Yay! Bonus chapter. I haven't decided if I'm going to start updating twice a week, but I got a request from a birthday celebrant for a chapter today and I delivered! So happy birthday Babe!

Not mine. Only the mistakes are.


"I'm sorry, I think I'm going deaf." Joe said. "You're doing what?"

"Going undercover with Ranger." I didn't look up from the bowl I was stirring. I wanted all of my concentration on the apple mix that needed a few more minutes of stirring.

Plus, I didn't want Joe to see me blushing so brightly.

"Yeah I heard that part. What was the part after that?"

My head dipped lower. Any lower and it'll be in the bowl. "That we're going to pretend to be married?"

"Yep. Okay. That's what I thought you said." He chuckled into his beer.

"It's not funny!"

"Sure. What are you doing there?"

"Making a pie?"

He slammed the glass down. "Okay, am I dying? Because it's either that or hell has frozen over. Since it's not snowing in July, I have to assume I'm dying."

"Shut up."

"If I would've known that all it took for you to cook was to make you pretend to be my wife, I would've done that years ago."

"Okay. Who invited you over?"

"You did."

"Oh right. I need a tester." I smiled wickedly at him.

I decided I was going to try to get myself into the wife mindset. I didn't want to clean and I didn't have mountains of laundry, so cooking seemed to be a nice and slow place to start. I borrowed some simple recipes from Ella and I wanted to see if I could cook. I poured the apples into the crust. "Come on. I'm not going to poison you."

"Can I call my lawyer first and update my will?"

I glared at him.

He came around the kitchen counter and hugged me. "You know I'm just kidding. I'm sure it's great."

"Thanks." I decided to put the focus on him and away from my pies. "How was your date last night?"

"Great. Nina's great."

"And…?"

"And what?"

"I don't know. This is your first date. I don't know what ex-girlfriend slash friend asks."

He shrugged. "We went to Pino's… What?" He asked when I wrinkled my nose.

"You went to Pino's? Isn't that like the fourth date stuff? We've already had sex so I don't need to impress you date?"

"She chose to go there."

"Wow, really?"

"I asked. And she picked."

"Huh." I smiled.

"What, not first date material?"

"I think she was establishing herself as your new woman."

"What?"

"Who goes there?"

"Everyone."

"Exactly."

"I don't get it."

I sighed. What is it about men that they don't get? We can tell when they're trying to mark their territory, but when we do it, we look nuts. "She was showing the Burg that you've moved on from me to her." He still looked confused. "She peed in a circle around you."

He actually looked happy. "You think so?"

I shrugged. "Sure. It's what I'd do if I was the next woman after such a long relationship."

"Did you pee your circle around Ranger?"

I laughed. Thankfully before I had to answer, the bell dinged. I pulled the pie out and breathed a sigh of relief. The pie had survived without a burn on it. It actually looked good. I turned it to Joe and smiled. "See?"

"Looks good, Steph."

I cut him a piece and put it in front of him. He sniffed it and gently put his fork into it and forked a small piece. He chewed it slowly and his face changed from concentration to complete surprise.

"It's really good."

I perked up. "You really mean it?"

"Yeah. Steph, this really is good. It rivals my mother."

That was high praise coming from a Burger. "Thanks."

"Who knew you could cook like this?"

I shrugged. It really was a mystery.

Joe plowed through one more piece and I wrapped another to go. I ate the rest of the pie.

"You know, the only thing that would've made it better was if there was ice cream." He leaned against the open doorframe.

"Sorry. Fresh out."

"I figured. You just had your period."

"How do you…?"

"You forget, Stephanie that we used to date." He kissed me on the cheek. "You never did answer my question."

"What's that?"

"Did you do your circle around Ranger?"

"Bye Joe."

He turned to the elevator. "Think about it."


And that's exactly what I did. Did I pee in a circle around Ranger? I never saw any other woman get within five feet of the man. Of course that could be because he is so hot. I remember I couldn't do that for a while. It took me months before I could cross that barrier.

But was that the only reason? Did I place some claim on him? I don't think I've ever seen him with another woman other than Ella and Jeanne. And Jeanne is only marginal as a woman. I think she's part machine.

I looked at the extra pie I had made and sighed. I guess there was only one way to find out.

The elevator doors dinged as they opened on the seventh floor. I nervously stepped out, shifting the pie from one hand to the other.

I still couldn't believe I was doing this. What if he laughed in my face? Then I would've ruined the best friendship I have for nothing. I wasn't ready for this.

Somehow my feet didn't get the message. Before I could bolt away, I was knocking on the door.

Ranger looked surprised when he opened the door. "Babe."

He looked gorgeous in a grey t-shirt and sweat pants. I drooled for a moment then opened my mouth.

"I brought pie." Mental head slap. He can see that, stupid.

Ranger smiled.

"I mean, I wanted to get into my character a little early. You know, prepping to be Susie Homemaker. So I talked to Ella who gave me some recipes and I tried one tonight. I thought if you weren't busy that we could try it and maybe talk and… Oh my god, you're not alone." I said when I heard the giggle. I looked at Ranger's face and saw the guilt.

"Babe, it's not…"

I stepped back. "No really, it's okay. We can do this another time." You know, when I get out from under the covers. Once again, I was ready to bolt when a pink blur ran into me and squeezed me. Hard.

"Stephanie! It's so good to see you! I haven't seen you in forever!"

The blur stepped back and recognition hit. "Julie? Is that really you? You look so grown up!" And she did. She was easily a foot taller and her hair was shorter, giving her face a leaner look. It also made her big brown eyes, Ranger's eyes, even bigger. Her smile was wide as she pulled me into the apartment.

"This is so great. I was just asking Ranger about you and here you are! It's like you heard me talking about you. I'm into psychics right now…" And she rambled on while she walked into the living room. Ranger and I stayed behind. I raised my eyebrows.

"Her mom let her come up for a visit before we left. I was going to have her surprise you at your desk tomorrow." He grinned now. "I should've known that when it comes to you, I'm the one usually surprised."

"If you want to be alone with her…"

"No," he said, lacing our fingers together. "I want you here with us."

Ranger and Julie also thought my pie was a hit. Surprisingly enough, Ranger had two slices. I thought Julie and I were going to fall off of our chairs.

"I've never seen him take a second piece. Ever." Julie said.

"Me either."

"Are you two done eying me?" Ranger asked with mirth in his voice.

"No. I need a picture." I pulled out my iPhone. "Lula will fall over."

"I remember Lula. We e-mailed for a while."

I turned to her. "You did? I didn't know that."

"Yup. We started the 'Stephanie Saved Our Ass' club."

"Julie."

"What? She made it up. And I'm fourteen now! I can swear."

"Says who?"

"Mom. But she says not to do it in public. Or family. Just sometimes when I'm alone or around her. And none of the bad ones like the f-word or the d-word. But crap, shit and ass are fair game."

"Do I look like mom?"

She paused. "No."

"Then we don't swear."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine." It was that moment when her phone rang and we lost her to her friend.

"Now I need video."

"Why?"

"I thought I'd never see the day when you'd parent. No one is ever going to believe that one."

"Babe."

"Come on, I'll get her back in here and we can do that again. Take two."

I swear, Ranger wanted to roll his eyes.

"Are you glad to see her?"

He nodded. "I never thought I'd have a relationship with my daughter."

"What made you change your mind?"

He looked at me. "You."

"Me?"

He nodded. "Before you stumbled into my life, I kept everyone on the outside. It was safer that way. No ties to anything, nothing for the bad guys in my past to use. Then you came along, with your bag of crazy…"

"Hey!"

"Not that it's a bad thing. I actually like your bag of crazy. Keeps me on my toes."

"Good."

"You showed me that letting people in is okay and you helped me to see that I may not need to take care of every little detail. Bad guys are going to show up, no matter what." He leaned in. "Something else you taught me."

I shrugged. "Crazies like me."

"So let them show up. I know I'm capable of taking care of what's mine. There's no real point in worrying for something that may or may not happen."

I smiled. "So you started to see Julie more."

He looked over at her and smiled softly, watching her talk to her friend. "And I'm so glad I did."

"Me too."


The alarm the next morning startled me into consciousness.

The mocha latte arm that stretched over me, startled me awake.

Holy crap. I'm still in Batman's apartment. I remember Julie inviting me to stay and watch movies with them and by the time we finished, Julie was asleep on the couch and I was in no mood to drive. So Ranger let me crash in his bed.

Only, I remember going to sleep by myself. Right now, I'm pretty sure we were spooning.

Did we do anything with Julie five feet away?

Time for a panty check. I wiggled around and felt them.

Thank god.

I was surprised to feel a little disappointment. Huh. Maybe I was missing sex.

"Good morning." Ranger said, nuzzling my neck.

"Uh, hi."

He continued for a second, and then froze. "Fuck. Sorry, Steph."

"It's fine. You were still asleep." Then I grinned. "And watch the language."

"I'm not fourteen years old."

"It's okay only if you're an adult?"

"Babe, I remember very well when you enjoyed my swearing."

I blushed hard. "Jeez."

He rolled onto his back and I turned to face him. "You came over to talk last night and we never did."

I bit my lip. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with teenage ears so close. "It wasn't important."

His eyebrow flicked up. "Babe, you brought me a pie. At ten at night."

"So? Can't I just come over with pie?"

He wolfishly grinned at me.

"Okay, bad example. It's nothing that can't wait."

His face turned serious. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "What are you doing in here? I thought I was going to get the bed to myself."

"Babe. I told you that we'd have to share. You said sure as long as I made a pillow border."

Oh. Now I remember. "Did you?"

"I didn't have to. You were snoring when I got out of the shower."

"I don't snore!"

The door slammed opened and Julie jumped into bed. "Good. You're up. Ella brought breakfast."

Thank god. I needed to get out of this bed. It was feeling scarily domestic.

And I was starting to like it.