Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Chapter 4

Crazy

A few months had gone by since I left. Miranda was mad at me for leaving her and the way I left her brother. I couldn't tell her why I left him either. She looked up to him. It would crush her to know that he hit me. If keeping her family together meant sacrificing my relationship with her then I would do it. Her whole family would fall apart if they knew; I just couldn't do that to her. I loved her too much.

My mother called frequently and yelled in every voicemail. She was only worried about what people thought about the whole situation. People thought I ran away with another man. I'm sure Shane planted that seed in everyone's head. Mother said I was disgracing the family and needed to come back to Shane. She thought I belonged with him. After all, he was rich and of high social status, that's the kind of person she wanted me with. I'm very sure that even if I told her he hit me that she would tell me to suck it up and behave, because I would be marrying into good money. He would give me a good life and it would mean she could brag about how successful he was. My mother had always been like that. She had tried to tell me how to live my life every step of the way. She would flip if she seen Renji.

My father was almost opposite of mother. He loved me for me and wanted me to live life my way. He told me he would always be proud of me no matter who I married or what my career was. I often wondered why dad married mother. What did he see in her? He claims she hasn't always been this way and that all she wants is for me to have a good life. He loves her. I wish I could see in her what he does. Maybe our relationship wouldn't be strained then.

None of that really mattered anymore. I was far away from them and hadn't communicated with anyone from my old life in months. I had a new life and it was with Renji. With each passing day, I fell more in love him and he had to be falling for me too. He didn't leave me as much now. He stayed the night with me often. He was no longer cold. He was sweet and funny. We had it all in my eyes and no one could take that away from me.

Renji never wanted to go out on an actual date. He liked staying in. I usually begged him to go out to eat or to a movie, but her never gave in. So tonight we rented a movie to watch. Honestly not very much watching was going on though.

He was sitting on the couch and I was in his lap. We were kissing and it was getting pretty intense. I have to say that I didn't mind it. He kissed extremely well. Every time we touch I felt a rush of energy move through me, so I liked to touch him often.

"Lieutenant Abarai!" said a stern voice.

Renji pushed me onto the couch and stood up.

"Captain Kuchiki." Said Renji respectfully.

This Kuchiki guy had a beautiful face, but his expression was cold. He was slightly shorter than Renji with long black hair and gray eyes. He had these intricate, white head pieces in is hair.

"You should come with me." The Kuchiki guy said calmly.

Renji turned his head to look at me. I saw sorrow in his eyes. What was going on here to make Renji look sad?

"Yes sir." Renji said with some sadness in his voice.

Renji pulls his sword out, sticks it in the air and turns it as if he's opening something with a key. Suddenly a door appears and the two go through the door and it disappears.

I didn't see Renji for the next few days. Could he have gotten in trouble for staying with me? Maybe he told me too much. I shouldn't have pried him for information. This is my fault; he could be dead or something.

I was cooking dinner when I felt like someone was behind me. I turned and Renji was standing there.

"OH! U scared me; don't be sneaking up on me like that!"

I wonder how he got in. I looked around and saw an open window. He must have came in through there, even though I was 5 stories up. I never questioned how he got in. It would probably be some kind of weird trick.

I hugged him tight. "You really had me worried. Don't be gone for so long next time."

His body was stiff and he wasn't hugging me back.

He pulled me off him and looked at me with that emotionless face he had when we first met.

"We need to talk Kristen."

The tone in his voice insisted that it was something bad and I didn't like it.

He walked me over to the couch and sat me down.

"Kristen, we can't be together anymore."

I felt my heart sink. "What? Why?"

"You always asked me what I was and now I'm going to tell you. I'm a soul reaper. I'm dead."

"I don't understand. If you're dead, how come you don't have the chain?"

"It's complicated."

"I don't believe you. It was the Kuchiki guy, this was all his fault! Everything was fine until he came along."

"Look in the mirror, Kristen. I have no reflection. No one else can see me."

I looked in mirror on the other side of the room and he was right, he didn't have a reflection.

"Am I going insane? Are you just a figment of my imagination?"

"Maybe I am."

"You're not real. I made you up. I didn't know anyone here and needed someone, someone to save me from the horrible life I had. No wonder you were so perfect…"

"Goodbye Kristen."

He was gone.

Tears started rolling down my face. Of course he wasn't real, none of this was. My powers did not exist. I made them up to make me strong. But I'm not strong, I'm weak.

The next couple of weeks passed me by. Renji was gone, my powers were gone…none of it was real. My life wasn't better; it was just in a different country. I turned down most of my photo shoots. I didn't feel like going anywhere. I just wanted to stay here.

I eventually ran out of food and had to go to the store. It was pretty late but I knew a store right down the street that was open all night. I decided to walk since it was pretty close.

I was crossing the street on my way home when I noticed something standing on the other side. It was a man and he had a…chain coming out of his chest. I stopped in my tracks in the middle of the street and dropped my bags.

"N...No. You're not real, go away. I'm not crazy!"

But it didn't go away; it stood there and looked at me. I started crying and shaking my head. This was not real. Why is this happening to me? I can't be crazy!

I heard a faint sound. It sounded like a car horn, but muffled. I turned and seen headlights coming at me. Everything went black.

The blackness lasted for a long time. My hearing came back soon though, and from what the people around me where saying I was in a coma. I couldn't make myself open my eyes or mouth. I couldn't move either. I heard my mother and father talking. How could they be here? Am I even still in Japan?

It seemed like several days passed, but I didn't know how long it had been. I had no way of keeping time. I was growing tired of not being able to see or move or speak. I wondered if I would be this way the rest of my life until one day I was able to move my hand a little.

"Howard look, she's moving her hand!" my mother exclaimed.

Then I was able to open my eyes.

"She's opening her eyes, go get the doctor." My mother said as she walked over to me.

She started talking to me, but I ignored her. I wasn't really up for a conversation at the moment. I turned my head and looked out the window to shows the hallway. I was shocked at who I saw standing there. It couldn't be, could it? It was Renji.

As soon as we made eye contact, he turned to leave.

"Renji?" I whispered.

It hurt to talk. I suppose it was because I hadn't spoke in some time.

He didn't respond to me. But my mother did.

"What did you say Kristen?"

I ignored her.

"Renji?" I said a little louder.

He still didn't respond and I was getting mad. He was walking slowly and wasn't very far from my door. I knew he could hear me.

"RENJI!!" I cried out full of emotion.

The walls started shaking and things started turning over and falling in the floor. It was my powers. They were real and so was Renji.

I pulled all the cords off of me and ran toward him.

"RENJI!" I screamed.

He stopped, but didn't turn around, and hung his head down.

I stood in front of him and touched his face. I felt the surge of energy run thought me and I closed my I eyes. I missed this. He placed his hand on mine, but only to remove it from his face.

He looked up at me and said "Don't."

"Why? Renji, I love you."

I can't believe I just told him that. It just kind of came out. It's the truth, so I guess he needed to know.

"I don't love you." He said with an emotionless face

My heart sunk, and tears streamed down my face.

He didn't seem to care. He just ignored me and walked off.

I couldn't believe he just said that to me. I fell to my knees and started to sob.

"Kristen, what's wrong?" my dad asked.

I just continued to sob

"Who where you talking to?" he asked.

I looked up at him. "His name is Renji."

"What?'

"The guy I was talking to was named Renji."

"Kristen, there wasn't a guy there. You were talking to yourself."

"What?! No I wasn't! He was here dad, you have to believe me!"

These two large guys grabbed me.

"Let me go!"

I tried to fight them but couldn't get away. They dragged me to my room. I was still going on about Renji. Why wouldn't they believe me?

"You're telling me my daughter is crazy?" sobbed my mother to the doctor.

The large guy put me in my bed and strapped me to it.

"Why in the hell are you strapping me to the bed? It's not like I'm a psycho or anything!"

The two guys just laughed at me.

"I'm not crazy!"

"That's what they all say." Said one the guys still laughing.

I can't believe they actually think I'm a crazy. I could hear my parent talking to the doctor.

"I think we should admit her to the psychiatric ward. We did some checking into things and she hadn't been going to work. Her neighbors said she stayed at home all the time and usually had the lights off. That behavior isn't normal. She may be depressed and we don't want her to hurt herself. She also just exhibited so abnormal behavior by talking to herself and assuring us that she was talking to an actual person. It's possible she may be schizophrenic." Said the doctor.

"She has never been this way before. She was perfectly normal when she was at home." Mom explained.

"In some people, schizophrenia appears suddenly and without warning." The doctor explained.

Whatever. I did not have schizophrenia. I may have thought I imagined all this before, but now I know I didn't. I'm not going to listen to that doctor talk about me when he doesn't know anything about me. I would go to the stupid psychiatric ward to prove to them I wasn't crazy.