Part 4
A few weeks went by and news of how deep Brittan was getting involved in the war disturbed everyone. The family and staff tried to stay positive but however much they tried the air around them just became thicker and thicker with anticipation and restlessness.
That night during the staff's dinner did the seriousness of the war become too apparent when the doorbell rang. Elsie had watched Charles go to answer the door; the tension between them lately increasing to such a stage where when they were in a room together you could practically see the tension following in waves.
She continued to eat, her thoughts relaxing at the happy chatter of the staff around her when Charles came in, his face blank. To anyone else his stance would just seem normal but Elsie had known him far too long and the fear she saw in his eyes struck her to the very core. Looking down she saw a yellow piece of paper and her heart sank as she dropped her folk and quickly stood in shock.
Everyone turned to look at her, confused at her unusual behaviour and soon followed her gaze to the piece of paper where everyone drew deadly silent.
Mr Carson cleared his throat, his authority very much needed in that moment "Can I ask everyone to leave, apart from Mrs Hughes and Daisy" he said his tone commanding and everyone stood, quickly leaving.
Daisy stood there, her small naïve form shaking "That's… that's not for me?... is it?" she said tears brimming in her eyes.
Elsie walked over to her and wrapped a reassuring arm around her "Even if it is my dear, you don't know what it's going to say" she said trying to reassure the poor girl.
Charles walked forward slowly "I'm sorry daisy, but it is" he said handing it to her, fearing the worst of its content.
Daisy took it her hand shaking and quickly read it, her eyes widened and her mouth opened with horror. A sob escaped her and her legs lost all feeling, her body dropping before Charles caught her and Elsie clinging to the girl as well as they lowered her to the ground gently. Elise took the girl in her arms trying to soothe the hysterical Daisy as they sat on the stone cold floor.
Charles took the telegram and read it, his eye closing in sadness.
Elsie who was almost in tears, her heart breaking for the girl looked up at Charles, her eyes pleading to him to tell her what had happened.
In understanding he mouthed to her 'Her brother's dead' he said and Elsie gripped Daisy tighter.
"Oh my child, I am so sorry" she whispered and pressed a kiss to Daisy's forehead.
There was nothing either of them could do, so they sat there, Elsie holding Daisy and Charles pulling up a chair to sit beside them, somehow trying to offer some support. An hour had to have past at least and Daisy had cried herself to sleep in Elsie's arms who was dropping off herself against the cupboard. Charles smiled at the sight but his heart broke for Daisy. Getting up quietly he nudged Elsie.
Elsie stirred and opened her blurry eyes to see Charles looking down at her with such gentle and comforting eyes.
"We need to put her to bed" he whispered and Elsie nodding as Charles helped lift Daisy off her. Soon enough they were both up and Charles lifted up the girls light form and carried her to her room with Elsie in tow.
When they reached her room Elsie quickly opened the covers and Charles put her down. He lay her down and Elsie watched in awe as he tucked a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. Though he didn't voice his feelings she knew how he felt, everyone in this house was like family, even their employers and to see one of them hurt or loose a loved one was equally painful for them.
She walked over and touched his shoulder making him turn and look at her "Its ok, I can do the rest" she said gently.
Charles didn't want to leave but knew he had to so standing up straight he turned and left despite his extreme reluctance.
O00o0o0o
After taking care of Daisy, Elsie had retired for the night. She locked up the house and turned off the lamps and finally returned to her room. She changed into her nightgown and let down her long curly hair. The temptation of a bath was indeed great but found it was rather late and instead opted for an early morning wash. Climbing into bed she turned out the lamp and snuggled down.
Her mind wandered in and out of thoughts, sleep and rest unreachable. Her heart truly did go out to Daisy, the war had barely begun and innocent lives were already being lost. It was not fair, a life lost and for what? So they could show their pride for their country, it was surely a costly way to show their dedication and her heart disagreed with it immensely.
But what could she do? She was a mere woman, a woman with no rights or power, it was this thought that plagued her most. She wanted so much to show everyone reason but she knew it would not help. Everyman in the world was dedicated to his country, no matter where he came from or what position he held a man's pride was a great cost in times like these.
Even earlier as Charles walked in, for just a moment she had seen that flicker of regret; It needed no explanation for she already knew the words he had spoken barely a month ago 'For now I'm not going anywhere' were unfolding. That time was soon passing and the thought of signing up was weighing heavily on his mind. She could see it on his face when there was any mention of the war, which was becoming increasingly spoken of.
She did not want him to leave; she honestly didn't think she could handle it. Turning she lay on her back and looked up at the celling. If he left things would not be the same, so many hours of gentle talks and comfortable companionship would be lost. The thought of what must have been running through his mind all those weeks ago when she had been proposed to and the possibility of her leaving ran through the air. She now knew how he felt and she could not bare it.
Getting out of bed she turned on her lamp and left her room. Quickly she crossed the hall to Charles's room, she thought about knocking but doing so would cause him to open the door for her and therefore an explanation would be required and right now explanations seem to hard, too set in stone. And so without knocking she entered his room.
His room was much like hers, not huge but not small like the rest of the staffs just a reasonable yet spacious size. She smiled when she saw him in his bed, his back to her and no doubt sleeping. Quietly she walked in further and set her lamp down on a desk in the corner before going to the other side of the bed.
She hesitated for a moment looking at his peaceful features but she couldn't stop herself and she sat down on the side of the bed, watching as he stirred gently.
At first he jumped slightly but she he calmed quickly when he heard her voice "Sshh it's only me, I didn't mean to frighten you so" she said quietly.
He blinked a few times before sitting up "Are you alright? Has something happened?" he said worriedly.
Elsie shook her head quickly "Oh no no no, nothing has happened everything is quite alright. I just… I…" her heart stopped "I just wanted to see you" she whispered, searching his eyes for something she couldn't describe, something she wasn't sure was even there, understanding.
He did not smile just nodded and looked at her, the expression she held one of such clarity and beauty yet laced with such sadness.
He cleared his throat slightly "Did… did you want to talk?" he offered gently and Elsie shook her head.
"No" she whispered so quietly it was barely audible.
Charles sighed and looked down. He knew why she was here, he knew the reason she had come but he could not give an answer. His heart was burdened and his head oh so confused. He felt it was it would be a betrayal if he did not go to war yet at the same time it would be a betrayal to all the people he cared about if he went. And now looking into her eyes, such honesty and something he could only dream of inside them did he start to break.
He looked at her "Elsie…"
"Please" she begged him as she cut him off not sure what she begging him of.
He sighed again and Elsie looked away tears brimming in her eyes. She had her answer, she knew he would not stay, a thing such as pride was too greater sway, something too easily influenced.
Still looking away she spoke "Why?" she whispered her voice breaking.
"I have not made decision" he protested.
"Yes you have" she said back "You tell yourself you haven't but deep down you know you have" she whispered closing her eyes.
"That is not true" he said his deep voice washing over her.
She turned and looked at him "Isn't it?" she said her eyes hopeful yet accusing at the same time and Charles looked down in defeat "See, you know I am right. Stop fooling yourself!" she said anger suddenly coming over her.
He wanted to protest and say that he had not come to decision but he could not. He was so confused; at times he knew he would go yet at others he knew he could not.
This was it, this is what had stopped them, stopped them from giving in, stopped them from professing their feelings, for they knew he would go, they knew he would not stay.
Elsie shook her head "I… I cannot be angry, because… you are my friend… just my friend" she said somehow trying to separate the unacknowledged love between them.
Charles nodded in understanding. He reached out gently and took her hand "My friend" he said offering a small smile and Elsie smiled back.
Carefully he placed a hand on her hip and drew her closer causing her to lie down with him despite the little room on the single bed.
She did not question his actions and followed his lead, turning away from him as he spooned up against her back and drew the covers over them.
He placed his hand over her stomach and she took his hand in hers before speaking "Friends don't usually sleep in each other's beds" she whispered.
He smiled "True, but they do when they are in need of comfort" he whispered back before taking their connected hands and kissing them.
Elsie smiled and drew their connected hands close to her chest, the intimacy of the gesture making their hearts flutter. The words 'I love you' couldn't have seemed more appropriate in that moment but she kept her mouth shut and slowly drifted off to sleep, the man she kept so secretly close to her heart soothing her dreams as she slept.
Authors note: I am rather pleased with this chapter, despite its sadness. What do you guys think? I have great plans for the next chapter so stay close by! Please please review I really really really do love to hear what you think, good or bad! Thank you! :D
