Make my Way Back
Chapter 3
….
Beth woke with a shriek, quickly sitting up and kicking the sheets off her bed. Panting, she runs a hand over her sweaty forehead, wincing when she nudges the scar on her forehead. She could still hear the voice from her nightmare, could still feel the blood she had been drowning in, the coppery smell still overpowering in her nose.
Her stomach twists painfully and she jumps out of bed, dressed in some of the clothes Michonne had given her. Quietly she makes her way downstairs, she needed some air.
The cold air of the early morning bites at her as she exits the back door of the house, taking her gun and knife with her. She walks until she finds the only secluded place in the town, a few trees and bushes hiding her from view.
Sitting down against one of the trees, she tries to control her breathing. She just needed some space, she'd been back a few days now and hadn't had a moment to herself since. Maggie, obviously couldn't sense her discomfort, fussing over her constantly and practically exploding when she found out her sister wasn't going to be staying with her like she had obviously planned.
"B-but you're my sister! I just got you back Bethy" she whined, tugging at her arm.
Beth inwardly groaned at the nickname, she wasn't a child, hadn't been since she tried to kill herself way back on the farm. She'd changed, but apparently, no one else saw that, practically shoving Judith at her and remarking 'You'll be back to your old routine in no time!'
The sound of leaves crunching from beside her interrupted her thoughts and she whirled around, knife at the ready. She relaxed once she saw it was just Daryl, sliding her knife back in its place against her hip.
"Did you follow me out here Daryl Dixon?" she says in a fake mocking tone.
"I heard ya scream, saw you run out the back door" he answers, the tiniest tinge of pink hinting at his cheeks.
Nodding she sighs "Nightmares. Sorry I woke you"
He sits down beside her, setting his crossbow on the ground beside him "Wasn't really sleeping that great either"
"You okay?" she asks, turning her head to look at him
"Aren't I supposed be the one asking you that?" he chuckles, his eyes flickering towards the scar the bullet left behind on her head "I keep thinking you're gonna disappear on me"
She knows he doesn't like to be touched and doesn't want to push his boundaries so instead she settles for moving slightly closer, their legs just touching "I'm not going anywhere, not when I just found you"
His blush deepens and his mind desperately scrambles for a way to change the subject "Do you have nightmares often?"
He inwardly cringes 'Good job Daryl, bring up whatever it is making her wake up screaming'
She sighs heavily, looking down and wringing her hands "Pretty much every night… I see things, things I've had to do to survive, bad things"
He thinks back to when he first spotted her, the blood covered her clothes and smeared across her neck "Aaron told me how you saved them"
A bitter laugh escapes her mouth "Making it sound like I'm some sort of hero… I killed those men Daryl. And I know that they were terrible people and I know what they were planning on doing to me but I still killed them. And every time I close my eyes I can still feel his hands on me, I-I can still see their bodies"
"You did what you had to do, you're still you Beth"
"But I'm not" she says, staring him straight in the eyes "I know everyone looks at me and they still see the same weak, naïve girl who liked to sing and looked after Judith but I'm not her anymore. I'm different, I changed, I-I had to. And no one can see that"
He's not sure on how to comfort her, he wants to tell her that everything will be okay but bullshitting her wouldn't do any good. Instead he takes one of her hands from her lap, threading his fingers through hers.
"I'm sorry" she mumbles "I know there are worse things going on in the world. I shouldn't be complaining"
"I think you've earned the right to complain" he says, again glancing at her scar "And you're right. You are different, but you're still good Beth. The best person I know"
She gives a small smile "you're the only person who has actually talked to me like I'm an adult… thank you"
"Didn't do nothin" he grunts
"You did plenty Daryl Dixon" she says, quickly kissing his cheek.
His face flushes, heat spreading across his cheeks "C'mon, you should be sleepin" he says, getting up off the floor, pulling her up with one hand.
It's almost daylight when they get back, a new day breaking over the horizon. He stands awkwardly by the door when they get to his/her room.
"Daryl?"
"Yeah?"
She's sitting on the bed, watching him nervously "I know this sounds weird and you can say no if you want but-"
"What's wrong Beth?" he sighs
"I…I can't sleep, do you mind… staying with me?" she asks, blushing as she stares at him
Inside he's squirming, uncomfortable with this new feeling twisting in his stomach, but she's looking at him with those blue eyes. The same that have been haunting him for months and he finds he can't say no.
Propping his crossbow up in the corner of the room he quietly takes his shoes off before laying down on the bed beside her. She turns on her side, smiling at him briefly before closing her eyes
"Goodnight Daryl"
"Goodnight Beth"
…
