Donna woke up to the Doctor on her bedside.
"What?"
"We have an hour until the causal loop goes back to the beginning. I want to investigate the soothsayer first thing."
Donna nodded. "Right."
"Donna, listen, before we go, I need you to understand that whatever she shows you is not necessarily the future."
"I know," Donna lied.
"Did I ever tell you how on Gallifrey we had forty men to one woman?"
Donna wondered what the sudden reason for that bit of Gallifreyan census related trivia was. "No," said Donna. "How did you get a wife?"
The Doctor stiffened. "I got one because I had to prove to my wife that I was a capable father, one who could protect his children. It means a lot to me that you think that."
"Of course I do," said Donna.
"Then let's go see that soothsayer."
"They said men weren't allowed."
"Do I look like men to you?"
Donna paused. "Sort of?"
Donna get dressed and met her husband in the console room just before the TARDIS lurched back as it went to the start of the time loop.
"Allons-y," said the Doctor.
They walked out of the TARDIS just as Cleopatra and her entourage entered the tomb.
"Hello, Cleo!," the Doctor said brightly. "This is my wife, Donna."
"Wife?," asked Cleopatra.
"Yes, wife. She was in a wedding dress in my TARDIS, then we met when there was this alien race using fat people to breed, then she was trapped in a computer-"
"What are you doing?," asked Donna.
"Sharing."
"Less is more," said Donna.
"Right," said the Doctor. He turned back to Cleopatra. "We're off to see the soothsayer."
They started walking off.
"How did you know about my soothsayer?," asked Cleopatra.
"Oh, I've got a soothsayer of my own," said the Doctor.
They walked in the soothsayer's den.
"Hello?," Donna called.
The Doctor walked over to the water and took out his sonic screwdriver. "Water that's not water."
"A mirage," Donna repeated.
"You betcha," said the Doctor. He turned to Donna. "This shouldn't be possible. Someone is going to a lot of effort to blow a hole in the universe."
"That doesn't sound good," said Donna.
"It's really not." The Doctor looked around. "This has always been the soothsayer's area, look at the writing on the walls. It dates back to the beginning of the Egyptian empire."
"But they just now got good?," asked Donna.
They looked up. The soothsayer had shimmered in yet again.
"Does she do that all the time?," asked the Doctor.
"Yeah," said Donna.
"She is coming back," the soothsayer said.
"She said that before," Donna said to the Doctor.
"Oh, yeah?," asked the Doctor. "What else do you have?"
The soothsayer looked to Donna. "She will forget you. The cloud will descend."
"The cloud. She said that before, too," said Donna.
"Okay, answer this," said the Doctor. "We're in a closed chronic hysteresis-"
"Horrible name," said Donna.
"Anyway," said the Doctor, casting her a glance. "You're here. The loop is originating here from this mirage. That means you're the one controlling it. You brought us here. Why?"
"She is coming back."
"Who?"
"She is coming back."
"Who?!," the Doctor shouted.
"Calling for you, through time."
"Who?," he demanded.
"Wait, so did you bring us here because you think somebody's calling for him?," asked Donna.
The soothsayer didn't answer which Donna thought was as good as yes.
"So, stop bringing us here, lady!," shouted Donna. She looked at the Doctor. "God, whoever's looking for you, can't they just ring you on your mobile like a normal person? Martha did."
The Doctor turned to Donna. "We have to close this rift."
"What?"
"The mirage, it's like a rift between dimensions, sort of like the one in Cardiff-"
"Cardiff has a rift in time and space?"
The Doctor nodded. "Uh-huh. Yeah."
"I mean, I guess they needed to have something..." mused Donna.
"We close this rift, it closes the time loop, the whole time line returns to normal."
"What about all the stuff she said? What happens to it if we close it?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I don't know if it was real or if it was just some alternate reality or in response to some sort of neurological feedback. Which one, Donna?"
"I mean, I liked the baby..." As soon as she said it, she felt like an idiot. How many times was she going to fall for a fake family?
"Donna, that part's not real. A child that doesn't exist yet if it does exist at all or it might exist for some alternate Donna. I'm sorry."
Donna shook her head. "No, it's daft. You're right."
"We need to get the TARDIS down here," said the Doctor.
"But you can't move the TARDIS."
"We'll need some help."
An hour later, the Doctor had succeeded in getting Cleopatra to dispatch a group of slaves to carry the TARDIS down to the basement. He might have said something about it being essential to her destiny which Cleo might have taken to mean "victory."
"Okay, well, then," said the Doctor, popping open the panels. He dragged a cord out of the panels and over to the water. "Just a nice zap from the TARDIS engines and the mirage will be closed."
Donna's eyes darted from the proximity of cord to water. "Are you going to electrocute yourself?"
"No! Of course not! It's not even real water, Donna."
Donna put her hand in the pool. "Feels wet."
The Doctor frowned. "Okay, well, don't touch it while I do this."
Donna looked across the pool at the soothsayer. She had been sitting silently ever since the Doctor first started rambling on about his plans.
"There will be a sacrifice," she said.
"What?," asked Donna.
The Doctor stood. "Donna, don't."
She held her hand up to silence the Doctor. "What sacrifice?"
"A terrible sacrifice."
"Oh, well, that doesn't explain everything! What terrible sacrifice?!"
"Donna, stop it," the Doctor said sharply. "She's trying to get inside your head."
"I only speak the truth."
"Donna, don't listen to her."
"I shouldn't listen to the terrible sacrifice prophecy as you're about to electrocute yourself?"
"There is no prophecy, Donna! It's all just superstition and wishful thinking!"
"She's right about Cleopatra."
He shrugged. "Well, that's basically one in two odds. This is not our life, Donna!"
"How do you know?"
The Doctor stopped speaking. Donna rolled her eyes. She knew that expression. He was a Time Lord and thought he knew better and had enough of discussion. He tossed the cord in the water.
"Doctor, don't-"
He whipped out the sonic screwdriver and pointed it. The water sparked and bubbled. There was a terrible blinding light. Donna looked away from it and hid her eyes. The Egyptian slaves watched in amazement. It all stopped. Donna walked back up next to the Doctor at the edge of the pool. The water had disappeared.
"What happened?," asked Donna.
"The mirage is gone," said the Doctor. He looked up at the soothsayer. "That portal is closed. The time loop is over. History can move forward now as it was meant to."
The Doctor started reeling the cord back into the TARDIS.
"Come on, Donna," said the Doctor. "Let's go say goodbye to Cleo and really goodbye in this case."
Donna looked across at the soothsayer. She seemed wiped out with the mirage gone.
Then she spoke again: "There is something on your back."
"What?"
The Doctor took her by the hand and dragged her off.
As usual, Donna felt wiped out by the previous events, but the Doctor didn't show any sign of slowing down. They had found Antony as he walked around with a sword in his stomach and helped him get to Cleopatra, even though Donna thought the whole thing was rubbish, but kept her mouth shut as the Doctor seemed to think letting Antony know about the mistakes in his life choices would damage the timeline. She leaned against the railing of the console room as the Doctor happily skipped around the controls.
"Barcelona!," the Doctor said excitedly.
"Sorry?"
The Doctor turned from the console. "The next stop in the honeymoon tour of the universe: Barcelona. Oh, Donna, wait until you see it. They have dogs with no noses."
"Sounds great," said Donna.
The Doctor stopped and looked back at her. "You're not still thinking about that old soothsayer, are you?"
"It's just, remember the Pyroviles? That auger back in Pompeii said there was something on my back and so did she."
"So?"
"So isn't that a bit of a coincidence?"
"Donna, just the same old bag of soothsayer tricks-"
"And he called you Man from Gallifrey. Was that a trick?"
The Doctor crossed his arms. "What do you want me to say, Donna? That the mirage gave her unprecedented prescience? Oh, that's a turn of phrase. Unprecedented prescience."
"I'm just wondering what it means. There's something on my back."
"Well, Donna, I have done a very thorough inspection of your back and trust me, there is nothing on it. Except freckles and I rather like those." He walked over. "Look, Donna, there's no sense in living your life by prophecy. You have to live it for yourself and just take what comes next."
Donna shook her head. "Something about it felt so right, though."
"Come on. Barcelona's waiting."
"Yeah, just let me get freshened up a bit."
Donna walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was exhausted and he just wanted to carry on to Barcelona. They were never going to get to a beach, were they?
"Donna! Come on! Barcelona is waiting!," the Doctor moaned from the bedroom.
Donna looked over at the vanity and on it was a pregnancy test.
"Oh, no, I don't think so," Donna said. "You can just put that away, we just started trying."
The TARDIS hummed insistently, reminding Donna of something her mother had long ago told her ironically as a warning against sex, "It only takes once."
Donna looked down at the vanity. The pregnancy test was joined by another pregnancy test.
"I am in a hurry. Barcelona."
She looked down, a whole tray of pregnancy tests.
"You know, I think you just want grandchildren or whatever they'd be. You are worse than my mum."
The medicine cabinet door flew open and another pregnancy test seemingly fell out and hit Donna smack in the forehead.
"Oi! What do you think you're doing?," she asked rubbing her forehead.
"Donna! We'll miss the running of the bulls!"
"How exactly are we going to miss anything?" She yelled back. She picked up a pregnancy test. "I'll be five minutes!"
Donna looked at the ceiling. "I'm doing this to placate you. You're out of your mind."
The TARDIS said that would be fine with her.
Donna unboxed what she presumed was the Gallifreyan version of First Response, which made her wonder why the TARDIS had so bloody many on hand. What exactly had been going on when the TARDIS was crewed by a full complement of Time Lords and presumably ladies? What did they get up to? She only had experience with the Tesco version once, part of a one night stand she had tried to forget. She followed the instructions and sat on the edge of the huge tub waiting.
"Donna!," the Doctor whined. "What are you doing?"
"What am I doing in the toilet?," she snapped back. She really wasn't about to let on after the whole no bleeping business.
There was a ding. Donna got up and walked over to the vanity. The test had double helixes on it.
"What? What does that mean?" She picked the set of instructions back up. "Doubles helixes. You are... pregnant."
Donna looked in the mirror and gazed down at her stomach.
"Zara," she said softly, "is that you?"
"Donna, honestly," the Doctor whined, "we're going to miss it! What could you possibly be doing in there?"
Donna looked down. The mess of pregnancy tests was gone. She walked out into the bedroom.
"Do you think it's alright just to stand outside the door and whine until you get your way?," Donna asked.
"Come on, Barcelona, don't want to miss it!," said the Doctor, grabbing Donna by the hand.
"Um, is there any chance of us having a nice dinner?," asked Donna as she was dragged out of the TARDIS. "You know, someplace quiet."
"Dinner? What are you so concerned about dinner for?"
Donna rolled her eyes. "Is it too much to ask?"
"Donna! Barcelona!"
She turned around and looked. It looked like Barcelona. Cobblestones. The sun beating down, warming the buildings. Everyone was walking around, cheerfully. There were festive decorations on every available area.
"Running of the bulls, today! Come on!"
"Uh, do we have to?"
He stopped and turned. "Do we have to what?"
"Run from the bulls?"
"You don't want to?"
Not that Donna was the sort of woman to put herself in front of a bull as a normal matter of course, but having just found out she was pregnant, it probably wasn't a great idea. Getting gored was not a great plan. "No, I don't want to run from the bulls, I run plenty as it is."
The Doctor sighed. "Fine."
They watched the running of the bulls from the balcony of a nearby hotel. They didn't have noses, either. After the festivities were over, Donna steered the Doctor towards a nearby restaurant the concierge had recommended and they sat down for a surprisingly quiet dinner. She excused herself, wanting to make her special announcement as special as possible.
"Hi," Donna said to the hostess. "Have you got anything in the way of a special celebration pudding?"
"I'll get the chef," the girl said with a smile.
Donna waited a second and the chef came out. They chatted for a minute the chef promised it would be spectacular.
"What took you so long?," the Doctor asked.
Donna sat. "I went to the toilet."
"Doing that a lot."
She scowled at him.
"Right..." said the Doctor, analyzing her facial expressions. "Forget I said anything."
"I think that's best."
"So, ready to leave?"
"We haven't had pudding yet," said Donna.
"Right... Do we need pudding?"
Donna was quickly growing flustered. Why did this man just have to be difficult? She was trying to bloody surprise him! "We're staying for pudding," she said exasperated.
"Alright then," said the Doctor.
Donna saw the chef out of the corner of her eye. He gave her a thumbs up and Donna turned to the Doctor.
"So, I've been thinking..." Donna began.
"Oh?" He was staring out the window now.
"We really ought to try visiting my family again."
"Oh?"
"Yes, we had the whole disaster with the Oolamu when we tried to tell them we were married and now we have even more to tell them."
"What's that?," the Doctor said, taking out his brainy specs as he stared out the window.
She was about to say, but then realized she didn't have his attention at all. "Doctor, are you even listening to me?"
"Oh, that is not good..."
The Doctor stood and looked out the window. Donna glanced anxiously as the chef arrived proudly holding what seemed to be the biggest fairy cake ever, replete with glittery frosting and sparklers.
"Doctor?," asked Donna.
Donna turned to the window, finally seeing what had distracted the Doctor: there was goo falling from the sky. People began to scream outside. Then the goo began to coalesce into humanoid figures.
"What is that?," asked Donna.
"Invasion of the Goo Monsters," said the Doctor.
"Seriously?"
"I'm still working on the name. Come on, Donna." He ran past, knocking over the chef's creation. "Oh. Blimey! Sorry! That was a huge fairy cake! My apologies to whoever that belonged to. Donna, hurry up!"
Donna sighed and took some of the Barcelona money out of her pocket and threw it down. "Sorry, everyone. I'm sure it was really, really great."
"Donna!," the Doctor whined.
"I'm coming!," she spat back.
Five hours later, Donna stepped back inside the TARDIS covered in green goo. So was the Doctor.
"I can't believe they just called themselves Goo Monsters," said the Doctor. "Still, you learn something everyday. What do you think, Donna?"
Donna mumbled something. She wasn't even sure it was English. She was just very unhappy at the moment.
"Wonder why someone would take the Planet of the Goo Monsters if the whole place is covered in this muck. It is ridiculously sticky. Stickier than when Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun, eh, Donna? Did you see Black Adder?"
She just nodded her head, which made her feel as if she was sloshing around.
"Anyway, sorry about pudding. Was that giant fairy cake for us?"
"Yeah."
"Well, what did you order that for?"
Donna suddenly felt overwhelmed by a crippling wave of nausea. "Has this goo gone off or something?"
"Of course it has, it's dead Goo Monster."
Donna took her hand to her mouth, only serving to make her problem worse. "I'm going to be sick."
"Oh, come on, it's not all that bad-"
Donna bolted away, heading for the door that suddenly appeared adjacent to the console room. The toilet was conveniently circumstanced and she found herself kneeling over it and puking up the contents of most of the evening's dinner along with some things she didn't even recognize.
"Oh, sorry, Donna," said the Doctor. "Did you-"
She puked again and suddenly realized the Doctor was holding back her goo soaked hair for her as she proceeded to vomit more. She ended up lying on the floor of the bathroom in the fetal position. She became aware of the Doctor kneeling over her.
"I'm going to get an anti-emetic for you. Then we'll get that goo off and hydrate you. Alright?"
Donna mumbled something.
"Okay," said the Doctor, "I'm going to assume that was a yes. I'll be right back."
Donna laid there on the floor. Her last coherent thought as the Doctor helped her wash her hair was that the announcement probably could have gone better.
Author's Notes: I still don't own Doctor Who. Thanks to those of you reading this. I appreciate your follows and favorites and reviews. I'm going to be very soon following this up with a sequel entitled "From Midnight to the Medusa Cascade" if you're interested. There will be more on that on my profile page. Thanks again and please let me know what you think.
