Chapter
4: "It isnt over until the Ana sings"
(It's an expression)
Daybreak brought with it a lot of changes on the island now that most of the men were gone. Ana Lucia's plan to turn the place into The Land Of Lesbians, although widely ignored, was already coming underway. Not surprisingly, she and Libby were the ones to move forward with it. And Charlie, wanting to be accepted and keep up with the changing times, also made the important life-changing decision to become a lesbian.
Kate, determined to put up a strong front in Sawyer's absence, declared herself a fiercely independent single mother and was currently trying to convince Sun to join her in the fight to end single mother discrimination.
"What
discrimination?" Sun had asked.
"I see how people look at me
now that Sawyer's gone."
"I think they are trying to tell
you to stop Gunner from running around naked trying to set fire to
some things...Specifically Locke's hut?"
"He's going
through a tough time right now," was all Kate had said.
Yep, the island had definitely changed in the few hours since the men were gone. In fact, the evidence was clear to the men themselves as they returned from their harrowing ordeal with the Others just in time to witness a testosterone-driven field hockey game Ana Lucia and Libby were partaking in.
In had only been a few hours since their capture but all the guys who had been taken were back. All but Jack. Ana and Libby were the first to notice their return. Both looked disappointed. After that though, more people started noticing and running towards them, happy to see them alive.
But Ana wasn't gonna have it that easy. The first thing she did as new island leader (besides the lesbianism thing) was put all of the men in a sort of quarantine. They were only gone for a few hours but they still may have been "compromised" after all. Luckily she had already dug a pit to put them into. It was originally a grave for her next "accident" victim (actually victims since it was a pretty big pit), but it could work for this too.
So before anybody could properly reunite with their loved ones, the guys were put into a 8 foot deep pit in a secluded part of the beach. Going to see them was kind of like visiting someone in prison.
Or at least
that's how Kate explained the situation to her young son.
She
and Gunner kneeled down in front of the bamboo grate covering the
deep hole and looked down at Sawyer.
"I thought I'd never
see you again," Kate said. She reached her hand through the bamboo
and Sawyer reached up, grabbing hold of it like he'd thought the
same thing. Thanks to Jin, who's back he was currently standing on,
he was able to reach her.
"You know I'd never leave you like
that, Freckles."
"Kate," Sayid said, coming up behind
Sawyer. "We all know you'd like to be with Sawyer again. And the
rest of us would like to go home. So if you could just–"
"Shhhh,"
Gunner said, holding his index finger vertically over his lips.
"Mommy and Daddy talking."
Sayid looked at the boy, unamused. Sure, everyone else in the camp thought Gunner was adorable, but Sayid didn't. He saw him as a naughty little boy with a typically silly American name. Which actually wasn't too far off.
But it wasn't just Gunner who he disliked, it was all kids. There had been children around the island for a while now but the older they got, the less Sayid liked them. He never really understood their logic. And they never said anything relevant at all. He hoped Jacka Sayida would be different.
"Yes Gunner," he said, "but there are more pressing matters at hand. Kate, there seems to be a large object weighting the bamboo down over this covered part. A boulder perhaps. If you could just–" His words got caught in his mouth as he coughed, suddenly finding himself choking on some sand.
"Could you please tell your son to stop throwing sand on me?"
"I'm making you a big welcome back dinner for
when you get out of here," Kate told Sawyer.
Sawyer smiled. "How
'bout a welcome back breakfast? I'm starving."
"But you're
not getting out until dinner time," she said.
"Come again?"
"Kate, Ana's not here right now," Sayid said. "You
can easily just lift–"
"Mommy, gotta go wee-wee!" Gunner
exclaimed.
"Ok, Gun, go ahead," she said. "Ana says
you're all probably compromised and it's best that you stay here
for a while and forget everything the Others have done to
you."
Sawyer laughed. "You don't believe her, do you?" And
now more seriously he said, "do you?"
She shrugged.
"It's just a precaution."
"Your son is urinating on
my head!" Sayid yelled.
"Daddy I go wee-wee!"
"'Atta
boy, Gun." Sawyer now turned his attention back to Kate. "We
ain't compromised!"
"Ok, sure Pookie. You tell me all about
it at dinner, how's that sound?"
She stood up and wiped the sand off her knees. And once Gunner was done whizzing on Sayid's head he kicked some more sand into the man's eyes.
"Where
are you goin', Freckles?" Sawyer asked as she walked away while
Sayid screamed something about his burning corneas.
"See you in
approximately 14 hours, Sawyer!"
Gunner waved.
"Come
back!" Sawyer shouted. "Locke needs to go to the bathroom!"
"I
do," Locke concurred. "And it's not. Number 1." He smiled
genially.
Sawyer started jumping up and down, seeing only Kate and Gunner's retreating figures and subsequently causing some major damage to Jin's lower back. He also saw, however, a new person approaching the pit. Actually it was two people.
Ana bent over
the pit and sneered at its new inhabitants.
"How do you like the
pit?" She asked them.
"It's kinda, like... hot down here,"
Hurley said.
"Sounds like something the Others would tell
you to say," Ana responded. "Just out of curiosity, is Jack
dead?"
Eko answered her. "No, he is not. He was the only one
of us willing to do what the Others asked of him. He is a brave and
stupid man."
Ana frowned. "Is he coming back?"
"It may
be months, maybe years before we see him again."
Ana considered
this. "That a promise?"
"Is there anything you wanted or is your presence just added punishment?" Sawyer groaned.
Ana smiled and stuck a long branch through the bamboo. She poked all the men inside until she had their full attention.
"Listen up," she said. "You're all staying down here for a couple more hours. But I know you'll all be missing some female companionship. So I brought you Charlie."
She opened the bamboo grate and let
Charlie jump in.
He sprang to his feet and smiled brightly as he
saw his friends again. "Hey guys. I'm a lesbian now."
