Author's Note: this is becoming annoying...having to create CHAPTERS. but that's alright. because it gives me something to do this summer, now doesn't it?
gah. suspenseful, isn't it? wouldn't you like a profession AT NIGHT?
My Profession...By Night, I Mean
Roxas' cell phone had made a new home somewhere in his room for that night and the following day. He didn't bother to find it. Besides, the calling had already stopped! Even so, there wouldn't be a point in trying to pick it up. He was beginning to think that the second he'd touch it, there it'd go—vibrating and begging for attention. Nope. It wasn't gonna happen. This was a serious grudge he had.
Seriously.
"Yeah...yeah, I'm still feeling a little bad today. Mmhm. I know. Yeah, I will. Ok. Ok, thanks. Bye." With a sigh and a fake smile, Roxas quietly set the home phone on the couch and tried his best to snuggle into the cushions. His boss was still as understanding about his mystery illness as ever.
Last night was bloody-murder. Yeah, he'd gotten his eight hours of sleep, but it wasn't extremely peaceful. He'd tossed...and turned a bit...
So now it was six o'clock and the town was already falling into night. Roxas clicked the television off—realizing that for the past couple of hours all he'd been doing was staring at one corner of the thing anyway—and returned to laying quietly until he'd fall asleep.
"Hm."
"Fuck...me. A-ah..."
No.
"Something bothering you?"
No.
"...You're cute."
No, no, fucking NO.
"No, no—"
And then the doorbell rang.
Roxas quickly opened his eyes and vacantly stared around the darkness of the living room. He could feel a cold sweat slipping easily down the nape of his neck and it caused familiar shivers to travel down his spine. Shaking it off, he threw his feet on the floor and tried his best to stand after being a vegetable for the entire day on the couch. He'd heard something...but what? For a minute he just stood there—staring around like a lost kid—before that sound came back to his ears.
Ding-dong...
"Uh...h-hold up," he called out weakly to his right where the front door was waiting eagerly for him to answer. Ok, this was strange. He hadn't opened the door for anyone at this time of the day before. Even his own mother hadn't come by for a visit yet. He tried not to remember her at the moment, and instead strolled up to the door while ruffling his hair up a bit. He couldn't look like a slob.
It felt like an eternity before Roxas finally managed to wrap his lanky fingers around the doorknob, unlock the deadbolt and let the last bit of summer waft into his apartment. For a minute, yeah, it felt good to be able to touch summer again. But the harsh reality was that it was leaving, and up ahead was one big, cold slap in the face.
"...Hey," Axel muttered, breaking the silence that'd been floating in Roxas' apartment for days. Roxas simple stared...and stared...and kept his hand loosely holding onto the doorknob. Right there, he wanted to cry again, but, as usual, he couldn't. He wanted to scream again, but his throat wouldn't open up. Nothing was working the way it was supposed to.
He didn't respond and continued to stare at Axel who was standing out there in the darkness with the summer wind blowing his crimson hair to one side. Of course Roxas thought he was attractive like that. Of course he thought that Axel was attractive even when he wasn't smiling. Just the fact that he was wearing those pants again made the image a little less appealing.
Those boots, that belt, no shirt. First day all over again...
Axel stared down at the blonde with his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed over his bare chest. "I'm not here for this," he quickly slapped his hands on the front of his legs before adding, "if that's what you're thinking."
Roxas still kept to himself.
"You weren't answerin' the phone, you know." He rubbed behind his neck and with that there was a long pause. At first, when Roxas sighed and opened his mouth, Axel looked up hopefully and was more than ready to hear the guy talk to him. He just didn't expect the door to shake and come flying at his face.
"I know," Roxas said flatly as he clutched the knob and started to commit the first door-in-face act in his life. The only problem was that Axel's hand was a bit faster. Instantly, the redhead reacted and stuck both his foot and his hand out in between the door and the frame. And back in the darkness of the living room, all Roxas could do was stare in bewilderment...all over again.
There wasn't much he could do after that. Roxas stared when the door was stopped. He stared when it creaked and pushed back open. He stared when Axel came back into his view...and he stared when Axel actually set foot in the apartment. Ok, so was this the time to freak out and slap the sense out of him? Or was this the time to talk? He didn't know.
"Listen, Roxas..." Axel stopped, heaved a sigh toward the ceiling and started over, turning his attention to his—hopefully—not ex-boyfriend. Why was Roxas standing all the way over there? "...You gotta listen t' me."
Roxas considered it, and all the time he did, the entire complex fell into silence. He didn't think that the neighbors slept this early...but that would probably work to his advantage. With the front door still wide open, the whole world could potentially hear their conversation going on inside, but if they were asleep, heck, they were safe. They were safe...so they could talk, and he could listen the best he could.
"...Ok," he replied in a hoarse voice. Axel's eyes flashed at that, but they fell cold the second Roxas continued to say, "Let's start with your get-up."
At first Axel let out the beginning of a chuckle before he caught himself and compared it to the situation at hand. That...wouldn't work out so nicely. Instead, he blinked and stared down at his old "costume" uneasily.
"I...told you I quit workin' at the fast food place, right?"
Roxas nodded.
"I did leave the place, ok? That's not a lie."
"Lie...?"
"The thing is—you know...I—"
"What?"
"I didn't—I didn't get a solid job after I quit. See, I—I jus' didn't wanna work at some rundown place like that again."
Suddenly, Roxas could feel his toes curling nervously in his socks. He had a bad feeling about what Axel was about to say, and he knew that neither of them would like it.
And that was the truth. After a staggered sigh, Axel took a step closer toward Roxas and continued in a dejected voice, "...Prostituting."
One. Word. That was it. That was what it took for Roxas to snap.
He didn't say anything immediately, he didn't move immediately. He just stared again, and shook his head once the word began to seep into his brain. Prostitution? Pro-sti-tu-tion? It seeped lower and lower...until it hit that one special place where Roxas felt like he'd been stabbed repeatedly.
Ouch.
Roxas slowly brought a shaky hand to his temple where he began to massage at a sore spot under his skull. He could feel his chest pumping hard under his shirt...and it hurt. More than anything.
"S-so...that's why—that's why you were—"
"I couldn't let you know."
"A-and the guy you were—you were with—"
"He was—"
"I just don't—"
"Roxas—"
"Why in the hell would you go off and do something as stupid as that, Axel!?" Roxas exploded right when he'd backed far enough away to be standing in the kitchen. None of the lights were on in the house, but that didn't matter. If he saw Axel's face full on, he knew that he'd been yelling right at him and wishing, more than anything, that he could slap him over and over and over...
Axel held his tongue and kept his eyes to the floor. Let Roxas vent...let 'im vent.
"I—I don't get why! Were you just—just flaunting around out there for the attention!? Or the money!? Was that honestly all that fucking mattered to you? Did you miss being back at the fucking night club, Axel!? Missed all the guys that stared at you and told you things that made you feel special!? You wanted 'em to just fuck you, right!? Am, I right!? 'Cause you wanted that fucktard to last week, huh!? You wanted to!"
Axel shook his head once, unable to reply.
Roxas shook his own head and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He wasn't crying buckets of tears, but they were starting to prick a little. As the eye-sting started to take effect, Roxas started to pace the kitchen floor as his headache pounded deeper into his head.
"You know, it's like I've been with you for absolutely NO reason, Axel. It's like I didn't do squat in trying to turn your life around. Did I make you bored!? Was that it? You wanted more bang for your buck? Huh. O-or—or maybe that's reversed, right? Maybe it's those douche bags out there that get one helluva bang, know what I mean? Did I honestly bore you?"
Roxas started to laugh steadily in between question after question he threw out for Axel to catch. But Axel never answered them. He was just...too caught up in guilt to feel compelled to answer.
"You—you mind answering something for me point blankly? That sound familiar? Huh? It should! 'Cause you caught me like this the day we met, remember? Like being under the fucking spotlight. Doesn't it feel like that? I—"
Quickly, Roxas brought a hand up to his mouth where he clapped it over his lips. With one hand on his hip, he shut his eyes tightly and bit down on the tip of his tongue to keep from speaking for a while. In truth, it just added to the hurt to be saying things like this to Axel. Roxas thought it would feel fantastic, but it just...it was worse. Nothing good was gonna come out of this conversation.
Another few minutes passed before Roxas opened his glossy eyes and brought his hand back to his side. He allowed a shaky sigh to slip through his lips before the spit-fire would follow promptly behind.
"...You think you're a slut now?"
It was after that question that Roxas noticed the volume change in his voice. Even if the neighbor's were deaf and asleep, he had a feeling that his voice could still be heard floors below them. He didn't think that he'd have to yell to get his point across, but with Axel, what other way was there? The guy was unruly; the guy would never listen unless the phrase got repeated at least more than twice. The more Roxas thought about it, the more he was able to compare Axel's traits with his own brother's—Sora's.
And he cried on that thought. Barely made a peep, but with the world so frozen, Axel heard him.
God, Roxas didn't wanna be seen or heard crying like that, even though he knew that Axel was just keeping quiet because he could. But the rest of the town shouldn't. So with a quick wipe-off with the back of his hand again, Roxas bolted for the front door which was still hanging there—waiting for someone to come by and shut it up good for the night. He sniffed and swallowed down tears by the time he reached the doorframe, and with one hand he pushed the door until it once again left the apartment drenched in black...
But not for long.
Roxas assumed that the one-man banter would pick up from there. He had a feeling that his head wasn't through coming up with words to spit out. However, Axel wasn't ready to hear more...
A minute had passed, maybe even two, as Roxas still stood there by the door with his forehead pressed firmly against it. He was a silent crier—wasn't one to snot all over the place—but because he hadn't done it in a while, he felt like he was the loudest guy in the entire town. He'd been lied to—in a sense, betrayed. Led astray by one guy's good looks...a guy that promised he'd change...
A guy that knew how to comfort...
Wait, what?
Hesitantly, Roxas looked away from the door and over his shoulder where he'd felt a weight pressing against his back. No sooner had he looked did he hear a click go off at his right and the orange tinted lights in the living room show off his drenched face. Sure enough, the first to see that face like that was Axel who honestly couldn't care less. It took a simple grab for him to turn Roxas around so he could hold his trembling body. And so Axel held Roxas against his will...literally pinning the blonde against his own front door.
Roxas had stayed still long enough to see vague, red marks etched at the top of Axel's arms and chest during their light snuggle-fest. But he quickly shut his eyes after seeing them, knowing that those weren't from a fall or slip of any kind. He didn't like thinking about it in detail...
At first, Roxas really did consider staying put longer...but his fingers worked against it. Soon, two of them made way to the knob where they slowly turned it for the last time that night. He liked feeling Axel's skin on his face that way...he liked standing still...most of all, he liked it when Axel would listen and do the same. But it wasn't supposed to happen like that.
Nothing was working the way it should.
With a simple turn, Roxas was able to push away from the door and pull it open half way—just enough for skinny, leather-clad Axel to slip right through back the way he came. Besides, Roxas was sure that he had business to take care of. It made Axel feel better, didn't it? Then to change him wouldn't be the best course to take...not at all.
"...Go," Roxas muttered against Axel's chest. His skin was warm against his cold, tear stained face, but he couldn't feel good with it. If he did, he'd never get Axel to leave that night, would he? Axel's hands tightened around Roxas' waist at a last attempt to make the blonde feel good, but Roxas still persisted.
"You have to go."
Yes, he regretted it. All of it. Every word, every gesture that happened to show up during that meeting was gonna haunt Roxas forever, more than likely. And, unfortunately for him, he never did get to hear Axel's reply to his question. Axel simply pressed his head against Roxas' for a short while—smiling sadly to himself—before he finally succumbed to leaving.
So maybe Roxas was wrong. Axel didn't always need someone to yell at him until he'd finally understand.
He shut the door once again, shut the lights, and made sure to take some sleeping pills before bed. Roxas had a feeling that he needed all the help he could get if he wanted to survive this night...and the millions of others that would follow.
SLUT!
"...12:30 on the dot. I tell ya, days sure are gettin' shorter 'round here, aren't they? We should start seein' clouds rollin' in by sundown, so if I were you, I'd head out there and spend summer—"
Unable to connect with his surroundings just yet, Roxas groggily dragged a hand out of bed and fumbled over and over again with the buttons on his clock before he finally shut it off. Right behind his eyes was where it hurt the most that morning, which was unusual considering that it was either his side or his foot that suffered from being in one position for hours on end. He groaned into his pillow and tried to blink it off, only resulting in stinging and prickling with each blink.
Worse, he couldn't speak straight—his throat felt like it'd been slashed at. And that's when it hit him—he'd taken sleeping pills last night. For two nights now, actually. Well, he sure thought that they'd help him sleep like he used to when he'd have a nightlight in his room...
Instead, they made him feel like unmitigated crap. He'd woken up late again and he wished he could just go blind again.
Suddenly, he just wished that he'd wake up one day and be halfway across the town on his mother's doorstep where he was supposed to be. Ok, not on her doorstep, but around that general area. But if he'd end up there, wouldn't Sora just laugh in his face about it? Wouldn't his mom bitch and moan? Then where was he supposed to go? If he lost his apartment, he couldn't exactly go to a friend's house. They were either farther away, or in another town a gajillion miles away.
Then there was Axel's apartment. But Roxas could only imagine what was stuffed in that old place now that he was one of those "nightcrawlers".
Boy, it always hurt when he'd make a snarky comment like that, even in his head. Roxas let out a sigh against his pillow and stared at the top of his nightstand where he'd decided to place his cell phone once again. Yeah, he'd found it last night, but only because he had to charge the damn thing. If he didn't and his mom happened to call, he'd never hear the end of it. So there it was—cold and still beside his alarm clock.
Not vibrating.
Now, Roxas had no idea what influenced him to reach a hand out once again, but not to touch the clock—to grab his cell. Maybe mom had called, or maybe Sora if he was lucky. He'd call back and that would be the schedule for the day—have a seven hour long chat with big bro. But as he lay on his back and flipped the thing open, he noticed something out of place...
6 voicemails
"S-six?" he croaked, forcing himself to sit up in bed. Behind him, his curtains were pulled back to allow the afternoon sunshine to flood into his room. While it might've been comforting to feel it, it wasn't enough. Sure, six was a lot of messages for one cell, but considering the time and situation, six wasn't that many. And it bothered him.
Blinking quickly, Roxas began to click through menu after menu in his phone until he reached the one with a little envelope as the icon. After selecting it, a short list of messages appeared on screen—six of them were highlighted. A closer look showed that the first three had been sent at near two minute intervals while the others were sent a bit over five minutes apart. Honestly, Roxas' worry inclined...not just because of the time...
...but because Axel had been the one to send each one.
"Shit," he hissed irately, about ready to select the first message in an instant. Then, he hesitated. It must've been the sleeping pills that made him not hear these things being sent last night. Really, he would've answered at least one if he knew. True story. With guilt tossing him every which way, Roxas finally took in a deep breath, brought the cell to his ear and selected the first message.
"First message. Sent yesterday at 9:52 PM..."
"...Roxas?"
"To erase this message—"
Roxas raised an eyebrow in question. "What?" He brought the phone down to eye level and immediately moved on to the next voicemail.
"Next message. Sent yesterday at 9:54 PM..."
"Rox...come on. You gotta pick up th' phone. You—these guys aren't gettin' off my back...can't get to my place—"
"To erase this mess—"
"Ah, dammit...!" Roxas spat at the voice and continued on.
"Next message. Sent yesterday at 9:56 PM..."
"Roxas! I need you t' open your door! Roxas! Roxas, you gotta open th' door! R—fuck all ya, ya hear me? Get offa my back! Rox, open th' door, open th' door! Please, you gotta—"
"To erase—"
Roxas could already feel his sore throat clenching up. He didn't even realize that two of his fingers had made way to his lips in shock. Hastily, he pulled them off and rested them in his lap at an attempt to keep his legs from bouncing on the mattress. Just in the tone of Axel's voice he could tell that something really wasn't right. It sounded like he was panting—possibly running. He'd mentioned someone in the message as if they were...ganging up on him?
Thinking that only pushed Roxas to bite his tongue and hesitate even longer to choose the fourth recording. He didn't want to, he didn't want to...but his fingers worked against it.
"Next message. Sent yesterday at 10:02 AM..."
"...Rox—!"
"To erase this me—"
"Axel..." Roxas muttered, semi-angrily, but mostly in worry and trauma. Was Axel actually yelling for him? For help? He just wished that Axel would've given him more of a lead on that detail. Was he in danger last night?
...Or was he still?
For some reason, the last message could've answered the question better than the previous ones. That was usually how it worked in the movies. And while it felt awful having to relate the situation to a movie, Roxas knew there was some logic behind it. He really just had to depend on instinct for this. He swallowed nervously before his thumb trailed over to the center button and selected the fifth recording.
"Next message. Sent yesterday at 10:11 PM..."
"...Yeah, that's right. SCREAM, you fuckin' SLUT!"
"To erase this—"
Without letting the voicemail lady continue to be overly polite and monotonous, Roxas shut the phone with one finger and set it in between his legs softly. He'd heard more than he wanted in that message. It wasn't so much the unknown voice that bothered him, but the sound of Axel groaning in pain in the background.
While he felt like absolute trash, most of his body was going through a major adrenaline rush...as if he hadn't taken any pills at all. Now he was regretting ever swallowing down those things. He could've gotten the calls...he could've...saved...
On that thought, Roxas remembered that one of those messages had Axel asking him to open the door...his door? As in the front door? With one foot fast asleep and his eyes still tugging behind his lids, Roxas slipped out of bed and began to quickly walk out of the room and into the living room. He nearly forgot the entire layout of his own place!
"Why—why'd I—?" he constantly repeated, incapable of completing the question. With that, he turned his head sharply to the left of the room and spotted the front door—sitting there as usual—waiting for someone to open it and use it for what it was worth. Roxas made a mad dash for that door and once there, he slapped a hand on the surface and the other tightly gripping onto the knob.
No, no. No time for hesitation, dammit. What if Axel was right outside? Just waiting? What if he was?
Roxas could already picture Axel simply sitting there with his back against the wall with a cell phone in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. But, no, Axel wouldn't joke about this happening! He was smarter than that...he wasn't an attention seeker like that. Regardless on if there would be a drunken Axel behind that door or not, Roxas was willing to throw it open and save the guy.
Come on, come on...
But no one was there...
However, blood was.
"What the...hell?"
Roxas' adrenaline was already in the process of skyrocketing out of his system. The sight of blood anywhere else but television was out of whack. While there wasn't a pool just sitting around, it was more than Roxas had ever seen. Tiny gravitational droplets were scattered around his doorstep while a few streaks were painted on the lower part of the spackled wall at his left. And when Roxas turned—still in his black and white PJs and still with a hand to his mouth—there he saw tiny splatters on the white, white door.
"To erase this mess—"
He wanted to...but couldn't by pressing a button like that.
Roxas slammed the door shut behind him and promptly ran out into the streets.
Drop On By
Roxas finally made the decision to call Axel's number when he couldn't find him at or across the video store, the beach or at the ice cream parlor. People were staring at him, people were pointing and gawking. A kid in his PJs and socks at one in the afternoon...
"Pick up, pick up..."
"...Roxas—"
"A-Axel! Wh-where—?"
"...if you're calling to...talk...sorry. I can't exactly...reach my phone where I'm at. So, you ok with voicemail? But just so you know, you know, what's up with...all this stuff...I screwed up. And I got in trouble...So if you're still up to...visiting...I'm at home. I'll be here 'til I stop feelin' like it. Hm...hahaha..."
Reminisce
Axel started wondering—as he sat there alone, dizzy and numb—if he was now considered fucked up, in the other meaning of the phrase. Ah, he was too tired to think about it. Walking around most nights and creeping into places he wasn't meant to be was tiresome enough. But with analyzing and getting beat down on top of that, boy, his body couldn't be any more done in.
Hm. It'd been fun...it'd been fun...
Su Casa?
It was 1:14 in the afternoon by the time Roxas could see Axel's apartment complex standing right across the street. Being this late in the afternoon, people were just following the radio announcer's advice in enjoying the last bit of summer left. And here Roxas was—dashing through crosswalks and earning stink-eyes from people when he'd smash against them from behind.
He hated that the residence was an indoor facility—meaning that every single apartment was inside with hallways and twists and turns, unlike his own which could be easily accessed by simply going to the top of the stairs and ringing the doorbell. Roxas suddenly felt like moving to Axel's building even though he disliked the atmosphere.
They'd be closer, and there appeared to be more safety.
"This is ridiculous..."
The Saying Goes: "Curiosity Killed..."
Oh, did he just blackout again? Hm. That's a funny feeling, blacking out. All he'd done was shut his eyes for a couple of seconds. And now he was awake five minutes later, judging by the clock. Strange that Axel could even read the time right now.
He chuckled and leaned back. Ow. Bruise...
What're the odds of shutting his eyes, and being able to wake up again?
"Let's...not try that one."
Elevators Fail
1:20 PM.
He seriously had to wait for some old lady to open the door of the building before he was able to get inside. He couldn't get in without a buzz-in from someone inside the building.
She'd called him a nice boy, asked him if he knew anyone in the apartments and before he even answered she'd waddled off into the partly cloudy day. Roxas watched her go for a second before shaking his head and bolting into the reception area where there were two elevators to his left. He tried to avoid knocking over a potted plant on his way toward them and nearly broke his finger when smashing the up button.
He tapped his foot impatiently on the carpet as the numbers above one elevator began counting down from six. Honestly, did it take this long to count backwards?
So while he waited, Roxas eyed the up button in front of him and upon spotting a droplet of dried red at his feet, ran into that elevator even before it had the chance to open up halfway.
holy SHIT. what in the heck happened to poor axel?? i'm pretty sure that those voicemails of his gave SOME speculation. but roxas is too out of it to think. like me. xO honestly, i'd NEVER forgive my boyfriend if he went off and did something as stupid as axel did. i'd pretty much blame him for scarring my mind for eternity and giving me the reason to burn a night club down. or maybe i'll just sit at home and wait for someone ELSE to come around. then again...axel would be hard to give up, don't you think?
well, there's one more chapter after this, folks! let's keep truckin' through here...
what's YOUR nighttime profession?
kokoro77
