Summary:
Based on the promotional images for 2x15.
Notes:
Adulting is hard. Apologies for the lack of updates recently. I've been trying to write but uni's kicking my butt as of late. I do want to thank you all for the sweet messages and reviews. It does motivate me a lot, and i'm glad you're all finding some enjoyment from this fic. Since the last chapter, i've managed to come up with a few different ideas but ultimately they didn't make the cut. Maybe i'll post them later on, but for now they're being put in the 'pending' pile. Funnily enough there were elements in those drabbles that shared similarities with the show, which was weird but also frustrating because i felt like kicking myself for not posting them before it happened, lol. If i do end up posting those half-finished drabbles you might be able to find those bits.
Also, i am planning on writing a chapter on them "going public", you know, to fall in line with their story line on the show (which has been amazing btw!), so that is coming. Anyways, enjoy the chapter- only took a marathon of karamel scenes and Ed's new songs to get this done :P
It was late. After the long and gruelling day, she was looking forward to wrapping herself up under the soft blanket on her couch while she watched mindless TV, but the sound of a timid knock on her door grabs her attention. Mon-El. It brings a smile to her face.
She makes her way over to the door, wincing slightly at the loud creak it makes as she opens it. "Hi."
"Hey…can we talk?" he asks, the trepidation in his voice telling her that this wasn't going to be like one of their regular nights.
"Yeah, 'course." She steps to the side to let him in, furrowing her brow slightly as she looks him over. "Everything okay?"
He steps inside and clasps his hands together, rubbing them nervously as he tries to figure out what he wants to say. "Um…you wanna sit?" he asks as he points to the two chairs at the end of the dinner table. One thing she appreciates about him is ability to be direct with her if something's on his mind, as he's done many times before. At first it was quite intense, but she quickly adjusted to it and it even encouraged her to do the same with him.
She nods and pulls her lips into her mouth, hugging her chest without thinking as if it'll offer some protection for what he's about to say. She makes her way to the chair at the head of the table, Mon-El taking the seat next to her, angling it in such a way that they were now facing one another.
She waits for him to take the lead, trying to read his expression, but is without luck in figuring out what this could be about. The only indication that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation was when he reached up to scratch his stubble- his nervous tick.
"Um…I don't really know how to say this or if it'll make any sense…" he admits, drawing in a shaky breath as he struggles to find the words. "I've wanted this- ", he waves between them, "you, for so long…" His eyes flick up to meet her baby blues, hoping to borrow some strength from the woman in front of him as he begins to share his thoughts. "You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and my last thought before I fall asleep…and I've never felt this way about anyone before. I never thought I'd care for someone like this…or have this fear that I might lose them."
She watches him, staying quiet and letting him speak his mind uninterrupted.
"I just don't know how to do this." He clears his throat, running a finger over his lip as he waits for the beginnings of a lump in this throat to go away, "Just when I think I'm getting it, I go and mess things up... and I'm afraid that I'm just going to lose you because I can't give you what you need." The defeat in his voice pains her, feeling her shoulders fall and heartstrings tug at his words.
This prompts her to speak up, "Mon-El…"
"There's only so many times you-"
"Hey, relationships aren't easy. Couples fight… this is new to me too, Mon-El." She reaches out to comfort him, covering his clasped hands with one of hers.
Her head falls to one side as she tries to figure out where this is coming from. "We're still figuring things out right now. It'll take time, but we'll get there."
He doesn't look sold, but he tries his best to play it off as if he was, nodding his head. "Okay." he mutters so quietly, meeting her gaze for a moment before looking away. A silence falls over them, neither of them sure what to say. She senses that he might be slightly embarrassed, judging from the lack of eye contact and the furrow of his brow. "I'm, uh…I'm gonna go."
He stands, readying to leave but she stops him with her hand, clasping the wrist closest to her. "Hey…"
He glances down at her hand, slowly turning his body towards her.
"Come here." She asks him softly, gently tugging at his hand.
Mon-El bends down in front of her, abandoning the chair he had just vacated and looks at his hand on her lap. She waits for him to look at her, but he doesn't. His eyes remain fixed on their hands, and it kills her to see him like this- dejected, hurt…so hopeless.
She slowly brings her hands to cradle his face, allowing her fingers to run up through the soft hair by his ears. "Mon-El," she whispers his name, pouring as much love as she possibly can into his name, "Mon-El, look at me."
The daxamite is slow to lift his head, and the pain behind his eyes makes her glad she didn't let him leave and be alone, only realising how much this was bothering him.
"I do need you." She feels the beginnings of a small blush creep up under her skin, briefly breaking eye contact with him as she musters the strength to push through that fear of being vulnerable, and pulls him closer, softly tracing her thumbs over his five o' clock shadow. "Sometimes it scares me how much I like you." A nervous laugh passes through her, but she quickly recovers. "When I'm with you… you make me feel safe, Mon-El."
She drops her hands, seeking out his once more as her fingers begin to play with his, and he follows her gaze to look at the small gesture. They've become so comfortable around each other, and in the beginning, it surprised him by how physical Kara was- how generous she was with her touches, always seeking out some point of contact.
"Being with you has made me learn things about myself…how to be more myself with you. I'm not used to this either…I've never liked being vulnerable, or open, with another person. I forget that I don't always have to be strong and that it's okay to need someone. I guess I just never thought that I'd have that…and now I do." She looks up at that last bit, meeting his gaze.
A warm smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. "I'm happy, Mon-El. You make me happy."
So many emotions were swirling around in those stormy blues of his, but her words must have resonated with him because without breaking eye contact his hands move to her waist, hugging her sides and he lets out a content sigh.
"I don't deserve you." He states softly, disbelief and admiration for the woman in front of him seeping into his words.
She's said all that she needed to say, but she was never fully confident at using her words so she leans forward and pulls him towards her, hoping that a kiss would convince him of her feelings, and shatter any remaining doubt he might have.
The kiss they share is gentle, but quickly amounts to something much more passionate. Mon-El pushes himself up to bring his face level with hers, wrapping strong arms around her slender waist to bring her closer until there's no more space between them. The intensity and seriousness of the conversation melted away, instead being replaced with a tender pledge of future bliss.
Kissing him felt cathartic, as it reaffirmed that sizzling connection between them and released any unexpressed feelings she had for him but was too afraid to say.
Her arms slid around his neck, wanting nothing more but to stay like this. He grounded her. He made her feel strong, and safe, and loved, and all she wanted to do now was be as close to him as she possibly could.
"Stay with me." She muttered against his lips, her voice croaky and slightly out of breath.
He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, brushing his nose off hers before pulling back to gaze into her eyes, and nodded. Smiling softly, he raised a hand to tuck a loose strand behind her ear, wanting to remember this moment and commit it to memory before uttering words he knew she'd laugh at. "Comets."
She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, the beginnings of a smile gracing her features at his comment. She decides to stand, pulling him with her until they're toe-to-toe. Not wanting to say anything else, Kara pushes herself onto her tiptoes and presses her lips to his, insinuating that the night is still young and leads him to her room.
