CHAPTER 4

Sarah was seething. She wanted to slap Jessica Andrews hard enough to knock her teeth out and that smirk from her face.

"Hey, hey, hey, everything is fair game. If you really believed this was going to stay off the record, you're just not thinking about how high the interest still is in what happened. You know that your fans want to know about."

"Actually I thought my fans would be more interested in my book and not the events of almost two years ago. It isn't only me that your question impacts, it brings it all back into the lives of everyone who knew these people, cared for these people and miss these people. I hope that if the day ever arises that someone has the opportunity and the means to expose your pain for the entertainment of others, they have the good grace and integrity not to do so." With that Sarah unclipped the microphone attached to her blouse, grabbed her bag and walked out. She was walking so fast, she left her assistant, Janelle Thompson trailing behind her, trying to catch up.

Outside the television studio, Sarah began shaking so violently she thought she might be having a seizure. She hadn't wanted to do the show. She hadn't wanted to come to New York as part of the book tour. She had reluctantly agreed once her agent convinced her how important the New York market was to the success of any book. She'd had two non-negotiable stipulations. One, she wouldn't appear at any of the Barnes and Nobles in New York, and two; she would not talk about the murders or any of the events surrounding them. On the surface, everyone was very agreeable about it. 'New York AM' obviously didn't feel bound by their agreement to respect the restrictions. Janelle tried calming her down and hailing a cab at the same time to get them back to their hotel.

Even after two years, Sarah thought back to what she was only able to refer to as 'the events'. First, there were the deaths of her agent, Amanda Cartwright and her assistant Kelly Jacobs. Angela Simpson had been Sarah's best friend for years, had also been the special events coordinator for Barnes and Nobles, and had handled all of Sarah's book signings up until this current tour. Angela, David and their infant son, Sean had also died that day. Michael's kidnapping of her. There had been the standoff and shootout between Michael and Bobby. And her eventual rescue by Bobby and Alex. All those events so painful and disastrous for everyone involved. No one had come out of it untouched.

"I know, I know, that bitch took a cheap shot. You handled it well. She didn't get what she was after and you made her look bad. You did great." Janelle said as she bundled Sarah into the cab. "I'm sure that the phone calls are already flying back and forth between the lawyers."

"That must be why I feel so great." Sarah said sarcastically.

"Look, you had to know that it was going to come up…."

"Which is why I didn't want to come to New York, and especially why I didn't want to do a show like 'New York A.M.'".

Janelle had worked with Sarah for the last three weeks. Which was long enough now to know now was not the time to press her, now was the time to allow Sarah some quiet time. Not that Sarah was difficult or anything. If anything, working on the book tour with Sarah had been the easiest three week gig she'd ever had. She was seriously thinking of asking Sarah if she needed a full time assistant, especially now, knowing that Sarah had decided to move back to New York.

Sarah leaned back into the cushions of the seat and thought about her life so far. Her life had been as unremarkable as most until her parent's death just before her college graduation. It had been a car accident on the Long Island Expressway. Their car had been forced off the road by a drunk driver and flipped over. Fourteen years later, and it still weighed heavily on her.

Being an only child of only children, she had inherited her parent's brownstone and with the combined insurance payouts, she gutted the home and turned it into four multi-level condominium apartments, which she rented out, with the help of a management company. Until two years ago, she had occupied one, which until recently she had leased out.

Her ex-boyfriend Michael's rampage through her life two years ago had shaken her so much, that she'd needed time and distance to find peace with the events. Even though she had written crime dramas for years, the brutal and graphic murders of her agent and assistant, Angela Cartwright and Kelly Bishop had been her first real life experience with the brutality of murder. The deaths of her best friend Angie, her husband David and their infant son, Sean followed only hours later. Then, for his last act of violence before taking his own life, he had lured current boyfriend to an isolated cabin by kidnapping her. His plan had been to kill Bobby and then himself. This would leave Sarah completely alone to face the guilt and sorrow of being the only one left.

His plan had worked although not entirely the way he envisioned. Bobby hadn't died, he'd barely been injured. But Sarah had been consumed by guilt and sorrow and had wound up pushing Bobby so far away that they'd lost each other.

Not long after the deaths an opportunity to write the screenplay for her first novel had landed at her doorstep. With her having such a terrible time getting any kind of balance or peace back into her life, she had been convinced that this was a perfect opportunity to start chapter in her life. As much as she felt the need to run away, she hadn't wanted to leave Bobby.

She knew he'd never be able to leave New York. His position as a detective with the NYPD's Major Case Squad was integral to which he was. She had often kidded him that he'd do the job free, if they wouldn't pay him. It was what he was born to do.

There was also the matter of his mother and her health. He was the only family member to visit her at Carmel Ridge. She had lived there for the last dozen years. His father and his brother had abandoned both of them years before. Sarah knew he would never leave her.

After weeks of growing distance between Sarah and Bobby after Michael's attack on Bobby, Sarah broached the subject one night at dinner. Initially Bobby didn't react at all. He sat there looking at his salad. Almost as if he hadn't heard her. Then slowly, carefully he told her he thought that her going to California might be a good idea. She sat there unable to breathe. She realized this was THE moment.

He sat there in front of her, but she could see that he had already left this relationship. There was no reason left for her to stay. If Bobby could so easily walk away, there really was no reason for her to stay and try to piece back a life together with him. She hadn't envisioned things ending like that. She had held out a small hope that he'd tell her not to go, that together they could get through this, and put the horror behind them. He hadn't, he'd just let her go. He'd actually encouraged her to go. It was over. Quietly, with no bitterness or anger, just regrets.

Over the next few weeks, he'd helped her pack; everything had been civil, very polite. Bobby had even driven her to the airport.

Sarah was jolted back to the present by the jarring of the cab hitting a pothole. She heard Janelle say she was going to book her several spa treatments for the rest of the day. It would relax her and help put her in the proper mood for the book signing tomorrow night.

"Fine, fine." Sarah murmured as she laid her head back and closed her eyes right now wishing she'd never heard of New York.