DP: How much longer is this?

A: If you don't like it, you can stop annoying me while I write.

DP: But I like annoying you. It keeps me entertained.

A: I bet it does.

DP: Have you gone any further in my comics?

A: Yeah, I bought Deadpool: The Complete Collection, Volume 3 for $38.

DP: *silent*

A: What?

DP: *grabs the Author in a bone-crushing hug*

A: *trying to squirm away* Wade, what is this for?

DP: You took the money out of your Comic-Con savings for me!

A: Oh, jeez...


"Hey, Peter, we need to talk." Joel approached the other boy in the library, looking slightly apprehensive. The brunet put down the textbook he was reading and looked at Joel. "I, uh, haven't been completely honest with you."

"You haven't really told us much about you to begin with, so I'm sure this will come as a surprise either way." Joel sat down, fidgeting with his hands. "Hey, whatever it is, it can't be as bad as it seems."

"I guess the first thing I should tell you is that I'm not seventeen." Peter raised an eyebrow. "Hell, I'm not even really in high school. I dropped out seven years ago." Joel sighed. "I'm twenty-one." He dug his wallet out of his back pocket to show his driver's license. "And, oh God, this is going to sound so stupid coming from me, but," he leaned in close, "I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers. They want Spider-Man."

Peter tilted his head to the side. "So they sent you instead of Iron Man or Captain America or even Nick Fury?" Joel's eyes narrowed. "I'm just saying. I mean, no one's ever heard of..."

"Look, I honestly don't know why they sent me but if I can do this, I can be an official Avenger. I'm only honorary right now." Joel raked a hand through his hair.

Peter seemed to mull this new information over. "What are your powers?" Joel slumped in his chair. "If you show me your powers, I might take this into serious consideration."

"You are a piece of work," Joel muttered, grabbing the boy's hand and pulling him into the stacks. "Now just stand still and keep your trap shut." Joel closed his eyes and took a deep breath; when he opened them, they were no longer brown but a glassy blue. As Joel rose his eyes to the ceiling, Peter felt himself leave the floor. Looking down, he watched as he went where Joel's eyes did.

"O-okay! Put me down. Joel, put me down, seriously!" Joel lowered Peter back to the floor and quirked an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "So you're basically an X-Man? Did you ever consider going to the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning? It's like an hour from here."

Joel sighed. "One of these days, I'll tell you everything there is to know about me, but for now, just think it over." He gave Peter a small smile before vanishing in a flash of light.


Joel walked outside after fifth period and punched the side of the building. Seven years out of the classroom really screws things up; he'd been chewed out (and subsequently laughed at) for being unable to fully comprehend a simple science experiment. After making a passing comment about intentionally mixing the wrong ingredients (which would have caused an explosion), he was sent to the office, where he was just barely able to convince the principal to not call "his parents" and agreed to a week of lunchtime detention.

"Hey, kid." Joel looked around and saw a man in a smoking jacket. "C'mere. I got something to show you."

"I got something to show you too," Joel mimicked his tone before raising both middle fingers. "I'm not a kid, nor am I stupid. Fuck off, creep."

The man smirked. "You asked for it," was all he said before Joel felt something crack against the back of his head and he blacked out.


The next thing he knew, he was wet. Joel came to as a bucket of water was thrown in his face. "You're awake," said the man. "And wet."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock," Joel snarled. "What do you want from me?"

"You, Mr. Richardson, possess powers far greater than any currently known mutant. We would like your help in eliminating a little issue we have here at HYDRA."

Joel froze; he knew the organization all too well. Whatever they wanted to use him for, Joel knew he was going to regret it.

"We know you're the Avengers' little brat. As you have inner connections to the team, you will destroy them from within."

Joel shook his head vehemently. "No. No fucking way. They're my family. They care about me."

The man chuckled darkly. "That's where you're wrong. They merely tolerate you. Your knack for attracting trouble is what's going to get you kicked back to the streets where they found you." Joel paled, closing his eyes and trying to shut out the man's voice. "You're a burden on them, Joel. They don't care about you. We do. We won't put a leash on your powers."

Joel pulled his knees to his chest, trying to keep his breathing steady. "You're lying. They thought I was asleep, but I heard everything. I'm like their son."

"You're a very foolish boy." Joel's eyes flashed blue and he raised a hand, blasting the man into the wall. "Isolate him!" Two burly men hurried over; one tased Joel, the other hoisted him over his shoulder and carried him away.


"Does anyone know where Joel is?" Tony asked. He'd been up and down the tower looking for him. "He's not answering his phone." Everyone in the room shrugged. "He is in so much trouble. I told him to come home after school."

The elevator dinged and it opened to reveal Peter and Wade, both in civvies, with Wade once again donning his prop sunglasses. "Joel wasn't in sixth period. We thought he might've just come back here."

"He is so getting an extension on that grounding," Tony muttered.

"Did Joel talk to you?" Steve asked, walking over to Peter. "About... you know?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah, he did. Told him I'd think it over." Wade kept nudging his side. "What?" Wade opened his satchel and pulled out a leather-bound album. "Wade, you really brought that with you?" Wade continued to nudge him and nod up to Steve. "Fine. I'll ask him." He groaned. "Will you sign Wade's Captain America trading cards? He wouldn't shut up about them all the way up here."

"There are more pressing matters right now. Where the hell is Joel? He'd better be abducted if he's not answering his phone."


Joel's eyes flickered open and he looked around to find himself in a cell. He knew that the Avengers cared about him and that they'd be out to find him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" A voice asked. Joel looked up to see Travis Cartwright in the cell beside him.

"I should ask you the same question. I don't recall you being anything more than a teenage douchebag." Joel leaned up against the bars and looked at the redheaded boy.

Travis looked at his hands. "My dad puts me in here as punishment. It really sucks being the kid of a HYDRA agent." He was silent for a minute. "Joel, I'm sorry about—"

"It's fine." Joel shook his head. "Just forget about it. How do we get out of here?"

Travis pointed to an airduct above Joel's cell. "Through there. It's the only way out that doesn't require a key." Joel nodded. "I know what you're thinking. Save yourself. My dad will let me out eventually, but he won't let you go until you agree to whatever diabolical plan he has."

"Hell no, you're coming with me, kid." Joel placed his hands on the bars between the cells and concentrated. "I may be selfish, but I ain't cruel." He felt his hands heat up and Travis backed away to the other side of his cell, eyes wide. "Don't act so surprised, Trav. Seriously, I'm five-foot-four and I kicked three jocks' asses." A few minutes later were to no avail. "Fuck!"

"Joel, I—"

"Quiet. Let me think." Joel looked around, eyes finally fixating on Travis. "You're the smallest one of the bunch. You might actually be able to squeeze through these." Joel grabbed the bars and was able to bend them only slightly, but enough for Travis to get through.

"You are so cool," Travis grinned once he joined Joel on his side.

"Don't get ahead of yourself." Joel exhaled and opened the airduct. He rose up into the air and slid into the hole, holding out his hands for Travis. "I'll keep you safe, kid. I promise." Travis nodded and allowed Joel to help him in.


"The tracker I put into Joel's phone leads us there." Tony pointed at the underground HYDRA base. "Of course once they find out that we have a very powerful mutant on us, they have to go and abduct him." He turned to the team, flanked by Spider-Man and Deadpool. "We need someone to go down there and—"

"I volunteer as tribute!" Deadpool shouted, startling everyone, and running towards the compound.

Spider-Man face-palmed. "Damn it, Wade."