A/N Two chapters today, because I'm not 100% happy with chapter four here. You'll notice one of the themes of the title starting to come up in these two chapters as well--the notion of a price being paid. Yay pretentiousness. :/
4. If Words Can Comfort
Diego Garcia
Sideswipe figured anyone walking by would think he was insane. He didn't care. He talked to the CR pod anyway, the same way he's spent—oh how many cycles?—talking to Sunstreaker in his stasis. Maybe it was ridiculous. Maybe Cliffjumper couldn't hear him. Maybe Sunstreaker couldn't hear him. BUT, maybe they could. And if they could, on that off chance, they were going to damn sure know that Sideswipe didn't leave a buddy. He was right there beside them as they fought. A battle he couldn't help them fight, a battle against death, but he was there nonetheless, cheering them on. They'd know. If there was any justice in the universe, Sideswipe thought, they'd know. Someone missed them. Someone didn't forget.
"Been real quiet, CJ," he said. "Course we only got back a few solars ago. But the 'cons have been super quiet. Which is makin' me crazy, if you want to know. You know how I get when I'm cooped up for too long, right?" He paused, almost like he was expecting to hear Cliffjumper's answering laugh. "Gonna take a swing at Ironhide just to liven things up soon." He grinned.
"Still have the 'con. I know he's not the one who did this to you, but…close enough really, right? I mean, like there's any difference? All the same. All the enemy. Don't know what Optimus is going to do with him. I'm hoping he lets Prowl take a crack at him. Well, really I'd love to see Ironhide get a chance, but you know I hate an unfair fight. So…Prowl. I figure he's the best one to mess with Barricade's mind, you know? Love to see that. Bet you would too."
He shifted on the floor. The CR pod's stabilization routines cycled on again with a soft hum.
"Ratch says once you're stabilized he can start repairs for real. Already got most of your new face ready. Still ain't as pretty as me, though, but I guess by now you're used to that." Another grin. "So, your fraggin' job, because Sides doesn't like slackers, is to get yourself fraggin' stabilized. This ain't naptime, you know? War on, CJ. So get off your butt and get in gear so we can go back out there." He punched the pod playfully. "War may not need you, and Primus knows I don't need you, but…. I want my buddy back." His smile eroded. Lost two buddies now. Both his fault.
"Come on," he said, a hint of anger in his voice. "Fight for it, CJ."
"He is fighting,"
Sideswipe jumped off the floor, whirling. Since when anyone snuck up on him? He was losing his cool. Losing his touch. "Oh, hi, Flareup." He resheathed his blades. "What are you doing here?"
She gave her own embarrassed grin. "Just…Ratchet's letting me help out here, a bit, in Repair Bay. I need something to do." She jutted her chin at him, defiantly. "Therapy, you know. For what happened to me."
Sideswipe cocked his head. "You want to get in to see him, don't you?"
She blanched. "No!" she said, too hurriedly. "But I want to make sure that, you know, he's safe."
Sideswipe leaned against CJ's pod, as if protecting it with his frame. He thought back to what he'd said to the pod—how much had Flareup overheard? "Look, Flareup, I'm not a smart guy. I know that, all right? So I don't know what all went on up there. If you say he was nice to you, then what can I say against that? I wasn't there. But I was there at Tunguska. I saw him attack you."
"He'd dropped his weapon. If he wanted to hurt me, he could have shot me. He jumped at me to warn me."
"Hell of a warning, Flareup."
"Hell of a warning that we're about to get nuked? Damn straight, Sideswipe." Her red optic seemed to glow brighter.
"Yeah, okay," Sideswipe said, backing down, looking over his shoulder at Cliffjumper's pod. Didn't seem right to fight amongst themselves when CJ was there fighting for his spark. Tactical retreat, and regroup, he thought. "You're right about Ironhide, though. That's who you were thinking about, right? About him not being 'safe'?"
She dropped her eyes. "Yes. I know it's awful, but I think sometimes he loses control of himself. I worry about him. One day, you know, he might lose it so much…we never get him back."
Sideswipe shot another look at the pod. "Yeah," he swallowed, hard, around a lump of tension. "Or we could lose someone else."
Flareup rolled closer, "Sideswipe, Cliffjumper's injuries aren't your fault."
"Came to try to rescue me." Didn't need rescue. I was doing okay. I didn't need—I didn't need this to happen.
"You'd have done the same." She smiled, faintly.
"Yeah, but…."
"Would you endure what he's going through if it meant he was safe? Would you pay the same price?"
"Primus, Flareup, of course I would. You know that."
Her optics winked at him—the effect was still unsettling. "I know that, Sideswipe. Just wanted to remind you of it, too."
