AN: Ah, wonderful reviews! The life and blood of an author. I thank all of my favoriters, alerters, and reviewers including the anonymous Skeptical who pointed out that yes, my Author's Note was in itself a huge cliché in all types of fanfiction itself! -.-" But, I assure you that I will keep my word, and here we are! Presenting…
Have No Fear, Mary-Sue is here!
By Tigerbolt
One day, Team 7 went to do a mission outside of Konoha. What was their goal? you ask. Why, to rid the world of punctuation and grammar mistakes, & w/ teh hlp of Sakaru & Nartuo & Sasgay & Kashaki it wil B acumplshdd!one!oneone! :D
Just kidding.
Ah hem. While Team 7 set out of Konoha, Kakashi droned lazily to his team. "Now, now, remember the mission, guys. We are here to eliminate a camp of evil nasty bandits that have been robbing many important Hyuuga. How they do it, we don't know. They call themselves the Merrymen… Or something like that. Meh. Now, because of the last C-Ranked mission –"
"That wasn't our fault!" yelled Naruto.
"Shut-up, baka! It was yours, dolt!" screeched Sakura.
"… Hn."
"Oh, be quiet. Now, because of the last C-Ranked mission, I'm gonna have rules now that we're out of Konoha. Rule Number One –
"When you have to answer Nature's calls, BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU. You never know when you might get ambushed by a random Rain Genin, or eaten by a hungry giant snake summon."
Kakashi stopped to survey the faces of his students. Naruto blushingly stared at Sakura, Sakura blushingly stared at Sasuke, and Sasuke blushingly stared at Kakashi! What! No, never mind, that's a look of disdain. It's hard to tell with emos.
"Um… Rule Number Two: Never ever stray from the middle of the trail! I can't tell you HOW many times shinobi have done that, only to get picked off, one by one! Um, maybe it's the other way around… Never mind.
"And Rule Number Three - !"
Kakashi gave them the Stare, the Stare that he gave when they fed Naruto food during the Genin Teamwork Assessment. They cowered in fear, wondering what wacky, torturous rule this was.
"Those who have gas travel at the back! ^-^" Kakashi finished, giving his pupils his trademark U-shaped eyes ™.
Sasuke slouchingly scowled and slowly slipped to the back of the scad.
o.o"
Two days later, the group found the Merrymen and attacked, demolishing everything except for the leader. Who was this legendary leader? You ask. Why, his name was Robbin' Hood!
"MY NAME IS ROBBIN' HOOD, AND I WILL DESTROY YOU FOR RUINING MY MERRYMEN!" Robbin' screamed. He snapped his fingers and arrows came out of nowhere, pinning Sakura to a tree while wounding her shoulder. As Sakura screamed out, Naruto yelled, "Don't TOUCH HER!" and flew towards Robbin'.
Robbin' dodged the shuriken and kunai thrown by Naruto and jumped into the branches of a tree. With another snap, Naruto was captured by a bird cage that fell out of the trees. As it flew up, Naruto tried using his Shadow Clones, only to discover that IT WAS A FREAKING CHAKRA SEALER CAGE!
"Wha? Where did he get that?" Kakashi muttered.
"I stole it from the Hyuuga. DUH. I mean, I AM Robbin' Hood, after all!"
"GET ME OUT!"
"Hn!"
"AAGH! MY SHOULDER!"
Sasuke acted quickly, and threw a chakra-powered kunai at the cage's chain while he sprinted towards Sakura. However, in the excitement, Sasuke forgot to activate his Sharingan, and the poor Uchiha was a classic victim of the slipping-on-a-banana-peel-trick. As Sasuke tried to get up, Robbin' quickly tied him up with ropes and knocked him out with a punch to his neck.
Kakashi groaned and lifted up his headband, revealing a Sharingan. Alas, this was for naught as the Hood was GONE! As Kakashi cautiously looked around, he was suddenly pulled underground until only his head was above the dirt. Kakashi struggled, but found that his fingers were tied to his uncomfortable spot with chakra-enforced bindings! Great, become a eunuch or watch your students get mutilated, Kakashi thought. And, of course, like any hot-blooded male would do, Kakashi hesitated and did nothing.
Robbin' Hood burst out of the earth and laughed evilly like an evil person. And promptly received a Boot to the Head™.
A woman jumped out of the trees. She was a beautiful and sexy female, and had attractive mocha eyes with specks of gold and silver in them. She had curves in all the right places (where ARE the right places?), and had a C-cup. Her legs were to die for, and her skin was perfectly tanned. She had milk-chocolate-brown hair with red, gold, and black highlights that ended right above her shoulder, and it had no split ends or badly-cut parts. Her teeth were perfectly straight and were amazingly white, and her lips were carefully maintained and full. She wore a navy blue denim jacket, and wore a brown, short-sleeved blouse that went along well with her complexion and eyes. She wore dark blue skinny jeans with fashionable-yet-reasonably-outdoorish boots, which are quite suitable for a Boot to the Head™! She had a beautiful golden necklace with odd Japanese seals on it, and a cute jade tiger charm attached. On her wrist was a beautifully-made golden watch with an array of miniature buttons on it.
She turned to the shocked Team 7. "My name is Cassandra Percival Wulfric von Karma Norris, but you can call me Chuck!"
AN:
I based the Mary-Sue off of one of my very-good friends. Hope you enjoyed the purposely verbose description (;D), and caught all the references! To tell you the truth, I'm thinking of drawing a fanart of her… o.o"
