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Quote of the day:
Today is the same as yesterday. Tomorrow is the same as today. Did you think that would last forever?
Summary: Akiho Amino is the leader of the Gahir wolf pack in makai. The only thing is: she's not a wolf demon. Amino sama is known for her indifferent demeanor and quick temper. Hidari, her right hand man, has even experienced what it's like to be on the receiving of her very angry, very drunk, self. Being her right hand man, he also knows that she once had a lover. Unfortunately, every time this lover of hers, Hiei, is brought up, Akiho goes into a drunken rage. So who is he, and how was it even possible that someone as indifferent as Amino sama could have a lover? All is not as it seems as Akiho has a seizure one day, waking up only to blabber on about emotions and this Hiei man. Follow this adventure as Akiho recalls her past, bringing up painful memories and lost moments.
Pregnant.
" Wha…" Akiho murmured, her eyes widening in horror. How had this happened? She had been so careful, making sure to take her pills everyday…
" Onna," he whispered, his eyes anxious. " Human contraception doesn't work as well with demonic seed. It's a one in ten chance..." Akiho put her hands on her stomach, awe and horror coursing through her. Something living was growing in her, something only she could help.
" This wasn't suppose to happen," she cried, tears streaking down her face. " I'm not… not ready for this!" The apparition pulled her into his arms, rocking her back and forth comfortingly. It only seemed to partly work, as her sobs racked her body, holding onto him in a death grip.
Pregnant. Something growing inside her; something that would kick and wriggling around in her womb. And that something was going to be part demon. An image of that day, that seemed so long ago, entered her mind. The image of her blood spurting out of her arms as she screeched, scrambling desperately away from a chuckling figure.
" Nothing will hurt you," his voice whispered in her ear. " Never again will you bleed from a demons claws. I won't allow it."
" What… what will it be?" she questioned, feeling herself calm down as he continued to rock her back and forth. " The…baby…"
" Hn. A hanyou," he grunted, reaching up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. " Half demon, half human."
" But… how are we…what are we going to DO?" she wailed. Akiho looked up at him, feeling how puffy her face was, and for once not caring one bit. He shifted uncomfortably behind her, his eyes suddenly weary.
" That would be up to you," he said bluntly. " It is…your body, and thus your decision. You can keep it, or abort it. It is your decision."
Akiho stared up at him in confusion. " Abort?" the girl murmured, tilting her head at him. When she finally understood what he was saying, she quickly shook her head. " I'm NOT aborting it. You can't make me give it up."
He seemed to sag with relief. " Hn. I wasn't going to make you do anything," Hiei grumbled, putting his arms around her waist. They sat in tense silence, listening to the faint sounds of Tokyo traffic that drifted into the small apartment. " I am… glad you wish to keep it."
The girl only nodded, reaching down to gently poke her stomach. It was hard to imagine that soon a child would be moving around in there, eating the same food as her, sleeping blissfully until it was time for it to enter the world. She had taken the required child development classes in high school, but the shock brought a new wonder with it. How did it grow? How did it eat? How the hell was she going to get it out of her when nine months were over?
" …My baby," she whispered, pulling his hand on top of her stomach as well. " Our baby."
Akiho carefully threaded her way through the crowd, nodding to the proud parents who cried her name in the chaos surrounding her. The men were surrounding the boys with blood on their faces, laughing and joking with them as if they were old comrades. The younger ones were looking up at them in awe, the boys asking questions of the older ones with excitement.
The full moon hung low in the sky, and the bonfires cast flickering lights against the figures gathered around them. Wolves walked around her feet, sniffing the ground for scrapes their demonic companions may have left behind. These wolves were stuck in their shape, the ones who had succumbed to their animal nature and could no longer transform into their original bodies. The other wolf demons claimed that they could talk to their animal comrades if they were very patient, yet Akiho could not confirm such a thing.
She paused as she noticed a laughing figure, his uncommon coloring immediately telling her who it was. It was a male around his early twenties, with long white hair pulled back into a low ponytail. He wore a matching white pelt, and as he turned around to look in her direction his blue eyes flashed with a smile. " Amino sama," he greeted, excusing himself from his group with a mumbled apology. The man strode over to her, his pale skin glinting in the firelight.
" Hiroyuki san," she nodded, feeling a strange fluttering in her stomach. She had not spoken to him since the other day when he had asked to court her, and now she found it strangely awkward to be around him.
" Just Yuki, if you don't mind," he grinned, one fang showing from his crooked smile. " I've always found formalities a bit of a waste of time."
" Yuki… kun," she mumbled, fighting down a blush. There was no way the leader of the renowned Gahir wolf pack was going to blush like a schoolgirl every time a male smiled.
" You performed well in the ceremony," he commented. " For a moment there I believe the recruits thought they wouldn't be accepted."
" I find it enjoyable to tease the young ones," Akiho grinned despite herself. " A pastime of sorts, if you will."
" You are good with children," Hiroyuki agreed. " It's a wonder you have none of your own. I've seen they way you look at the pups."
Akiho winced at that, putting her hand against her stomach self-consciously. " I… I hope to have them one day," she finally murmured, avoiding his suddenly curious gaze. He looked at her for a moment, his blue eyes searching her face for the answer to the strange tension he felt radiating from her.
" You would be a good mother," he finally concluded, looking to a boy with a bloody triangle on his face. His hair was pitch black, but his eyes were almost the exact shade as Hiroyuki's. " Yuu chan is my younger brother. I am very proud that he has finally become a man."
" He will be good to the clan," Akiho agreed. " He is strong and a great hunter."
" More like a spoiled brat," the wolf grinned. " He's been walking around with his head held so high, I'm surprised he can still breath." A howl tore its way through the air, followed by a chorus of excited yapping from the animals winding around their feet. Akiho joined in with the jubilant song, cupping her hands around her mouth and making her best imitation of their unique howl. " You're getting quite good at that."
" I try."
" Amino sama!" Turning around they saw Hidari racing over to them, a large grin on his face. " It's time for the dance!"
Over the next few months Akiho watched in amazement as her belly slowly grew. Her friends had been told well in advance, and already they had quite a collection of clothes and toys ready for the little ones arrival. They set aside a small section of her room for the baby, at least until she could afford to get her own apartment.
Out of all of their friends, Kurama was the one who fussed the most. He was constantly following her around 'like a hen', as Hiei said, making sure that she did not overexert herself and making sure she ate properly. After a while, even Hiei seemed to become irritated with the mother-like hovering.
A constant visitor was her little brother in high school. He would come by at least once a week, holding some sort of blue toy, exclaiming that if he bought enough blue things for the baby it would turn out to be a boy. Hiei and her brother, Komon, had already had a 'talk', though she had no idea what that had been about, and seemed to at least tolerate one another's presence.
Komon would even come over and put his hands on her stomach, a grin on his face as the baby moved under his fingers. He became fast friends with Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara as well, claiming that for once she had a cool group of friends. After a while he came by with chocolate ice cream every time he visited, knowing full well that his sister was craving the delicious treat.
" Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?" Akiho asked her lover one day, easing herself down onto the couch next to him. It was becoming more difficult to do everyday things like sitting.
" Boy," he grunted, tilting his head up proudly as he gazed at her stomach.
" How do you know?" she asked him suspiciously, sliding closer to him. He wrapped an arm lazily around her shoulder, absently playing with her hair as he thought over his answer.
" Hn. I would have a boy first," Hiei finally shrugged, " before a girl. It just… fits."
" I wonder what he'll look like, then," she mumbled, splaying her hand across her stomach. A grin crossed her face as the child kicked wildly at her hand. " Like you, I bet. He seems feisty enough."
" He'll have your eyes," the fire demon grumbled. " And look like you."
" Will he have fire powers, do you think?" Akiho questioned thoughtfully. " Like you?"
The fire demon hesitated. " Hn. I cannot be sure. While my fire blood is dominant, there is still a possibility that our child could become a koorime. It is… difficult to predict."
As the time passed, Akiho slowly forgot her fears about what would become of her child. Her stomach grew even larger, until finally, her due date came. Hiei was with her constantly at this time, making her lie down and making sure she ate enough.
" Why don't we go to the park?" she asked one day, looking up from her spot on the couch. Hiei sat on the chair parallel to it, glaring at her. " What?"
" Onna, you're about to pop out my child, and you want to go romping around the park?" he snorted. " No."
" But Hiei," she protested, struggling to sit up. The fire demon was instantly by her side, grumbling something about stubborn onna's, while helping her into a semi comfortable sitting position. " I haven't gone outside in over a week! And it's so nice out, I miss sitting under the trees and watching the stars…"
The apparition considered her for a moment, a frown tugging on the sides of his lips. " Under one condition," he mumbled. " You will not go wandering off on your own and you will tell me if you feel any pain. Is that clear, onna?" At her vigorous nod, Hiei sighed and picked her up effortlessly in his arms.
Akiho blushed as Hiroyuki pulled her along, his bright blue eyes twinkling in the light. It was ritual for the head of the tribe to dance before the night ended, representing the life that would continue on because of the boys who were now part of the clan. The pounding of the drums were ringing in her ears, quickening her pulse as she let out an excited laugh. These celebrations always made her feel like her old self, so carefree and light she felt as if she could fly.
As they twirled around one another, sweat trickling down their faces, Akiho felt an odd pain beginning to throb. Thinking it was the start of a headache, she ignored it. Bu the longer she danced, the more it seemed to hurt. Finally she fell to the ground with a cry, clutching her head in her hands. Something was burning inside her, scratching at the inside of her skull. Then came the shaking.
The wolf pack crowded around her, letting out frightful yelps as they watched their leader cringe on the ground. Hiroyuki and Hidari were right by her side, trying to hold down her limbs to stop her from injuring herself in her fit.
Akiho was brought to a place where the pain did not hurt, where a cool breeze tickled her cheek. The grass seemed impossibly green here, almost painful to the eyes. Though this place was beautiful, she found it strange that no scent reached her nose. A noise behind her made her jump back in surprise, her lips curling up in a threatening growl as she saw a smirking figure.
" You," Akiho snarled, jumping lithely away from the man with white eyes. He still wore the same brown cloak that smelled strangely of blood. " What do you want with me?
" Such insolence," the man scoffed, " from a woman who cannot even understand her own thoughts." She frowned at that, keeping her legs planted firmly apart in preparation of a possible attack. If the dead wanted to reach for her flesh a second time, she would outrun their searching, useless bones.
" It is impossible for one to truly understand everything," she snorted, tilting her head up at him. This time, she would not act like a sniveling coward. " I have chosen to wade through the mystery's of the mind, and never will reach all that I seek."
" … You possess some wisdom then," he mumbled, turning away from her calmly. Even after having met him once before, his calm indifference still seemed to infuriate the girl. Following his gaze, the wolf leader could only gasp.
There on the hill was a little boy with spiky black hair, his back to theirs. As the noise left her throat, the boy turned and gazed at them with green eyes. He smiled at the two adults before him, trotting toward them with a flower clutched in one hand.
" … It can't…" Akiho stammered, feeling her blood leave her face. " Not… it's impossible…"
" Meet Chuukichi," the man said lowly, ruffling the boy's hair fondly. He looked up at her, his white eyes meeting her own green orbs. " Your son."
The boy wore a cloak similar to the old man's own, without the stains that covered it, and just underneath it you could see a pair of black woolen trousers. " Hi Mama," the boy chirped, holding the purple flower out to her with a wide grin. " I picked it for you."
" …My… my baby…" she whispered in disbelief. The girl blinked, hoping that this was all just a terrible dream. But as she opened them again, there stood the child, his hand drooping when she did not grab his gift. " Chuukichi…!"
The child let out an 'oomph' as his mother suddenly tackled him in a tight hug, tears streaming down her face. " It's ok Mama," he mumbled into her shirt, patting her back consolingly. " Mr. Man brought me here to see you."
Akiho only sobbed harder, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He looked just like his father, and had her eyes, just like he had predicted.
" The child wished to see you," the man grunted, sniffing in disdain. " Though I have no idea why he'd wish to see the wreck his mother has become."
" Shut up!" Chuukichi piped up, glaring at the taller man. He gave his father a run for his money when it came to glaring. " It's not Mama's fault!"
" How… how are you here?" Akiho whispered, pulling the boy far enough away to look at his face. It resembled her lover so much it made new tears spring to her eyes. The child that she had lost over five years ago was now standing in front of her, his eyes filled with a light that should not be there.
" We're here in your dreams," the man stated. " Your son is not of the living, and cannot reach you while you are conscious."
" I wanted to see you, Mama," he smiled goofily. The boy reached up with one hand to gently touch her cheek, a sort of fascinated wonder entering his eyes. " I've watched you, but I've never gotten to talk to you. We have good news, Mama."
" You know you cannot speak of that," Mr. Man snapped, suddenly standing next to them with a furious frown on his face. " The living may not hear the matters of the Reikai."
" Aw, Mr. Man," the boy huffed, sending him an un-frightened pout. It seemed almost as if nothing could un-ruffle the boy. " Why can't we? You know how sad she was when I died. This would make her much happier!"
" NO!" he boomed, the wind suddenly tearing at their clothes.
Chuukichi sighed; dropping his hand from his mothers face with the dramatics only a child could conjure up. " I'm sorry Mama," he mumbled. " But you'll find out really soon. Then you'll be happy again!"
" I'm just glad to see you," Akiho murmured, running a shaky hand through his dark tresses. My Son. He wasn't supposed to be here, standing before her with that carefree smile gracing his face. " Chuukichi…"
" Come," the man commanded curtly, walking past them. There is something you should see." Akiho stumbled to her feet just in time to feel the ground moving beneath her feet. As her son helped her regain her balance, she looked around and blinked in surprise. They were now standing on a steep hillside, looking down at what looked like another battlefield. This one was almost completely washed away by the passage of time, yet here and there you could see the dull shine of ancient armor.
" What are you showing me now?" she demanded, looking at the child at her side with a frown. Normally she would be worried about such a young child knowing of the terror of the adult world, but his young eyes looked at the field with an understanding that was beyond his years. " Why another battlefield?"
" This is the place of a great battle," Mr. Man began. " Here in this spot, thousands died in the name of their country. Surprisingly enough, especially back in those times, a young woman led this army."
" A woman, you say?" Akiho questioned, the idea perking her interest.
" Yes. She was born in a country full of strife, fighting against the foreign countries that were trying to control them. When all seemed lost, this girl came and won battle after battle. She claimed to see divine visions, yet many thought her to be an insane peasant who could not have possibly done as much as the stories claim."
" What came of her?" Akiho asked, crouching down to touch a rusted piece of army. Even now, hundreds of years later, a tattered feather was soaked in the blood of a fallen soldier. " What became of her country?"
" After assuring the country was ruled by the rightful man, she was captured by a rebel army and sold to the enemy," he said sadly, his eyes gazing unto the battlefield. " They claimed her a heretic, and she was burned at the stake."
" How horrible," she murmured, turning from the feather. There sat the shattered tip of a bloody sword, poking out of the Earth in another spot was the remains of what used to be a hand. " That such a strong woman was cut down because of the very fact that she was, indeed, strong."
" Do you realize why I brought you here?" the man asked suddenly, watching her face closely.
" Honestly? No idea," Akiho admitted. The wind tore at her clothes, and even in this dream world she found herself shivering.
" This woman was not insane," Mr. Man said, his eyes taking on a glazed look. " She was indeed given divine guidance from our world, and yet was punished for it. She knew what people thought of her, knew what would happen as the enemy caught her. Why do you believe she continued, girl?"
She was silent for a moment, a frown on her face as she thought his words over. " Because she believed that what she was doing was right," Akiho grumbled, meeting his gaze full on. " That… sacrificing herself would help the country and people she loved so much."
" In part, you are correct," he nodded. He seemed pleased with her answer. " Yet there is one more thing. " She did what she wanted to do. Did what she desired, and paid the price for it. Do you believe that is wrong?"
" What's so wrong with doing what you wish?" she countered. " We all have our own desires, and we are bound to follow them."
The man glared at her for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. " You still seem quite blind to what is really occurring," he whispered. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he asked, " Then why is it you have fulfilled none of your own desires?"
Akiho paused. " What desire's do you speak of?" she asked in confusion. " I am not sure what you are referring to. My only desire is to protect my pack, and it is so."
" … That is true," he nodded. His eyes took on a steely glint. " But you must understand that right now, it is as if there are two people inside of you. You're human side, and your other personality you have created. The one where you hide all emotions, and pretend you are fearless. That is the side that wishes to protect your pack, and you have fulfilled that wish. But you have not given thought to your human side. What does it desire?"
The woman frowned, struggling inside herself. She had locked away her human self, in part to save her mind from her despair, and in part to seem invincible to her new family, the Gahir wolf pack. Strong walls where blocking that part of her mind, and after so many years of locking those thoughts away, she found it difficult to open them. " … I do not know," she murmured. " I cannot… cannot reach that part of myself anymore. It is sealed from me."
" Then can you remember what it was you wished when you had Chuukichi in your womb?" Mr. Man demanded, his eyes hardening. " Or are you too weak to even remember that?"
" I am not some weak cub," Akiho snarled immediately, tilting her head up at the insult. After a moment, she added hesitantly, " I wished to be a good mother to him. Wished to give him everything I did not have."
" What of the fire demon?" he questioned. " Your relationship with him was not final. What did you wish to happen between the two of you?"
" I… I wanted us to stay together," she grumbled, uncomfortable with sharing this side of her with the strange man. She had not even told Hidari these things, though he had probably already come to such conclusions on his own. " To be a… a family, with Chuukichi. I wished to be… happy." Now she was gazing at the child by her side, a bitter smile gracing her features as she gently ran a hand through his soft hair.
" Papa's was sad when I died," Chuukichi said, looking up into her eyes. " I watched him. When you were sleeping in the hospital, he kept mumbling to himself. Kept saying it was all his fault. But it wasn't Mama, it wasn't his fault."
Akiho felt her chest constrict with the mention of that terrible day, and even worse was the thought of her lover. " No… no, it wasn't," she croaked, adverting her eyes from his. " It wasn't anyone's fault, Chuukichi."
The boy looked up at her knowingly. " … You're still mad at Papa, aren't you?" he asked quietly. " Mad and sad. You didn't like that he… left, without telling you."
" I… I'm not sure Chuukichi," she murmured. She crouched down next to him, putting her arms around him. Whether to assure her son or herself, she wasn't sure. " I… loved him very much. Very, very much. And now, I'm angry at him, but my love is still there."
" You're seeing that other man now," the boy grumbled with a frown. " That wolf. Why don't you go home, Mama? Go home and find Papa, so you can be happy again." Even Mr. Man seemed to anticipate her answer.
" I could," Akiho said hesitantly. " I guess… I'm afraid of what I will find when I return. I'm afraid he won't… won't love me anymore, and that would hurt much more then never seeing him again. And besides, I have a new home and new family to take care of. They need me as much as I need them."
Before the boy could even muster a sound, the man stepped up behind her, gripping her shoulder with one of his spindly, wrinkled hands. " Your time here is short," his voice rumbled. " Already your friends in the real world are attempting to wake you."
" No!" Akiho exclaimed, clutching her son closer to her. Her face suddenly drained of its color, and she shook her head frantically. " Not without Chuukichi."
" He is not of the living," Mr. Man boomed. " He stays."
" It's alright, Mama," the boy comforted. His tiny hands caressed her face, a soft light entering his eyes. " I promise to come see you again, as soon as I can."
Suddenly the world started spinning around her, the colors blurring and mixing into one until it all become black.
" NO!" she screeched, her limbs flailing around. Her arms, even though they were pinned to her sides by more then five men, managed to throw them all off balance.
" Amino sama!" Hidari shouted, his worried amber eyes gazing down at her. He held her head between his hands, patting her pale cheeks to try and focus her attention only on him. Her frantic eyes finally settled on him, her breathing ragged as she slowly realized where she was. " Amino sama, everything's alright. You had another fit."
" I saw him," she gasped, her trembling hands reaching up to grab his wrists. " I saw him there."
" Saw who, Amino sama?" the wolf asked gently, sending a sharp look to the crowd around them. They immediately left, save for Hiroyuki, who sat nearby with a curious expression on his face.
" …Chuukichi," she whimpered, closing her eyes as if she was in pain. Hidari froze. " …My son…"
The wolf sent a worried glance down at his leader. First she saw her lover, the fire demon Hiei. Now she saw the son she had lost over five years ago. Was there something wrong with her? Was his leader sick?
" You need to rest," Hiroyuki intervened, suddenly looming over her. " Please, Amino sama, if you'll allow me to lead you inside?" Akiho looked up at him in confusion, as if she did not recognize him, before shaking her head and accepting his hand. She pulled herself unsteadily to her feet, leaning heavily against the albino wolf for support.
" Yes…" she murmured. " Rest… all I need is some rest…"
One moment they were enjoying a wonderful picnic in the park, the next she was screaming. Blood flooded down from her abdomen, soaking into her clothes. The sight of it made her screech as she tried to cover the wound, rolling into a fetal position. Hands were grabbing at her, and she found herself screaming even louder. " GO AWAY!"
" Onna! Onna, it's me!" the fire demon's voice hissed. She looked up through the strands of hair blocking her vision, assured that the figure above her was indeed Hiei. The apparition picked her up in his arms, blood covering him from head to toe. She had no idea that he was barking out orders to Botan on the communicator, barely even noticed as he walked through the portal to the Reikai.
The distant sound of voices reached her ears, but none of the words seemed to make any sense. Hiei was holding her tightly to his chest, walking down a white corridor with multiple creatures surrounding them. They looked slightly more human then Koenma's other workers, but all had strangely colored skin and long, pointy ears. All of this she saw, but none of it she understood. Why was she here? Why couldn't she feel her body, or feel the heat of her lover's body? " Hold on, onna. Stay awake." She was placed on top of a cold, flat surface, before she finally succumbed to the darkness.
It was hours later before her eyes fluttered open. A loud bang had awoken her from her restful sleep, and it took her a moment of searching to figure out what had caused it. She lay in a startlingly bright room, wrapped snugly inside a warm bed. Hooked up to her arms were multiple IV's, and bandages restricted her breathing. Complicated machines lined the wall nearest to her, beeping every now and then to break the eerie silence.
The double doors leading into the room were hanging wide open, and there in the hallway stood two figures. Her roommate, Kurama, and her lover, Hiei. The fire demon was clenching his fists at his side, facing away from her. The redhead was standing next to him with a despairing look on his face. " … How did it all happen?" his distant voice asked mournfully.
The fire demon titled his head to look at his friend, and Akiho felt her heart constrict at the pain showing on his face. "…the demon came out of nowhere," his quiet voice whispered painfully. " Its aura was hidden somehow. I… did not sense it until it was too late."
" I am so sorry, Hiei," the fox murmured. He reached out a hand to touch the apparition's shoulder, but withheld it as he jerked violently away. " How is she?"
" She hasn't woken up," he growled, crossing his arms over his chest. " She… doesn't know…"
Akiho struggled to sit up, alerting the two demons of her wakefulness. The fire demon rushed to her side, putting his hands on her back to help her sit. " Careful onna."
" Hiei?" she quivered, feeling the world spin around her. She did not remember how she had gotten here, nor why she felt so weak. " Where… are we?" The two demons sent a pained look to one another.
" You were attacked, onna," he mumbled. Akiho frowned when she noticed that he did not look her in the eyes. " By a demon."
" You saved me?" she questioned. What was wrong with him? At his nod, she relaxed. " Then… what's wrong?"
Hiei sent an agonized look to Kurama and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Clasping her hand in between his own, he finally raised his tormented eyes to hers. " Onna… the baby… didn't make it…"
Her expression was emotionless. She slowly reached down to her abdomen, panic rising in her when she did not feel the lump that had been forming there over the past seven months. The girl yanked off the covers, looking at her flat stomach with dismay. " No," she murmured. " NO!"
Hope you enjoyed the chapter! This should be the last chapter with any flashbacks in it, but I don't guarentee it. Review!
