OK here it is, the next chapter. I know it seems like a lot of Tommy, but I promise the story is more than just him! It's just the beginning! So I hope you enjoy this next chapter, because it was really hard to write. I'm just worried that I'm not getting Tommy's character right so I'm being really hard on myself and triple checking Everything. But anyways...Thanks SOO much to those of you who are reviewing...it means so much to me that you all like the story and are reviewing. And a special thanks to my sister Sara, you have been so helpful, letting me just bounce ideas off you, so just Thank you again to everyone!
Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or the characters.
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Tommy hops into his viper and doesn't look back and isn't quite sure where forward is going to take him. He knows that everyone thinks he's probably going to run again, after all thats all he has ever really been good at. He ran from school to join Boyz Attack. He ran away from Boyz Attack to start his own career which he then ran from to be a producer. Finally he ran from that and Jude to where ever he was right now.
He just doesn't know what to do with himself and he's doing everything in his power to just keep his mind on the road.
20 some minutes later
Tommy pulls up in front of the Chrome Cat and puts the car into park. He didn't really know how he ended up here, but since he was why not see what Jude had done to the place.
From the outside it still looked like the broken down dump that it was when she first rented the rehearsal space. Which didn't surprise him. Jude had always been the type to not judge a book by it's cover and hated people who did. So of course she would keep the building the same, because she wanted people to value what came from inside. She would want people to value the music without all the glamour.
Tommy decided that he wanted to start easy and look at the rehearsal space before going down to the original Chrome Cat, to Judes apartment.
The place was empty, thankfully.
Tommy couldn't believe it. It looked the same. There were minor differences. Some of the equipment was new and it was cleaner, but nothing else was different. She hadn't replaced the paint or furniture and if anything she had maybe added some older looking furniture.
Looking around he felt like he was back to that first night where Jude had sung Not Standing Around. That night was when he realized that she may have been a kid, but she had been through so much that in some ways she was more of an adult than him.
That night Jude proved to everyone that she was a star and that it was going to take more than a few people saying she was a one hit wonder to make her stop singing. Looking back Tommy likes to think that that was the night he really fell in love with Jude.
Going out onto the fire escape Tommy remembered their conversation. He remembered promising her that if ever the door was locked he would just break down the door. But what he did he do only months later. He leaves her and doesn't even come back for her funeral. So much for door breaking.
Not being able to stand being outside anymore, Tommy goes back into the building where he finds Speiderman sitting on the one couch playing his guitar.
"What are you doing here?" Speed asks not even looking up.
"I honestly don't know. I just got in my car and drove and this is where I ended up." Tommy says heading to the door. "But I'll leave if you want. I have no reason to be here. I just wanted to see what she had done. I'll leave you alone."
"I loved her." Speed says standing up and setting his guitar down. "She knew too. She told me she wished things could be different, but she also said that my love for her had to do with the music we made together and nothing to do with her being her." Speed admits putting his hands in his pocket as a sign he won't punch Tommy again.
"I'm sorry. I know that sounds really lame right now, but I don't know what else to say." Tommy says turning and looking at Speed.
"I blamed you. For everything. For her not loving me, for her being so sad, and even for her death." Taking a deep breath he continues."But I know now it's not your fault that she didn't love me. You can't help who you love, because if you did I doubt you'd be here right now. Because if you could help who you love, you'd probably be with Sadie or someone closer to your age and would seem to be more your style." Speed then turns his back on Tommy walking over to the drums and sitting on the stool. "I still blame you for her being sad and partly for her death, and even if it's childish, I always will. But I want you to know she loved you and no matter how badly you hurt her or how mad she was at you, she always loved you." With that said Speed bashes on the base drum as if to break the tension building in the room.
"Why are you telling me this? How do you know all of this?" Tommy asks walking towards the window looking out and wondering if maybe this is all just a bad dream and he'll wake up to it being 8 months earlier and it will the morning of Jude's release party.
"That's simple. Jude. She told me. The night she bought this place we talked for hours. She told me everything, starting at her 16th birthday to the day you left and let me tell you. After listening to her tell me all that I thought you were the biggest scum bag on the earth and I couldn't understand how she could love someone who could kiss her and be there for her one second and then take it all away the next."
"Yeah I know what you mean. I don't know how Jude could stand me, let alone love me after everything I've done to her." Tommy says sitting down. "I mean I spent so much of my time pushing her away and then the second she found someone else I was pulling her close to break them up. Like with you two. I got with Sadie and did my best to keep Jude at arms length, but when I saw her with you I just knew that I couldn't be with Sadie when my heart was with Jude. I feel like an ass to say this now but I really did try my best to break you guys up." Tommy says giving Speed a sheepish look.
"Hey man, you weren't the only one. I realized that when James and I found you two here on her 17th birthday that I wasn't going to be with Jude much longer. She loved you and I was just her friend which she shared awesome music chemistry with." Speed says just shrugging. "She told me about that night. Everything you guys said to each other. I think that was the best way for her to explain why me and her would never work. Because like with you and Sadie, her heart was with you and not me." Speed says looking at Tommy.
"Why are you telling me all of this? You should be hating me right now. Not trying to help me." Tommy says all bewildered.
"I'm saying this because Jude can't and I know she would want to. Because even if I do hate you she loved you." Speed says standing up and putting the drum sticks back on the snare. "You don't have to leave here or Toronto. This is just as much yours as it is Jude's. She left it to you. Kinda surprised us all that she had a will to begin with, but even more so that is said you got the Chrome Cat and all her musical belongings. I guess she figured that you'de understand her reasonings for buying the place." And with that Speed walks to the door, but not before tossing a set of keys to Tommy.
"What are these for?" Tommy asks looking at the ring with the guitar keychain.
"There the keys to the building. There's a key on there for the door to the roof, for this room here, the door to enter the building, and the door for Jude's apartment. It's all yours, everything should still be there." Speed says before turning to leave.
"Are you telling me that Jude's stuff is still downstairs, untouched. You guys were just going to wait and see if I came back." Tommy says in disbelief.
"Well yes and no." Speed says turning around. "Darius came over since none of us could stand to look at what was left of Jude's life and he took her clothes and some of her books and put them in charities. He also cleaned out her kitchen so nothing would spoil. No one really knew if and when people would be back into that apartment. Turns on no one has since D though. So if you're up to it, it's the pink key on the key ring." And with that Speed left Tommy standing in the middle of the rehearsal space looking down at the pink key.
Was he up to it? What would he find it he did go? Tommy was almost to afraid to find out.
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OK! Is it it good? Is it bad? Or possibly somewhere in between? Please review and let me know what you think!
And I know Speiderman's character seems REALLY serious and REALLY grown up. But after Judes death I just think he would sort of grow up. So I hope you're all ok that he isn't so childish anymore!
