Dudley/Piers - "Give in to love or live in fear."- Rent "No Day But Today"
Surrey is a world away, and he doesn't feel like Dudley anymore.
Dudley is wrapped up in his friends and Number 4 Privet Drive and Smelting Academy, and in Northumberland he just feels like an imposter dressed in Dudley's flesh. He's nothing here – the kids at his new school don't know him like everyone did back home, and for the most part, he just disappears into the background.
Sometimes, he wonders if that's what Harry felt like, every time he was away from his school of magic.
He finds his own way of spending time – he takes up boxing at a local gym, and with the amount of time he spends there, he thinks that by that time they return home (they have to be able to return home, the thought of it's the only thing that keeps him going some days), he thinks he might actually be at an acceptable weight.
Most days, he writes.
His parents think he's doing schoolwork, and they're proud as punch over the idea that their 'ickle Duddlykins' (and how he hates that name) is trying to reach greater heights than anyone in their neighbourhood ever has. The only ones who know what he's truly doing are the wizard and the witch who are assigned to look after them – Diggle and Jones, he's pretty sure their names are.
They don't say much, and never talk about the war that's going on in their world, but they keep his secrets, so he's willing to accept that they might be a good sort.
Because when he writes, it has nothing to do with school. He writes to Piers, writes to keep himself sane and keep the memory of the fact that there is a place he calls home in his mind. He can't tell him where they are – he thinks they're in Australia, and Dudley lets him believe that, because that's hardly ever the topic of their e-mails.
He writes about his new school and fuck I want to get back home so badly, and Piers writes back to him about how useless the new sprogs at Smelting's are and that the old gang is waiting for him to get back because I'm fucking useless at leading that's your job.
The e-mails are the only things keeping him alive, because – even more than his parents' obvious disdain for Blyth – they remind him that he has somewhere to return, and he doesn't have to stay here forever. But they're also a cruel reminder to the truth he's been hiding, from the world and from himself (though the latter has been rather unsuccessful).
Every time he ends an e-mail, he debates signing off with a Love, Dudley. But Piers' friendship is perhaps the most important thing in the world to him, and he isn't as brave as Harry is. He does what he has to be certain that it – that they – are safe and together and not ripped apart by feeling he cannot control.
So he just writes Dudley and sends them, and hates himself just that much more.
an: i hope you guys liked it! as always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :)
