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Chapter 4: The Canvas
Peeta's POV
I almost forgot. We were both dripping wet. Katniss was shivering. I was shivering too. I took my dry shirt and wore it. Katniss crossed her arms over her chest. I thought this meant that she want to be alone, a sign of independence. I dared not to put my arms around her back. No one even dared to talk or start the conversation. Here we go again. Awkward!
She led the way back inside her house. The rest of Victor's Village was eerily quiet. I wanted to go to Haymitch's but he wasn't home. He told me to take care of Katniss because he'll be going to the Capitol to see Effie. But he's been gone for 3 days now. Is there something going on between the two?
We were already at t he doorstep of her house. She stopped on her tracks and slowly looked at Haymitch's house. I guess we're thinking the same thing. Obviously, she doesn't know about Haymitch being gone. I ought to tell her but we're both not in the mood and we know it. She heaved a sigh and went inside. Then, I thought if I should go in too. Maybe she needs some time alone, some privacy. Maybe she doesn't want me with her at the moment. Maybe I should go home. Maybe that's what she wants. Maybe…
But I was lost in my thoughts when a raindrop landed on my nose. I felt it slide down and drip on the floor as it reached the tip of my nose. I looked at the sky. The weather surprised me. It was sunny awhile ago. The weather is unpredictable. You can never tell if it would be a sunny or gloomy day. And its mood changes from time to time. Just like her.
I bowed my head and looked at the ground. I watched the raindrops hit the floor and make dark marks on the ground when I noticed my feet twitching slightly.
Oh no! I thought. Not again!
I held on to a wall before my transformation got serious. Must hold on before it gets worse. Must hold on tight before…
I felt my eyes dilating as the rain poured down.
She's a mutt! Don't go in.
"No! She's not…"
She's just hiding. Run away! Or kill her NOW!
"No! I won't…"
She'll eat you… ALIVE!
"Maybe I should run…"
She'll burn your house down too. Go home! Guard it!
"No! She won't."
STOP FIGHTING YOURSELF!
"She's not a mutt. I'll go in there and prove you wrong!"
No! Wait.
I made a huge step inside. The voice inside my head was gone. I went back outside and checked the part of the wall I held unto. The scratches all over the wall hadn't surprised me. I'm used to seeing that from time to time. But what shocked me the most was the scratches I had made at one of the posts at her doorstep and the scratches on the door. Sorry, Katniss! I took one last look outside. It was starting to rain cats and dogs.I walked backwards and got inside.
I turned around and faced the stairs. That's when I heard it. After years and years of waiting to hear that thing again, I finally heard it. The last time I enjoyed hearing it was in class when I was five. All the birds stopped chirping and listened to it too. The memory and the sound were still very clear to me. I remember it was just like yesterday.
Katniss was singing.
Her voice was full of life. It was like a choir of angels descending from the heavens, like a gift filled with hope and endless love. I wish I could sing like that!
Her music filled me inside. It even might've been the one that stopped me having those attacks. I smiled at the thought of this.
"No mutt could sing like that!" I told myself quite proudly.
The sound was coming from upstairs. Probably in her bedroom, I thought.
With each step I took, her voice became clearer. Of course it was kind of muffled. We're a floor apart.
I was climbing the flight of stairs. The feeling was like a tracker jacker has bitten me. It was quite hallucinating. I felt so light and sort of high I guess. I felt something stirring deep inside me. I loved her more. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to jump off the stairs at the same time. Her voice has given me high energy. But, like back when I was five, I was a goner. And that was the best feeling her song ever brought me.
I reached the top of the flight and thought about her, me, us. It made me blush. I can't decide if I should go in or not. If I go in, she might stop singing. I don't want that. If I stay, she'll not stop.
But a part of me told me that I should go in and so that's what I did.
I opened the door and found her sitting on her bed by the window. She was definitely looking outside even if it's raining hard.
She continued singing and hadn't looked at me like no one really came in. I moved to her bedside table and got a cheese bun. The pastry was cold but still I took a bite. I drank a bit of water until the glass was half full. With nothing much to do, I sat on the edge of her bed. She still hadn't noticed me.
She changed her clothes. And that reminds me that I was still soaking wet. I must've messed her whole house with dripping water. This day's not getting any better.
I saw some red marks all over her arms. She was struggling with the flashbacks too. That's why she sang. Maybe that's what she does to stop the attack of those horrible flashbacks.
She was still singing. Oh, how I loved it when she sings. I just can't help liking her more.
I tapped my foot impatiently on the ground and took another bite on the cheese bun. The next thing I knew was I already finished it off. Unmindfully, I drummed my fingers on the sheets of her bed. She must've sensed it. Her song had come to an end.
After minutes with none of us talking, well, she broke the record.
"Peeta," she said.
I looked at her. She was already looking at me.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You express what you feel through painting." Her voice catches.
"What do you mean?" I solicited.
"I'm talking about the flashbacks and that kind of stuffs," she explained.
"Oh, yeah I do. You want me to show them to you?" I asked again.
There was no answer.
"The last time I showed them to you, you told me they were horrible," I spoke.
"Yes. But painiting it felt good, didn't it?" she said with a smile. It was nice to see her smile again.
There was a long silence,
"So you're saying you wanna paint?" I questioned.
"Teach me, Peeta! Oh, please teach me," she begged and started to kneel in front of me. This made me laugh a little. She was just fooling around. Her singing might have cheered her up.
"Sure but my painting materials are at home," I replied quite unsurely.
"Then we'll go there," Katniss replied, getting a coat from her closet.
Katniss's POV
I opened my closet and there I found all the clothes that Cinna had left me. I took out a gray woven coat with a blazing red, furry hood for me. I also took a black and white striped cotton coat with a black hood and handed it to Peeta. I think Cinna had put some clothes for Peeta too for circumstances like these. Oh how I miss him.
"Here," I said.
He took it from my hand and stared at for a moment with an unconvinced look as if deciding to wear it or not.
"Look, Katniss. I'm wet and I don't think I'd want to wear this and wet it myself," he said, handing it back to me.
I laughed out loud. "It's okay!"
"And about your house, I think I kind of messed it up. Drops of water are all over the stairs and I uhmm… scratched the post, wall, and door in front of the house," he blurted out. Peeta avoided my look and lowered his head.
He's cute when he gets all shy.
This made me laugh even harder. I just wore my coat and left the room. Peeta followed.
I made a few steps and stopped at the top of the stairs.
"Where is it? I don't see any- AHHHH!"
I was cut off in midsentence when I almost slipped down the stairs. Luckily, Peeta grabbed my arm and got hold of me.
He pulled me closer to him in an instant and hugged me. Everything was happening too fast. But I would say I liked it. His arm was around my back and the other was gently rubbing on my hair. He was muttering something but I couldn't hear it. My face was buried on his chest.
I lifted my arms and hugged him back. He really was wet. I tried to breathe in and catch some of his scent but I think it was washed away. Too bad, I thought.
I thought he wasn't going to do it but he eventually did let go. I looked at him straight in the eyes and I did the same. Then, he cleared his throat and spoke.
"We better get going and be careful," he warned. He really looked worried.
"Jeez. I'm perfectly fine," I said.
He held a tight grip on my hand and led the way downstairs, to avoid slipping on some puddles of water scattered everywhere. It was still raining so I got an umbrella from the umbrella stand beside the front door. Peeta took hold of it and covered us from the pouring rain.
We walked in a zigzag path outside because there were a lot of puddles. We were on our way to Peeta's. I remembered about Peeta mentioning this Dr. Woods this morning.
"So, what about Dr. Woods?" I asked him.
"He's gonna be our therapist, Katniss. I think he's gonna heal us from the traumatic events we'd had," he explained.
"I really wish he could. I want to be me again, the me I was way back before the revolution, before the Games," I said.
"He better cure us. The venom in me is attacking me like crazy!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah. You better take care of yourself," I said and looked at him in the face.
"I do," he said, smiling. But he did not look at me. "Haymitch is not here."
"Where is he?"
"He's at the Capitol to see Effie."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
Our conversation was getting a bit dull.
We arrived at Peeta's front door. He closed the umbrella and put it in an umbrella stand. We went in and he closed the door behind us.
Peeta's house was much like mine's. I think the only difference was the walls here were painted blue. Plus, it's much cleaner than mine, like it hasn't been really used. The tiles were so polished and the curtains hung so perfectly. The sofa in the living room looks like it hasn't been sat on before.
I took of my coat and hung it over a chair. We went upstairs and stepped in his bedroom. Pretty much like mine too, I thought. He took of his coat and laid it on his bed. I sat on his bed and looked at the window. It was still raining outside.
Peeta took some clothes from his closet and brought it with him in the bathroom. I stood up from his bed and went outside of his room. I saw a door left slightly ajar beside his room. I pushed the open door and switched the light on.
The room was filled with Peeta's paintings. My mouth hung open at the sight of this. The four sides of the room were lined with different masterpieces. Most of them were me. Some were about the Games, the revolution, and some of the pastries he used to bake.
I tried to touch a painting of my mockingjay pin. I felt it was full of life. I also tried to look at each one of the paintings, even though most of them scared me. I don't look at my images too much. The artwork I loved the most was his painting of a small bright lemon yellow dandelion in the middle of a canvas. That small thing meant so much to me.
I looked at the wall and noticed that it was filled with colors too.
"Oh my gosh! Peeta!"
The walls were full of different colors. There were shades of blue, pink, purple, green, and pale orange. Of course, his favorite color. The paints even reached the ceiling. I imagined Peeta climbing a ladder holding a can of paint and a paint brush on the other.
I was going to run to Peeta back in his room and tell him how proud I am for him when this painting of me caught my attention.
My eyes are dark colored. But the way he painted it, it seemed to have so much color and beauty. He gave life to my eyes. I walked towards it.
"I look… beautiful."
"Yes you do." a voice from the door said. I turned to look. It was Peeta. Who else could it be?
"I paint what I see. That's what I see whenever I look into your eyes, Katniss," he explained.
"You sure have a creative mind right there, Peeta," I joked.
He already changed his clothes and he smells so fresh right now. He went to a small cabinet and opened it. He got some paint and 2 paintbrushes out of there.
"This is incredible, Peeta!" I exclaimed.
"Thank you! I really love to paint," he replied with a smile.
He got two canvases and put it on the floor beside me. He sat right there and I sat beside him. He cleared his throat and spoke.
"There are three basic steps in painting. First, you ready your materials." He gestured at the materials. I nodded. "Next?"
"Second, you think of what to paint," he said. "What do you have in mind?"
"I don't know. We'll just skip number 2. And third?" I asked.
"You can't do number 3 without doing number 2," Peeta explained.
"What's number 3?" I asked.
"The hardest. Paint," he answered and we both laughed.
"What? I was expecting you to be a bit more specific in this procedure," I said.
"You have to paint with feelings. More like, paint what you feel and feel what you paint," he cleared. "Like this."
He closed his eyes for a minute and opened it. He dipped his paintbrush on some paint and brushed it with such a gentle stroke across the canvas. I looked into his eyes and watch those ocean blue ones look around the canvas.
I stared hard at his painting, wondering what it would be this time since he had already painted almost all things I could think of. There are times when he would just close his eyes and brush it on the canvas without looking at it.
After a few minutes, he was done.
"I told you. You have to feel it," he said.
He showed it to me and it was an abstract piece of art. It was full of different hues and shades that gave it such a strong appearance. I couldn't really tell what it was. It was everything, if that was possible.
"What will you call that?" I asked.
"I really don't know," he answered and in a confused tone.
"Step number 2. You think of what to paint. What is that?" I examined.
He bowed his head. "Well, it was… it was… your voice."
I quickly turned pink. I looked away. What? I thought.
"What do you mean?" I queried.
He finally looked up to me. His face was red like mine.
"I heard you singing today like when we were five years old back then. So I thought why not try to paint what I heard. So I painted it the way I felt it. Like I said, paint what you feel and feel while you paint," he mumbled softly.
I didn't know what to say. I ran out of words to speak. I was simply speechless.
After a long pause, he spoke.
"Well say something."
That time, I knew exactly what to say. "I'm not good at saying something."
Spoiler Alert: They're coming on Chapter 5! Find out who they are... :D
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