A/N: See… it's Sunday and we promised an update. We deliver the goods don't we? Some of you might be a bit pissed that we feature a repeat of their morning encounter for a bit in both POV's, but this is the last time. We Swear. Hell, next chapter they even spend actual time together… can you believe that shit?
Onto the other crap… there are pictures of their outfits on our respective profiles. We are also working on another collaboration for ninapolitan's DILF contest, which CPW already entered once.
Speaking of contests… CPW and kikikinz (aka beaker) are running an Esme Erotic Ecstasy Contest. The link is on my profile. They already have three submittals and some awesome authors are confirmed to be entering, so enter… or read and vote. Either way, help support the Esme Love.
Any questions? No… good. You can find us on twitter, and on CPW's blog, she will be offering up MIFFY Teasers.
We don't own Twilight, although we do fear huge cell phone bills after CPW called FLB11 from the Joshua Radin and Kings of Leon concerts this week. (CPW: I hugged Joshua Radin and got an autograph and picture with our fuckawesome beta MaggieMay14. I'm still giddy)
EPOV
I rolled over and awkwardly smacked my alarm clock as it buzzed at seven thirty in the morning. I work from my damned apartment, why on earth am I getting up at seven thirty? Oh right, Eric my boss scheduled a conference call to brainstorm ideas with all the members of the writing staff at nine in the morning. Eric is a dipshit.
My head ached like crazy from the beers I had drunk the night before with Jasper and Emmett. It didn't help matters that when I got home I drank another beer while chatting online with Penny. Although now that I looked back on it, I would call it more 'flirting' than 'chatting'. I vaguely recall suggesting cybersex with her before she logged off and I ran upstairs and beat off like a mad man before eventually passing out.
I sat up and rested my head against my headboard as I ran my fingers through my hair anxiously. What the hell was I doing? I had been given two phone numbers from very eligible ladies at Brass Monkey last night, but here I sit daydreaming over the faceless girl I've been chatting with online for a few weeks. Even for me this was kind of pathetic. I had sworn off dating fake girls in lieu of dating my computer? Jesus fuck. I think I need therapy.
I awkwardly hopped out of my bed and sleepily ambled over to the bathroom, turning on the shower and letting the steam fill the room before eventually getting in. I took my time going through my morning routine and when I got out of the shower, I found myself rushing around to get dressed in an effort to actually make it to the coffee shop before Sexy Coffee Girl. I decided that I would lounge around the café until 8:45, at which time I needed to run back to my apartment and dial in for that hideous conference call that I was dreading like the plague.
I tossed on a black t-shirt from my closet and a pair of khaki shorts that I had cleaned the day before. I slipped on my sandals and grabbed my paper from the floor in front of my place as I ran out the door, eager to see if I could actually talk to Sexy Coffee Girl today or fail miserably like I had been doing for the past month. As I waited at the crosswalk for the insane traffic to pass, I noticed her walking into Common Grounds in a white tank top, black and white check hat and a pair of sweat pants. Not exactly haute couture, but fuck me she looked gorgeous with her long brown hair cascading down her back.
When I walked into Common Grounds, there was an unusually long line and SCG was right in front of me staring at a small piece of paper and mumbling incoherently. I opened my mouth to say something witty or smart to her but was shocked when she turned around and began speaking to me instead.
"I don't know what anything means anymore. I mean, I can't even read my best friend's handwriting. What does this say?" she asked as she held the small scrap of paper in front of my face. "The person who wrote this should be dressed in a clown suit stuffing bodies under their porch."
"Umm… I think the note says 'Large Espresso Americano and three oatmeal raisin cookies,'" I muttered quietly to her as I handed back the piece of paper and she looked at me intensely with her wide brown eyes. Whoever said that eyes were the window to the soul had probably met this girl in another life. I don't think I had ever seen a pair of more expressive eyes, ever.
"Thanks. You're a life saver. I was tempted to get her a Large Chai Latte and some chocolate chip muffins. I think my roommate would probably hack my arm off making my life as an artist a little less possible. Although I guess if the guy in Def Leppard can drum with one arm, I can surely paint right?" she asked quickly, catching me off guard. I let out a little laugh as we moved ahead one spot in line and she looked at me expectantly, awaiting my response. I wasn't that surprised when she announced that she was an artist. She seemed to be such a random and eclectic person that it fit her personality just right.
"Sure. You can paint with one hand but you can always use your mouth right?"
"You have a dirty mind coffee boy," she said with a loud guffaw that made most of the people turn around and look at us.
"I meant with the paintbrush. Can't you hold it between your lips and paint that way?" I asked nervously as I reached my hand to the back of my neck and rubbed it haphazardly. She was making me nervous with her quick witted comebacks and the fact that yet again I could see her black bra through her white tank top. I was tempted to ask if she was color blind since this was the second time she had done it, but then again, I would be calling myself out for staring at her tits and I didn't need that. "So… you went to Princeton?" I asked as I pointed at her pants trying to get my mind onto anything but her perky tits.
"Nope. Stole the pants off a freshman when I did a campus tour a few years back. Beat the shit out of him real good too," she said coolly as I raised my eye brows in surprise at her. "Fuck you're easy to mess with. Yes, I went to Princeton. What about you? Did you steal sweat pants from your alma mater?"
"No. I did buy a lovely Boston College sweatshirt from the bookstore during frosh week that I still have, even though there are holes at the wrist," I said all too easily as we moved ahead another spot and I noticed it was almost her turn to be served. Shit.
"Most of my clothes have holes at the wrist or the underarm. I even have a few pairs of pants with holes at the crotch, but those are always the most comfortable, so even though my roommate tries to make me throw them out, I still have them. I'm talking too much aren't I? Sometimes when I'm nervous I get way too chatty. I'm ten times worse with caffeine in my system." I watched anxiously as she let out a deep breath and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips.
"Do I make you nervous?" I asked curiously as she suddenly turned her head around when Margaret asked for the next person in line. Sexy Coffee Girl explained her regular order to Margaret and then held out the small piece of paper for my inspection again.
"Large Espresso Americano and three oatmeal raisin cookies," I said sweetly as Margaret winked at me before ringing in the order and collecting the money from her. As Sexy Coffee Girl accepted her cookies from Margaret, she moved to the side to await her two coffees and I placed my usual order with a slightly smug grin. Once I was finished paying, I was a little disappointed to see SCG walking away.
"Thanks," she called out as she held the coffees over her head and I replied with a muffled 'you're welcome' that was heard by no one. When I finally accepted my coffee, I looked down at my watch and noticed it was almost quarter to nine, so I grabbed my drink and my muffin and ran back to my apartment, dreading the conference call I had to endure for god knows how long.
I logged onto my computer shortly after I walked through the door and reluctantly tossed my paper aside, a little frustrated that I wasn't going to get a chance to read it as I enjoyed my coffee. I opened up my email first to pull up the instructions Eric had sent me about logging into the conference call remotely and sipped on my coffee, reminiscing about the mistakes I had just made moments ago with Sexy Coffee Girl.
Why the hell didn't I introduce myself? Would it have been so hard to say 'Hi my name is Edward Cullen, and I would love to wake up beside you every morning for the rest of my life?' Okay, so that would be a little bold and no doubt scare the shit out of her, but I could have at least said my name and asked for hers. Every time I was around her it was like all my coherent thoughts flew out the damned window. I mean, who talks about old hole covered clothes? I had the romantic capabilities of Urkel for fucks sake.
"Is anyone there?" I heard Eric's voice announce as I took my speaker phone off of mute and listened to a few other off site employees speak up. "Sally, I don't think this thing is working," he added as I heard him tapping on the receiver like a complete fucking moron.
"I'm here," I said reluctantly as I took a sip of my coffee and pulled up my chat account, noticing that Penny wasn't online. This was probably a good thing because I didn't need to her to distract me as I tried to get through this meeting. A few other people who were connecting remotely also piped up that they were on and Eric proceeded to start.
"Okay, well it looks like everyone is here, so let's start shall we?" said Eric as I pressed mute on my phone again and quietly cursed him for being such an idiot. Eric spent the next half hour talking about upcoming campaigns. It seems the company was trying to make a push for new material for next year's Valentine's cards and they were going to implement a contest with cash prizes as incentive for more good text for their cards. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly, realizing that things had to be shitty at the office for the powers that be to be running a contest. I thought the income and security our jobs provided us was incentive enough to get our work done.
As usual, Eric was a pompous ass and informed us, on the down low of course, that there was talk that the company was going to be bought by Hallmark in the near future but that we shouldn't anticipate any layoffs or downsizing. Eric had no reason to be telling us all of this stuff since he wasn't a manager or vice-president; he was just our asshole of a supervisor who had half hearted dreams of grandeur that would never come to fruition. It was probably wrong of me to hope that he was the first to lose his job if Hallmark did swallow us whole in some sort of merger.
Much to my relief, the conference call from hell ended just before eleven and I looked down at the grocery list I had written while pretending to listen to Eric speak and realized I should focus on getting some food into the house before I did anything else for the day. I grabbed my wallet and my list and headed down the stairs of my apartment, deciding that it was such a nice day I would enjoy a walk through Washington Square Park before heading over to Whole Foods to spend way too much on my groceries.
Every time I went in there I got suckered at the cheese counter and always came home with some of the most delicious but expensive cheeses there were. I think the girl who worked there had a little crush on me, which was why she had me taste test so many of them, but I was too sweet to say no to her even though she looked to be about nineteen. Today, when I got to the cheese counter, there was a petite dark haired girl standing there holding up a list that she complained she couldn't read and I had a creepy sense of déjà vu.
"Do you read?" she asked as she pushed the piece of paper under my nose.
"Excuse me?" I replied at her rude tone and she let out a small huff.
"Do. You. Read?" she said slowly this time and I cocked my eyebrow at her.
"Do you have some sort of gene that overrides your brain and refuses to let you be polite? You could ask nicely you know," I retorted as she looked in complete shock that I had responded to her angrily.
"Sorry. I'm having a rough day," she said with a gentle smile and couldn't help but feel remorse for being so callous to her. "My roommate sent me grocery shopping because she had some important shit to do for work. I don't even know how to cook, let alone read her chicken scratch like hand writing."
I grabbed the list from her hand and started reciting it to her. Having a father who was a doctor certainly came in handy when it came to reading some of the world's most awful handwriting. "The list asks for Camembert, Brie and a brick of Swiss," I said as I recited the cheeses that were listed. "I'm Edward by the way."
"Alice, pleasure to meet you. You don't by any chance have the time to spend following me around the store to help me do you?" she asked sweetly as she batted her eyelashes. Something told me that this girl rarely got turned down for anything in her life, even though she was rude as shit sometimes.
"Well, I am here doing my groceries, so if you want to follow me then I can help with your list, and it won't be the end of the world," I muttered, surprised at myself for my willingness to help this stranger. Why couldn't I be this bold and honest with Sexy Coffee Girl? Instead I get within five feet of her and all I have is verbal diarrhea and extremely explicit images coursing through my brain.
So went my afternoon. I helped Alice do her grocery shopping while learning way too much about vintage fashion. It seemed she owned a clothing store a few blocks away, which was ironically across the road and a few stores down from the used bookstore that Jasper owned. She was a nice enough girl, but she had way too much energy for my liking. Fuck, she would probably be horrible all hopped up on coffee. Alice and I finished shopping at the same time and went through the checkout where she bought me a supersized Toblerone for all of my troubles, even though I kept insisting it wasn't necessary.
"Not necessary?" she said with a laugh. "You must be single."
"Why do you say that?" I inquired as she tossed the large candy bar in with her order, not even caring that I had turned her down.
"Well that's easy. If you had a girlfriend you would already know that besides oral sex, a Toblerone is the quickest way to her heart," snickered Alice as I narrowed my eyes at her. She was annoying, yet oh so wise.
I grabbed my three bags of groceries, complete with the ten dollar Toblerone and thanked Alice for the interesting afternoon. "It was fun Edward. We should do it again sometime," she said genuinely as I nodded my head and we walked out the front door of the store, heading in opposite directions. She was certainly an interesting girl, I would give her that.
BPOV
PennyLane84: You should go to bed Paperbag Drunkie
Paperback_Writer: Coming with me?
Did he just…?
PennyLane84: Maybe another time.
Seriously, had I been as drunk as he probably was, I would have definitely considered it. At the moment, I only had one and a half Mike's Hard Lemonades in me and that definitely was not enough liquid persuasion for me to consider getting on the phone with him or to consider phone sex of any kind.
Paperback_Writer: If that's the case, I hope to god you own a webcam.
PennyLane84: Goodnight Boozie McGee.
Paperback_Writer: 'night Penny.
I signed off, shaking my head in amusement and looked up at the clock in the right hand corner of the computer screen to see that it was one thirty in the morning. I shut down my computer and headed off to bed.
I woke up around the usual time and I immediately remembered what PBW and I had talked about last night. The aching between my legs made me wish that I'd taken him up on his offer as I let out a loud huff and reluctantly got up, throwing on a white tank top and my old Princeton sweats. The only clean bra I had left was black, but the thought that I might see Hot Coffee Guy made the prospect of flashing my undergarments pretty okay. I put on my high-top Converse sneakers and grabbed a hat before I stepped out of my room to head over to Common Grounds for my daily caffeine fix.
I could hear Alice shuffling around in her room as I walked past. "Hey Al, I'm going over to Common Grounds, did you want anything?" I asked quietly through the door. God knows that Rose definitely was not an early riser, especially when she didn't have to be at work until the afternoon. Alice's tiny head popped out from behind the door and she handed me a piece of paper and I took it without looking.
On my way to the coffee shop I took a look at what Alice had written down, but I couldn't read it. It looked like a freaking serial killer's handwriting. I studied it during the entire walk over to the coffee shop and by the time I got there I still wasn't able to decipher it. I got in line for my coffee, still trying to figure it out when I felt someone behind me, maybe they would know what the hell it said.
I turned around and was met with none other than Hot Coffee Guy. Of course, that was just my luck, so without thinking, my mouth just started talking. "I don't know what anything means anymore. I mean, I can't even read my best friend's handwriting. What does this say?" I asked as I practically shoved the piece of paper under his nose. "The person who wrote this should be dressed in a clown suit stuffing bodies under their porch." Oh cripes, I really need to learn the concept of a verbal filter.
He took the note from my hands and studied it closely, as I studied his face, probably a little too closely as well. "Umm… I think the note says 'Large Espresso Americano and three oatmeal raisin cookies,'" he said quietly as he handed the note back to me. I was still staring as his eye met mine and for a moment it seemed as if I could actually see the person he really was just by looking into his gorgeous green eyes. They were mesmerizing and easily the most beautiful pair of eyes I'd ever seen. Without thinking, yet again, I spoke.
"Thanks. You're a life saver. I was tempted to get her a Large Chai Latte and some chocolate chip muffins. I think my roommate would probably hack my arm off making my life as an artist a little less possible. Although I guess if the guy in Def Leppard can drum with one arm, I can surely paint right?" Seriously, what was wrong with the connection from my brain to my mouth? He laughed at my rant and nodded his head, signaling to me to move up one spot in the line before he responded.
"Sure. You can paint with one hand but you can always use your mouth right?" I couldn't help the loud bout of laughter that burst through my lips, as his comment seemed so wrong to me on so many levels. Apparently, I couldn't even talk to this beautiful man without thinking dirty thoughts.
"You have a dirty mind coffee boy," I blurted out, blaming my dirty mind on his comment.
"I meant with the paintbrush. Can't you hold it between your lips and paint that way?" he asked, trying to salvage the conversation by clarifying his previous comment, which sounded extremely dirty and made me think of doing many things with my mouth to him. His hand moved to rub the back of his neck, as I imagined my own hand rubbing that exact spot in a comforting motion. I think I might have been staring for too long without responding because suddenly he changed the subject. "So… you went to Princeton?" he asked as he gestured to my sweatpants. I'd almost forgotten that I put them on.
My usual snarky, sarcastic self came out at that moment in my response to his question. "Nope. Stole the pants off a freshman when I did a campus tour a few years back. Beat the shit out of him real good too" I said as I shrugged my shoulders as his eyes widened at me and he looked shocked. "Fuck you're easy to mess with. Yes, I went to Princeton. What about you? Did you steal sweat pants from your alma mater?" I asked, curious as to where to he went to school. I was actually interested in everything he had to say and share with me, but I couldn't just say that.
"No. I did buy a lovely Boston College sweatshirt from the bookstore during frosh week that I still have, even though there are holes at the wrist."
"Most of my clothes have holes at the wrist or the underarm. I even have a few pairs of pants with holes at the crotch, but those are always the most comfortable, so even though my roommate tries to make me throw them out, I still have them. I'm talking too much aren't I? Sometimes when I'm nervous I get way too chatty. I'm ten times worse with caffeine in my system." Holy Juan Valdez I am such a fucking mess. Why would a sane person babble on about holes in their clothes to a complete stranger and then basically tell him that he's making me a nervous wreck? I let out a shaky breath and he laughed.
"Do I make you nervous?" he asked softly, catching me off guard. He almost sounded like the idea that he could make me nervous was completely ridiculous, which it wasn't considering that he was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen and I was… well, me.
Before I could answer his question, I heard Margaret call next in line and I realized that I was up. I ordered my regular and went to read what Alice had wrote, to no avail yet again and forgetting what Hot Coffee Guy had deciphered for me. I turned back to him, handing him the note and he read it aloud so that Margaret could hear. I paid for my order and waited patiently for Alice and my coffees, all the while staring at Hot Coffee Guy's ass until someone behind the counter handed me the two cups of coffee and three cookies before I walked away.
"Thanks," I called out to him before I walked out the door. I headed back to the apartment and I was barely able to hold onto the two cups of coffee and the bag of Alice's cookies without dropping everything onto the sidewalk. When I finally made it upstairs, I found Alice cheerfully getting ready for work.
"Oh thank god! Coffee!" she said as she practically leaped at me. Sometimes I wondered why she even drank coffee; she had plenty of energy without it.
"Gee, Al. I should keep this stuff from you, you don't need it," I said with a laugh as she narrowed her eyes at me.
"I'm only keeping my hands to myself right now because you're making fondue tonight," she replied.
"Cheese and chocolate right?" I asked, knowing how much she loved my fondue. Of course, tiny girl likes tiny food. Actually that was a complete lie, since Alice ate an unnatural amount of food and I sometimes found myself wondering if she had a hollow leg or something because she never gained a single pound.
"You know me too well, Bella," she said smugly. Before she walked out of the apartment, I remembered that we had absolutely no cheese in the house for the fondue and there was no way I could get to the store to get some before dinner time.
"Oh, Alice! Could you to go pick up some cheese for the fondue tonight? I need to work on my painting for the gallery in a couple of weeks and it needs to be finished by tomorrow," I told her honestly.
Once in a while, I would be asked to have my work displayed in a gallery and it always made me excited to know that someone was appreciating my art. This time though, they requested that I make an original piece instead of using one that I'd already painted and they needed it by the next afternoon. The pressure was on because usually I would find myself painting late at night, but these days I was chatting to PBW online.
"Sure Bella. Anything for fondue." I narrowed my eyes at her and she amended. "Oh and because I love you," she said with a grin.
"That's what I thought," I said before I wrote down the kinds of cheeses she would need to pick up and handed it to her. Alice looked quickly at the note before stuffing it into her pocket and leaving the apartment.
I actually had time to finish my coffee before I noticed that it was time for me to walk the dogs. They dragged me around Washington Square Park for an hour and a half and I wanted to kill Heidi because she kept jumping onto Caius every time we stopped for more than 2 seconds.
When I finally got back into my apartment and into my studio, I immediately stripped off my sweatpants, leaving me in my black & white striped boy shorts with Snoopy on them, fixed my hair into a loose ponytail and started painting.
A few hours later, I was covered in red, orange and yellow paint and was staring at something that vaguely resembled a sunset. I pondered it for a few minutes, tilting my head and examining it and adding a few simple strokes where I felt they were needed, before I walked out of the studio and headed straight for the shower. On my way to the bathroom however, Rosalie spotted me.
"Oh god, Bella, you're a fucking mess," she said as I jumped nearly four feet into the air, surprised to find her at home.
"Cripes, Rose. You scared the shit out of me!" I said as I held my hand over my heart. "What are you doing home anyway?" I asked curiously.
"Um, it's five thirty Bella," she said as she nodded her head towards the clock on the wall. I looked at the clock in disbelief as I realized how much I really did lose track of time when I was painting.
"Shit," I said with a small laugh as I continued my walk into the bathroom and took a hot shower, trying to rid myself of paint completely, but knowing that it was impossible. I had actually grown accustomed to finding small bits of paint on me when I least expected it. When I was done, I threw a t-shirt and my Princeton sweats back on and found Alice in the living room. "Hey, Al. Did you get the cheese?"
"Yeah, I had help from some hot guy when I couldn't read your damn handwriting," she said as she tossed me the note and I opened it, looking at the rushed handwriting.
"Yeah, well that was just payback. I had to get help from someone reading your coffee order this morning," I said as I tossed the unneeded piece of paper into the trash can and began sifting through the plastic bag, seeking out the Camembert, Swiss and Brie that I needed to make the fondue. I let the cream, white wine and cheeses melt together while I ripped up some bread for us to dip into the fondue. By the time it was done, I had Alice standing next to me; practically dry humping my leg in excitement. We ate and cleaned up before I went over to my computer and saw that PBW was online.
PennyLane84: Well I'm definitely keeping my roommates alive, one of them was acting like a lost little puppy and wouldn't leave my side the entire time I was making fondue tonight.
A few seconds later, he replied.
Paperback_Writer: That's because she wanted to make sure you didn't poison it.
PennyLane84: Shut up. She was practically drooling. So, how did you feel this morning Drunkie McGee?
Paperback_Writer: I don't wanna talk about it. Plus, I had to deal with a conference call with my idiot boss.
PennyLane84: Sounds like fun. I got a webcam today, btw.
There was a pause for a few moments before he responded and I wondered if I'd said the wrong thing.
Paperback_Writer: Are you serious?
PennyLane84: No, sorry. I couldn't resist.
Paperback_Writer: Damn.
PennyLane84: Disappointed PBW?
Paperback_Writer: I'd say no, but then I'd be lying. What do you say to a chat Friday night?
I read the message a few times before I responded. Was he asking me on a chat date? What the fuck is a chat date anyway?
PennyLane84: Like an online date?
Paperback_Writer: Sure, we can call it a date. What do you say?
PennyLane84: I'd like that.
"Bella you better get in the kitchen, I think Alice is going to burn us all! She's trying to melt the chocolate!" Rosalie shrieked. I put my face in my hands and shook my head.
PennyLane84: I gotta go PBW. Roommate is trying to melt chocolate and there is no way this can end well.
Paperback_Writer: Good luck… See ya Penny.
I signed off in a hurry and walked towards the kitchen feeling both excited about talking to PBW and furious with Alice and Rosalie for interrupting us. "Alice Brandon you leave my stove alone or there will be hell to pay!"
