I apologize for disappearing. Between college and finding the true wonders of tumblr, I've lost my creativeness... but my main issue is that I have a hard time paying attention transferring the story from my notebook to my laptop. -_-
~3 years later - Annabel; 14 B; 16~
The passing years since Axel's death was more upsetting than the last. Everything just seemed so pointless to me. Life felt empty without my brother by my side. Sure, I had B, but it wasn't the same in the least. B was actually starting to worry for me as my depression worsened.
The dramatics of today was that B had killed a bird, so Roger was scolding him. I stayed out of the way and hid in our room. Getting sick of sitting around, I headed into our connected bathroom and stared a bubble bath. I hid as much as I could beneath the bubbles, enjoying the scent of strawberries. I preferred roses, but I wasn't going to take over his room.
Hearing the door open and slam, I slid up a bit. B crept into the bathroom and sat beside the tub. "Angel Afterlife." He whispered with a smirk.
I glanced over at him. "Why you calling me that?" I asked.
B kept his smirk, "You are an angel. At least cute enough to be one. Don't worry about the afterlife part for a while." He said, taking off his shirt. He was very thin, almost an unhealthy level of thin, but it looked attractive on him.
"Can I take a bath in peace?" I asked, closing my eyes.
B laughed. "Well, you can take a bath with me." He said petting my face.
I opened one eye. "B, get out." I snapped.
He ignored me and stripped down to his boxers. He gave a rebellious smile and got into the tub.
I gave him a cold glare, refusing to let my eyes leave him. I hated that we had such a huge tub.
B moved closed closer and wrapped his arms around my with a surprisingly gentle touch. Something was up with him.
"BB, what's wrong?" I asked, destroying my anger towards him.
He hid his face into my neck. "If I couldn't see when you were to die, I'd be more worried about you. Your eyes show how bad you want to end your life." He gave me a soft kiss on my ear and whispered, "I love you, Annabel Lee Anarchy."
I looked down at him the best I could, lifting his face up. "B, please don't worry about me. As long as you are with me, I'll be okay." I couldn't get myself to say it back to him. Not yet.
B's arms tightened around my waist protectively. I ruffled his hair, soothingly. There was a knock at the door, causing us to jump. Before we could separate or give the approval to enter, L walked in.
I ducked under the bubbles more, while B glared at L. He simply shrugged. "Well this is awkward. Annabel, I need to speak with you." With that he walked out.
B took this time to get out so I could finish my business in the bath. I got out and wrapped the towel around my waist and went into the bedroom. Disregarding B's presence I took the towel off to dry my hair and rummage through my drawers to get clothes. I dug out a pair of black sweatpants and a bright pink tank top.
B smirked, staring at me. "You are such a tease, my angel."
I looked over at him and started combing my hair. "I'm pretty sure I'm not." I said heading out to see what L wanted.
I always hated walking to L's office. It was just hard to grasp that he even had an office, especially since Watari used it most. L stared at me from the moment I walked in til the moment I sat down, only then did he look away, putting his thumb to his lips.
"A, for your safety we've decided it might be best if you were transferred to another orphanage. One without stress and chaos for you." His words were very emotionless, like he didn't care that most of my childhood was in this one hellhole of an orphanage.
"What!? Y-you can't do that! This is my home!" I exclaimed, standing up.
L climbed out of his seat and walked over to me. Even hunched over, he towered over me. "Miss Anarchy, you are hurting from your brother's death, still. It has been three years and you are getting worse. Watari and I feel it's best to get you away from here."
"If you send me off to another orphanage, what will happen to BB?" I asked, trying to be calm.
"Roger feels it would be best if he went to an asylum for a while." L spoke in his monotonous tone.
I glared at L. "B isn't insane. He's a bit screwed up, but most definitely not asylum status." I said harshly.
L closed his eyes, rubbing his foot against his ankle. He wanted to stay calm, but he was about ready to snap a bit. "Miss Anarchy, he killed 2 birds, a squirrel and abused a rabbit. We've had a psychological examiner come in and observe him. He needs to be treated. If not, his killings might progress to humans. He might even hurt you. Back up needs treatment." His tone hinted to the urgency of it all, and his eyes showed his fear, worry and many other emotions no one believed existed.
The worst thing was, I knew L was right. B did need help, but I refused to accept it because then we'd have to be apart. Plodding out of the room and heading to mine, I couldn't help but start to tear up. This was a serious issue, and I didn't want to believe it was happening.
Reaching the room, I laid in my bed avoiding B's stare. While I was away, he was eating his strawberry jam while reading his favorite manga book.
"Annabel, what's wrong?" He asked.
Before I could open my mouth to speak, tears started pouring out. Telling him what was going to happen made it very real. He climbed into my bed and sat beside me combing his fingers through my hair.
I turned to look at him for a moment. His crimson red eyes could make anyone believe he was insane. The ability they gave him…proved L's point. B would progress to murder. That seemed like it was an unavoidable situation, and if he ended up killing me in the end…I was okay with that. I would be happy to be killed by the man I loved.
"They…wan…" I started crying once more, even worse this time. The only sounds I could get out were whimpers and gasps as I tried to breath from crying so hard. Eventually, I just cried myself to sleep with B holding me protectively.
In the morning his strong arms held me in place. B was still fast asleep. He looked innocent and so much more at peace. In the morning sunlight, I noticed a glisten from where a tear had fallen from the corners of his eyes. B had been crying. I wiped the last of the tears that fell and cradled his head into my arms.
His grip tightened as he let out a wail.
"Shh! What's wrong?" I asked soothingly, ruffling his morning hair.
He sniffled sitting up. He looked so pained and like a young child. To see him in such a vulnerable state was heartbreaking.
"I don't wanna lose you. I don't wanna go anywhere!" He exclaimed with another wail.
I looked at him. How could he have known that?
"You were talking in your sleep. You mentioned I was going to a place for kooky people and you were going to a less gifted orphanage." He spoke with sniffles.
I frowned. "Don't worry. When you are 18, you can get away from here. You'll never have to deal with them again." I hoped I sounded reassuring.
"But, I would be leaving you behind. I can't do that." His eyes gleamed, "We could run away! Pack what's most valuable, get away. We could go to London, or Japan, or the states. Anywhere you wanted, we could go!" He was so excited he actually jumped off the bed digging for his suit case.
"Stop with the drivel!" I demanded, making him stop his search, "We have no money. We would make it to the street and be brought right back or killed."
He sighed, "We could steal the money from Roger's safe, we could rob a bank, hijack a train, or just steal a car." The more he countered with ideas, the more excited he got. He went back to searching for his suit case.
I let out an annoyed sigh. "What the hell are we? Bonnie and Clyde?" I had to admit, the thought of living like them would have been a lot of fun, but the reality was, they lost and were murdered.
He grinned, "Much better. Angel Afterlife and Beyond Birthday." He was already trying to get a name for us to work.
Sick of his nonsense, I headed outside and climbed one of the trees on Wammy's property. As much as I hated the place, the view was wonderful. For the most part, it was all green grass with mini gardens on the property. Far off near the forest was a little cemetery for employees, and other children who passed away. So far, my brother was the only child in the cemetery.
A few moments later, B's head popped up onto the tree branch. "Annabel, I promise we'll be together forever. Nothing will separate us." He said climbing onto the branch with me. Out of nowhere he grabbed my boobs. "For 14, you shouldn't be reaching a C cup." He muttered, giving them a squeeze.
I pushed his hands away. "Leave the luscious beauties alone." I demanded, starting to climb down.
B watched me climb down, then followed at a safe distance. We walked into the hell hole and went to our room. We just laid in my bed and just cuddled. The silence between us was soothing.
Glancing at the clock realizing it was well past one meant I missed breakfast and lunch. B glanced at me, then at the clock. He licked my cheek then headed to one of his drawers and dug out a secret jar of jam. "You taste delicious, but everything is always better with jam." He said with a grin.
I smiled and shook my head with mock disapproval.
He crawled into the bed and sat on top of me, rubbing my belly and sides. He nuzzled into my neck. I went to comb my fingers through his hair, but he pushed them down.
"Annabel, Angel, you'll enjoy this." he whispered, nipping my ear, then leaving kiss trails to my neck, nipping on occasion. "I promise to not cross too many lines." In a teasing matter, he played with my jeans button.
"Please keep to that, B." I begged.
He kept both hands on my tummy and buried his face into my beck. "Annabel Lee Anarchy, I promise to not cross any lines unless given verbal permission, when you are thinking straight." He said with a smirk.
I smiled and held him in my arms. I put too much trust in him, something I should have never done.
He rolled off of me and opened a jar of jam that was on the nightstand. He shoved his fingers in then pulled out licking the jam clean off. He put only one finger in this time, and only scooped up a little bit. B moved his finger to me. I smiled and licked it off. I wasn't a huge fan like B was, but I did like the taste of strawberries.
B smiled and kissed my lips roughly, forcing entrance with his tongue. The taste of strawberries really made it amazing. Instantly B was tugging at my shirt. When I refused to let him take it off, he took out a knife and cut at my shirt, tearing it off. I looked at him confused and horrified. "B, what the hell are you doing?" I asked in a panic.
B rubbed my arms lovingly as he nipped my ear. "Annabel, my dearest angel, think of happier things to drown out this pain I'm to cause. This is an act that must be done." He whispered soothingly in my ear.
I was about to protest whatever B had in mind, but B took out handcuffs and cuffed me to the bed. My eyes widened in fear as I moved frantically in hopes of keeping him away. "Angel, I don't want to tie you down complete, but I have no problem doing it." He spoke in a dark tone, with a smirk to match.
I frowned and let my body go limp. I closed my eyes and imagined I was four again, with Axel being six. We were playing in Mom's garden.
Hearing the zipper of my pants go down and feeling my jeans slide off a bit, snapped me back to reality. "B, stop!" I screamed.
He put his finger to my lips. "Shh, it'll be over soon." He whispered. I tried to kick him away but he held my feet down. I could feel the tears reaching the corner of my eyes.
Once all clothing for my lower body was off, he tied my feet down. I let out a fear filled scream. B looked at me with hurt eyes. "Annabel, you want this. I know you do. Please, don't be afraid or tune it out." He said.
I shook my head frantically, "Nononononono. No. Please, I don't want this!" I said softly, panicking.
He grabbed my chin with a smirk, "You're lying." He said with a small laugh before kissing me forcefully. He climbed off the bed to strip off his clothes.
I closed my eyes and thought about everything and anything, as long as it wasn't this. I couldn't face this. I dealt with a lot in my life, I didn't want one more mentally scarring thing to happen. However, it was unavoidable at this point.
B gave no warning, just entered. I let out a whimper, pleading for him to stop. He ignored me. B tangled his fingered into my hair while he thrusted in and out. I had let my mind wander the best it could. It was hard to do, with B whispering in my ear every few moments. I didn't bother fighting back. I just laid there, letting tears run down my cheeks.
Glancing over at the clock, only a minute had passed. "B, please, stop." I pleaded once more.
He pulled my hair, forcing me to look at him. "Shut. Up. Annabel." He snapped, forcing contact with his hand to my cheek. A loud squeal escaped my lips out of shock.
"Annabel, we need to finish discussing your transfer." Watari said, knocking on the door.
B unlocked the cuffs and bolted off the bed. I took advantage of that to hide in the bathroom, locking me away from everyone. I slid against the door to the cold tile floor, crying. I could hear the muffled conversation between Watari and B. "Don't take her!" B shouted. Now he was the frantic one.
I pulled my hair back, covering my ears letting out a scream. I didn't want to hear his voice. I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want him in my life.
"Annabel? Open up. What's wrong?" The elder man asked, knocking on the door. His voice was soothing and also was very worried. I moved to the tub to keep distance between me and the world.
B had banged on the door so hard, knocking it to the floor. Taking the chance, he ran to my side and hugged me. Every fiber in my being wanted to fight him away, but I just couldn't find the energy. The only thing I managed to do was scream in hopes he's back off.
"Annabel, where are your clothes?" Watari asked from the doorway, glancing to the floor where the shattered remains were. His eyes widened, turning his attention to B. I half expected him to collapse on the floor from a heart attack.
"B, go on your bed. I'm getting her out of here." He spoke in a harsh tone that was rare from Watari.
B glared at him but obeyed. While he sat on his bed, he kept his attention to his jar of jam on the night stand. I quickly grabbed the shirt I could find, which happened to belong to B. Putting it on, Watari and I headed out, locking B in his room alone.
Watari and I walked into Roger's office where L happened to be as well. I sat on the open chair, putting my kneed into my chest, not caring who could see what.
"A, why are you not wearing underwear?" L asked.
I kept my attention to my toes, not wanting to speak to anyone. Watari had begun explaining to Roger what had taken place minutes before.
"We need her here. She'll have better protection with us, than in a different orphanage." Watari explained.
My eyes widened at that. They were going to send me away?
"Well B needs to get out of here. We'll call the London hospital later. Right now she needs to be checked." Roger said, getting on the phone to call the local hospital informing them to expect our arrival. It made no sense to me why we were to drive out to have it done when we had our own hospital here.
Watari, L and I headed to the car. Watari drove while L sat in back to keep me company. I never imagined to ever leave Wammy's house for anything.
I sat in the hospital room with L holding my hand for moral support. Watari and one of the nurses were out in the hallway arguing. It was rather humorous how female illiterate he was. Surely drew up some questions how much worse L probably was.
"Annabel, you are a beautiful young woman. I must admit, I'm afraid to see you in your twenties or thirties, how beautiful you'll be then." L babbled, "Maybe I feel the need to protect you, or maybe it's because there will never be another woman to enter my life quite like you have, so I ask for your hand in marriage."
I raised an eyebrow. L was too smart to know how to make jokes, but it was hard to take this seriously. "No. I will not." I answered bluntly. I wasn't going to beat around the bush with him.
Watari had walked in on my answer, "What's going on?" He asked, out of curiosity.
"I offered something to A that she seemed to have found rude." L explained.
Watari had went back out to find another nurse to discuss whatever he was arguing with the other one about. L figured to tag along in hopes of maybe solving whatever the issue was.
I stared at the ceiling half expecting B to come in to check in on me. Part of me felt let down that it never happened.
"Bel, it kills me to see you in so much pain. And I'm sort of already dead." A's voice said with a small laugh.
My heart stopped. I looked around the room genuinely expecting to see Axel in the room with me. A transparent version of him sat at the foot of the bed. A smile tugged at my lips as my eyes started to water, regardless of how he was, it was nice to see him.
He smiled at me. "Annabel, you are okay. There is nothing wrong with you. B didn't complete the "deed."" A explained reassuringly.
I nodded. I couldn't find my voice as much as I wanted to.
"I understand you are mad at B, but listen to his reasoning." Axel explained, moving closer to me, "He was afraid of losing you. He thought if he could become a father, you two would never have to part."
"Yeah, that worked well. He just reassured his asylum visit." I pointed out.
"True, but he kept you 'home.' They aren't moving you anywhere." Axel looked to the door, "L's coming back. Please keep in mind that B did it out of love, he never meant to hurt you." His already transparent form started to fade until I couldn't see any trace of him left.
L walked in and sat in the chair. "During this visit, please refer to me as Eugene Wright."
My eyes glowed with amusement, "Call me chu chu then!"
Watari let out a laugh, "Pretty sure that movie was way before your time." He teased.
I smiled, "Can I go home now? I don't like it here."
"We have to wait for them to give us the ok from the rape kit." Watari explained.
"It's gonna be negative on anything. I'm fine. Pinky promise." I said waving my pinky in the air, showing I meant it.
Debating whether to trust me or not, they looked at each other with a nod, "We'll leave soon." L had been the one to speak.
Returning home to an empty room made everything real. B was gone, with a good possibility of never coming home. This was my first time ever having my own room. Fourteen years old, and I never had my own room before. I sat on my bed, feeling so small. My last source of happiness was now gone and Wammy's never felt so huge and unfamiliar like it did now. Maybe this was my time to make friends with the new Wammy children.
Maybe not. Walking into the living area, I had received death glares from every child there. Mello had been the one to address me, "What could you possibly want, A?" He asked, taking a bite from his chocolate bar.
I raised an eyebrow at him. "Respect your elders will ya?" I snapped, going to the computer, "And fyi, it's Annabel. Not A."
"Get over yourself. You're A." Mello declared.
"Cute. Really, Little Mihael is going to try and tell me who I am." I teased, logging onto the computer.
Mello laughed, walking over to me. "Considering you don't even belong here, yeah, I think you should be called Anna."
I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I always had a strong dislike for being called Anna. I had no reason for it. I just preferred my whole name or Bel. Even then, only Axel had referred to me as that.
Disregarding his existence and putting my attention back to the computer, I had received an IM. Mello hovered over to read it.
"I could report that to Roger. He made it clear you were to not have any contact with him." Mello pointed out with a smirk.
I flung out of my chair, grabbing Mello by the neck. "Listen you little shit, don't fucking test me, because I can easily fucking kill you." I snapped, shoving him a bit, going back to the computer once more.
Angel Afterlife, I'm sorry for the pain I caused. I'm going to return for you to make up for it. Promise-B.
I deleted it and went on google to look up photography. Maybe this could help pass the days.
The next few weeks were hell. Watari told me next fall I was to attend a public high school. It only made sense since I wasn't really a Wammy child. I wasn't fond of the idea, however I was fond of the fit Mello threw at the news.
hope you enjoyed. thanks(:
