First time...

Sometimes James Potter wished he could keep his mouth shut. To just cast a spell that prevented him from uttering terrible things that would get him, and the parties involved into trouble. However, if such a spell did exist, it was not in general knowledge and therefore on more than one occasion James Potter had a terrible case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. As it appears, so did Lily Evans. But then again, sometimes James came out with utterly suave comments that not only saved him from trouble, but brought about brilliant things.


James Potter reckoned that he was the luckiest bloke alive. He had recently graduated from Hogwarts as both Quidditch Captain and Headboy, and had somehow conned Lily Evans into 'going steady'. While most people assumed that James was a pro at brewing amortentia, or excelled in the imperious curse, the truth of the matter was that he was irresistible (or so he said). Others assumed that it was not James who was brewing/cursing, but rather that Lily Evans had forced James Potter to be in love with her; to which the girl in question would rebuff, stating that she was simply irresistible.

All things considered, James Potter and Lily Evans were both irresistible and head-over-heels for each other. Within every relationship are a series of firsts: the good, the bad, and the downright sexy. In the opinions of both James and Lily (who were rather good at disagreeing) last night was undeniably a case of the latter.

It began like any other night; a dinner date in Camden (because they were bloody awful at cooking) followed by one-to-many drinks and a slightly intoxicated good night kiss by Lily's front door. Usually, Lily would sneak inside, careful not to wake her sleeping family, and James would apparate home. However, Mr Evans had been invited along on a company fishing trip, and had taken his wife, eldest daughter and her fiancé with him. The house was empty.

Something primal had stirred in both Lily and James, soon one kiss wasn't enough, and James was forced through the door and onto the plush sofa. Between heated kisses, clashes of teeth and accidentally-on-purpose stroking ("sorry Evans, didn't see where my hands were") the pair had barely managed to make it to the bedroom. At this time, a tiny portion of James' mind was warning him not to say anything, yet he could barely resist the temptation. Luckily this was not an instance of foot-in-mouth syndrome; instead it was a rare moment of suavity that allowed James to reap the awards.

Of course, then his mouth was put to work, but that's a story for another day.


However, the omnipresent spirits that James and Lily never seemed to consider had decided that one good night of fair fortune was more than enough. James was slow on the uptake, and perceiving that there was not a damn thing wrong in the world, apparated over to Sirius' new place.

Strolling through the doors, James loudly proclaimed "Well Lily and I finally did it", waiting for his best mates jealousy. Yet instead of the predicted cries of outrage, James' declaration was met with laughter and the voice of a much older man. A very recognisable older man. His father.

"What did you and Lily do son?" Charles Potter asked, as he installed Sirius' cabinets. James felt his grin falter, as his father's hazel eyes bore into his own. Hastily searching for a lie, for anything else than telling his conservative father that he had banged his girlfriend, James let his wild mouth run.

"We decided to get married."

Sirius fainted.


Across town, Lily was having a much smoother morning. She had woken up early, still basking in the afterglow of sex, and had immediately owled Ariadne to warn that she was coming over. After all, how dumb would you be to show up unannounced and just declare your dirty actions to the world?


The words were out of his mouth before he could consider what he was saying. Oh Merlin, had he really just told his father and his best friend that he was getting married? He was nineteen!

"Congratulations Son, I always knew you had it in you."

James was momentarily thrilled. He had his father's approval...for something that wasn't even real. James figured that now he'd have to marry Lily, and all things considered, he kind of wanted to. Now all he had to do was get her to agree.


The instant Lily arrived at Ariadne's flat, her best friend had known. Of course Ariadne described her profound knowledge as a part of the best friends' code, when in fact Lily Evans was walking incriminating evidence of 'the deed.' The girl had foregone her morning shower in haste to see Ariadne, and still bore the signs; rumpled hair, smudged makeup and her skirt tucked into her red knickers. When this became evident, she tossed a pillow at her mate ("I'm burning that Evans, I know where your hands have been) and insisted she was taking a shower.

Once she was presentable, Lily sat with Ariadne, devouring a tub of Ben and Jerry's and determined that it was the start of another perfect day. The two of them had giggled relentlessly as she described a shirtless James Potter, and his pitiful attempt at dirty talk.

"He did not try role playing as a Muggle cop" Ariadne exclaimed

"Oh Ar, he did! He thought they were called cots and somehow handcuffed his hand to his leg. Then, because we lost the key, we had to make do" Lily snickered into her ice-cream.

The door suddenly barged open, causing the Witches to leap to their feet, wands in hand. Of course, it wasn't Death Eaters, it was Lily's idiot boyfriend, the rest of the marauders, and for some strange reason, Charles Potter.

"Hello Lily, Ariadne" James greeted cautiously.

"Officer Potter" Ariadne replied, quirking her lip up into a smile.

"What are you doing here James, with all of your mates?" Lily asked frozen.

"Why, James told us the good news, and we came to congratulate you!" Charles chimed in.

Lily looked at James in horror, "you told them all that you and I – "

"Got engaged" James cut through. "Sorry dear, may I speak with you in the kitchen."

Before Lily could protest, James grabbed her hand and dragged her into Ariadne's cramped kitchen. He cast the strongest muffliatio charm, and braced himself for his oncoming death. Why had he chosen the kitchen of knives, saucepans and rolling pins. Really, he should have dragged her into the linen closet, there were no dangerous objects there.

"What, did you do" Lily hissed. As James hastily relayed the story, altering minor details so that Sirius would bear the brunt of the punishment, Remus escorted Charles home, telling him to spread the word to Lily's future mother in law.

"- and that's how we got here. So what do you say, Lily, want to get married?"

Lily was barely given a second to process this odd request, before the other Marauders burst into the kitchen.

"Blimey Evans, you must be one hell of a shag, if he wants to marry you" Ariadne winked.

"THEY DID WHAT?" Sirius and Peter exclaimed.

"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?" Lily yelled at James.

"I'm going to make things clear," Remus said, "Lily and James fornicated, last night. James lied to his father and said he was marrying Lily, but Lily didn't know this. Now he is proposing, rather poorly if I may add. Since we're up to date, does anyone else want a cuppa?"

A/N

aaaand we're done. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. It's been fun.