UPDATE! Now we get a small look into Skye's past and a moment with Ward. Ward will be a villain in this story and this will be a platonic Skyeward story. But I won't be focusing on their relationship until much later, however they have a moment in this chapter.

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Summary:Skye has a secret, one that no one else can ever know. As a child, people wanted to exploit her genius. As a teen, they took advantage of her mind. For two years, Skye had been free but, when she gets on Shield's radar, she has to tread carefully or else they might learn her secret and history will repeat itself.


Chapter Four: I Couldn't Breathe

It had been two weeks since Peru. Four days since Skye helped the team with their mission on the scientist, Franklin Hall. It had taken Skye two hours to locate him and from there, they had been able to do their part. It had lead to a number of interesting
/things for Skye. Skye remembered every detail of the mission, locating Hall, getting caught in his gravitational experiment and so forth.

Her first real mission with SHIELD had gone somewhat well for the hacker. However she wasn't very eager to go out and do something like that again. Unfortunately she knew that wasn't going to be an option for her, especially since she had a cover to maintain.
/After the mission Coulson thought it would be a good idea to give her an S.O. while she stayed here. Agent May suggested Ward. Skye didn't care much about that though, everything he had taught her so far was stuff she already knew.

Ward had questioned her about her experience with fighting. All she told him was she knew how to punch and kick and a little bit of street fighting. It wasn't a total lie, Skye knew how to street fight and was a black belt in over a dozen martial art
/forms, but she kept that detail to herself. It was nearly three in the morning, but Skye couldn't sleep. Lately she had been having a lot of her memories turned into nightmares while she slept.

Half of the time they were the exact same as her memory while some were twisted even more than she remembered. Skye had been punching the red punching bag with her bare knuckles for the past half hour. Ward told her to tape her knuckles whenever she used
/it, but he wasn't here now to reprimand her. Not to mention she preferred to have bare knuckles. Even though it cut her knuckles and stung, she didn't care.

I can control this. It's one of the only things besides breathing I can control.

Skye shook the voice of herself away from her mind as she punched harder. When Derek, her former combat instructor, worked with her he would try to control everything, just like the scientists. Just like SHIELD. Everyone Skye knew would try to control
/her. Skye could only control a few things in her life, one of them was her own version of fighting. Everyone tried to control her, but this was something she could do. The thought sent a wave of white-hot anger through Skye as she continued to punch.

She knew her form was getting sloppier the angrier she got and the wilder her swings became. It didn't matter though, she needed to release her anger somehow because aggressively typing on her keyboard wasn't doing the trick. Mindlessly going over old
/codes and breaking through game boy level firewalls did little to settle her nerves. She punched left, right, ducked and spun around as she punched with her right arm. She kicked the punching bag with her left and right foot, one after the other before
/fighting with her hands again.

Skye repeated the same movement twice before she stopped to catch her breath. She pressed her sweaty forehead against the punching bag as she took a deep breath. The flyaways of her brown her stuck to her sweaty skin. The white tank top she wore was wet
/from all the sweat and her body was on fire.

I'm tired Derek!

Does it look like I give a rat's ass about how tired you are Mary? Drill it again, Form V.

Skye took a shaky breath, she could remember the countless hours of physical training. How she always left with new bruises that wouldn't go away for weeks at a time. How whenever she woke up after a day of fighting she could barely stand. Skye never
/knew which one was worse, the mental or physical training. Each one made her feel like she couldn't breathe.

After physical training, her chest would burn as if it were on fire or like she was breathing in smoke. After a day of mental training, her lungs felt like they were being filled with water and she was drowning. Either way, she felt like she couldn't
/breathe. They pushed her to hard and to often.

You aren't stopping until you get this right.

Skye was too lost in her thoughts to hear Ward talk to her or his footsteps as he came down the stairs. He had woken up to grab a midnight snack when he saw Skye's bunk was open. Having spent a lot time with Skye these past two weeks he knew she was not
/one to be up before ten in the morning. He searched the Bus until he found her in the cargo hold beating the crap out of a punching bag.

When she relaxed against the punching bag, he noticed how worn out she looked and not just from the work out. Lately he had noticed Skye had become jittery, always looking over her shoulder. She was expecting something, but Ward had no idea what that
/could be.

"Why aren't your wrists taped," he called to her, trying to sound teasing.

Skye didn't reply, she didn't so much as glance his way. Ward furrowed his brow and walked down the spiral stairs to approach her. When he stood behind her, he saw her shoulders were trembling, her breathing was labored and heavy.

"Skye," he asked and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She jerked at the touch, but froze in her spot. Skye held her breath until she realized who was behind her and that she wasn't in any danger. Her shoulders relaxed and she took a deep breath, forcing oxygen into her lungs despite the pain in her chest.

"Skye are you alright," Ward questioned concern in his voice.

Skye bit down on her lip hard as she tried to swallow the sob that threatened to escape her.

My chest hurts. Please let me stop.

Her hands that rested on the punching bag clenched into fists.

"I'm fine," Skye said, but her voice sounded hoarse.

Ward shook his head, even though she couldn't see his response. Her shoulders were shaking, her breathing was labored and Ward just knew she was far from fine or okay.

Ward replied, "You don't look to good Rookie."

Skye jerked away from him, her back still to him as she stared at the back wall. Heart pounding, shoulders trembling, Skye clenched her bruised and slightly bloody knuckles. Her chest was starting to ache, her throat was dry and tightening making it hard
/to breathe. Skye forced air into her lungs, she had to breathe and focus on the breaths she took.

"Skye," Ward said concerned as he watched his rookie.

Skye took several breaths, each one hurting her chest more than the last.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

"All in your head," Skye muttered to herself, "All in your head. All in your head."

Now Ward was really worried. He barely heard what Skye said, only that she was muttering to herself.

He approached her cautiously, "Skye. What's wrong?"

Skye jumped at the sound of Ward's voice, she had forgotten he was here. Why was he still here? Skye didn't understandand why he was still spun around to face Ward and she narrowed her eyes at him. Why he was looking at her like that?Like he was concerned.
He wasn't concerned, none of them were concerned about her. She didn't matter to them and they didn't matter to her.

Skye's panic and fear switched to anger and hostility. How dare he act as if he cared about her. How dare he pretend to be concern. No, she would not fall for that again. All her walls rose sky high, no one would see her for who she was. No one could
/see her the way she was. He was faking, just like Rose did, like the scientists, like Echo, X-Wing and all the rest of them.

"Nothing," Skye hissed angrily.

Ward raised his hands in surrender at her hostility, "I don't mean any trouble. I just want to help you."

Skye growled through gritted teeth, "I don't need or want your help."

Ward had never seen Skye angry in the time he had known her. She was usually smiling, acting like a bubbly teenager, but tonight she looked angry. Her brown eyes were darker than he had ever seen, the sweat coating her forehead and her bare arms wasn't
/just from her workout. However what stood out for Ward was the shaking of her shoulders and her clenched fists at her sides. Every breath she took was labored and he knew it was hard for her to breathe.

"What's wrong Skye," Ward asked in a softer tone.

Skye only glared at him with dark brown eyes. Her heart was pounding too fast against her chest, but she couldn't slow it down. She couldn't concentrate on anything but her rising anger and swirling emotions. She was angry at Ward, she was angry Derek,
/at Coulson, at herself, at everyone. No one ever cared about her, no one ever would care about her. This only made Skye's emotions spiral, she needed to get out of here. Skye didn't notice Ward until his hands were gripping her sweaty shoulders.

"Let go of me," Skye said angrily, but it came out as dry rasps to Ward.

"Skye I need you to calm down," Ward told her in a soft voice she had never heard him use before, "Okay, take a few deep breaths."

Skye's first reaction was to push him away, shove him off her before her walls could come crashing down. After her fear came anger and after her anger came sorrow. In a matter of minutes Skye knew she wouldn't be able to keep her tears at bay. Her eyes
/burned from the sweat dripping around her face and the tears getting ready to fall. Her breathing was heavy and labored, borderline wheezing.

Ward was worried about Skye. He knew that she had a difficult, even though she hadn't told him or anyone else on the team much about it. With that thought in mind, Ward wondered if maybe her troubled past was causing her to act the way she had been. Ward
/was no stranger to a dark past, but he wanted to know just how dark her past was.

"Skye, look at me," Ward said gently, but also firm.

Skye lifted her head slightly, her fiery brown eyes met his soft ones. There was a look in them she had never seen in anyone else's eyes except for Coulson. Like they were looking at her. As if they really saw her.

That was enough to break Skye's resolve and she choked, "I-I was just mad and I had to let it o-out somehow. I c-couldn't get away from h-him."

"Him," Ward questioned confused.

Skye sighed and the words were off her tongue before she could stop them, "Derek. H-He wouldn't stop. I-I couldn't b-breathe, but he kept going until I-I passed out. He taught m-me to fight, only-only if I didn't do it right he would beat me. I couldn't
/s-stop him. I never could..."

Skye trailed off as she looked away from Ward, her voice broke as she went on, "He would push me, t-they would all push me so h-hard. So hard that I couldn't b-breathe. The air, it j-just wouldn't- I just couldn't. S-Sometimes I still can't."

Skye released a heavy breath, her hands gripped Ward's shirt tightly in her fists. Never had she told anyone aside from Brenda, someone who she saw as a sister, what she had experienced while captured. Never had she let anyone in, but for the briefest
/of moments, she let her walls down for Ward. Ward pulled her into a hug, at first she was tense in his arms, but after a minute her shoulders relaxed and she cried.

Against her protest, Skye cried into his shoulder allowing herself this moment of weakness because she needed it. Everything that was weighing on her shoulders came down harder than they had in years. The tears fell down Skye's flushed cheeks as she released
/the sobs that welled up in her throat.

We expect a lot from you Mary.

I said again!

Finish the encryption.

Don't make any mistakes.

What did I tell!

You better be worth all this trouble.

Somebody help me!

"Skye," Ward told her, "Derek isn't here. You don't have to worry about him or they ever again. I know what it's like to be attacked when you're down, but I promise you. If this Derek ever comes around, we'll kick his ass."

In spite of herself, Skye released a breathless chuckle. Skye wanted to believe that, but she knew she would see Derek again. If Camilla kept her promise, Derek would be the least of her worries. Ward had never seen Skye to shaken and… broken than in
/this moment. Where she forced air into her lungs and held onto his shirt as though it were the only thing keeping her grounded. Her body was still trembling, but her breathing had steadied a little.

Ward looked down at his rookie with a thoughtful gaze, whoever this Derek was had really hurt her and that made Ward angry. In that moment, he made a silent promise to Skye that he would find this person she spoke of and beat the shit out of him on her
/behalf. Skye was an amazing person, someone filled with so much light. That was the reason Ward didn't like her at first, there was just something good about her.

That goodness was one of two things: fake or innocence. After getting to know Skye, Ward realized that she was someone who was innocent until they weren't anymore.

"Come on," Ward whispered to her gently.

Skye gripped his shirt tighter, not sure what he meant by 'come on' or what he wanted to do. Ward kept one arm around Skye's shoulder and bent on until his arm came under her knees. Skye wrapped her arms around Ward's neck.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," Skye whispered to him.

Ward smiled at her, "Ah don't worry about it."

Skye rested her head on his shoulder and before she knew it, a dreamless sleep overtook her.


The next morning, Skye pretended that the events from last night never happened. Ward had confronted her about it, but she said it was nothing important that he needed to be worried about. Of course Ward didn't believe that, but he decided it would be
/best to leave Skye be. Another time they would talk and Ward hoped he could get some information about this Derek out of her.

It was going to be an easy day for the Bus, Fitzsimmons spent their time in the lab, Ward was in the cargo hold doing some exercises while Skye was doing some research for Coulson in the command center. He had found her sitting in one of the SHIELD cars
/in the cargo hold and asked some interesting questions.

"You ever rob a bank," Coulson asked her curiously, "Or an armored car? Casino?"

Skye bit her lip, "How about all of the above. Should I be worried you asked me that?"

"Someone is stealing millions of dollars in diamonds," Coulson told her.

Skye nodded, "Okay."

"They've found a way to crack security systems and I need you to figure out their exploit," Coulson replied then raised an eyebrow, "All three?"

Skye breathed a chuckle, "Well a girl's a got to make a living while on her own. I'll see what I can dig up."

This lead to Skye spending half an hour doing research on the diamond robberies. The most recent came up yesterday, her Coulson and May went down to the train station where the theft took place. The witnesses I.D. the thief as a woman, black, in her late
/twenties with an athletic build. Before the robbery, she closed her eyes and the lights went out. Skye knew exactly who was behind the theft, the description and the closing eyes was all she needed to know, but she didn't say.

Although Skye had never met the woman, she knew her name and face because of the devices she helped build. This was one of the many Skye had hurt. Skye played her part, naive and dorky on the outside, but calculating on the inside. If her hunch or theory
/was correct and she knew it was, they were dealing with something much more serious than just someone stealing jewels. Skye pulled up some photos of the 25 people, but they weren't interested in those men, it was the people in the background that
/had their attention.

Skye found the person they were looking for and discretely pulled up front on the screen in Coulson's office.

"What about this one," Skye suggested.

The picture had been posted on facebook, there were two of the men in red mask and five other faces were visible. One of which was the thief they were looking for.

"I could run a facial recognition with our criminal database," May said, but Coulson already found their person.

"Don't bother," he said and zoomed in on a woman, "Her name is Akela Amador."

"Are you certain," May questioned.

"I should be, I trained her," Coulson replied simply.

Skye knew the story behind Akela, she had been a SHIELD agent a few years ago before she was supposedly killed on a mission along with some other agents. Skye knew that wasn't true, the technology and research Skye helped perfect had been down with the
/aid of Akela. The woman had the device that Skye helped build installed into her. Skye swallowed as she followed Coulson out of his office, not paying attention to the story she already knew. It was because of the work she did that Akela was in this
/position and stealing the diamonds.

If this small branch of what Skye had done was here, she knew that the base and roots of the tree were not far behind. The three of them met Ward in the command center where they had a few options on where Amador was headed. Skye had her theories about
/where Akela was headed and what she planned to do with the diamonds, but she didn't voice her thoughts.

It made Skye sick to her stomach, but she couldn't take the chance. They can't know truth about her. Skye knew it was wrong, but it was times like this she was grateful for slightly selfish ways. No one else was going to look out for her, so she had to
/be the one to make sure sure she didn't get caught. Skye was pulled from her thoughts when May and Ward left the command center after Coulson told them they were keeping this investigation in house. Part of her wanted to say something to Coulson,
/she could tell he was blaming himself for this.

Skye wanted to tell him this wasn't his fault, but she held her tongue. After all, there were a lot of things he should be held accountable for, maybe this was one of them. Skye left the command center leaving Coulson alone to his thoughts as he came
/up with a plan. Coulson decided that they would head out to Zloda Belarus. After Ward did his search, this seemed like the place she would be in.

Fitz-Simmons and Skye would stay in the van to search for Amador electronically while Coulson and Ward went searching for her outside. It was up to Skye and Fitz-Simmons to find her if she made contact with her buyer. With all the diamonds she stole,
/obviously someone was paying her to do it. When Fitz pulled up something on the local frequency, Skye was able to clear up the picture in a few seconds giving them a clean view. At first the scientists thought it was some kind of TV show, but by the
/movement Skye could tell it was live feed. When their white van came into the picture, Skye knew they were in danger.

"What kind of TV show is this," Fitz questioned, "Hey that looks like our van."

The next thing to worry Skye was when the video turned X-ray allowing the screen to see inside the van.

"What are we looking at," Simmons asked worriedly.

Fitz stood up from his seat and moved his arms, the image of one of the bodies on the screen followed his moves.

"Us," Fitz stated.

"Amador," Skye whispered under her breath as she moved away from the screen.

Skye moved to the passenger seat where she saw Akela driving a truck and slamming it into their van. Fitz-Simmons fell to the floor on impact, Skye shook in her seat. They needed to get out of here before they were killed. If Skye could get to the driver's
/seat, she could the van moving and away from Amador. Unfortunately she couldn't get the car on in time. Amador rammed her truck into the van and knocked their car over the side where it flipped over.

Skye cursed.