Sorry! There are so many spelling errors in this that it's scary, but it's late and I'll forget to post if I leave this until tomorrow. So here it is.

And somethign actually happens in this chapter! All those other chaopters were jsut for people to know who Eddie is and stuff. Thisb is actually something happening!

Disclaimer: I would totoally have released Breakoing dawn by now if I owned it or the rights to it becasue the suspense is actually killing me!!

It was dark in the clearing. And cold. So cold. The type of cold that seemed to drill into your skin, hurting you all over with such an intense pain that you went numb after a few seconds of being exposed to it. Yeah, so it was cold.

But the numbness was nice. It made me feel… nothing. No desperate longing. No wishing that things were different. All that I could think of was the cold. Or the fact that I should feel cold but didn't because I was numb.

Would Gran wonder where I was? Somehow I doubted it. She was probably lying in her warm bed, muttering to herself about the rudeness of teenagers these days.

"-didn't even come to dinner… ungrateful little…" I blinked hard, blocking the thoughts from my mind. I hadn't come here to think. I'd come ere to stop thinking. To just let myself be exposed to the wide, bare, ruthless world that was so similar to the one that I lived in. All the birds huddled up in their nests knew that life wasn't fair. The bears in their caves knew. The worms probably even knew. So why couldn't I just accept it like they did?

Maybe I was selfish. Maybe I wanted my life to work out so much, that even the vague idea of it not working out caused this much pain. Or maybe I was different. Weird. I'd fallen in love with a mind-reading vampire-type-creature who'd never spoken a word to me because he'd saved me from my criminal parents. I mean, how much weirder could one person get?

I closed my eyes again. Focussing on emptying my mind. It was harder than usual, not thinking. It could've been because, out here in the middle of a clearing buried deep in the woods behind my house, there was to do but think. The lucky little birds and bears and worms were probably asleep by now, sheltering from the piercing cold. That's what any sensible creature would be doing. That's what I should've been doing.

But clearly I'd already established that I'm far from sensible. Which is probably why, when a mournful howl echoed from somewhere to my right, I didn't register it until much later.

Instead of registering the howl, I opened my eyes again and took in the scenery around me. Granted, it was very dark, so I couldn't see much of the scenery in anything but varying shades of black (which really don't vary much, because there's only really black and blacker and blackest, which all seem to blend into each other a little bit anyway) but, having been here often enough before to imagine scenery through the blackness, I could take in some scenery.

The clearing stretched no more than ten metres on any side around me, and I was sitting more or less in the middle anyway. To my right, far, far, far to my right, there was my house. About a mile away. Maybe further. And to my left, a winding dirt path snaked out of sight, heading in the general direction of the river. I knew for a fact that if you followed that river for long enough you'd pass the Cullen's house. It was a long way though, and I'd only bothered to make the walk a couple of times.

In front of me and behind were the rest of the woods. They curved away in a thick band all the way to the long beach at La Push, where they finally gave way to sand and rocks. But La Push was even further away than the Cullen's house, and I'd never had any reason to go there.

The howl came again, this time from closer. This time I did notice it, but after a quick look around me, I went back to my thoughts. No sane animal would hunt at this time of night. It had to be close to midnight already.

My thoughts wandered away again, back to their usual topic: me. What was I supposed to do now? IO couldn't stay here in Forks, that much was clear. All I was doing was upsetting everyone. My Gran hated me anyway, and I was stuffing up Lalo's life. Neither of them deserved what I was doing to them. But where could I go, and how? And even it I did go, I knew, deep down, that I wouldn't change anything. I'd always been 'The Girl Who Loves Edward Cullen'. I was always going to be that girl. Whether I liked it or not.

It was at that point of my thoughts, that the worst thought that I'd ever had came into my head. It drifted in, just like any other thought might, but the panic that it caused coursed through my body like poison, making my heart hammer erratically in my chest and my head swirl sickly.

I wished he'd never saved me. I wish he'd killed me, just like my parents, that he hadn't saved me and left me like this, to spend my entire life missing him – loving him.

It was a terrible thing to think. I wished I were dead. Even my strange, insane mind knew that, to think something like that, was truly sick. What sort of person wishes they were dead? I was a teenager, not even an adult yet. I had so much of my life ahead of me, so much of a reason to live. And yet, with all of the pain that I could feel inside of me, I wished that it would go. I was willing to sacrifice myself to get rid of that pain.

Or was I?

Another howl ripped through the cold night air, this one close enough to make me stand quickly and spin to face the source of the noise. It might've been better for me if I hadn't spun.

A bear stood at the edge of the clearing, less than ten metres away from me, it's cold, hungry eyes fixed on me. It was standing on all fours, but even like that it was enormous, its huge bulk towering over me. I started to shiver. The bear let out a rough growl, taking a step closer to me.

Already I could feel the numbness setting in. But not numbness like that from the cold. This was real, final. My body was getting ready for me to die. And, even as I realised that and the last of my blood drained from my pale face, I also realised that I'd been wrong, at leats partly.

Because my mind was screaming at me to turn and run. To escape. To live. Somehow, in some small, almost impossible to reach corner of my mind, there was a part of me that still had hope, that still desperately wanted the chance to live for another day, week, month year. A part of me that wanted to be alive for the future. So maybe a part of me thought that there was slimmest of slim chances that I would be able to heal. To change. To be me again. Not 'The Girl Who Loves Edward Cullen'.

Just Eddie.

Just a girl.

A person who goes to school and flirts with boys and stresses about exams. A normal person.

The bear growled again, showing its teeth. Its shaggy brown fur was tangled around its mouth, bits of gore still stuck there. I resisted the urge to puke. Now definitely wasn't the time.

It took another step closer.

I tensed, waiting for it to pounce.

It tensed to, getting ready to pounce.

There was a moment, maybe a second, maybe a minute, where everything was still. The sounds of the night had switched off. Nothing moved. No breeze whispered through the trees and no drops of rain pattered softly to the ground. There was complete silence. And in that moment, that impossible extent of time that felt like a decade, I realised that something was wrong. The bear should've attacked by now. It should've pounced. Except for one, key issue. Bears don't pounce. They use their superior size to overwhelm their prey, crushing it. They don't attack on all fours, at leats not defenceless people. And besides, bears don't pause. They don't creep towards people, tormenting them, letting them realise that they're going to die, making them suffer before ending their pathetic life. Bears don't feel cruel satisfaction. They don't find pleasure in other's pain. They kill to eat, not for any other purpose. Only people kill for pleasure.

I smiled.

The bear – wolf – looked taken aback. As in, his expression, so solid and ruthless, actually faltered. His eyebrows furrowed in a very human expression. I smiled even wider.

"You're a werewolf."

The animal's body shuddered, as if a miniature earthquake and rocked through it. Then it began to change. The sight wasn't pretty. It wasn't a smooth, fluid change; you know, with the head changing first, then the body and finally the legs. Oh no. It was awkward and it looked painful. Thankfully, most of it was blocked by the darkness and the person emerging from the huge shape stepped back once they could, so that their face was impossible for me to see.

"Who are you?" The voice was male, but it sounded rough and throaty, as if the person hadn't talked much for a while.

"Eddie."

"Why are you here?"

I shrugged, staring avidly at the vague shape in front of me. I couldn't see the person clearly, but they looked big. Tall, with muscles evident in their arms. I couldn't see anything at all above their shoulders and very little below their chest. I wondered if they were staying in the dark for a reason.

"I come here sometimes, when I'm upset."

"Well don't."

I frowned. No strange man who just emerged from the body of an over-sized wolf was going to tell me what to do.

"Why not?" I asked stubbornly, not tyring at all to hide my anger.

The man seemed a bit confused at my tone. What had he expected? For me to be whimpering in terror? Nothing could hurt me more than my thoughts. I was sure of that.

"Just don't," he insisted, and I was surprised to hear the childish tone in his voice.

I shrugged again, un-phased and turned to walk away. It was time to go home.

"Do you promise?" Again, his tone was child-like. It reminded me of a kid asking his friends not to dob him in for breaking a rule at school. It almost made me laugh. Almost.

I smiled again, not bothering to look back as I continued walking. "I'm not promising you anything."

I was already quite a way back down the path that led to my house when I heard the growl. I stopped and looked behind me, unsurprised when the same enormous wolf appeared. His teeth were bared threateningly, and I could tell he was trying to make me promise. I stayed silent, staring back into his watery eyes.

"I'm not promising you anything," I repeated, not reacting when he growled again, his foul breath fanning my face. I did, however, turn my head to the side and cough conspicuously. "You need some toothpaste," I added as an afterthought.

He growled again, louder this time, more aggressive. More of the disgusting stench wafter across my face. I coughed again, but didn't step away as I looked back at him.

"It's not your clearing. And I'll bet that whatever you're going through – you know, being a werewolf and all – that it isn't nearly as stuffed up as I am."

He looked confused again, and this time I almost found the expression endearing. Poor, clueless werewolf.

I turned around, away from him and started walking back towards my house. It would only take a few minutes if I walked fast to be in my nice warm bed. And I was sure not to think of Edward Cullen at all tonight. Or at least not as much as usual.

The sound of crunching leaves made me glance back again, and I smiled at the sight of a huge wolf perched back on his haunches, staring at me with narrowed eyes. He was like any other dog, only about ten times as big, looking at me with that expression that dogs always had when their owner had tricked them by cheating them of their food or something. Yes, it was definitely endearing.

My gaze wandered back to the woods ahead of me as I picked my way along the winding track. I stopped suddenly, realising something, and ran back a bit to find the werewolf still sitting there staring at me.

"You can't change with clothes on," I said bluntly, holding back a laugh. That's why he'd been standing in the darkness. He'd been naked. I giggled a bit, unable to keep it in, before raising my eyebrows in request of an answer. The werewolf nodded curtly, avoiding my eyes. I smiled widely. He was embarrassed. That was cute. Then I left, this time with no intention of going back.

It was still dark and still cold. Very cold. But it didn't really matter. I'd laughed. Actually laughed. Maybe that tiny little corner of my mind was right. Maybe I could get better. Sure, the pain of love would never go away, but it could lessen. It could become so totally insignificant that I barely felt it. I let the idea of that bliss sustain me all the way to my bedroom window, slipping open and sliding inside.

My bed was cold when I got into it. Cold like the skin of a vampire (or whatever Edward Cullen was). But I wasn't. Warmth leaked from every pore in my skin. My heart pumped warm blood around my body, heating the sheets around me. I was alive. And grateful. For what felt like the first time in ages, I was looking forward to tomorrow. Who knew what new things it would bring?

Review? Seriously, say anything. I even like criticism cos it gives me chance to argue my case.