So :) this chapter is dedicated to svowles1690 who was this stories first reviewer :) it was so nice to hear something positive about the story so thankyou :)
so onto chapter 4
06 July 2012
12:04
Yesterday, today, tomorrow. All the days seem to be merging into one another. Night, day, morning, evening. I can't even remember if I managed to sleep in the last twenty four hours. Though, I'm pretty sure I haven't.
I keep telling the Captain that I have to sleep if I am to write something interesting and important, but he won't listen.
Therefore, I'm just going to sit here writing 'I need sleep' until he realises that I have a point.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sle-
06 July 2012
7:37
I managed to convince him with a lot of babbling that the any way he was to get a coherent piece of confession from me today was to allow me to sleep, and therefore I was given a lumpy mattress on the floor and a few hours to get some shut eye.
I have a pounding headache and I still can't really think straight, but I will try anyway. There is no point trying to make things harder for myself.
I let Draco in a few days after the event that I have dubbed the 'First Smile'. The 'First Smile' being the event that led to my downfall and my hatred of good looking, blond idiots who go by the name Draco or Malfoy – I might as well handle the whole family in one go; no sense in discriminating against his shit of a father or his egotistical mother. If I could go back and change one thing, I would tell myself to stop acting like a pathetic idiot and to take a leaf out of Harry's book of Mistrust and keep my wand aimed on one; Draco Malfoy.
Ron was still mistrustful of Draco until the very end, which was one of the main reasons that I was there alone the night that you captured me. Both of the boys refused to accompany someone who would turn against the resistance and side with a Death Eater.
It was like the scandal of the century. I mean, it wasn't like I had kicked a puppy or something, but that was what they were acting like.
Every time I locked eyes with Harry, he would shoot a wary gaze in my direction like I had just thrown Hedwig out of the window after cutting off her wings.
All I really did was sleep with a guy. I mean, I know I am viewed as the Virgin Granger, but I mean even 'uptight know it all's' need a release some time. I can hear them now like they are standing with me now, condescending gazes and all! 'Such a little whore!'
Is that what you thought Draco, when you slept with me? Was that what you were thinking when you lied to me and told me that you loved me? I know now, I know how you rip the hearts out of an innocent girl's chests and then slam them back to where you think they should be. Do you feel any remorse?
Oh no, I'm definitely not bitter at all!
Harry and Ron didn't see it as innocent. They saw it as STUPID!
And, if some feelings got confused, so what? I was the one who got hurt in the end. And, if I am being completely truthful I guess that Harry and Ron turning on me hurt me more than the 'Ultimate Betrayal!'
Yes, that is what I am going to call it. I think it fits pretty well, don't you Captain?
You are watching me Captain, did anyone ever tell you that you should have two eyebrows?
I know that the DE fashion is to look gross and scary, but a little personal hygiene and some deodorant would be appreciated, I mean I could even let you off on the toothpaste charge if you just wore a little DEODERANT!
I wonder if you can't smell it.
Even a scorgify charm would be better than this if you can't be arsed to get in the shower!
Ok, I see the topic / major ISSUE of cleanliness isn't your favourite by your willingness you draw your wand. Right, moving on. Have you considered shaving? I was joking Captain, don't get all pissy.
Note to self (Dictated by the Captain!): do NOT call the Captain Pissy. OR tell him he NEEDS to shave / gain another eyebrow. THERE SHOULD BE TWO! Hehe, get it? Oh right, it's from a Muggle film, not something that you Pureblood bastards would get.
Something I have noticed since being here is that my vocabulary has become amazingly enlarged.
Anyway, you have pushed another list in front of me, haven't you Captain? You have asked for the location of the Order Base.
I know the whole Death Eater side like to do everything in the open. No 'behind closed doors' or any of that shit for you, but for the rest of us poor souls, unless dying is on your wish list, you do stuff incognito.
I like that work. Incognito. Incognito. Incognito. I see you don't like that word, Captain...why? Because you don't know what it means?
...
...
...
Ok, subtle – alright, insanely obvious (but I have to be otherwise he wouldn't understand!) - hints at improving education of the Captain are also out.
Seriously, I mean all of these truths about their weaknesses are staring them in the face, but they just decide to ignore them! A little educating could really improve your planning and execution.
Anyway...where was I?
Oh yeah, incognito. So, when I tell you they are all under FIDELUS CHARM do you think you could try to keep up and realise that means I CAN'T tell you? I have already given you Grimauld Place, but you already knew where that was due to my own actions when I allowed a Death Eater to grab hold of me as I apparated Harry and Ron to safety. Maybe if they learnt to transport themselves than it wouldn't have happened and Grimauld Place would still be under our control.
Get Dumbledore in here if you want to know, but that is all I can tell you.
I am loving the new decor by the way. I mean, a sweaty wall decoration, who looks like he's been slammed through a sewer to get here, wearing Death Eater robes and permanently snarling as well as slamming my head into the table and threatening to curse me, just makes me feel so at home.
I mean, I feel so bad that I am living here free of charge. Maybe I should start paying you to stay here. With a few brochures and an advert in the Daily Prophet and I think you could really have something going here!
06 July 2012
16:56
My snarky comments and big mouth have gotten me in trouble again. Though, offering to give them something in return for the 'heaven' – his words not mine – that I am living in as a joke, was taken extremely literally. As in, three hours a day will be up in the main house working for them. Dusting, mopping, sweeping; I am supposed to be a real little Cinderella – let's just hope that I don't find my fairy Godmother while I am up there slaving away because instead of a ball, I would ask for all of you to drop dead like flies.
I would like to tell you who I encountered in the main house. Draco Malfoy. It would be odd if I wasn't in Draco Malfoy's house and he wasn't Voldie's right hand man's son – and left hand woman's niece; he just had bad genes from both sides of the family, there really was no hope for him – but it isn't odd and it WASN'T a pleasant experience.
Like if I saw him again in the next lifetime, it would be way too soon; which I guess is too bad because I will see him tomorrow.
I suppose that the only good thing was seeing that he was just as shocked as me that the other was there. I wished I had a camera. Do you know what that is, Captain? Again, I will suggest that you should go back to school, maybe enrol in a muggle studies class? Nope. Alright. It was only a suggestion.
You are making some sort of gestures with your hands and I am taking them to mean 'get a move on' so I will.
I was at the first feelings between your little rat and yours truly. It was a strange experience. I was crying due to some insensitive comment that one Ronald Weasley made – there are too many to list, though I should suggest he write a book because he would make millions detailing crappy insults! – and he was there to comfort me.
You are already looking a little uncomfortable Captain. I can't wait to make you even more uneasy. Not nice thinking of the blond Pureblood brat with the lowly Mudblood girl, is it Captain?
Too bad. You asked for the story and that is what I am going to give you.
So I ran to him crying. I think that you'll find that in most of our encounters one of us is crying, and I am proud to say that most of the time it was Malfoy. Even though they were probably fake tears, it still gives me a little satisfaction to know that theoretically he was weaker than me. Well, in my head he was. I may have been the one to break in the finale, but he was broken long before I was. And you can't really break someone who is not whole; technically it was unfair playing grounds.
"Hermione." He had started calling me by my first name and it still made me start. Hearing it in a kind way coming out in his usually cold draw was like a shard of fear was stuffed through my chest. But it was a good fear.
The kind of fear that girls feel in books when they fall in love with the bad boy. It was the kind of fear that every girl wants to feel once in their lives with a boy like Draco Malfoy, because nice boys are not exciting. And for a while I just wanted exciting.
A few months prior I had made an attempt with Ron, we hadn't gotten as far as sleeping together because I knew that it wasn't going to satisfy me.
Fumbles with someone like Ron wasn't what I wanted. I wanted someone who 'wore the pants' – god how I hate that phrase. I didn't want to be in charge. I wanted someone who could teach me. I wanted someone who would make me feel things that were earth shattering.
I guess I put too much expectation into it, because it never really lived up to it.
It was sort of shoddy really. Embarrassing, gross and with totally the wrong guy.
I guess I shouldn't lie, should I? For that reason I retract my previous statement. It was perfect, and he was sweet and kind and it was the night I expected and more. And then the morning came and he was gone. But I will eventually relive the whole night in excruciating detail for you to peruse at your leisure. Maybe you can give it to Draco, might like a souvenir to accompany the memory of my virginity.
I guess I had my very own Son Of a Bitch bad boy, didn't I?
Being with Draco was like playing a game of chess when all of your pieces have been taken and all you have left is your king while the other side has everything.
Like I was still a beginner and he was surging past advanced and into expert. I was never going to win and for a moment I thought I was drawing ahead; but eventually he slapped me back down to where he thought I should belong.
Hello everyone, i hope you are enjoying the story thus far, please continue to read and please drop a review to tell me what you think of the story. constructive criticism is always welcome. :)
