Writer's note: Ah, also, thank you for the feedback! I've never written a fanfic or story in general, so I'm basically making it up as I go. I hope I don't offend anyone with my ignorance to the different ethnic(?) customs, slang terms, and country/character portrayal!
Misc. note: With a translator in the midst of this blooming romance I kind of imagine (as a joke!) it'd turn out like the episode of the comedy Black Adder where two people make love in the dark with a human translator somewhere in the same room, translating the woman's Spanish sexy-talk to English in a monotonous voice. You can find the clip on Youtube: "Only One of You Has to Be a Virgin! - Blackadder - BBC"
Thanks for reading!
"I hear you're getting friendly with Japan."
The tone of the voice on the other side of the line rose and fell in an exaggerated manner. England held the receiver against his ear and with a pause.
"Yes. What of it?" he asked into the transmitter, uninterested.
"Yeah, you see, there's been tension between me and Japan, since we're both worried about our interests in China and all. Plus, there's kinda, like, a problem at my place with the Japanese immigrating here. You and me, we're allies, right? Riiight?"
"What do you want, America?" England grumbled. A loud laugh made him pull the receiver from his ear reflexively.
"I just think it's great if you can be friends with Japan so I don't have to worry about that kind of stuff, you know, since the both of you would be supporting me," America answered with another laugh.
"You called to bother me about something like that?" England sighed irritably. "We've only known each other for less than a day, don't push your wishlist onto my workload, you git!"
"Wahh, what a meanie!" America joked. "Well, guess that's my cue to go. I'll call ya soon, Iggy!"
"Ugh! Don't bother!" England ended the call and hung the ear piece on the switchhook, almost knocking the candlestick telephone over in annoyance.
"The fact that he's grown so strong so quickly doesn't give him the right to do whatever the bloody hell he pleases," England muttered to himself. His aggravated expression faltered. "… I guess he can do whatever he wants, ultimately… But it's not like I have to agree with it!" He stood up from his seat, fuming. "He's so ungrateful, even after we reconciled after his independence I- K'AUGH-…" England covered his mouth with his hand just in time, though some of his blood escaped between his fingers. He peeled off his sullied glove and dabbed his mouth with a handkerchief.
"Damn, I can't be ill, I need to see Japan soon…"
"Going on a date?" a voice questioned teasingly.
England looked toward the doorway. "Oh bollocks, I thought I had locked the door," he announced as if speaking to himself.
"For a so-called-gentleman, you've got quite a bad mouth, England," the man said, his twitching eyebrow indicating his patience running low.
"Says the arsehole who groped my special guest last night," England retorted sourly. "Clear off and satisfy yourself with your own French maids instead, will you?"
"That's… it!" France launched himself at England and struggled as they held each other in a fair lock until a sudden scream put a stop to the fight.
"What is with this… BLOOD?!" France stepped back and pulled on his shirt to have a look at the stains. "Did you just finish murdering someone? As expected, from a dark, creepy guy like you, England. I demand compensation! This shirt is the latest fashion in France!"
"YOU are the one bothering ME," England hissed. "Now get yourself and your knob out of here!"
France gasped dramatically in disbelief. "Gee, I wonder what your new Japanese girlfriend would think after seeing how you REALLY are, you… you friendless JERK!" he yelled out from the doorway, sniffling as he left with his depressing accordion music.
England huffed and let out an exasperated sigh as he stood in the middle of the room. Was he really that bad of a guy… ? He did his best to leave a good impression on Japan by bringing out the boldness he once had during his olden days of privateering. Without it, he'd be his usual tactless self.
"Does that... make me a liar?"
"But if you don't like pink, there's always beige, or… crème! Yes, crème!"
"Oh, but don't you think a pastel yellow suits him? It'd be fitting for their date."
"You're both wrong, lavender is popular this season. Don't any of you know anything about fashion?!"
Japan timidly looked between the three maids while holding every dress they threw at him. If they knew he was male, why exactly were they having him try on dresses?
"Miss, what do you think?"
"Eh?"
"The maids are asking what color dress you'd prefer," Yasuhiro clarified, holding two dresses and comparing them by raising each at eye level.
"Oh, ahh…" Japan pondered for a while. "Well, when I think of Igirisu-san... I feel that he embodies the color red-"
"Perfect, try this on," Yasuhiro interrupted, holding the red dress in his left hand out to Japan.
Japan undressed in his bedroom, lost in his thoughts. What was England doing right at this moment? Where would they be going? What does the future have in store for them? Though the Empire of Japan had been growing without the aid of allies, he felt vulnerable because of Russia's expansion. Japan looked in the mirror at his bare skin.
"You look absolutely beautiful!" the maids squealed, getting up from their seats to cluster around Japan in delight.
"Your skin is so smooth and perfect! Are all Japanese like that?"
The red dress emphasized Japan's small waist and was bell-shaped at the hips. Pleated chiffon circled his shoulders and stopped just above his elbows. He stood in the midst of the ladies meekly as they made a fuss over him.
"Well I could have thought of that," one of the maids said, referring to the choice in dress.
"But you didn't," another replied flatly.
"Save your dress-up party for later," Hayashi said as he entered the guest room. "I have a different agenda for you today, Honda. Yasuhiro, tell the maids to inform Igirisu-san of the change of plans and send him our deepest apologies."
Japan stared at the floor, silently complying with Hayashi's order. The maids followed suit and filed out of the room quietly, taking the dresses in their arms.
"As of now, it seems that only Igirisu-san and his three best maids know about the 'sex revelation' incident," Hayashi stated. "All others who know of our coming here as Japan's representatives believe the disguised Honda was simply our way of flaunting the beauty of Japanese women." He circled Japan slowly with his hands behind his back as he spoke. "During this week, you will have to remain in that disguise. Once we return home, you will resume your role and we will simply fabricate a story about the female-you immigrating elsewhere."
If Japan wasn't going to see England after all, where would he be going and why? He looked out the window as disappointment and longing flooded his subconscious. He could only describe what he was feeling as sadness without a clear reason. The sun was going to set soon.
