Hey guys, I hope you are still enjoying the story so far and if not will leave a comment so I can fix stuff! For now it's looking like Lucy isn't going to end up with anyone, but that can change depending on what you guys want! I'll go for almost anything! (Note, I will turn down Sting x Lucy and Rouge x Lucy though, and Levy WILL end up with Gajeel if it works out in the story!)

In this chapter Lucy is arguing with herself a lot, so the italics will mostly be her inner voice/thought. It may get kind of weird and I'm sorry for any confusion. I didn't know how else to parts of this chapter though. Also, Luck Town is a place I made up so I could make it fir the story. I'll try not to make up new things, like characters or anything big like that, but some things I'll have to. So, I hope you enjoy this next chapter anyway and ones to come! If there are any mistakes, please tell me because I'm writing this at about 11 at night after a very long day. But any way, thanks for reading!

I still don't own Fairy Tail!

Chapter 4 – Am I Still Sane?

Recap:

We promised you we would have tea when you woke up, and here is our attempt at filing that promise. We love you – Your 3 sisters.

Lucy let out a small, happy giggle, and then poured herself a cup of tea. "I knew this was the right thing to do." She finally said to herself. Then, setting her teacup down, she took out a piece of paper and wrote what she needed to do. After she was finished, she put the small sheet of paper in front of her own seat. Then, she walked out of the kitchen and up the flight of stairs leading to the second floor and into her bedroom. She quickly changed into simple pajamas, crawled into bed, and fell asleep quickly.

"Wendy, Lisanna, and Mira. I vow I will never forget this love and kindness you have shared with me, and will fight every day of my life until we will be together. On my life, I swear to this, Lucy Trustblood." ~

Chapter 4: Am I Still Sane?

Lucy woke to the loud sound of nothing. Like every morning. It was always the same. Just her, the walls, and her pillow. But today the silence felt…different. How quiet could feel different Lucy had no idea. She was still trying to figure out how silence was loud. In the end she had just come to the conclusion that it just was, and that was that. However, today it was louder than usual as it spoke of something big that was going to happen. Stretching the sleep out of her tired body, Lucy groggily hopped out of bed and nearly tripped as she hopped into her shower. After she was out and fully dressed she walked down her stairs and into her kitchen. Seeing that the Tea set was still out, she ate her bowl of cereal at the breakfast bar. Then, as she began doing the little dishes she had, she began to think about everything that had happened last night. It hit her while she was scrubbing a fork clean that she was no longer apart of Fairy Tail. The serious realization settled in, and she almost dropped the piece of silver ware. However, she soon changed the subject in her mind. The new topic wasn't much better. For some reason as she tried to run away from the thought that she would have to leave the guild by the end of tomorrow she kept coming back to the thought that she had had when she was about to leave the hospital ward.

She was afraid of their forgiveness. That in itself didn't make any sense. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong, and yet it was them forgiving her. What was that all about?

"You know exactly what that's all about Lucy." Lucy's inner thoughts told her in a rough, no nonsense voice.

"You're afraid that you were the one that did something wrong. That you deserved their hatred. You were questioning yourself."

"No I wasn't. I know I did nothing wrong." Lucy mumbled to herself.

"Then why did you accept the fact that they would be forgiving you when you were standing there that day? You didn't even question the fact that you did nothing wrong. You just accepted it. What does that tell you?"

"That doesn't matter! I was just tired and not up for arguing with myself." She mumbled to the bowl she was scrubbing.

"Come on Lucy, when are you going to admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"That you may be part of the problem?"

"I don't have anything to admit! I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Then why do you keep arguing with yourself about it?"

"W-well…I…uhh…."

"You know deep down that this can't all be blamed on Fairy Tail. You know that you were weak, and you knew that you were dragging the team down. You even wrote about it in your novel. The main character is you Lucy, when are you going to realize that?"

"I am nothing like her! I wrote her to be weak and confused! Besides, what does my novel have to do with any of this!?"

"Please. Where do you think your ideas come from Lucy? She is you, but there is more than that. You knew all along that you were weak, and that you were running a high risk of being kicked off the team."

"Well I still don't see what that has to do with anything!"

"Are you really that deep in denial Lucy?" Her inner voice continued to question. "You were afraid that you were the one who was being the rude, evil one that day, and you know that to be true."

"No I do not!"

"Yes you do! You're thinking it right now!"

"S-stop. None of this was my fault.

"You were the one who walked away from Mira that day when you ran away on that S-Class mission. You were the one who made her angry! You were the one who caused her pain and misery while you were away! You're the one who angered Team Natsu to the point that you burnt your house down!"

"I said stop it!"

"This is all your fault! You made it look like you didn't care about the guild anymore! You were the one who started this whole thing! You are the one to blame for you're being kicked out of the guild! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"I SAID STOP IT!"

A large blast of dark and gold exploded from Lucy's mouth as she screamed in pain. The blast threw her onto the ground, causing something to pop. Opening her tear filled eyes, she looked up at her kitchen ceiling and saw as it began to crumble into flakes around her. She was right. She was afraid that she was the one who had really caused all this pain and misery, and now that she was faced with the thoughts she couldn't take it. She had gotten so wrapped up in her internal argument that she had completely let her magical energy explode inside her, resulting in the un-intentional damage done to her beautiful kitchen. However, in all this, all Lucy could think of was one thing.

"The tea set." She whispered hoarsely. Then, forcing herself to get up, she snapped her head over to her table. Or at least to the charred black spot that used to be where her table was.

"No." She cried quietly. She stumbled over to see if any of the tea set had escaped the blast. She only found a small, sharp fragment of a teacup. Everything was reduced to ashes or nothingness. Scooping up the small shard of porcelain, she clutched it to her chest and began to cry right there in the middle of the wreckage. So, she had finally confronted herself about one of the things that had been bothering her since the first moment she joined Team Natsu. If only she had shown the guild that she still loved them even if she was hurt at the moment instead of shutting them out. No wonder they treated her like they did. Hell, if she was in their position she would have done the same thing. Finally accepting this, Lucy sat in the ashes of her once dining room table and cried until she ran out of tears.

As she finished her sniffling Lucy stepped out of the ashes and shook the black soot off of her pink pajamas. You know what? She was sick of it. Sick of feeling like she was never good enough. Yes, Lucy Heartfilia was weak, but she was also long gone. No, now Lucy was Lucy Trustblood, a strong, independent young woman who could face her problems head on and accept them, and then fix them. Yes, she was part of this problem, so she was also going to be part of the solution. Still clutching the tiny fragment of the teacup, she left the mess behind as she walked up to her room and over to her bathroom. Picking up a small piece of cloth Lucy wrapped the shard delicately into its white, cushioned clutches. Then, she set it on her bedside table as she drug her suitcase out from under her bed.

Putting it on her bed so she could pack things, Lucy began to pull the little amount of clothing she had (most of it had burnt down in her old apartment) after her closet was empty and her suitcase half full, she opened the first drawer in her dresser and emptied all the socks, underwear (she gave up the frilly stuff. To uncomfortable when she was trying to behead a dark guild leader) and bra's (she did keep some of her old styles…) she moved onto the second drawer that held things like her bikini's and odd ball pieces of clothing she had collected on her missions. The last two drawers were just full of old junk she wasn't going to take with her. So, after emptying her dresser her suitcase was three-fourths full. She sighed, and moved onto her bathroom. Why did she own so much stuff and such a little suit case.

"Because you never thought you were going to be kicked out of the guild."

"Shut up right now. I'm so not in the mood for another one of our conversations!" Lucy snapped at her thoughts. This time it seemed to work since she didn't get a reply. Wait…what?

Shaking away the weirdness Lucy walked into her bathroom and opened her medicine cabinet. Seeing it jam-packed with stuff, she sighed as she began to take it all out and shove it into her suit case. She had only shoved in her cleanser and moisturizer and make up when she saw her suit case already about to explode, she about over did it when she shoved her shampoo, conditioner, and body wash inside as well. She could tell that she had reached the bags limit when she had to sit on it in order for it to close.

"Well, looks like I have to carry everything else in my purse and backpack." Lucy sighed as she ran down the stairs and to her coat closet in the living room. Swinging the doors open, she snatched the big, blue hiking backpack and her umbrella. Then she ran back to her room. Why she ran, she had no idea. Just felt like the thing to do.

As she threw both items onto her bed next to her suit case, she looked around her room one final time and saw that she had packed everything she wanted. Well, everything but her teacup shard. But that she was going to keep in her pocket at all times. So, picking the blue bag up again, she walked down the stairs and into her living room. She took down the few pictures she had and put then gently into her bag. Then, moving onto her fireplace she shoved the logs out of the pit and brushed the soot and ashes away. Then, with a gently hand, she lifted a loose tile and peered inside. It was stuffed full of cash, her novel, and a few pens. Scooping all of it out, she shoved it into the ugly bag. Then, sliding the tile back into place and putting the wood back, she walked into the kitchen. Opening her pantry, she took out a bag of chips and a small box of chocolates. She left everything else. Moving onto the fridge she packed three bottles of water. The first two to drink, and the other to freeze and play with on the train ride to where ever she was going. She was no longer having issues accepting she was leaving tonight. No, it seemed that after her huge mental argument she was now able to accept things how they were. And right now she was leaving Fairy Tail for what could be the rest of her life.

After she finished packing, she took a few stacks of hundreds out of the blue bag and put them in her pink and black purse. Satisfied with her packing, she left her bag on the breakfast bar and headed into the next room. The armory.

Inside this room was so much medal that it would make Gajeel cry. Swords, axes, a mace or two, knives. You name it, she has it. However, most of them were things she had and never would use, so she just picked out a few things. Metal plated gloved without fingers, three more knives that she could hide inside her cloths, a string of more knives she could line her jacket with, a pair of steal toed boots that were actually kind of cute, an extra bow with a set of two dozen arrows (half with tips and half without) and then a few poisend darts. She already had her keys and whip at her him, and her boy and sword hilt were now just a normal part of her outfit. But now she decked herself out in the items listed above so that by the end of it you couldn't give her a hug without being impaled six times all in different places.

"Why are you traveling so heavily armed!? You're acting like Erza!"

"Am not! I just want to be prepared…"

"Prepared for what!? The zombie apocalypse!?"

"Just shut up already."

Wait, did she just tell herself to shut up? This whole thing was making her loose her mind. After she finished arming herself she walked out of the room, and locked the door behind her. There were some seriously deadly things she didn't want anyone to find. She didn't like having them herself. Looking at the clock above her destroyed oven she saw that she had spent three hours packing, and one hour crying. It was now 12 o'clock, and she was already packed and ready to go.

"Well, it looks like I'm ready to go." Lucy spoke quietly. She looked at her house one last time before she sighed heavily, and walked out her front door with her suit case trailing behind her. She was now glad that the S-Class missions she had taken on made her stronger because her stupid backpack must have weight a solid ton with everything she had stuffed in there. Now outside her house, she looked at it one last time, and left it sleeping before she would begin crying. She had done enough of that in the last two days.

At The Train Station. It is now 2:00 p.m.

The station was as busy as ever as Lucy made her way through the thick crowd. Still unsure of where she was going to go, she walked up to the ticket booth and waited in the long line for what must have been half an hour. Finally at the window, she saw a happy woman with green and purple hair smiling at her.

"Hello! And where is it you would like to go today?" She asked brightly. Lucy shrugged.

"Actually, do you have any recommendations?" She asked the nice looking lady. Her smile fell as she assumed an expression showing she was deep in thought.

"Well, I hear Luck Town is a fun place to live." She replied with her smile. Lucy returned it with her own beaming smile, and nodded.

"Then I would like one ticked to Luck Town please!" Lucy chirped happily. The lovely woman nodded, and typed the blond mages request into the ticket manager. Then, after a few seconds, Lucy's ticked printed out of the small end of the machine. Handing the ticked to her, the strange haired woman nodded and cheerfully said goodbye and good luck to the happy mage.

"Thank you! Oh, and good day to you too!" Lucy called as she walked away and over to a nearby bench. Sitting down, she looked at her ticket. Her train would be boarding in ten minutes at gate 8. Smiling down at the sheet of paper, Lucy stood back up and began walking to gate 8.

"Aren't you even sad that you're leaving?" her thoughts asked as she walked. Lucy groaned.

"Now is NOT the time to be doing this!" Lucy hissed under her breath.

"But you didn't even tell them about you're new powers! Geez Lucy, in all those weeks you were working through sorting out your new magical abilities you didn't even tell Makarov everything!"

"Well, it's too late for that now. Besides, I doubt they would believe me any way." Lucy shrugged, her voice growing louder without her noticing.

"They would have if you showed them. But that's not the real problem in this situation. Did you even tell them where those powers came from? Do you even know yourself?"

"Well, they know I'm the Elemental Dragon Slayer. But other than that, I don't know how much they know, or that they even want to. And yes I do to know where my magic comes from….I think…." Lucy spoke like she was arguing with a friend. People walking around her were beginning to give her funny looks. Lucy didn't notice though, stuck in an argument with herself.

"You THINK! Lucy! You being an Elemental Dragon Slayer is good and all, but you know that that doesn't explain why you can use dark and light magic! Elemental powers only cover earth, fire, wind, water (ice) and armor. What does that tell you about yourself?"

"Nothing at all. It just tells me that I'm….um….abnormal…." Lucy tried to reason with herself.

"Lucy, this lack of knowledge is dangerous." Her mind warned her. Lucy couldn't help but agree with herself for once. Wait, what? Never mind, she would sort this out later.

"I think you need to talk to your dad Lucy. He might know something."

"No!" Lucy cried. She suddenly clamped her mouth shut as she noticed how loud she had screamed and that she had stopped walking. People walking around her had stopped and began to look at her with looks ranging from concern to pure fear. A group of small children were pointing to her and talking about how she was, "a mad lady" Lucy just shoved her hands into her pockets and picked up her pace. She was at gate 7, and quickly approaching gate 8.

"Fine, I'll send him a letter as soon as we find a new place to live in Luck Town." Lucy concluded under her breath. Finally at gate 8, she saw that they were letting passengers on and quickly hopped in the short line. She wanted her own seat as she got horrible train sick. One of the perks of having Dragon Slaying magic. Oh joy.

As she stepped onto the train and into the tight isle, she couldn't help but feel that this was all in insane, long dream and that she would be waking up anytime soon. However, knowing this vain attempt at making everything seem alright she sighed, and found a lone seat. She shut the door leading into the small booth and locked it quickly. Setting her suitcase on the seat across from her she sat down and put her backpack under her head like a pillow. Sleep, she found, was the best way not to throw her guts up. After a few more minutes of people boarding the train, she finally heard all of the doors on the large engine close as it gave a sudden lurch forward. Lucy suddenly regretted having that bowl of cereal this morning.

A four hour nap later….

Lucy woke as she was thrown onto the floor by the not-so-soft stop of the train. Standing up quickly, she brushed herself off and pulled her squished back-pack on and grabbed her suitcase. Unlatching the lock she eased her door open and stepped out into the crowded middle isle. After a very long wait and a few people bumping into her she was finally off the train and staring wide eyed at what laid in front of her.

"Oh. My. Mavis."

A great city with large buildings and lots of people bustling about sat in front of her. The streets were filled with automobiles of all kinds, and they rushed by the people walking on sidewalks. Lights glowed everywhere (it was now beginning to get dark) and loud honking and vrooming noises rang in the air. Stepping off of the plat form, Lucy imediantly scanned the area looking for a place where she could get help. She was startled by the light tap on her shoulder.

"Excuse me, but you look like you're lost. May I help you?" A young man that looked to be about her age asked with a warm smile. He was in a simple pair of blue jeans with a nice polo shirt with, "Luck Town Visitor Helper." Stitched under this left shoulder.

"Um…uh…yeah. That would be me." Lucy stammered as she looked at him. He had light green hair with blue tips that hid his eyebrows but allowed her to look directly into his bright green eyes. They were the bolder version of his hair.

"Well then I hope I can be of assistance. My name is Jason Darkbright." The boy continued giving her a small but formal bow.

"Oh, um, name is Lucy Hea-Trustblood!" Lucy squeaked out. Oh yes, this boy was defiantly hot, but that wasn't what was causing her to act so weird. She felt like she knew him from somewhere….

"Well then it's nice to meet you Lucy!" He beamed at her. Then grapping her elbow lightly he began pulling her near a bench hadn't noticed till now. After they reached their destination he looked at her again. "So, where would you like to go?" He asked kindly.

"Well, I was hoping I could find a place to live. Nothing too big, and maybe out in the woods…" Lucy replied, suddenly realizing how shady she must sound. She was just glad she wasn't arguing with herself anymore.

The boy nodded, and then began walking again. "I think I know the perfect place. There's this little house in the woods that just went up for sale. It had two floors and is designed for someone who wants to live alone. Sound like something you would like?"

Lucy nodded her head enthusiastically, not trusting her voice. Why did she feel she knew him from somewhere?! She didn't remember his face from anywhere.

"Perfect! I'll call us a cab and we'll be there in about an hour!" Jason smiled as he pulled the shocked blond mage out of the train station and onto one of the crowded sidewalks. Then he waved down what must have been a "cab" and pushed her inside. Then, entering after her he told the driver where they wanted to go and soon they were zooming down the crowded and unfamiliar streets. Oh great. More motion. But the real question was why didn't Lucy protest to his following her to her possible new house? Why did she feel like he would do her no harm? What was up with her lately!?

At the cottage in the woods…. (Yes, I am aware of how creepy this sounds. Don't worry, everything is going to turn out okay!)

"Here we are! The realistate agent will be here soon so you can tell her if you want to buy it or not." Jason said with a smile as he helped the now less shocked Lucy out of the cab. The driver told her the ride would cost thirty jewel, and she quickly fished it out of her purse. Then, turning to Jason she thanked him.

"I'll take it." She nodded as she noticed how isolated it was. They were surrounded by miles of forest, the sounds of the city blocked out by the trees. Lucy already felt at home. Almost as if summoned by her words a nice, black car drove up into the drive way of the house and out stepped a business dressed woman with a brief case.

"Are you the two looking at this fine house?" She asked with a tight smile as she walked up to Jason and Lucy.

"Oh no, it's just me. And I would like to tell you that I'll take it." Lucy replied with a tired smile. Jason and the woman just stared at her with their jaws on the ground.

"W-well, um, alright then." The woman said, clearly surprised at the lack of work she had to do to sell the house. Then, awkwardly opening her brief case she pulled out a single, official looking piece of paper and handed it to Lucy. A few seconds later she fished out a pen and handed that to Lucy as well.

"Please just sign where it indicates on the deed. Oh, and what bank would you like to set you're loan through?" The woman beamed at her with a real smile. As soon as she was finished speaking Lucy had filled out the forms and had the cash in her hands.

"Oh, I would just like to pay the fourteen-thousand jewels up front is that's okay?" She replied, handing the woman the cash and deed. The surprised woman took it with a shake hand, and nodded.

"Um…o-okay then. Thank you for y-your business! I'll have a copy of the deed to you in about two days!" The woman said happily as she gave Lucy a set of keys she pulled out of her pocket. Then she quickly rushed back into her car and sped out of the drive way, leaving Lucy alone with Jason once again.

"Well, umm…I guess I'll just be going then. I hope you enjoy your new house!" Jason stuttered.

"W-wait! Don't you need a, um, cab?" Lucy asked as she turned around to face him. She had been looking at her new house and had forgotten he was there. However, when she turned around, she only saw a thin small of mist.

"Uh…um…okay then…." Lucy stuttered, slightly creped out. Shaking her head, she quickly walked up the stairs leading into her new house and stepped inside. As soon as she was inside she flicked the light switch on and looked around. The door lead into a small front room with a staircase leading up to what was surly the bed room(s). To tired and freaked out to look at the rest of the house, Lucy ran up the stairs and into the master bedroom on the second floor. It was slightly smaller than the one she had been living in at Fairy Tail, but not by much. She had her own bathroom like the other room, and that was the only thing that mattered. Dropping her stuff on the ground, she flopped onto the bare mattress and went over her entire day in her head. She had woken up, cried for an hour after destroying her kitchen, had an argument with herself (one she lost) gotten her ticked to Luck Town, had another argument with herself (she thought she won that one!) earned awkward stares from strangers, boarded the train and took a nap, got off the train, met a weirdly familiar boy she allowed him to take her someplace she had no idea about, bought a house she had no clue about, and was now falling asleep on a bare mattress.

"Geez. Are you even sane anymore Lucy?"

"JUST SHUT UP!"