AN: Okay, I hope things should start to make a little more sense after this chapter. Thanks to those who are sticking with me, especially Matute and Straitjakit for your messages and reviews :)

Disclaimer: Well, I guess...maybe Quinn is. But unfortunately the others aren't.

Warnings: Child abuse

After my discovery of Jello I was eager to learn more about this new universe I was in. To try more foods and see new things but the one thing I really wanted to know about was my alternate universe version – Jonas.

I knew he was dead…or dead to the people here but I felt, I don't know, a connection to the man that I could have been. Doctor Janet had said Major Carter was the one who knew most about the quantum mirror but I wasn't really interested in that. Unfortunately, when I approached her, she was.

"Okay, Quinn." She had said, sitting down opposite me with their quantum mirror sat on a table beside us. "I want you to try and tell me exactly what you did before you arrived here."

And it literally had been 'here' in the very room I was sat in - the room next to Jonas' office. I guess that's why they though I might have been Jonas. I'm glad I wasn't conscious to see their disappointment when they realised I wasn't him.

"I…I just touched it." I answered her, wanting to get this talk over with so I could go see Jonas' office.

"Did you see the remote?" She held up a small device and I shook my head. I'd never seen anything like that and I wasn't interested. I was happy here – then it struck me. The reason they were asking so many questions…they wanted to send me back. They wanted to figure out how to get me back to my universe.

And even as my mind came to that conclusion, any pleasure I might have gained from figuring out what the Earthlings wanted of me was crushed by the overwhelming despair I felt at the thought of returning to my home, to my former life.

I think it was then when I realised just how incredibly lucky I had been to have landed in this place. How wonderful this new life was that I had been given. I got food whenever I wanted it, wasn't beaten, punished or shouted at. I had people that I liked to be around and that seemed to like to be around me. And I got to read…

This was such a wonderful gift that when Major Carter had brought me some books while I was still in the infirmary I had immediately got up and pressed my forehead against hers, the sign my people give when there are no words to describe how they feel. Grateful was just such an insignificant word when compared with the amazing privilege I had been given. When she had shown me the huge base library I had nearly fainted. I had never seen so many books in one place. In fact I don't think I had ever seen so many books at all. It had taken everything I could muster to get my stunned brain to connect with my mouth so I could stammer the words,

"I-I can…read any of these books?"

Sam had said she had felt like Santa when she had watched at my face as I looked at the mountain of knowledge surrounding me. Of course I hadn't known what Santa was at the time but now I do I can understand what she meant.

When Colonel O'Neill had said he would go with me one day and I could get some books to own I had actually started crying.

So after these three weeks of paradise the thought of returning to my old life was enough to send my irises swirling with darkness. To return to being little more than object, to being a flawed, disobedient slave and to never have anyone smile at me again…. I could feel my eyes grow darker. And I realised, during my time on Earth, I had become spoiled. I had grown used to not being hit at random and to being fed daily – to sleeping in the warmth with blankets. I didn't want to go back. I clenched my fist as I felt the same feeling I had felt three weeks ago, anger. It wasn't fair! They couldn't give me all this then take it away! It was cruel! It wasn't fair!

"Quinn?" Major Carter's hand was cupping my chin as she watched my eyes swirling with grey and black. "Quinn what's the matter? Talk to me, we can work this out."

I wanted to tell her what I had been thinking but I was in such a state of panic that all I could manage was to sob out.

"It's not fair!" And then I was crying and when she reached out to hug me I pulled back. I knew, the more comfort I took now, the harder it would be when I was back in my universe. Yet as she stroked my cheek with her hand I could feel my resolve crumbling and seconds later I was burying my head in her shoulder, sobbing as she stroked my hair.

"Shhh…shh, it's alright, it's okay, Quinn."

I wanted to tell her that it wasn't alright but the overwhelming fear of being sent home was overriding any capability to form a coherent sentence.

"No." I shook my head against her shoulder. "I don't want to go back!" I could feel my breathing speed up and I pushed myself away from her body, staring her straight in the eyes.

"Please….please, Major Carter. Please don't send me back there!" If I hadn't been in such a panic I might have seen the expression on her face that would have shown me that that thought had never crossed her mind. "Please. I'll be good. I can be a good slave for you. I'll do anything you want! Please Sam! Please don't send me back! I won't bother anyone here any more, I won't eat your food! I-"

"Quinn!" I realised from the sound of Major Carter's voice that she had been calling my name a few times throughout my plea. "Quinn, I'm not sending back through the mirror. I would never do that if you didn't want me to."

"I don't!" I was quick to assure her. "Please…please I don't want to." I stared into her eyes, my irises swirling with grey passion and I visibly slumped from the tense position I didn't know I had been holding as she gave a soft smile and pulled me back to her chest.

"Then I guess you're stuck with me after all."

The notion that I might find being with Major Carter unpleasant was so ridiculous I actually gave a small chuckle. It was the first time I had laughed in a very long time. My previous life hadn't given me any opportunity for laughter and I was reminded again of how lucky I was that I was allowed to live here.

"Thank you, Major Carter." I whispered as she hugged me and then pressed my forehead lightly against hers. "I wish there was a way I could make it up to you." I said earnestly before pulling back from her. I felt like I was so indebted to these people for letting me stay here and I thought of the only thing I had to offer in return. "I'm good you know." I slumped in the chair a little, raising my hips, "I can give you a good time." I licked my lips, looking up at the Major with half lidded eyes. "Any way you want it." I let my voice drop a few tones and let my hand stray to my groin.

"Quinn, stop it!" The sharpness of her voice snapped me out of my seduction and I jumped a little. I wasn't used to getting that sort of a reaction. I couldn't understand what I had done wrong - I'd never had problems like on this at home.

"I…" I didn't know what to say. I'd never been a position like this. There was only one reason I could think of as to why Major Carter hadn't taken me up on my offer – and it saddened me far more than I thought it would. "…Don't…don't you like me?"

And I wasn't even waiting her to answer because I was already convinced I knew what she was going to say. And the thought that she didn't find me attractive was enough to start the tears building in my eyes again. Then I thought of the other reasons, I bet she didn't think I was skilled enough…or maybe…

"You don't want to frack me just because I'm a slave!" I spat out angry, my eyes were black and shining with unshed tears as I surged to my feet. I'd never felt so hurt in all my life. Sure I didn't hurt physically, I mean, I'd beaten within an inch of my life before and hardly shed a tear. But this was somehow different, something much much worse than any physical pain. And as the burst of anger I felt receded and my eyes began lightening again, I sat down and clutched my chest.

"I'm sorry, Major Carter." I whispered, too ashamed by my show of emotion and attempts to seduce her to meet her eyes. "I..I thought you…I…" I looked down at the floor as I mumbled the last words. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"Oh, Quinn." Her mouth was smiling but her eyes looked sad somehow.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered, not knowing what to say to make this up to her. I had offered her the only thing I had, my body - with even that rejected I was adrift, lost and confused.

"Quinn, I'm not angry with you." She said and I relaxed a little - that was one positive thing at least. "It's just…that's not how we do things here." She explained and I sighed.

"This world is confusing." I grumbled a little and, to my delight, Major Carter gave a little laugh at that and playfully ruffled my hair.

"I'm sure it is." She laughed and then grew a little more serious. "Quinn, what was your home like?" She pulled her chair up to mine and grasped my hand, as if giving me some of her strength. It was already obvious to her that my life hadn't been an easy one. Not by Earth standards.

"I…" I sighed, not wanting to draw back from this comforting world into my dark memories but knowing I owed Major Carter at least that much.

"I'm a clone." I said, deciding to start at the very beginning – the gasp of shock from Major Carter told me that was something she hadn't worked out.

"A few years before I was…" I stumbled for the right word, "…made, there was a great war. My people, the kelownans had discovered a substance, a very volatile substance which they named naquadriah."

Major Carter nodded at this and said "We've come into contact with it."

I was surprised at that but continued anyway. "My people used this to build a…a bomb. To fight the Andaris and the Terainians – they were the other nations on my planet." Sam nodded in reply but didn't seem surprised by anything I was telling her.

"But the Andaris and Terainians predicted this – they joined forces and formed a coalition. They took Kelowna before we had even finished building the bomb. There were….thousands of casualties, the entire kelownan race was almost wiped out. The survivors were rounded up into concentration camps and later transferred to medical facilities to be…cloned. The coalition wanted soldiers and their armies were spent from decades of warfare so they…they grew a new one." I took a long breath and looked up at Major Carter. "I think…my universe version of Jonas must have been one of the survivors. I guess I'm a...a doppelganger of a doppelganger." I tried for a weak smile but Major Carter just shook head and told me to carry on.

"Well…I…I was one of the first Jonas clones made but I…I was flawed. They…the coalition…didn't notice at first but when we grew to toddlers…I always wanted to…to touch things and look at stuff the others just, sat and did as they were told."

I winced at Major Carter's horrified expression, she was no doubt shocked that I could've been so disobedient.

"Don't worry." I tried to console her, "They hit it out of me after a while." If anything she looked worse but, not knowing what else to do, I pressed on with the story of my life. "Of course, my childhood was – short. They accelerated our bodies through that stage of growth."

Major Carter's hand was grasping mine painfully, "They did what?" Her voice was incredulous.

"Childhood is an unnecessary part of development." I recited by rote, my voice a flat monotone before blinking and explaining to her "They didn't want children in their army so they accelerated our bodies through that stage of development – using it as a sort of trial period. Drilling their commands into us, starting the conditioning and teaching us the basics of literature and mathematics while our brains were still flexible enough to learn. "

I sighed as I remembered those long nights in the clinical classrooms, the swish of a belt against my back for every mistake. A scar for every error. I felt my free hand straying to my back and Sam frowned softly before moving behind me and lifting my shirt at the back. I could hear her fractured breathing as her eyes strayed over my old wounds.

"Oh God…Quinn…What did they do to you?" When she came back round to face me there were tears in her eyes. "What…" She shook her head fiercely as if rebelling against the idea that anyone could do that to a child. It seemed child abuse was rare on this planet and child abusers were detested. "WHY?" The tears were starting to trickle down her cheeks. "Why, Quinn? Why did they do this too you? HOW could they do this to you?"

"I…" I was stunned by her outburst, I didn't think I would have caused that much of a reaction. "When I…when I made a mistake. Or sometimes…sometimes just for fun." I sighed and took hold of Sam's hand again, not wanting to get sucked in a flashback. "But I…we learned that if we offered our bodies…sometimes they…they took that instead. Sometimes they got offended and hit us worse but the risk paid off sometimes. And I…I know you might think that…raw penetration would be worse than a whipping but…when it got to the point when they'd whipped all the skin off my back…I was willing to do just about anything to keep that belt away from my skin."

Major Carter looked like she was about to be sick and I gave her hand a little squeeze like she had been doing to mine when I got upset.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked and she shook her head but her face was wet with tears and…the thoughts that never should have surfaced began to make their way through their chinks in my programming. "I…I think you do." I said, it wasn't as firm as I had wanted but not bad considering I had just defied a direct order. "I…I think maybe we should talk about this some other time." And as she burst into tears and I pulled her down into a hug I saw Doctor Janet and Colonel O'Neill stood in the doorway with expressions that told me they had heard every word of my speech.

Colonel O'Neill later told me that's when he realised that Jonas and I really were two totally separate, yet, he said, as he watched me fight that conditioning that had been beaten into me just to spare Major Carter getting upset, he realised that there were definitely some similarities there too.