As we traipse towards the sign of the fire, lead only by the smell of smoke, we collect the boy from 12, Peeta, after a large debate over whether to kill him or not. Cato argues that he's our only hope of finding that Katniss girl – I guess he's still annoyed at her 11 in training. That I can relate to.
We travel through the woods until a little bit furthur and see flames flickering in the distance, getting closer and closer. We don't even bother being quiet; chances are they'll be too cold to be listening. We reach a clearing in the bushes and see a terrified girl with her mouth open in a scream. A mixture of knives, misshot arrows and spears hit her before she can retaliate. The audience will love this. My first team kill.
We wave our torches around for a bit because her cannon hasn't sounded. Surely we're far away enough for the body to be collected? Peeta surprises us all by yelling at us about wasting time. He goes back to finish her off. Wow. Guess he's tougher than I thought. The others must be thinking the same thing because Glimmer raises an eyebrow at Cato but he's only looking at me. I smile and shrug at the same time. Glimmer moves closer to him to attract his attention with another flirt, but I scratch my neck with my left hand, casually revealing Cato's ring. The corner of his mouth twitches and, before she can say anything, he brushes her off and we move forward. She looks confused for a moment, but not hurt – I bet her flirts have never been rejected before – but she regains her composure and moves on with the rest of us. Marvel seems pretty happy about this. I wink at him. I think I would be friends with him if we weren't here.
I don't think he'll guess about the significance of the ring; he might not have even seen it, but he knows that something I did triggered something inside of Cato, which stopped Glimmer. So I'm not the only one with a little crush-jealousy in here.
It makes me want to laugh when I think of what Katniss would think if she saw Peeta with us now. Pathetic … but then I think of my reaction to seeing Cato's betrayal to me, if that's what you should call it, and I'm suddenly a lot more sympathetic. I banish that thought from my mind. I am a built warrior, I do not feel – I cannot feel. I am immune to sympathy and love and hurt; only fighting instinct is inside of me. Yes, that's right. Survival is key.
That night we return to the Cornucopia. Everyone else drifts off to sleep more or less straight away, but I can't. I can't get used to the arena; I'm not built for wilderness. Back in 1, during my preparation training, I was just taught to kill. Nothing on fires or foraging was even thought of there. Just violence. Not that I can complain – people that learn like me have a better chance of winning. And right now, that's all I should be concerned about.
After a while of sitting and throwing knives into the grass occasionally, a small voice perks up. "You can't sleep either?" Cato.
I look at him questioningly. "No."
He pauses. "That a new knife?"
"Yeah. Found it in the pile."
"Mm." I just sit silently for a moment, before asking the question that has plagued my mind since we got here: "Why'd you do it?"
"Do what?" he asks, a little too innocently perhaps. But I think we both know what I'm talking about.
I waggle my ring hand about a bit and he laughs. "S'like I said. Want to have accomplished something before I leave." Leave what? I think. Could he mean the Games, as a victor? Or even … life?
I flick my hand through the air. "Volunteering is a big enough accomplishment in itself, Cato."
"S'pose. But it doesn't have a … personal value," he replies delicately.
I wrinkle my nose. "Then … why me? There's plenty of pretty girls back home, and, let's be honest, I'm not exactly in their crowd. I mean, look at me. I'm tiny." Which is true. Although perfectly well fed and nourished, being born premature has had a negative effect on me. I am naturally petite, though I could use this to my advantage – I can easily dodge attacks – but that wasn't what we were taught in training. Freeze, flight, or fight? And dodging in District 1 is almost like laying down in defeat.
"You're just ... sweet. And you can fight," he adds with a vicious glint in his eye. "I just don't want to die without leaving my mark. And knowing that, somewhere far away, someone actually loves me."
I stare at him. I have never been spoken to in this way before; the people from 1 are hardly feeling. Suddenly, he shrugs and regains his usual, cold-blooded temperament. "All tactical stuff, of course," he grunts with a dark laugh. "Best of both worlds then, right?"
Before I can say something in return, he turns back over. I am just left thinking: why didn't I say something? Something emotional. But then I remember. It's probably all just lies for the camera. The only reason he wouldn't have proposed to Glimmer instead is because he wants our district to be honoured, not hers. "Of course," I agree in a disheartened whisper, "just tactics."
