You're Bad
[Chapter 03 – Part 04 of 12]

Author's Note: As always flashbacks are in italics, and I'm not a native English speaker, this fiction has not been proof read.

This is mostly Sawyer centric, how he deals with Kate's behavior. I'd say this chapter is mainly Skate with some Suliet at the end, so watch out. I had fun writing it, it's not the first time I write from the perspective of a male character, but that's always hard to do, since I'm a woman. Sawyer is such an interesting character though. I love how he's always angry.

Chapter Summary: "Dear Mr. Sawyer, You don't know who I am, but I know who you are and I know what you done!" Sawyer deals with a promise he made to Kate while some skeletons on his closet decide to come back to haunt him.

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Sawyer paced around his cage. He was there because Michael was a traitor and had led him, Kate and Jack into a trap, they were captured by the Others while Michael and Walt were set free and Sawyer hadn't seen either of them since the Others put a bag over his head. He didn't know which worried him more.

The fact that he was in an animal cage in the middle of the haunted jungle; that the kid who tried to help him escape had probably been sent out to die; that miss Kara Zor-El had shot him with a teaser weapon; that he had no idea what they had done to Kate; or the fact that he was starving and these people weren't exactly familiar with Human basic needs.

Sawyer sat on the floor and stretched to reach for a rock outside of his cage. When he finally grabbed the rock he placed it on one of the levers on the floor and threw his shoe at another lever. He pushed the button and it no longer electrocuted him. A cheesy carnival like congratulatory song played through the speaker and a voice repeated "Reward."

Sawyer smiled with victory, he started to dance with the tune, only to get a disappointed look on his face when all that dropped down the chute was a large fish biscuit that Sawyer picked up. "Oh, come on, Unbelievable!" He cursed and a pile of food pellets dropped down the chute next as Sawyer bit the cracker, not really pleased with his meal. Water started coming out of a pipe. He got to his knees and drunk away his thirst.

"Keep moving!" Sawyer recognized the voice of the man who had took Karl and whose name he knew was Tom, Sawyer turned to find him escorting Kate inside the cage in front of his. Sawyer breathed relieved.

"Stick your arms out through the bars; I'll take off your cuffs," Tom told her and she obeyed, "they scratched you up pretty bad, didn't they? I'll bring you some anti-septic later."

"How about you bring me an ottoman?" Sawyer said trying to get the man's attention, "while you're at it I could use a blow dry." Tom turned away from Kate and made his way towards Sawyer's cage.

"Hey, you got yourself a fish biscuit. How'd you do that?" Tom asked his voice was sweet, carrying and somewhat patronizing, as if he was talking to a kid.

"I figured out your complicated gizmos, that's how."

"Only took the bears 2 hours," Tom teased and left.

"How many of them were there?" Sawyer screamed at his retreating figure, after getting no answers he turned to Kate, she had a lost look on her face. "You okay, Freckles?"

For a moment she seemed to hesitate, maybe reliving the hell she had been put through before they brought her to her cage. Sawyer didn't know, all that matter was that the look on her face made his heart beat faster. She tried so hard not to show that she was weak, that she didn't need his concern.

"Yeah. You?" She asked back.

"Just swell. I requested that cage, but whatever." He joked, "nice dress!" He commented confused by the fact that last time he saw her she was wearing her usual outfit, khaki pants and thank top.

"They made me wear it," there was something hidden in the way she said that, maybe hurt, maybe fear. Sawyer couldn't quite place it.

"You hungry?" He asked and she nodded her head eagerly.

He tossed her his barely eaten fish biscuit, he could ways get another one. She took the biscuit in the air, he watched her eating it. She tried to hide it, but he could tell that she was crying. If she didn't want to talk to him about it there was nothing he could do to help her. But seeing Kate trying to deal with her demons alone was hurting Sawyer more than he cared to admit.

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Kate shook her head and started to dress herself up, she had to get out of there. Unfortunately for her, Sawyer had woken with her moving.

"Hey, where you going?" He asked with a hoarse voice

"I can't sleep if I'm not in my own tent," she lied!

"Fine, let's go to your tent," he said without a clue.

Kate buried her face in her hands, trying to think a way out of this without hurting Sawyer's feelings.

"Erm... It's nothing personal, it's just... old habits, you know?"

"Fine, scram." Sawyer finally took the hint and tried to use humor as a defense mechanism by pushing her of his blanket that he used as a bed. Kate laughed glad that he was ok with that. "You want me to walk you home?"

"It's five tents I think I'll make it." She also chose humor, not wanting to admit aloud that she just needed to be alone.

"Sure, I gotta pee anyway."

"That is so romantic." She smiled and kissed him before leaving. Sawyer followed her out, not before grabbing his gun and tucking it under his belt and jeans. When he got outside he saw Jin and Hurley outside another tent.

"What the hell are y'all doing?" Sawyer asked

"What the hell are you doing?" Hurley asked back looking nervous.

"Going to take a leak."

"Yeah well, so were we," Hurley still looked nervous

"Well alright then," Sawyer didn't care if they were keeping a secret, it was Hugo and Jin, what secret could they be keeping?

Sawyer walked to the trees away from the camp, he unzipped his pants preparing to alleviate himself when he heard a noise behind him. He reached for his gun and spun around point it randomly. John Locke finally revealed himself holding a torch.

"Hello James," he greeted, they stared at each other, Sawyer refused to lower the gun, "wanna zip your pants up?"

"The hell are you doing here?" He said after zipping up his pants.

"Looking for you actually."

"Ok, Tarzan, so now that you're back from your blow up everything that could get us off the Island tour, how bout you tell me why you joined up with the damn enemy."

"I didn't join them. I infiltrated them."

"You're undercover with the Others," Sawyer commented sarcastically.

"That's right," John confirmed.

"But how about you give me one reason to believe that?"

"Because a few hours ago I snuck into Ben's tent and kidnapped him. I tied him up, dragged him off into the jungle."

"And you came all the way back here to tell me this because...?" Sawyer asked still not believing.

"Because this is the same man who tortured you, beat you, humiliated you. And I want you, to kill him." They were in silence for a while.

"You want him dead, you kill him."

"I'm not a murderer," John stated.

"Neither am I!"

"Except for the man you killed in Sydney. They got files on us, James. All of us!"

"Yeah well their file's got their facts wrong."

"Then I made a mistake coming to you. Please don't tell anyone that I was here." John walked away leaving Sawyer alone.

"Hey stop," Sawyer ordered, but John kept moving, so he lifted up his gun again. "I said stop!" He yelled, but John still kept going. "Dammit! Wait up."

Sawyer followed unaware of John satisfied smile. They kept moving through the dark jungle and Sawyer couldn't believe he was actually doing this. What did he think he was doing? Did John really believe he was simply going kill Ben? Did John think he was that cold?

For one this gave Sawyer the opportunity to keep the promise he made to Kate, he was finally going to put his hand on not only one of them, but actually their leader! Sawyer hated that little man, Captain Bunny Killer! But the question was, did Kate deserve Sawyer kill someone for her?

Last night he thought they had crossed a bridge. She had even confessed what she had done to be wanted by an U.S. Marshall. He felt so sorry for her and he wouldn't think twice before killing Ben hadn't she tried to sneak out to her tent without even waking him. He couldn't deny that he was hurt when she wanted to be alone.

He had to admit he wasn't a man that fell in love, he always thought of women as means to an end, which was either pleasure or money. If Kate was using him to piss off Jack or just as a rebound thing, Sawyer should accept without complaining. But this island was changing him, making him a softie. He had even told Kate that he loved her.

Did he really love, Kate? He thought he had fallen in love once. Her name was Cassidy, he liked to call her Cass. He was supposed to use her for six hundred grands. But he loved spending time with her. She was sweet and innocent in her own way. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but she had something cute about her. Sawyer came dangerously close to give everything up and run away with her. But he didn't. He didn't because he didn't love her.

So the question still remained, when it would come the time for him to kill someone for Kate, would he do it? Was he really a murderer? Did he love her enough to kill for her? Was he really that bad?

He tried so hard to make people believe he was a bad person. Kate even asked him why he wants people to hate him so much. But Kate could see past his pretences. Or did she? After last night he started to doubt Kate's love for him. Sawyer constantly doubted it actually. She had never told him she indeed loved him. She told Danny Pickett she loved Sawyer just to stop Danny from killing him. And when Sawyer asked her about it, she didn't say anything.

So how could Sawyer be so sure Kate loved him? He was starting to believe she only liked him because he was bad. Somehow, because of all the shit she has been put through she wants to be in control of someone like him. She wants to be in control of a bad person, she wants to use someone that uses people. Who better than Sawyer?

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Jimmy was a 7 year old boy, he had blond hair and bright green eyes. His best friend Joey was smaller and chubbier with brown curly hair. They did everything together, and were always getting themselves in trouble. Once for stealing the answers of Mrs. Lane's test, once for playing hookie, and many other felons too many to mention.

Today they were in the mood to having some fun, Jimmy watched a bunch of girls of his class playing in the playground. Joey looked up at his partner waiting for his signal to attack, Jimmy smiled at him. They made their way toward to the girls.

One of them, Mary Anne, was redhead and always had piggy tails. Jimmy loved messing with her, she was fun to watch when she got mad. Mary was climbing the slider when Jimmy got behind her and pulled down her skirt, the girl screamed.

"I see London," Joey screamed pointing, "I see France, I see someone's underpants!"

Jimmy laughed evilly as children all over the playground started to point and laugh. Mary's cheeks turned bright red, she pulled her skirt up, but it didn't help to lessen the laughs, she started to cry embarrassed and ran to hide in the nearest ladies' restroom. One of Mary's friends Lucy came over and shoved Jimmy in her friend's defense.

She was really small, had long straight hair, so black it shined in the sun. She wore glasses and a girly dress. Jimmy laughed even harder because the girl wasn't strong enough to knock him off his feet.

"That's all you got, four eyes?" He asked still laughing

"Let's give her a wedgie?" Joey suggested excited

The girl ignored Joey's comment, she was still focused on the stupid bully in front of her, she wanted to make him stop laughing so badly. She gathered all her strength and shoved him one more time, the boy fell on his butt. The other kids, still watching the scene went wild laughing even harder than before.

"You're bad, Jimmy! I'm gonna tell Mrs. Lane!"

Jimmy stuck out his tongue, frowning and mad at Lucy for embarrassing him in front of everybody. She crossed her arms on her chess and walked away.

"Yeah, and you're a tattler!" He yelled at her retreating figure.

Hours later, Jimmy sat in the back seat of the truck as his parents rode in the front. Jimmy had been set to the principle office, they had called his parents and he had been suspended for two days because of his constant misbehavior. Jimmy watched in silence as his parents fought over whose fault it was that Jimmy was such a bad boy as his father drove them home.

The boy looked out the window, the trees passed by him in a fast pace as his parents kept on fighting, not an unusual episode. They were now trying to decide what to do with him since keeping Jimmy grounded wasn't really working anymore.

"This is all your fault," his father accused, "I think all he needs is for me spank some sense into his thickhead!"

"We are not animals," his mother protested, "I'm not gonna let you lay a finger on his hair."

"If it wasn't for you, I would've showed him the back of my hand a long time ago." His mother didn't answer, "That's your problem, you're too softie! His birthday is coming up soon, I bet you're going to buy him the most expensive present he wants."

"If you take Sawyer's deal, we will have enough money to buy Jimmy all the presents in the world."

"You always find a way to bring this Sawyer up, I don't think it's a good idea giving this guy all our money…" he shook his head.

"It's a great idea!" His mother insisted.

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Sawyer should have figured that Locke was up to something. He shouldn't have trusted him, and yet he did. Now Sawyer was locked inside a room in a brig that was stuck in the middle of the jungle, with a man he didn't even know tied up to a chair with gag on his mouth while Locke sat idly guarding the door waiting for something to happen.

"Locke! Open this damn door! Open it up! I can hear you, you bald bastard!" Sawyer yelled, he knocked on the door and yelled some more to no avail. "Open this damn door! Son of a bitch!!" The man behind him kept on shouting through his gag, so Sawyer took it off. He held his finger to signal for him to be quiet then turned and pointed the gun at the door. "I'm pointing my gun at you John-boy. You got three seconds to open this door."

"You're not gonna shoot anyone, James." John replied

"One! Two!" Sawyer begun to count

"If there were any bullets in that gun, why would you hold a knife to my throat?"

"Ah! Son of a bitch!!" Sawyer cursed

"Guess I didn't raise no dummies," the man spoke for the first time.

"The hell's that mean?" Sawyer inquired

"It means that the bald headed bastard outside the door is my son."

"Come again?"

"My son. As in I'm his father. You do speak English?"

Sawyer mumbled something under his breath, "how did you get here, to the Island?"

"Island?" The man asked ironic, "ok, I'm driving down through Tallahassee when bam, somebody slams into the back of my car. I go right into the divider at seventy miles an hour, the next thing I know, the paramedics are strapping me to a gurney, stuffing me into the back of an ambulance and one of them actually smiles at me as he pops the IV in my arm. And then, nothing. Just, black. And the next thing I know I wake up in a dark room tied up, gag in my mouth, and when the door opens, I'm looking up at the same man I threw out a window, John Locke. My dead son!" The man finished his story and Sawyer thought for a while.

"And he's dead 'cause you threw him out a window?"

"No he survived that. But it paralyzed him, permanently. He's dead because the plane he was flying on crashed in the Pacific." The man explained

"Well I got bad news for ya pops, cause I was on that plane with your son. He sure as hell wasn't crippled. And we didn't crash in the Pacific, we crashed here on this Island."

"You sure it's an Island?" He asked intriguing Sawyer.

"Well what else is it?"

"Little hot for heaven isn't it?"

"Oh, ok, so we're dead?" Sawyer asked sarcastically by the crazy comment.

"They found your plane on the bottom of the ocean. One minute I'm in a car wreck and the next minute I'm in a pirate ship in the middle of the jungle. If this isn't hell friend, then where are we?" The man asked the question that Sawyer and pretty much all the castaways, except for John Locke, had been asking every since the crash.

"Why did you throw Locke out a window?" Sawyer tried to change the subject.

"He was becoming a nuisance. I conned him into giving me one of his kidneys. He never got over it." Sawyer was intrigued by his use of the verb con.

"Conned?" Sawyer asked

"Yes sir, conned…"

"What's your name?"

"Hmm?" The man asked confused

"Your name," Sawyer repeated irritated.

"A conman goes by many names friend. I've been Alan Seward, Anthony Cooper, Ted MacLaren, Tom Sawyer, Louis Jackson, and Paul..."

"Tom Sawyer!" Sawyer stressed the name

"I was young and Huck Finn was taken. And the ladies loved that one. Made me charming."

"Well how about that,"

"How about what?" The man asked.

"Sawyer's my name too."

Sawyer stared at man for a long time. This was the man whom he had searched for his whole damn life. And who would ever say that he would find him here on this mystery island. Sawyer felt lots of things, and all those feelings were showing up on his face.

"What's the matter with you?" The man finally asked

"You ever been to Jasper, Alabama?"

"Why?"

"Have you or haven't you?" Sawyer repeated annoyed.

"Yeah I've been to Jasper. Don't tell me I'm your daddy?" He asked sarcastically.

"No. You killed my daddy!" Sawyer accused

Sawyer reached for the letter on his pocket, the one he had written on his mother and father's funeral. Sawyer felt relieved when he gave the letter to the one it was addressed.

"Read it!" Sawyer demanded

"'Dear Mr. Sawyer,' what is this?" he begun to read, but stopped.

"Just read it!" Sawyer insisted.

"'You don't know who I am, but I know who you are. And I know what you done. You had sex with my mother, and then you stole my dad's money all away, so he got angry and he killed my mother, and then he killed himself' blah blah blah blah." The man stopped reading and turned to Sawyer. "So what? Is this supposed to be you, you wrote this letter? Hey wait a second. Did you take my name because you were on some kind of revenge kick?"

"Keep reading!"

"Easy, easy, don't get all worked up. Look, I ran that con two dozen times. If your mother was one of the..."

"Mary. Her name was Mary!"

"Mary from Jasper, Alabama. Yeah, I remember her. She practically begged me to take her thirty-eight thousand dollars and to rescue her from her sorry little life."

"You finish the letter," Sawyer insisted almost crying.

"Look, I only took her money. It ain't my fault your dad overreacted. If he pulled the old murder suicide then I'm sure he's down here somewhere. Er, maybe you could take this up with him..."

"FINISH IT!!!" Sawyer shouted.

"Ok, ok," the man made as if he was going to keep reading the letter, but he ripped it into pieces.

Sawyer's anger reached its top when he saw the only letter he had ever written being torn to pieces by the man he hated the most. Sawyer attacked him, choking him with the chains he picked around the room.

"You wanna go to hell?" Sawyer asked as the man struggled to breathe, "you wanna go to hell!!" He repeated and held the chains tighter around the man's neck until he finally choked and stopped moving.

Sawyer let him go and what he had just done hit him full force. The door opened and John Locke entered the room.

"Thank you," was all Locke said.

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Jimmy was sound asleep on his bed, the last few weeks had been crazy, her mother explained to him everything that had happened, she wanted him to understand. First they had moved to his grandparents' house, because his parents were getting a divorce. Two days ago, they moved back home because her mother got the house. Jimmy didn't care he was just glad he was home.

Jimmy heard the sound of pounding on a door and then he felt his mother shaking him awake.

"Wake up! He's here!" Jimmy opened his eyes to look at his mother with sleepy eyes. "C'mon, got to get you up. He'll think you're still with your grandparents, okay? Get under the bed. Let's go. Okay." His mother held his head protectively, "listen to mommy, this is really important. Get under the bed, don't make a sound. Don't come out, no matter what happens. Don't come out, okay?"

"Okay," he answered, sleep still apparent on his voice.

"I love you!" She hugged him

"I love you too, mommy," he mumble.

"Let's go. Down you go," she helped him get under the door.

"Open this door!" Jimmy recognized his father's shouting.

"Stop it. Please stop it. Go away. Stop it!" His mother pleaded, there was a noise of a door being broken. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Jimmy tried to understand what was happening, but he couldn't see anything from his position. "I'm calling the police, get out of here. What are you doing? What the hell are you doing with a gun, get out of..."

Jimmy was startled by the loud sound of gunshot, he then heard what he could only assume was his mother's body falling to the floor. Jimmy was fully awake now, he shook with fear as the only thing he could see from under the bed was his father's boots approaching. His father walked slowly toward him and stopped when he was close enough, he sat on the bed. Jimmy tried to hold his breath afraid his father would hear him. But soon there was another shot.

The boy closed his eyes, his little heart was beating fast and desperately, he had never felt so scared his entire life. For a good amount of time Jimmy stood under the bed, with his eyes shut silently praying for someone to come rescue him. But he knew no one would come so soon. He started to count aloud, one, two, three, four, when he reached five he opened his eyes.

He could still see his father's boots, they were motionless. Jimmy crawled carefully not to touch his father. He got to his feet and refused to look at his bed, he went into the living room, he saw his mother body lying lifeless on the floor, he came closer, her eyes were open, he bent over to close them. Her skin was still hot but the blood on the floor next to her didn't fool him, she was dead, he knew it.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to hold her, but then he heard something. He focused to find out what it was, the noise was heard again, and this time Jimmy knew it was coming from his bedroom. The little boy didn't think twice and ran out of the broken door. It was raining heavily outside, but Jimmy didn't dare to go back.

He ran toward the big red barn, he didn't know where to go, he just wanted to get away, he didn't look back. His pajamas clung to his skin it was damp with water. His eyes adjusted quickly to dark. When Jimmy arrived at the barn it was locked. The boy was furious with frustration when he heard a horse neighing behind.

Jimmy turned around to face a big Georgian Grande, his black coat fading into the darkness, the boy recognized the stallion, because that was his own horse. His name was Pourquoi Pas, his father found him walking around the farm one day, they tried to train him, but the only person who could ever get near him without him getting mad was Jimmy.

His father said the horse was no use so Jimmy asked if he could keep him, "why not?" He remembered his father saying, "as long as you don't try to ride him!" Jimmy was thrilled and named the stallion Pourquoi Pas, meaning of Why Not in French. The boy had picked up some words after years of his grandmother trying to teach him French.

Pourquoi Pas was his best friend, Jimmy would sneak in the middle of the night to visit him on the barn just because he missed him.

"What are you doing out here, Pourquoi Pas?" Jimmy asked and the horse just neighed swinging his head up and down.

Jimmy heard another noise and was sure it came from the house. He looked around nervously, he needed to get out of there, and then he saw it. In a puddle on the floor he found an old rope halter. He picked it up as Pourquoi Pas neighed again, the horse came trotting towards him, stopping in front of him.

"Why not?" Jimmy said picking the rope halter and putting it on Pourquoi Pas.

The boy jumped and mounted the horse that didn't even mind him, Jimmy commended the horse to go, and Porquoi Pas galloped them to the nearest farm house. Jimmy knocked on their door, it took a while for someone to answer, all the lights were off. Pourquoi Pas waited with him until the door opened.

An old man looked down at the dripping wet boy on his porch. "Who is there, honey?" Came a woman's voice from inside the house.

"It's the Ford's boy," the old man answered, "how did you get here, boy?"

"I came on horseback," Jimmy pointed on the direction of Pourquoi Pas.

"There's no horse there, son!" The man's voice told Jimmy what he was seeing with his own eyes.

Pourquoi Pas was gone and Jimmy had never seen him since then.

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Sawyer spent his whole life believing that once he revenged his parents' death he would finally be freed of his constant anger. Soon after the man was dead on his hands he realized that things weren't that simple.

He first felt empty. Maybe because all his anger had died along with the man, but soon he started regret what he had done. Who was Sawyer to decide that the man deserved to die if the reason why he didn't want people calling him by his real name was because he felt like a Sawyer?! Because he had become a Sawyer! And if that was the case, shouldn't he have killed himself as well? Assuming he had become the man he was hunting, the man he had killed.

Sawyer stared at John, the tears on his eyes where the result of the repressed feelings he had hidden inside his heart for all these years. And in front of him stood this man whose father he had just killed, but he was looking back at him as if Sawyer had just made him a favor. Sawyer was disturbed by everything. It was like the word was spinning around him, but not in a good way.

He made it past John and out of the black rock, once back outside he knew that things had changed completely because even the air around him seemed different. He walked trying to get away, but his legs felt weak and he crumbled to the ground. And soon he didn't feel empty anymore, he felt full.

Full of regret and guilty, it felt like he was going to explode his head throbbed. All those feeling begun to make its way out of him somehow so he bent over and emptied his stomach.

"You can go back now," John told him

"Why did you do this?" He asked stunned by how the man was acting as if nothing had happened.

"He ruined my life. And he ruined yours. And he had it coming," Locke explained.

Of course John Locke didn't feel a hint of guilt, it wasn't him that chocked the life out of another man. He wasn't a murder, he had said so himself. But apparently Sawyer was, and had been for three times now. He had taken three lives now!

"Juliet is a mole," John said.

"What?" Sawyer asked confused at the sudden change of subject.

"She's working for Ben. He sent her back to find out which of our women were pregnant. Three days from now, there's gonna be a raid on the beach and they're gonna take them. They say they don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"So you can warn the camp."

"You warn the camp," Sawyer repeated.

"I'm not going back."

"You're going back undercover?"

"No I was never undercover, James. I'm on my own journey now!"

"Even if Juliet is a mole," Sawyer begun back at his normal self, "they ain't gonna believe me, I been saying that since she showed up..." Locke gave him a tape recorder.

"They'll believe you now," he said and begun to leave.

"Hey. Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"That he threw you out a window? That you were a cripple?"

"Not anymore!" He said then left.

Sawyer held the recorder tight in his hand, and headed back to the beach camp. His bare feet weren't bothering him anymore. Because all he could think about was that man, and his indifferent tone when Sawyer told him he had killed his parents. Sawyer still could hear the sound of his letter being ripped.

But the thing that bothered him the most was the sound of the man gasping for air, Sawyer could still feel him struggling in his arms, struggling to breath. He thought about what he had asked himself earlier.

When it would come the time for him to kill someone for Kate, would he do it? Was he really a murderer? Did he love her enough to kill for her? Was he really that bad? And the answer was in the tip of his tongue. Yes, he was really that bad. The next time he was face to face with one of the Others he wouldn't hesitate to kill, because he was really that bad.

And John Locke here was saying Juliet was mole, maybe she was the next person to die on his hands, Sawyer thought looking at the tape recorder in his hand. He pressed the play bottom and Juliet's voice filled the silence of the jungle.

"Ben, its 06:00 a.m. on Saturday morning. Kwon is pregnant, the fetus is healthy and was conceived on-Island with her husband, he was sterile before they got here. I'm still working on getting samples from the other women, I should have Austen's soon. I'll report back when I know more."

"Well, well, well, Juliet…" Sawyer said aloud, "you better hope your Dr. Romeo is with you next time we meet." He stopped and frowned, "Because I swear to God, if Jack doesn't stop me I'll kill you!"

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Jimmy was playing backgammon with his therapist, his uncle thought that it was a good idea, that the woman was nice and he could talk to her about anything. This was the second time he had visited her, and so far they had played, talked and draw some pictures. Jimmy didn't really understand the importance of this. He could do it anyplace else. But his uncle was in charge now, and Jimmy respected him.

"Jimmy, I want to talk to you about the picture you painted on our last session." She said taking the picture out of a folder and putting it on the table.

On the white sheet there was two stick figures draw with black crayon, one was big and the other was little. Jimmy looked at the picture and then at his therapist.

"Who are those in the picture?" She asked

"This is me," Jimmy pointed at the smaller figure, "and this is Sawyer."

"Who is Sawyer, Jimmy? Your daddy?"

"No, Sawyer is the man who had sex with my mom and stole my dad's money. Because of him my dad killed my mother and then killed himself." Jimmy told her matter-of-factly. The woman took a long breathe and wrote something down her notebook.

"Do you even know what having sex mean, Jimmy?"

"It's what a mother and a father do in the bedroom when they take their clothes off," he told her, "and you are not supposed to do it with another person!" There was a hint of resentment on the young man's voice.

"Do you blame your mother for cheating on your father?" She asked and Jimmy shook his head, "do blame your father for killing your mother and then himself." Again the boy shook his head.

"No, it's all Sawyers fault!"

"Is that why you drew a picture of him?" The boy nodded. "Do you hate him?" He nodded again, "why are you in this picture, Jimmy?"

"Because I'm a bad boy, because my parents didn't love each other because I was a bad boy. It's my fault they left me, because I'm bad just like Sawyer!" Jimmy told her frowning overwhelmed with hate.

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Things weren't going exactly according to plan, Sawyer thought as he walked up the hill. He arrived at the beach ready to expose Juliet when everything turned upside down again. The little blue eyed minx named Juliet must had foreseen that Locke would put his hands on the tape so she went to Jack and confessed that she was there undercover for the others before the tape leaked.

The stupid Jackass fell for her sweet fairy tale story that she was innocent and was being forced to do so. Now Jack was still protecting that woman and even had a crazy plan ready for when the others attacked. Jack had always had to be a wiseass, hadn't he? Of course, his little perfect plan had to be shut down by the earlier arrival of the Others.

And now Sawyer was getting a kick out of seeing Jack's frustrated look as they made their way up to the Radio Tower. Jack was frustrated because:

One, there was this Naomi chick, the one that Jin and Hurley were hiding in a tent. She had parachuted into the island and claimed that there was a rescue boat a few of miles offshore waiting for Naomi to make a call so they could come rescue everyone and save the day. The problem was that her sophisticated satellite phone wasn't sending out any signals because there was this supposedly flooded underwater station that was blocking any signals out of the island. So Jack was pissed that he had to send Charlie and Desmond on a suicide mission to try and deactivate it.

Tow, Jack got mad because with the earlier arrival of the others he didn't have time to set up the dynamite properly and blow the camp from a distance. So he was forced to leave Sayid, Jin and Bernard behind to blow the dynamite using only guns.

Three, Jack was also a little frustrated because Sayid didn't let him stay behind. Sayid told Jack that he needed to lead the people to the Radio Tower to eliminate Rousseau's distress signal that had been playing for sixteen years. Because that was Jack's job, he was their leader, and that's how Sawyer ended up walking up to the Radio Tower.

Boy, things happened fast on the island when you were busy murdering the man whom you had hated for most of your life. But the thing that was really worrying not only Jack, but everyone in the group, including Sawyer was that there had been only two explosions when there was supposed to be three!

The group finally decided to take a break when they reached a stream, Sawyer was colleting some water when Kate stopped in front of him.

"Something's wrong!" She said

"Lots of things are wrong, Kate."

"Jin, Bernard and Sayid, they should have caught up to us by now. I wanna go back to make sure they're all right."

"Course you do," he said with an ironic tone

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Kate, there's always someone to go back for."

"What's the matter with you?" She asked finally noticing that he had been acting really weird since he had got that tape recorder, which Sawyer hadn't told her the whole story yet of why it had took him a whole day to get a simple tape.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" She asked sarcastically

"I'm fine."

"Why don't you just tell me what happened?" Sawyer didn't answer so she splashed him with water playfully.

"What you do that for?" He asked annoyed.

"To wake you up! Ever since you got that tape from Locke it's like you've been sleepwalking. You don't care about our friends, fine, but it's like you don't care about anything anymore. And since when did you start calling me Kate?" They were silent, there was something Kate had been meaning to talk to him. "You know. They sent Juliet to check out Sun, but she was there to check and see if I'm pregnant too."

"Well let's hope you're not!" He said coldly leaving her behind, he didn't care if he hurt her, she didn't deserve him.

Sawyer passes by Jack and gave him a brief, but chilly look. There were so many things that he'd like to tell him. Jack kept protecting Juliet even after discovering that she was working undercover for the Others. But what pained Sawyer the most was that Kate didn't care! If Jack thought Juliet was safe, then Kate believed him.

Has Kate forgotten what the Others had done to her? He didn't think so, because a couple of nights ago he was holding a distressed Kate into his arms. Has Kate perhaps forgotten that Juliet had pointed a gun at her and would not hesitate before shooting? Then why? Why after Sawyer has proved to her that Juliet couldn't be trusted did Kate still prefer to go along with Jack's perfect plan?

Maybe Sawyer was just fooling himself and Kate didn't really love him. Maybe she was just sleeping with because inside her little messed up mind she wants Jack to come riding in a white horse dressed up in a shiny armor and save her from her relationship with Sawyer. Because that's what Sawyer was. He was just bad news!

After walking for a good time trying to decide if he was such a bad person that Kate didn't deserve him; or if Kate was just trying to use him and therefore he didn't deserve her. Sawyer realized that the answer was simple. They shouldn't be together either way. And he didn't want to be anywhere near her. He was going to do something better with his time.

"I'm going back," Sawyer announced

"What?" Jack asked stopping to face him.

"I'm going back to the beach," Sawyer explained.

"No way! We keep moving!" Jack said

"I ain't asking permission," Sawyer said and now Juliet and Kate had also stopped. "Look you got a job to do here. I ain't gonna stand in your way of doing it. And you sure as hell don't need me."

"What do you think you're gonna get done? Alone and unarmed!"

"He won't be alone, I'll go with him," Kate entered the conversation.

"No!" Sawyer said sternly.

"Twenty minutes ago you weren't even interested in going, and now all of a sudden you're telling Jack I'm..."

"I didn't wanna go with you."

"Sawyer, it's a suicide mission without guns." Jack begun

"I know where there are some guns." Juliet interrupted, "there's a hidden cache a couple of miles from here. I can take us back to the beach on a route past it."

"Juliet, you don't have to do that." Jack told her

"Yeah, Jack, I kinda do!"

"Let's do this," Sawyer said leaving, but still paying attention to the conversation.

"Don't do anything stupid!" Jack told her

"I won't if you won't," Juliet said and kissed him. Kate watched them, Sawyer looked behind for a brief moment and saw the look on Kate's face. "Don't wait up." Juliet told Jack and then finally reached Sawyer.

Sawyer walked in silence thinking about the hurt look on Kate's face. Was she hurt because he said he didn't want her to go with him? Or was she hurt because Doc and Doc 'were sitting on a tree'? He didn't know, and he didn't want to care.

Juliet was walking beside him now, he had the perfect chance to kill her and yet he didn't want to. No, he didn't, he wanted to find more about her. When he was hating Juliet from afar she was in his eyes a manipulative shrew. But now that he was near her she had this calming aura that seemed to soothe him. He wanted to know more about her.

"So, when you pulled us out of those polar bear cages and put us on the chain gang, what the hell you have us breaking all those rocks for anyway?" He asked her

"We were building a runway."

"Runway, for what?"

She looked at his face with a hard to read expression and said, "the aliens!" She smirked at his dumb expression, "I don't know what for, do you think they told me everything?"

"Yeah yeah, whatever you say," he didn't want to admit that he found her amusingly ease to talk to, "so you screwing Jack yet?"

"No. Are you?" Sawyer couldn't help, but chuckle, he was warming up to her already.

"How far away are these guns?"

"There aren't any guns," she told him and he grabbed her arm starting to get annoyed again.

"What?"

"I lied," she said simply.

"You lied?"

"It was the only way he'd let us go back," she explained.

"So why are you going back?" He asked

"Karma," she answered, "why are you going back, James?"

'Karma,' he wanted to reply, but then they heard Hurley shouting. "Hey! Hey guys, wait up!"

"What the hell do you want?" Sawyer asked still annoyed.

"I'm coming with you guys."

"Uh uh, no way. Not a chance," Sawyer told him.

"Come on, I can help," Hurley begun, "they're my friends too, man. Look, Charlie wouldn't let me go with him, Jack's too busy leading to even talk to me. I just wanna help, please?

"For God's sake, Hugo, look at you." Sawyer said referring to his overweight size, he didn't want to hurt Hurley's feeling, but he also didn't want him to get hurt! "You're just gonna get in the way. You wanna get us killed?" Sawyer turned to Juliet, "come on!"

Juliet followed Sawyer, but she looked apologetically at Hurley. She liked Hurley, he was the first one to talk to her when she arrived at their camp. But she knew that if Hurley really wanted to help, he would find a way.

----------------------

He remembered when it all begun. His uncle had gotten sick, brain tumor, and was about to lose the farm. So James, now 19 years old, got involved with some drug dealers. James got money to help his uncle and in the process he got himself a six thousand dollar debt to pay off. That had not been the right thing to do, but he was in trouble and that's when he met her.

He was in bar. Her name was Lisa, she made the first move, told him she just wanted something stupid to forget her hell of a marriage. They got to talking over booze, she told him she had got married too soon with a guy twice her age, just because he had some money and she wanted to live a luxurious life.

She was hot and good looking, he was young and reckless, he didn't care, soon they were going at it in a cheap motel room. She liked him, of course she did. He had no problems satisfying a woman. She confessed that she wanted this forever, she hated that she had to go back and face that jerk of a husband.

"Why don't you run away with me?" He had suggested, "It will be easy, you tell your husband I'm an investor, and that I'll triple his money. When he gives us his money we'll run away together!"

She was thrilled by the idea, and her dumb husband was thrilled by the prospect of tripling his money. What neither of them knew was that the guy, who showed Lisa a good time and promised her husband lots of money, was going to get the money and never come back.

"It's all there, six grands!" James told one of the drug dealers who started to count the money.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you James," he said still counting.

"James is dead… Call me Sawyer!" Sawyer left him to count, and with the rest of the money he got from his first con he used to leave Alabama for good.

----------------------

As Sawyer and Juliet approach the beach they heard Tom argue with another Other.

"It was an order, Tom, we had to follow it."

"Ben doesn't know what the hell he's talking about, he's lost it! I mean look at what they did to us. Instead of putting three bullets in the damned sand, we should have killed them for real."

Sawyer watched a little away from the scene, they could see that Sayid, Jin and Bernard were tied up with a third Other pointing a gun at them. Juliet was by his side, she was so close he could smell her sent, she smelled good with a hint of ocean to it. It was hard for him to focus when she was so close. He decided to talk.

"All they got left is three guys and four guns," Sawyer said.

"And all we've got, James, are two people and no guns!" She pointed out.

"So we'll wait till night."

"That isn't going to change the fact that we're unarmed, if you wanna kill yourself, fine, but before you go I can try..."

"Shh! You hear that?"

There was a humming sound that sounded much like a car, a car in the middle of the jungle? Sawyer and Juliet turned to see as a Dharma van drove right by them. Hurley was in the front seat driving it through a tent and straight towards Ryan and Tom. Tom dove out of the way while Ryan shot at Hurley.

Ryan missed, of course, and Hurley rode past him, Hurley broke the van and started to get out. Sawyer stopped him though, pushing the car door shut. Hurley exclaimed and Sawyer told him, "stay in the bus, Hugo!" Sawyer looked around and found Ryan's gun lying on the ground, he grabbed it and jumped out to stop in front of the Other who was holding his friends at gun point.

Sayid took advantage of the moment and kicked the man, knocking him down before he could fire at Sawyer. Sayid then wrapped his legs round his neck, breaking it. The man fell dead on the floor. Jin, Bernard and Sawyer looked stunned at Sayid who nodded at Sawyer for him to go on.

Tom crawled to an unattended gun on the ground, but to his surprise, Juliet grabbed it first and stepped on his hand, causing him to cry out with pain.

"Stay right there, Tom." She told him, pointing the gun at him.

"Ok, I give up!" Tom told Sawyer

Sawyer just looked at him for a moment. He still had his gun pointed at Tom. He thought about the promise he made to Kate. He thought about how easy it would be to kill him. But he decided that Kate wasn't worth this. Sawyer finally pulled the trigger, shooting Tom in the chest, he surprised Juliet.

"That's for taking the kid off the raft!" Sawyer told Tom as the life left his body. No, he hadn't killed him for Kate. He did it because the stupid bastard was a kidnapper!

"Dude it was over, he surrendered," Hurley told him surprised.

"I didn't believe him!" Sawyer explained

After the moment was gone, they untied Sayid, Jin and Bernard. Hurley was so excited that he had saved them all, so he used the Other's walkie-talkie to tell Jack the good news. Apparently, Ben had tricked Jack into believing that Tom had shoot Sayid, Jin and Bernard to death, so Jack was thrilled when told otherwise.

Sawyer didn't feel bad about shooting Tom, he was intrigued by the surprise look on Juliet's face when he did. This woman was a puzzle to him, she was stern and strong, he had seen her shooting a man to death without hesitating. Why was she so surprised when he did the same? Perhaps she thought he wasn't capable of cold blood murder.

"Hey, Sayid," Sawyer called to him, Sayid noticed Sawyer focus on Juliet who was a little distant talking to Hurley. "You trust her already?"

Sayid looked at her for a moment, Juliet was laughing, Hurley was hugging her, pulling her off her feet with his embrace. She looked at their direction, noticing that both men had their eyes on her. She tried to pretend she didn't noticed and they pretended not to be looking.

"I don't know," Sayid said looking at Sawyer, "she is either better at manipulating people than Ben is, or we are such bad people we can't even recognize a good person when she is right in front of us."

Sawyer nodded, he felt the need to be alone with his thoughts. He set on the floor looking at the ocean, watching the waves go by. He notices when she got near him, sitting beside him, he wanted to talk, to say something, but nothing came out.

"Why did you kill, Tom?" She asked him

He turned to face her, he was frowning his face as usual. "Remember the day Claire got sick?" Juliet nodded in agreement, "that day you told me you knew about the guy I had shot in cold blood the night before I got on the plane that crashed on this island. Well, that's the kind of guy I am!" He looked back at the ocean.

She did the same, "you know, James. That same day I told your camp that Claire was having late reaction to the medication I had designed and had prescribed to her when we had kidnapped her back when she was pregnant. Well, I lied!" Sawyer looked at her suddenly interested to hear the end of the story. "I haven't designed any medication, Ethan implanted her with a virus which Ben only activated when he left me behind. I put up a show so that some of your people would begin to trust me!"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"For you to understand that I am just as good at coning people as you are."

"I don't believe you, I think you're telling me this because you feel guilty."

"Well, that's what you think." She told him with a flash of a smile that was hard to read. "And I think…" She added as an extra thought, "That you say you are the kind of person who kills at cold blood so that people will hate you because that's how you feel inside. You're dying with guilty just as I am!" She confessed, they stared at each other trying to make the truth out of the lies. She got up, cleaning the sand off her backside. He stared up at her. "Let's make a pact?" She suggested

"Shoot…"

"Are you a bad person, James?" He looked at her confuse, "The day you come to me and answer me that question, I'll tell you what side I'm actually on." She smiled again, "see you later, James!" She said and walk back at the camp.

"See you later, Blondie!" He said to no one at all with a curious smile on his face.

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Author's Note: The horse in which Sawyer rode to the neighbors' house is the same horse that helped Kate escape. I just thought it was a nice touch to throw in, very creepy and something you would probably see in Lost.

I got the idea for this when I read someone's theory that Vincent was the same retriever that appeared to John's foster mother when his sister died. Then I watched the episode 2.09 - What Kate Did, and it looked like Sawyer knew Kate's horse, which explains his amusement when he asks her, "do you know this horse, Freckles?" So I figured, John told that story to Kate and Sawyer because those two had an especial relationship with a certain horse, just like John and Walt have an especial relationship with a certain dog. Plus Vincent is light and Kate's horse is dark, and this is a lost fanfiction, let's get Lost!!! =]

Still on the horse black subject, I actually met a black horse once named Pourquoi Pas, it was my friend's, he was a Thoroughbred, that's where I got the inspiration for the name.

I think that when little Sawyer begun to count to five, when he was under the bed and his father had just killed himself was a nice Lost reference.

Oh, and I guess that killing someone in each chapter has become kind of a routine. Jack's chapter is coming up next, maybe I don't kill anyone then. Who knows? ***me rubs her hands together looking around wicked evilly!***