Considering, that I am writing this for someone, I can't just stop writing it, if it was my own story I would because I'm not getting many reviews. So I hate to do this, but I am going to start putting a review requirement on this story…so please for me and her, review! Thanks~
Warning- If you get emotional at sad things….you have been warned!
Eli's POV
I was sitting in the waiting room, with Clare curled up beside me, she had cried herself to sleep on me. I didn't care though, I felt as if I was going to die. I wanted to die. I wanted to scream to whatever was out there take me and kill me.
I didn't want to be a part of the living anymore. I felt the girl lying on me squirm, I looked down and noticed that her cheeks were soaking wet, and not from her tears, but from mine. I didn't bother in moving, though it has been five hours since…since…
I have just been sitting here, wasting time that is stupid and meaningless. The words similar to "you're fault" stood out to me. I knew no one blamed me, or even would give it a thought. But to me, I am the one and only reason this happened. And I should be punished for it.
Some lady must be a nurse, told me that I could leave. I just sat there and stared at nothing in particular. I didn't respond nor nod. I didn't even blink. I think she got the message because a minute later she was no longer standing there. The room was crowded with people, but I felt so alone.
I looked down at Clare again and saw that her eyes were now open and filled with tears they were streaming down the sides into her ears. She reached her arms up and locked them behind my neck. She was now sitting on my lap and I let her cry into me, as I did the same to her.
We must have been there for hours until my parents came and picked us up. Bullfrog had to pry Clare off of me and practically carry her to the car. I stood up slowly, seeing a family talking to the doctor. Relief was evident on their face, and were now crying happy tears.
"Not everyone is as lucky as you, you know? People died today! And all you care about is your-"
"Eli, come on. I'm so sorry; he's had a terrible day." My mom held my arms and forced me out of the hospital. "Terrible day doesn't even begin to describe anything." I spat to my mom. I got into the car next to Clare and slammed the door shut. It was silent the entire way home.
Now, Clare lies in my bed, tossing and turning…seems like she is having a bad dream. I felt nothing for her…not even hate, like normally. I didn't feel anything right now. Which I liked, I didn't deserve to feel. I didn't even deserve to be breathing right now.
So I went into the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom and opened the top drawer on the right. I reached in and grabbed what I was looking for, I placed it on my wrist and just as I was about to swipe,
"Eli!"
12 HOURS EARLIER
I was laughing my ass off to the jokes Adam was telling from those pale chapped lips of his. He was the funniest person I know, I can't imagine my life without him. "Oh yes, Adam, because that would totally happen!" Clare mocked him, as he held his hands out in defense.
"Hey! I never said based on a true story! It was just a joke, jeez woman!" We all started laughing again, but it only resulted in Adam having a huge coughing fit. The first few times this had happened, Clare or I always would push the red button, telling a nurse to come quickly.
But after a while, we knew what we had to do, and that it wasn't necessary to push the emergency button. Adam was always so calm though, and even as he was so sick with no hair and pale as can be, his attitude and personality never changed.
It was always nice to see his family surrounding him, whispering comforting words and hogging him the entire time, but it was awesome when his family went to the cafeteria or home for a little while so that I could hang out with him alone…and with Clare.
It didn't bother me per se…but I would have liked just me and Adam time. But I understand that Clare is in the same position, and no matter how much I dislike her, I would never say leave to her. "You alright, dude?" I asked him while rubbing his shoulder.
He smirked and nodded. He always found it amusing at how concerned Clare and I got. I didn't understand, but he claims it's because "I'm not the type to actually seem to care". Which I do! In cases like this…in cases like this.
"You both need to smile more when you are around me. You depress the crap out of me. Come on!" Adam exclaimed to the both of us while lying back down. I guess his words were true, we probably did act differently around him, and everyone did. It's just hard, and I guess it's hard to understand if you aren't in the position we are in.
"Sorry, Adam." Clare muttered while taking her seat next to Adam's bed. I sat down again too and secretly put my hand on Clare's. I could tell she was getting upset, and when she gets upset everyone does…and I just didn't want that right now.
She looked at me with a knowing look, and blinked back the tears we both know she had coming. Once she settled and was alright she gave me a soft smile before removing her hand from mine. We turned back to Adam and he had a huge smile on her face.
"What?" Clare and I asked unanimously. He laughed a little and kept that huge smile on his face. "I swear you two are falling in love!" My eyes went wide, as well as Clare's; we looked at each other and struggled for a reply, both of us coming up empty. "You see! You can't even deny it! You two will end up getting married, I swear!"
"Ha-ha, like I could ever be with him like that. I'm sorry, Adam, but your friend is insufferable. I barely can stand being in the same room with him, let alone spending a lifetime together!" She shuddered with horror. Adam laughed yet again at her reaction, but still disagreed with her.
"I'm not marrying her, dude. If it wasn't for you, I'd be pushing her against lockers, and mocking her every move. I can't stand her. No offence, Clare." Adam barked a laugh and held his stomach as Clare looked at me wide-eyed. "What?"
"Eli, you can't even bad mouth her without apologizing, at least she stuck to her acting!" Adam explained to me and that was when I realized what I said.
"I didn't mean it like that!"
"And I wasn't acting, I really cannot stand him! He is arrogant and annoying and doesn't care about anyone but himself! I honestly don't know why you are friends with him." Clare said, and as much as I hate to admit it, that kind of hurt me. I may be a little rude, but I have always been there for her when she has needed me with Adam. And I was not about to let that one slide.
"Hey, now, I have been the one there for you with Adam! I care in a way, I may not be in love with you like Adam says, but I haven't been rude to you in this whole situation. Take it back!"
Silence consumed us.
"You might as well set a date now…we all know that I'm right! I hear wedding bells, in your future!" We both looked over at Adam with annoyed glances, but we ended our conversation at that. Five minutes later Adam was really getting tired, so we let him sleep. By this time, his family had come back in and Clare and I were pushed to the back of people.
I didn't mind though, we had been with him for about seven hours. I grabbed Clare's hand and pulled her out of the hospital room, and dragged her to the waiting room, where many many people waited for their loved ones fate. We took a seat and sat in silence.
"Why do you think Adam "knows" we will fall in love?" Clare asked suddenly. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion to see that she was sitting in her chair facing me. I followed suit, might as well talk to the only person worth talking to here.
"Hmm, I don't know why he thinks that. But, don't worry it won't happen." Clare sighed and rested the side of her face on the back of the chair. I saw that she was trying to hold back tears again…for me. She knows I don't like to think about it too much, because let's face it. The two weeks are up and we all know it is coming soon.
She was blinking furiously, but a few tears still fell. She went to wipe them quickly, but I grabbed her wrist. I got closer to her face and whispered, "it's okay, you can cry." We were on a love seat type of a chair so there was enough room for three people to sit comfortably without the arms of the chairs being in the way.
She crawled closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder as she let tears run down. I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her face to cry on my chest. I rested my head on top of hers, and closed my eyes. I heard footsteps walking, coming closer and closer. I looked up to see Adam's doctor…with an apologetic look.
I shook my head. "No…no. Is he-?" Clare sat up and looked at the scene before us, the doctor placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry." My breathing became ragged and my heart was beating so quickly it felt like it would jump out of my chest. The whole world around me went black, and I was the only one here at the moment.
I felt something cling to my side and I looked over at her…she was the only one who understood. She held onto me as if her life depended on it. Normally, I could do something to comfort her, or make her feel better, but really what I needed was someone to cling onto too.
So I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her as if I was suffocating her. We stayed there like this for hours, until finally she fell asleep, and life just seemed not worth living anymore.
"Eli! Eli, what are you doing?" Clare's shaky voice rang through my ears. I looked over at her pressing the razor even harder, almost breaking the skin. "Life isn't worth living anymore, Clare…there is nothing to have me keep going." She took in a shaky breath and walked toward me. "You have so much, E-li. You can-n't do t-this…please."
"What have I got anymore, Clare? Nothing!" She placed her hand over the razor carefully, picking it up gently. "You have your parents…and Eli, you have m-me." We collapsed to the floor, leaning against the bathtub. I looked over at her, tears clouding my vision.
"You have me too."
Oh dear….I hope I did this justice! I was told to make it very emotional…I hope I did just that! Okay, so I will be updating when I get 8 reviews, and I will not update until I get that many! So, please review!
