She sinks to her chin in a tub full of bubbles with her hair secured into a clip. She takes a sip of her chocolate milk, and looks over at her husband. His grin has faded into a look of concern.
"Claire, are you okay?"
"No, I am not okay."
"Talk to me," he begs.
"How could I have been so stupid?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Phil, they estimated gestation at twelve weeks. How did I miss all of the signs? I have been pregnant all of this time, and I didn't know it."
"It doesn't matter," he argues.
"I feel like an idiot."
"We have been really busy lately."
Her face cracks, and a hint of grin breaks out, "Obviously we spent a little too much time getting busy."
"This isn't something that we have talked about in a long time," he points out.
"I think that it is a little late to talk about it now," she adds.
"No, it's not."
She furrows her brow, "What are you saying?"
"That you're not wrong. We are in our forties, we are not getting any younger. All three of the kids are nearly out of the house. We would be completely starting over. It wouldn't be easy."
"You love babies," she points out.
"And you absolutely hate being pregnant."
"I love our kids."
"Why are you so upset?"
"I finally stopped feeling guilty. I like my job, it keeps me sane, and I don't feel bad about the time that I spend away from you guys. I am going to have to quit my job, and spend the next lifetime chasing…"
He cuts her off, "No. Claire we are a team. You are not going to quit your job. Your job keeps all of us sane. We just have to figure out a new game plan. What do you want to do?"
"Stay in this bathtub until I turn into a puddle."
"Be serious."
"I don't want to be serious, Phil. I just found out that I have been pregnant for the last three months, with twins, and I just found out."
"It is my fault, I know."
"You didn't do it alone. I am mad at myself, because I didn't want to see it. I feel bad, because…" she trails off.
"You can say it."
"I didn't want this. This was not a road that I wanted to go down again."
"What are you saying?"
"I don't want to believe this. I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am pregnant."
"I don't know what to say," he admits.
"You don't have to say anything."
"I love you no matter what you feel, or think, or do," he reminds her.
"I'm scared," she reveals, in a small voice.
"We're old," he agrees.
"And rusty," she adds.
"Our kids are pretty awesome, though."
"Phil?"
"Yeah, Claire?"
"I have a proposal."
"What is that?"
"Phil Dunphy would you have a couple more babies with me?"
"Yes, Claire Dunphy, I would love to have a couple more babies with you."
"You have to change all of the diapers."
"I accept that challenge, as you have to gestate them, and give birth to them."
"How are we going to tell the kids?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe we should wait until we find out the gender, and convert the girl's old room into a nursery, and let them accidentally stumble upon it."
"I was hoping for a surprise."
"It will be a surprise to them."
"No, the gender."
"I can't keep it a surprise."
"Don't you want a surprise?"
"I just got the biggest surprise of my life, Phil. I can't handle any more surprises. I started my day thinking that I might be going through menopause, only to find out that I am not. Instead, I am three months pregnant with twins."
"Can I be stoked, now?"
"If you do it elsewhere, I am going to savor this quiet time, alone in the bathtub. I have a feeling these moments will soon be few, and far between."
"The more the merrier."
"No more. The gates will be closing after this. That decision is final."
"But I…"
"You are a chicken, I am not."
"That is why I love you. You are not a chicken. You are brave enough to give me three beautiful kids, and crazy enough to give me two more at the same time."
"You are not helping."
"Sorry, I am just going to go eat some more ice cream, down stairs, where I won't say the wrong thing to my pregnant, hormonal wife."
"Go away."
"I'm already gone."
