I woke up the next morning at 6am. Too early. This was the day that Rani was going to break it to me that I had to go to a care home. At least she tried to defend me. I decided I might as well get out of bed. I went and made a bowl of cereal. And I went over to my house for some privacy. I took my time, embracing each room. I got to my room and sat on the edge of the bed, there were still little pieces of broken sharpener crushed into the carpet. I went up the attic. I stared at the door for a moment before I opened it. Then I saw it. I'd only seen pictures and sketches of it. The TARDIS was in my attic. Finally he was here. 'Bout time. He must have heard about the funeral tomorrow. I walked round to the front of the TARDIS and he was sitting on the steps.

'Doctor?' he jumped. But didn't say anything. I went to sit next to him. 'I'm Sky Smith, I don't know if you've heard of me but Sarah Jane, she, she adopted me. She was my mum.' he was crying. I put my hand on his. I felt exactly what he felt. He put his other hand on top of mine and we just sat for a moment. He stopped crying.

'It was far too soon, Sky, but she was amazing.'

'I know.'

'It's nice to meet you by the way.' he looked at me.

'You too.' we sat in silence looking at Mr. Smith. 'Can you help me?' my voice shook.

'With what?' he shifted to face me better. I felt comfortable with him.

'Luke's not well, I have to go into care now.'

'I've heard about Luke, it won't be long, you'll be together soon.' I couldn't help it I had to cry. It wasn't much but it still did some damage, the lights went out. 'I've heard about this too.'

'It won't be soon enough. I'm not well either.' at that point I broke down. I buried my face in my hands and tried to stop crying.

'What do you mean?' he put his arm round me.

'I can't-' I ran out of the room and didn't stop running, I didn't stop running when I left the attic, I didn't stop running when I left the house, I didn't stop running when I left the house. I didn't stop. I had no idea where I was going but I became breathless too fast. I passed out in the middle of a street.

I woke up in Rani's bedroom. She was there hovering over me, her mum was there too.

'What happened?' she asked. I didn't say anything. 'Sky, you had us all worried.' I didn't say anything. 'Look Sky, I've got to tell you something...' That's when she told me I was being put in care. I lay silent for a while, she knew I didn't wanna talk. She left and came back after 10 minutes. 'The Doctor was wondering if you're ok? Do you want to see him?' I nodded, I felt so weak and helpless. He came in a Rani and her mum left as he indicated. He shut the door.

'Sky, when I was carrying you back here, I saw something, on your arm.' my world fell apart with that sentence.

'You can't tell anyone.' I slowly sat up, he helped me.

'Sky, I can't stay here for long, I'm here for tomorrow. I want to help you.'

'Please don't tell anyone, I'm begging you!' I was raising my voice a little.

'I'm sorry, I'm going to have to tell your social worker when she comes. I'm so sorry.' I couldn't argue back I didn't have the strength. He kissed my forehead and left the room. I curled up in a ball. Blocking out the world. Now they'd want no part of me. Once they put me in care they'll never speak to me again. I'll just be the crazy girl who used to live across the road with her crazy brother. What if people at school found out? I'd still have to go back there. They'll make my life hell. They weren't that nice to begin with. I tried my hardest not to cry. I let out 1 tiny tear, and the lamp blew. My life was over. Gita came in with Rani.

'Sky sweetheart?' I came out of my ball. 'I'm sorry love, you've gotta start getting ready to go now, someone's coming to pick you up in an hour, do you want to pop home to get some things?' she was trying so hard to be nice.

'Yeah ok, I'll just get my stuff together here first.' I sat up and got out of bed. Rani helped me fold things as I put them in my bag. She didn't speak. She was sad. I went into the bathroom to get my toiletries bag, my blades were in there. I clutched it tight to my chest before going back to Rani's room. She had almost finished. I put my bag in and the last few items of clothes and zipped it up. We went across the road without saying a word. It was getting late so the house was dark and gloomy this was the first time it actually felt empty. I went up to my room. Rani said she was going up to the attic. My room was freezing. I couldn't really think of anything else I needed so I just shoved in some more clothes. I put all my school stuff in my school bag and put it on my back. I took one last look around and switched the light of and left. I turned around and saw mums bedroom door. I approached it slowly and carefully. I opened the creaky door. She had a full length mirror opposite the door. I saw my pale self looking back at me. I had lost a lot of weight. My eyes had really dark circles under them. I looked ill. The smell of mum was so strong that it hurt. I saw her perfume on the mantelpiece. I stroked the delicate glass bottle. I wanted to keep her smell near me. I picked up the bottle and put it in my bag. I took my time in her room. Stroking the sheets on the bed, running my fingers through her beautiful clothes. She was gone forever. I jumped when I heard Rani call me from downstairs. I look around the room one last time and backed out, closing the door. With everything packed up, we went back over to Rani's. We sat down stairs waiting for this social worker woman to come and take me away. I'd be back here tomorrow for the funeral though.

'Rani, will Luke be able to come tomorrow?' I panicked.

'We'll see, Sky.' Haresh came in. After ten minutes of awkward nothingness the social worker turned up. She had dark hair and bright blue eyes. She looked nice.

'Hello Sky, I'm Mary.' she spoke with a patronising voice. The Doctor came in the living room from the kitchen.

'Hi I'm Sky.' the Doctor touched her arm lightly.

'Hi, before you go can I have a quick word?' he looked at me, he had genuine sorrow in his eyes. I just thought he was trying to ruin my life more. I came to this realisation that it was the Doctor, as in THE DOCTOR. The man who'd saved the world countless times, the man who pretty much made Sarah Jane the woman she is. Was. The Doctor was probably the greatest man who ever lived in he was in the next room telling a social worker that I didn't even know had, that I cut myself.

I started to shake, I was so scared. I didn't know what would happen to me. I knew that children's home weren't like the one on Tracy Beaker. These kids might take their anger out on me. Rani came and sat and put her arm round me. After about 10 minutes the Doctor and the social worker came out of the kitchen.

'Are you ready?' she said. I stood up, said goodbye to Gita and Haresh, I thanked them for letting me stay, then Rani, then the Doctor. I hugged him tight and didn't say a word. I left with Mary and got into her car. It smelled clean. I waved goodbye to Rani from the window and we drove away. Mary spoke to me.

'Hopefully you won't have to stay with us for too long, I'm sure your brother will be better soon.'

'Yeah, hopefully.' I stared out the window. She continued to speak to me but I ignored the whole way there. It wasn't far at all. We got out of the car and she handed me one of my bags from the back seat, she offered to carry the other one. She unlocked the front door and we went inside. Two little kids ran past us.

'Don't mind them, they're always like this after tea time. Have you eaten yet?' of course I hadn't.

'Yeah.' I looked around me. The walls had some kids drawings on them. 'Can I go to my room now?' I asked.

'Sure, it's the first door on the right at the top of the stairs.' I started to walk away. 'Sky,' I stopped. 'I'll be up in a minute, I need to talk to you.' I left without looking at her. At the top of the stairs I saw the door to my new bedroom. It could be tiny, or smelly, or ugly. I opened the door to find a plain white room with a bed. There was no bedding on it. Maybe I was supposed to bring my own. On the wall to my left there was window seat. I had always wanted one, but when your mum dies and you world falls apart, the excitement of previous desires vanishes. I sat there anyway and looked out into the garden. I was huge, there was a crappy plastic slide and a rusty swing set. On the other side of the garden there was a beautiful pond surrounded my rocks and flowers, it looked a bit gloomy in the dark but I'm sure in the daylight it's magnificent. Look at me, thinking about something normal. There was a knock on the door.

'Come in.' Mary came in holding a pile of bed sheets. I knew what this talk was about. She put the sheets on my bed and perched on the edge. I continued to look out of the window.

'The Doctor, he wouldn't tell me his name, but anyway, he told me what you do Sky. I want you to know, that we can get you help.' my arms were out of her view so I picked at my cuts.

'I don't do it anymore.'

'Sky, a lot more kids your age do it than you'd imagine-' I cut her off.

'I don't do it anymore.' I gritted my teeth and raised my voice.

'Sky, just listen to me...' she droned on and on. But I didn't listen. I picked harder at my cuts until they were all bleeding again. I was in so much pain. 'there are people who can help you stop.' she pushed me over the edge. I turned to face her, gripping the edge of the window seat, digging my nails in. I practically screamed at her.

'I DON'T DO IT ANYMORE!' I felt the blood running over my arm, thank god I was wearing a black jumper.

'Sky,' she said quietly. She was looking at my hand. I looked down to it, there was a drop of blood, quite large. I covered it with my other hand and brought them to my chest.

'It's, it's a paper cut I swear.' my voice went quieter than hers, I was shaking again.

'Let me see.' she stood up, arms folded.

'No-'

'Let me see, Sky.' she came closer to me. I stood up and tried to dodge her but she grabbed my arm and yanked my sleeve down.

'YOU'RE SICK!' I screamed at her, I started to cry and the lights flickered. I tried to escape her clutch but she brought me in tighter. She was hugging me. I burst into tears and the lights went out completely, we were in the dark. I sank to the ground bringing her with me. She rocked me as I cried. I don't remember much after that, but the next morning I woke up at 10am with bandages on my arm. There was a camp bed next to me. I had bled through the bandages but it had stopped now. I raised myself up to lean on my elbows. The sun was in my eyes. I realised I had to be at Rani's at eleven. So I got out of bed and got dressed, I wore a black dress that Mum bought for me only a few days before she died, I was supposed to wear if for this party that a boy from school was having, I'd already missed it now. I added a blue cardigan, TARDIS blue. I pulled on some black tights and some black converse. I looked in the mirror. I still looked disgusting, but I didn't own any make up to cover up my dark circles. I brushed my hair and pinned it out of my face. I went downstairs. I looked for Mary, she was in the kitchen. There weren't any kids there, they'd be at school.

'Oh good morning Sky, come have some breakfast.' She handed me the plate of toast she had clearly made for herself. I took it and walked over to the table. There was a man there. 'This is Josh, he's the head care worker here, you'll meet Lily later, she's the other care worker.'

'Hi Josh.' I said politely.

'Hello Sky.' he seemed ok.

'Hurry up with your food Sky, and then I'll re-bandage your arm and we'll get going.' I ate my food and followed her. We went into the office, there was 2 desks and loads of paperwork and files. There was also a sofa. I sat down and she brought over a first aid kit. I let her un bandage my arm and I couldn't even look at my own cuts. They were really sore. She carefully bandaged from my elbow right to the bottom of my arm. Pulled my cardigan sleeve down the bandage poked out a little but I didn't care really. She smiled at me and we left. I expected her to drop me outside Rani's but she walked me to the door.

'Morning Sky, you ok?' She asked.

'Not really.' she let me inside and Mary said goodbye.

'Thanks for the lift.' I said. Once we were inside Rani's, the Doctor came over to me and hugged me, he must have stayed the night. We sat and had a cup of tea each. 'What happens now?' I asked.

'Well, Clyde is coming here in a minute, then we're all gonna go to church for the funeral. Are you still ok to make a little speech?' She spoke gently.

'Yeah I think I'll be ok. Do you know if Luke is able to make it?' I just wanted to see him again, but not the was he was at the hospital.

'Dad phoned the hospital and they said they'd see how he was, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.' she put her hand on mine. What's this?' she was talking about my bandage.

'Oh nothing, I fell over, got a nasty cut. When I was getting out of Mary's car last night.'

'Oh right, how is it there? Is it ok?'

'It's fine, can we not talk about it please?' I drank my tea. So did she. Minutes later Clyde came, so we all left together in Haresh's car. I was overwhelmed when we got there, it was a large church but the yard outside was packed with people, all here for mum. The path leading up to the church was lined by UNIT members in their red hats. It was amazing. So many people were here for my mother. The Doctor hadn't said a word, I looked over to him, he had tears in his eyes. We got out of the car and everyone, literally everyone turned to look at us. It was so strange, the Doctor walked up the path first, UNIT saluted him, Gita and Haresh followed a few feet behind him, then Rani, Clyde and I. Other people began filing inside. The first thing I saw was a light wood coffin at the front of the church, then a priest. We all sat together in the front. I didn't look back as other people entered the church, until UNIT came in. They all stood in four rows at the back. It was only then that I realised it was unusual they were holding guns.

Once everyone was settled, the priest began to speak.

'We are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of Sarah Jane Smith. A mother of two, a friend, a protector.' he continued on like that but I kind of zoned out. Well until Rani went up to speak.

'The day I met Sarah Jane was the best day of my life, and one of the scariest. She always knew how to make the best of a bad situation, she was brilliant. Every day with Sarah Jane was a brand new experience. I've only known her a few years now, but honestly, they've been the best years of my life. I've met some... interesting people because of her, she's shown me a wonderful life. Not only that, she has shown me how to be a better person, how to be more positive. Sarah Jane Smith is the best thing to happen to this planet. Thank you.' she came and sat down again, now it was Clyde's turn.

'I met Sarah Jane around the time that she adopted Luke. I am speaking on behalf of Luke as well because he was unable to make it here today. Sarah Jane was like another mum to all of us, me, Rani and Maria. And-' he was cut off by the doors opening again. Two people stood there, they walked forward.

'Sorry we're late! I'm so sorry.' the girl was crying, she ran right up to Clyde, who looked shocked, but in a good way. They hugged. I figured it was Maria, and the man behind her must have been her father. Alan. I'd heard about them. They came and sat down next to Rani. Clyde continued.

'I'll go on, Sarah Jane was more than just a journalist, she was a hero, literally, you don't know how many times she's saved,' he paused and looked at us, 'saved the sitiuation.' she's an inspiration to me really, and I'm sure she is to many of you as well. She was beautiful, smart, funny, never complained, never asked for more than what she had. She was pretty much perfect, she didn't deserve this. Sarah Jane, wherever you are, we love you and we'll never forget you. Thank you. He said down on the other side of me and squeezed my hand. It was supposed to be me next but I wasn't ready just yet, I looked at Maria, she seemed to know what I meant. She went up to speak.

'As it goes, I've known Sarah Jane longer than her son has, she made me smile every day I was with her. My parents are divorced so I didn't see my mum as much as I saw my dad because she lived with her boyfriend, I mean she loved me and tried to see me as much as possible, but sometimes it was difficult you know. Anyway, on bad days, when mum wasn't there, Sarah Jane always offered her shoulder to cry on, and she always had the best advice. If I hadn't met Sarah Jane, I'd probably be one of those bimbos who only cares about herself, but now I use my time helping others, and I will continue to do so in her honour. Rest in Peace Sarah Jane. Thank you.'

It was my turn, I couldn't do it alone, so I stood up and instead of walking to the podium I walked over to the Doctor and took his hand. I didn't pull him, he just came with me.

'I've known Sarah Jane for a year, she adopted me a year ago. She saved my life a year ago. She made me who I am now, a year ago. Without Sarah Jane, I wouldn't have had a mum, or my amazing big brother. She also introduced me to my best friends, people I can't imagine life without. This is the Doctor, mum's best friend. He saved her life. And i'm sure she save your life too?' I asked him.

'Yes, she did. She was everything you'd want in a best friend and mum.' he was already crying. 'I've had a lot of best friends, Sarah Jane was the closest to me, the only one who stayed my best friend since the day we met, the day we met was so so long ago. It was a wonderful day though. The last time I saw her was at my funeral actually, funny story someone pretended I was dead and-' I nudged him, 'sorry, anyway, the last time I saw her, her smile was as gleaming as ever, her eyes were as wise as ever, her heart as big as ever. I love you Sarah Jane.' he whispered.

'I love you Mum.' I whispered. He hugged me and we stayed there for a moment. Then Clyde brought me back to my sat and the Doctor sat down too. The priest said a few more words and then it was over. People murmured as they left the church, now all we had to do was bury her. The eight of us sat in the the front row until everyone had left. As a team they all lifted mums coffin and the priest led us outside to the grave yard. I tried to help carry her but my arm was really bad. I don't really remember what happened outside but I threw a handful of soil on to the coffin once it was in the ground, then Rani, Clyde, Maria, the Doctor, then I did another one, for Luke. Then Alan used a shovel to bury her completely. It began to rain so we had to leave, the was barely covered in soil, but it was almost torrential. I was holding hands with the Doctor again. Once we got back to Rani's for the wake, he had to go.

'There's things I need to do now, but I promise I will see you all soon.' he hugged everyone and thanked the Chandras for letting him stay and I offered to walk him across the road to the TARDIS.

'Thanks for coming up to do the speech with me, I couldn't do it alone.'

'It's no problem at all, I couldn't find the words to say but you kind of brought them out in me.' he smiled at me. When we got to my house, I saw the TARDIS was parked in the driveway.

'Goodbye.' I said looking up at him.

'Goodbye, Sky Smith, be amazing. We hugged one last time and he kissed my forehead. He stepped inside his little box and went to explore the galaxy more. I was glad he came. After he disappeared in his ship, I looked over to Rani's house and she was standing outside waiting for me. I walked over to her, she put her arm round me as we went back inside. When we in there we had some food and everyone was talking about their memories of Sarah Jane. Gita and Haresh both went to work. Maria told us about when she first moved into Bannerman Road, and how she met Sarah Jane. It was a really interesting story, I'd heard most of it before, but it was nice hearing all the details about mum. Everyone shared stories and things about her, then it came to me. Was I supposed to tell my story?

'Without Sarah Jane, I'd be a weapon. I would probably be killing people right now. She took me in as if I was her actual daughter, she loved me as if she had known me all her life. I've known her all of mine.' I wanted to cut so badly again, that thought was a reminder that I had to go back to the care home in half an hour. I made the most of the time I had left here. I told more stories about Sarah Jane, the time we went shopping and she spoiled me rotten, the time we painted my bedroom and she stood in a can of paint, and then the sad memories, when her friend who she called 'the Brigadier' died, she was so sad. I was cuddled up to Clyde and he had his arm round me, then there was a knock on the door. Mary. I said goodbye to everyone, thanked them for their support and things. Then I went with Mary. We didn't speak in the car until we pulled up outside.

'I know it's been a hard day but we still need to talk about what you're doing to yourself, I've found you a counsellor.'

'A what? I don't need a counsellor for something I've stopped doing.' I got out of the car and waited for her to open the front door, I felt like she took her time just to annoy me, it was still raining. As soon as she unlocked it I tried to run straight upstairs but she stopped me.

'As soon as you've dried off come and get some dinner.' I didn't answer, I went straight upstairs. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and looked down and my bandage, I wanted to cut more but there was no space on that arm so I moved on to my other arm. I sat against the door and took my blades out of my toiletries bag. It felt weird with the blade in my left hand. I dug it into my blank skin, and I felt instant release. I felt a small smile appear on my face as I made more incisions. When I was done I put everything away and I tried to find a place to hide my blades in this room, I couldn't risk anyone finding them. I eventually hid them inside one of the cushions that was on the window seat. I threw on a hoodie and went downstairs for food. There was about 15 kids sitting around the huge table, there was a space next to Josh for me. I sat down and a Mary handed me a plate of lasagne. She was helping a woman, who I assumed was Lily, with serving it. The other kids were looking at me. Most of them looked pretty normal. Some of them spoke to each other throughout the meal others sat in silence, I was one of the silent ones. I was full after a few bites. After we ate everyone had to help clear up, I passed plated from the table to a girl who was scraping the leftovers into the bin, and she'd pass the plates on, after that Mary and Josh asked me to come to the office.

'Hi Sky, I'm Lily.' she smiled at me. She had dark blonde hair. She was quite pretty.

'Hi.'

'I've got to go now Sky, but Josh and Lily will look after you, and I'll come see you tomorrow at about 3ish, ok?' Mary asked.

'Yeah, that, that sounds good.' I gave her a weak smile and she left.

'So Sky, shall I help you unpack?' Lily asked.

'Yeah ok, thanks.' we went up to my room and she helped my put my clothes in the drawers and hang things in the wardrobe. She chatted to me, asking me questions.

'So what's your favourite colour.' I didn't know. So I just decided then and there.

'I like mint green.' like mums car.

'I like mint green too, is there anything you need like a tooth brush or hair brush?' she asked.

'No I don't think so, thanks.' I walked over to my window seat. She sat on my bed.

'Do you need a shower or anything? The bath room is just opposite.'

'Thanks, I probably will in a bit, can I be alone for a bit please?'

'Yeah sure, bye sweetheart.' she left my room closing the door behind her. I was getting sadder and sadder by the minute. I felt as though I'd never smile truthfully again. I wish mum took me with her when she went. That thought scared me. It also scared me that I really meant it. I honestly wish I'd died with her. Being alone with my thoughts was horrible. I took my toiletries bag and went to have a shower. The bathroom wasn't as disgusting as I had imagined, it was actually ok. I got undressed and undid my bandage. I sat down in the shower and just emptied my mind. I let the hot water run over my cuts. I was gonna have these scarred on my body for the rest of my life. Why should I stop? I'm never gonna show my arms again anyway. After I'd washed my hair and everything I got out of the shower. I didn't bring my pyjamas in to the bathroom so I just legged it from the bathroom to my room, risking everyone seeing my cuts. But I made it without anyone seeing me, I dried off and got ready for bed, even though it was only 8pm. Once I was ready I went over to the cushion on the windows seat and got my blades, I cut quite a bit more, after that I just lay in my bed and fell asleep really easily. It didn't seem like it, but it was a tiring day. The next day I would probably have to see that counsellor.

My suspicion was right, Lily woke me up saying that she was supposed to take me there today and the Mary has told her what was going on. Just I what I needed more people knowing. But I didn't argue, in fact I didn't say anything at all I just followed her downstairs for breakfast. It was early so the other kids were having their breakfast too. One kid was staring at me.

'Why are you so skinny?' he said. I ignored him. I ate my toast slowly. I was still eating after they all left. Lily rushed me though, she hurried me up the stairs to get ready but I still took my time. I still hadn't said a word. I threw on jeans and hoodie again. I had no idea how counselling worked. What if the counsellor just decided I was crazy and sent me to hospital? What if she made me take pills? I began to get really scared. I took as long as I could getting dressed. Then Lily knocked on the door. I sat on my bed and pretended to tie my shoe laces even though they were already tied.

'Mary asked me to look at your arms Sky. To check if you've been hurting yourself more.' I had been. I didn't answer, but I hugged my arms to my chest. 'Please Sky, it'll make everything a bit easier today. It's either you let me look now or you show the counsellor later.' I didn't want to show the counsellor so I let my arms fall to my lap and I pulled up both my sleeves and showed her. She came over to me and went on her knees in front of me, she held my arms and inspected them. 'I wish I could make you feel better Sky, I wish it was that easy. It will get better though, Sky, I promise.' she looked right into my eyes when she spoke. She pulled my sleeves down for me. 'Come on then, let's get this done.' we left my room together and went outside. We got into a van that said the care homes name on the side, 'St Peters Children's Home'. I wasn't sure where the counselling would be, but it turned out to be in the same hospital Luke was in. When we got out of the van I went all weird, it started to hurt my legs as I walked, they became wobbly and I was really aware of myself. Lily noticed because she took my hand dragged me over to the nearest bench. She sat me down and spoke to me but I wasn't concentrating I was struggling to breath, I felt this awful urge to cry but I couldn't with this many cars around, and the hospital. So I just kind of shook and tried to take deep breaths. After about 10 minutes of this I finally calmed down. Lily had her arm round me and hugging my knees. I stood up, my legs still hurt. Lily took my hand again and walked me inside. The smell of the building made me think of Luke. But we went to a completely different side of the hospital. We got to the room. The walls were yellow and the seats were blue. There was a girl my age with her mother. She was crying. Lily told me to sit down. She went to the reception desk and gave the woman there my name and who we were here to see. It was a woman named Jane. We didn't have to wait long, Jane invited us into her office. That room was yellow too.

'Hello Sky. I'm Jane, would you prefer to see me on your own or with Lily.' I took a minute to decide, but I wanted to be alone.

'On my own if that's ok.' I looked at Lily, she smiled and left the room.

'So Sky, I hear you've been self harming.' she said I thought she'd be more patronising but she was ok. I'd never really heard anyone say 'self harm' before.

'Yeah.' I was quiet.

'And your mum died 2 weeks ago, right? That must have been hard, is that why you started?'

'Yeah kind of, but I keep telling people I've stopped now, and I really have.'

'Sky, let me ask you this, if you showed me where you've cut yourself, would there be any fresh cuts?' she said leaning forward.

'No.' I hesitated.

'Then show me.'

'I, no, I was told I didn't have to.'

'Please Sky, I just want to help.'

'I don't want help, I never asked anyone for help. I just want to be left alone.' I folded my arms.

'Sky, I don't think you realise just how bad this is, but it can be fixed.'

'I know how bad it is which is why I stopped. So can I go now.' she stood up and went to the door. She poked her head out and I heard her ask Lily to come in, then she called someone else and asked them to take me back to the waiting room and watch me. She was going to ask Lily if I'd cut again and she'd tell her I had. 10 minutes later Lily came out and said we could go. I could have asked her what happened in there, but I didn't. The drive home was quiet, as were all the car rides I'd been on lately. When we got back to the home I started to walk upstairs but Lily called me back.

'Jane told me to keep you with me for a bit.' instead I ran upstairs and went into the bathroom. I locked the door. 'Sky, get out of there now, I'm serious.' I didn't answer, I searched through the cupboard and through other kids toiletries bags until I found a razor, I stamped on it to get the blades out. It was new razor so they were really sharp. I rolled up my sleeve and cut the deepest I've ever done before, but I did it vertically. It opened and blood gushed out, I couldn't help but let out a little sound of pain. I dropped the blade and sat on the floor. Blood gushed over me and onto the floor, I'd never seen so much in my life. I realised then, that I might die. And I wanted to, life wasn't worth all the hurt anymore. It never really was. I used my last bit of strengh.

'Goodbye.' I said. And Lily's knocking got louder, her shouting was scarier. But it all faded away, I saw spots, my hearing went muffled. Then there was black.