4.
Olivia did not take to parenting as well as she hoped that she would.
Tyra screamed and cried and barely slept. Olivia ran around and rocked her and sung to her for hours on end. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep, she never had any time to just relax. Tyra was incredibly time consuming, so much so that Olivia barely saw the others because she was always caring for Tyra.
On top of it all, she missed Loki.
She missed him so much, she couldn't even begin to describe the pain she felt.
With Loki, everything would be simpler. The others offered their help, Jane especially, but Loki was Tyra's father.
She needed him.
Olivia thought it would get easier, living without him, having a baby.
But it only got harder.
"Go to sleep, Tyra," Olivia said quietly. "Please, Tyra, just go to sleep."
Tyra kicked her legs up in the air and gurgled, seemingly wide awake. Olivia sat over her cot, watching her daughter with desperation.
"I know that you can understand me, Tyra, you're not as stupid as you're pretending to be!"
But Tyra ignored her mother, trying to roll onto her stomach.
Sighing, Olivia gently pushed Tyra onto her back.
With her head in her arms, Olivia's mind wandered to Loki, wondering if he was alright. She hated him and she was furious at him for leaving her, but she missed him so much.
I miss you, she thought sadly. I miss you so much, Loki.
Olivia sighed. She seemed to be sighing a lot.
"I'm getting old, Tyra," she joked, trying to grin. "You know you're getting old when you sigh a lot."
Would Tyra get old? She didn't know.
She tried to imagine her daughter as a teenager. Olivia was certain that she'd be a real heart breaker, with dark hair and blue eyes and her father's infuriating smirk.
Olivia's lips twitched into a smile. Yes, Tyra was going to be just like Loki when she grew up.
"You better not get into any trouble," she warned Tyra, who gazed up at her. "Not like I did."
Her cheeks turned red at the thought of all the trouble she'd gotten into growing up.
Reaching down, Olivia gently stroked Tyra's cheek; her skin was cooler.
"Please go to sleep," she begged.
Tyra blew a raspberry.
Snorting, Olivia looked away, trying not laugh.
There was a gentle knock on the nursery door and Olivia frowned as she crossed the room, opening it.
"Hey Tony," she said quietly. "What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep," he said. "I figured you'd be awake as well."
"Tyra won't go to sleep."
"Can I come in?"
"Sure."
Olivia stepped to the side and Tony walked in, pausing by the cot to smile at Tyra. He sat down on the armchair in the corner and Olivia sat back down next to the cot.
"Have you heard anything?" Tony asked. "From Thor?"
Olivia shook her head. "Jane said she's going to speak to him tomorrow."
"I never thought I'd say it, but I miss the big guy."
"So do I."
She didn't add that she missed Loki more.
"What about Reindeer Games? Any news on him?"
"Nope."
"Haven't you done that weird . . . mind reading thing that you two can do?"
Olivia gave a slight shrug, looking down at Tyra.
"I tried," she whispered. "I really tried at the beginning, but he never answered so . . . I sort of gave up."
Tony snorted quietly.
"Well he's safe now, so why don't you try it again?"
"Because maybe I'm scared of what will happen," Olivia snapped back. Tyra stirred, mewling in protest, and Olivia gently shushed her.
Tony stared at her for a long time, frowning. He didn't say anything.
Slowly, Olivia tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up at Tony.
"I'm not stupid, Tony," she said with a steady voice. "Loki won't be the man that left me. I don't know what he'll be like but . . . he won't be my Loki."
"You do know that you were the first person he asked about?"
"How do you know that?"
"Thor told Jane and Jane told Darcy and Darcy told me."
Olivia frowned. "I didn't know that," she said slowly.
"Yeah, well, it's the truth, so whatever kind of man he is, he still cares about you."
"Since when were you so nice?" Olivia asked him with a hint of suspicion in her voice.
"I know that you're struggling, and don't say you're not because you are," he added fiercely. Olivia's cheeks burned as she glowered at him. "You need Loki."
"I don't need him," Olivia protested weakly.
"Whatever. But if I were him, I'd really appreciate a little effort."
Without another word, Tony stood up and left the nursery. Olivia glared at his retreating back and looked down at Tyra, who was happily oblivious of all the drama surrounding her.
"What do you think, Tyra?" she asked quietly. "Should I give it a go?"
Tyra stretched her arms up, her hands making small grabbing motions as she reached for Olivia.
Sighing, Olivia brushed Tyra's hair off her forehead. She really was sighing a lot.
"I suppose it's worth a try."
With Tyra's fingers clamped around her finger, Olivia shut her eyes and focused.
Loki?
She felt rather silly; she hadn't tried it for so long.
I don't know if you can hear me, Loki, but I miss you so much. I need you to come home because it's just me and Tyra and I'm struggling.
She kept her eyes shut, waiting.
Tyra's grip on her finger loosened and her daughter yawned, her eyes fluttering shut.
Opening her eyes, Olivia looked down at her sleeping daughter and smiled weakly. She stood up and left the nursery, shutting the door behind her.
She climbed into bed and pulled the duvet over her, curling up.
Clinging onto her pillow, Olivia shut her eyes.
I miss you, Loki.
I miss you, Loki.
Loki's eyes snapped open at the sound of Olivia's voice and darted about, searching.
His breathing slowed down as he realised that Olivia was not, as he initially believed, in his room. She was on Midgard with the Avengers.
And their daughter.
But he had not imagined her voice. Not even in his weak state did Loki hallucinate, and he was certain that he had heard Olivia's voice.
During the first - weeks, months? He did not know, the time was irrelevant. When he was being tortured, Olivia's voice was loud and clear in his head, desperately begging for him to respond. She asked him where he was, did he really mean what he said?
She stopped after a while.
He'd longed to answer, to tell her where he was and how much he missed her, but Loki couldn't.
He frowned. Could he now, though?
Shutting his eyes, Loki drifted back to sleep.
I miss you too.
Thank you IvyLinkin, TheDoctor'sAmazingCompanion, Britt, MissPadawan, VioletK and PsychoGeek for reivewing!
Now for some self promotion: I posted the first chapter of my new fic - Lost Creature. It's my first M-rated fic due to the contents and I would very much appreciate it if some of you could read/review it? I'm rather nervous about it so some feedback would really help!
