Chapter 4:
Thanks for reviews and everything!
Comic relief today! Whoop – I raised loads from a sponsored silence/no phone day that my friend said I wouldn't be able to do… I proved her wrong!
I have to spend months in hiding. Although I rarely head out into the public, there is a difference between having the choice and having to stay indoors. I do not know how I will be able to put up with the four walls of this house for another eight months – I want this child, truly I do, but I shall have to spend all my time only with it.
I cannot see Samuel, even if I wanted to… unless… no, I couldn't do that, could I?
"Samuel, would you like to come over?" I ask him on the phone, acting before my brain can tell me not to. Urges from my heart want me to see him, no matter how much I feel guilt for both sleeping with Oliver and the result of this being the child, and I must have him come over… I am going to be rather devious, and use things to my advantage, hopefully procuring the lack of hatred on his behalf when he finds out about my pregnancy in the future. I may have to give my child away, so that they survive their childhood (that is the translation of what Myrnin said, out of the huge paragraph he said) but I will want them to return to Morganville sometime in the future… after all, I will need my child.
I hear the shocked silence as Samuel processes the fact that I wish to see him; he doesn't have to ring me up and annoy me greatly, like usual – I am ringing him and asking him to come over here!
"Why… yes, I would," he finally responds and I smile, knowing that I am going to be doing something that I rather enjoyed last time… just with the wrong person. Oh my, that makes me sound like such a disgusting prostitute, doesn't it? Yet I do not currently care: I am pregnant, grieving for the fact that the baby is somebody who I hate's, and I need the man that I love…
"I shall set you up a portal and you can come over right now," I say and I hear that he is nodding his head – the rushing of air on the other end of the phone line gives me this impression.
"Certainly, Amelie, but why now?" he asks, and I feel a rush of anger – he is supposed to be in love with me; he shouldn't be questioning why I finally wish to see him!
"Does that really matter?"
"No, it doesn't… I'll be over in a second," he finally responds after a long silence after I asked the question.
I deign not to respond, simply opening a portal as I hang up the phone for Samuel to pass through. As I wait for him, I lock the door into my lounge area so that nobody can interrupt us, as well as making sure that the door to my bedroom is open.
At long last, he appears through the portal, obviously hastily dressed. His hair is still in the 'bed head' state, tousled and entirely lovable…
"Amelie," he says my name in a voice filled with love and longing, and I indulge the same in the expression I flash at him. He moves closer into the room, once shutting the portal, and he looks at the locked door in confusion. "Why is the door locked?"
"So I can do this," I whisper, zooming over to stand mere centimetres from him. I look at him for a long moment, my grey eyes meeting his perfect azure ones, and I become entirely enthralled in him. Suddenly, I move to wrap my arms around his neck and (at a slower speed) move my lips closer and closer to his, so that if he didn't want to do it he could move away. However, he doesn't do anything but move closer to me and presses his lips softly to mine, causing a sense of frission and passion between the two of us.
This is entire different to Oliver and I – this is true love, rather than just meaningless sexual movements… this is what I wish I had waited for, or realised that I wanted before.
I only wish I didn't have the motives I do for me to be doing this.
The kiss deepens as his arms wrap around my back, pulling me into him. My hands move up to wrap into his tousled hair, drawing his head closer to mine so that I don't have to reach up as high to be able to kiss him.
"Amelie, what are you doing?" he asks inbetween kisses as one of the hands snakes down (of its own accord) to the front of his shirt and begins to unbutton it.
"What does it look like I am doing?" I ask him, amazed that he could be as clueless as this… he has a child, evidently he has done this before – men are denser than I ever thought possible.
"It seems as if you are trying to remove my shirt," he states the obvious, pulling me with him onto the sofa. He sits down and I clamber into his lap before continuing to kiss him. With his hand on mine, I refrain from continuing to undo his shirt and concentrate on kissing, my mouth opening to allow his tongue inside just so that I can feel him beneath me.
"I love you," I whisper into his lips and he shakes with anticipation, with happiness that I have confessed this for the first time in almost thirty five years.
"I love you, Amelie, but why now did you decide to confess this love?" he asks, removing my mouth from his with a small touch to my face. I press my rejected head into his chest and sigh deeply, feeling the strangeness of the child inside of me but also the happiness of just being with the man that I love. I wish that I wasn't going to have to do this, but I cannot have it known by anyone that Oliver came to Morganville… therefore, if Samuel ever found out about my pregnancy, he could assume it was mine. However, this means that I have to break his heart once again, doing this and then pushing him away… I am such a seductress, a fallen angel, getting what I want before pushing the man away from me.
"I need you to be close to me… for today, at least," I tack on the end but I doubt he heard; all he could focus on was the first clause… and there was a rather substantial gap between the first and the latter two.
I lift my head once again and press my lips to his, feeling no objection from him. I resume my unbuttoning of his shirt and he doesn't stop me, his hands reaching over to my dress and sliding down the zipper on the side slowly, almost as if he expects a rebuke for something so forward…
Here we go again…
OoOoOo
I cannot hurt him once again. It is impossible for me to do it. However, he cannot be around me and find that I have a child – after all, it would be rather awkward to explain it… a vampire having a child; you need to be as old as I or Myrnin to truly understand, I believe. Samuel never met the Elder; he doesn't have any idea of the power or potential that they held before both my father and I (individually) destroyed them all.
I need him so much; this child has shown me that I need the man that I love to be in my life, as I now have two things I adore… yet he cannot. His Grandson is merely two years old, perhaps a little less and I would never allow him to stay holed up here with me and miss out on a chance to get to know him. He missed out on raising his son because I left him, meaning he became depressed, so why on earth would I allow him to miss out on seeing Michael?
Yet to let him leave me now, after I have just done the thing with him that seals a relationship (or is entirely pointless, in the case of Oliver) would be cruel… therefore I need to compel him. I shall put a lock on his memory so that if he ever finds out that I have a child in the future, this night shall come back to him… otherwise, it shall stay locked out of his memory so that he does not hurt because I left him.
I turn over and slip back under the muscular arm of the man I love, the man who is currently sleeping… I have to wake him shortly, but I shall leave him be right now. After all, I get to be close with him – why wouldn't I stay like this?
OoOo
I wrap the silk sheets around myself and gently bring the man I love back to consciousness. He looks around sleepily and smiles in the same manner as he spots my face looking at him.
"Amelie," he breathes my name, moving to kiss me. However, I manage to resist the beautiful urge and simply lock my eyes on him, sending through the compulsion that will make him forget this beautifully wonderful experience.
"I love you, but you will forget everything from this evening," I inform him, my voice shaking slightly. My hand moves down to cover my stomach, inside of which a small child (which isn't his) is already forming, a human child. How am I going to be able to bring a human up when I am a vampire?... I presume that that is one of the reasons why I have to give it up. "Unless you find out in the future that I had a child, you will not remember being with me or anything before I called you. You spent the night watching the television before going to bed, which is where you are going to go now." My voice breaks by the end and I have to wipe away tears from my eyes as they threaten to disturb my compulsion of him…
He nods slowly and gets up without a word, still acting under the compulsion as he will do until he is in bed. He dresses methodically, mechanically, and as he does the tears flow and flow and the hysteria begins. Samuel doesn't seem to hear; he simply walks out and to the portal without a word… leaving me alone…
I did what I had to do, but why do I feel worse than I did before?
Yeah… this will come into context etc when like present day Morganville is involved, since there will be a lovely twist in it! After all, since when did I do anything without there being a twist/something involved?
So, like, yeah, review priddy pwease if you read this :P It'd mean a lot!
Vicky xx
