, are you going to start again. Perhaps you should try to be civilized." Gwen said while she shook her head. He boys were adorable sometimes, but they were always childish.

"I have no idea what you're talking about sweetheart." Arthur replied "we are being perfectly civilized. Right Merlin."

"I don't know about Arthur, but I am being perfectly civilized." Merlin said.

"Merlin! What is wrong with you?" Arthur shouted. Why couldn't he ever just let it go? Merlin always made him look bad in front of Gwen, he knew Merlin did it on purpose.

"Nothing but I don't know about you. Yelling at your manservant for no reason isn't very civilized." Merlin said while trying to hold in his laughter. Everyone but Arthur laughed while Merlin attempted to keep a straight face on.

"OH I really but as you mentioned you are my manservant so shut up!" Arthur said with an air of authority but mostly exasperation.

"Or what?" Merlin said, it was a clear challenge.

"I'll fire you! You're a rubbish manservant anyways" Arthur said; his voice full of irritation. Everyone including Merlin had heard this threat hundreds of time. They knew full well that Arthur wouldn't last a week without Merlin, and now with this new information it was more likely Arthur wouldn't last a day.

"Fine then, seeing as I don't work for you any longer, you are the most uncivilized person ever!" Merlin stated.

"Oh am I..." Before Arthur could continue Merlin interrupted "Yes you are. At least you see reason."

Arthur was about to start to yell but Gwen interrupted this time. "Stop it, Arthur you are the King of Camelot but you are behaving like a 5 year old." The knights snickered but immediately stopped once Gwen gave them all stern looks.

Merlin was watching with amusement. He loved getting Arthur in trouble.

"Fine, Merlin get on with the story." Arthur said with a sigh.

"You only gave up because you couldn't think of a clever response and you knew I was right." Merlin said with a goofy grin on his face.

"Merlin you too have to stop behaving like a child." Gwen said in an exasperated tone. Sometimes she wondered how they ever finished a conversation, she had to referee everything.

"Sorry Gwen, but that is basically it. Nimueh died and Gaius and I returned to Camelot." Merlin said.

"As if nothing had happened?" Arthur wondered aloud. He couldn't believe something so massive had happened and he had been none the wiser. How many things had he been unaware of?

Merlin didn't know what to say. He realized that Arthur was having a harder time accepting this than he let on. The lies must be hard to swallow. Arthur must feel left out.

"Speaking of Gaius why does he always say you are in the tavern when you're not. Arthur was once ready to storm the tavern with the Knights just to teach you a lesson." Gwen said to distract Arthur.

Merlin had to smile at that "you know Gaius. The first time I think it was the first thing that came to his mind."

Gwaine laughed, he just kept visualizing Merlin drinking. It was such a strange concept, he would have to take Merlin to the tavern once they were back in Camelot.

"Then he did it just to bother me. That or he didn't bother to come up with a better excuse. No matter how many times I told him to tell you I was anywhere but the tavern, and he still told you I was in the tavern." Merlin chuckled, he was use to it now.

"I don't know why I didn't see it, but then again you act like a drunken fool most of the time." Arthur said. Arthur made a face that made it look like he was in deep thought. "You know this makes you look worse. Now you no longer have a reason to act like your foolish self."

"Hey! You do realize that I was acting right. I wouldn't make Gaius look like a liar."Merlin said.

"Sure Merlin, whatever you say." It was Arthur's turn to be condescending.

Gwaine decided to give his two cents. "I think we should get Merlin drunk some time to compare. Purely for educational purposes."

"How about no." Merlin stated. He could only imagine the horrors the Knights had in store for him. He had watched his friends suffer through headaches, vomiting, memory loss and embarrassing stories.

"Why not? I mean Merlin why don't you ever come out drinking." Gwaine asked, he was rather confused. Why did Merlin never drink? It had nothing to do with magic.

"Um...well I wasn't sure what secrets could come pouring out." Merlin said in a slightly embarrassed tone. It was in some ways sad to hear how carefully Merlin had to live his life. Merlin had to live his life in secret, always looking over his shoulder.

"Well you won't have to worry about it now. We will take you drinking and help you make up for lost time. It can be a lot of fun to just be free of all thoughts." Gwaine said in a happy tone. He would let Merlin experience letting loose. He had a feeling that Merlin never really let himself go.

"Why not" Merlin said. Perhaps he should at least try to have some fun. All the Knights cheered, they would have a boy's night out.

Gwen was smiling she knew that all of them would end up crying in the morning. Gaius would have to make several headache remedies and she knew that Arthur would complain all day long.

While Arthur was thinking about the boys night he realized that Mordred had left. He and Merlin seemed to hate each other. It was strange though, Arthur made a note of remembering to ask Merlin about it later. It wasn't really that important right now the magic really took precedence.

"SO I think that Merlin answered Gwen's question very well." Leon stated. He looked at Gwen for approval she nodded. Gwen thought everything made sense.

"Wait Leon, I have one question." Arthur said. Merlin was very nervous. Could Arthur think he was hiding things? Or that he was a horrible person for killing someone. He hated the not knowing.

"Merlin relax, I am not going to banish you or anything." Arthur said in exasperation, really after all this Merlin didn't trust him. What did he have to do to make him see that he was on his side?

"I wasn't thinking that" Merlin said but it wasn't that convincing. Merlin knew he had to break the bad habit of jumping to conclusions. It was clear that Arthur was being unbelievably supportive.

"Even though you were able to fool me about the magic doesn't mean that I don't know you." Arthur said.

"You were going to ask a question." Merlin said in hopes of changing the subject.

Arthur sighed; Merlin was Merlin he had to be annoying as usual. "One thing we need to get clear is that I will not be executing you. Seeing as you saved my life it would make me a...clot-pole."

"Hey that's my word." Merlin said. Everyone burst out laughing. No matter the subject, how dark or dreary Merlin could make a joke.

"Anyways I was going to ask you when you saw me the day I woke up, you said" Arthur didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

"I'll be happy to be you're servant till the day I die. Or something like that. Then I gave you the best advice you have ever gotten." Merlin interrupted. He knew what Arthur was getting at and so he stated in a calm tone "I was trying to say goodbye."

Gwaine was surprised. He needed to help Merlin get some new goals. It was clear that Merlin needed to aim higher; he could accomplish so much more in his life. Though his achievements so far were impressive. Perhaps just showing Merlin how to take credit would be enough.

"You should have told me. I actually thought you were being wise." Arthur joked.

"I was wise." Merlin said haughtily.

"Sure once in a blue moon you say something intelligent, but next time you are going to do something dangerous, or plan to die could you tell me." Arthur said. "This way I could stop you."

"Deal, so who's next?" Merlin asked.

Leon and Percival looked at each other. "I've known him longer." Leon said.

"He likes me better." Percival said.

Merlin didn't look either of them in the eyes.

Arthur realized Merlin wasn't going to choose. "Why don't you arm wrestle for the honor?"

Leon sighed; he didn't stand a chance against Percival. "I have no problem with that." Percival said.

"Fine ask your question." Leon huffed. He would get his chance sooner or later. It was clear that Merlin wasn't going to run out of stories soon anyways.


First off i just want to say that I am writing this from Memory so there may be some events that aren't perfectly accurate but i am trying my best.

I hope u like the chapter :) I want to thank everyone for the reviews and just the overall support, I am loving writing this fanfic.

Happy Reading and Happy Holidays :)