Disclaimer: nothing. Absolutely nothing. I own NOOOTHING
mike owns an out door store but.. I changed it because… uh.. It gives me more to work with. So.. Yeah! ^-^
Oh and um, I update at like 5 AM or.. 3 AM no, it's not because I am eager to write a fanfic. I wish that were the case, but who in their right mind would get up at 3AM to write? HA! Not me! Well, Im not it my right mind but.. Uh.. You get the point. ANYWHO! The reason I do it at night.. Uh.. Morning.. Is because I.. am off schedule on my sleeping. So.. Yeah. I have a theory that if I just stay up later and later 'till im on my normal track, then I can just go from there and hopefully not stay up all night 'till Christmas break.
Wait a minute.. I am supposed to be writing a fanfic aren't I? you wouldn't want to hear about my life. But it won't kill you to pay attention! *glares at my guy friend* jerk.. Your making these poor people suffer. You should listen to me so they don't have to.. OH! WALK AWAY!! YEAH! THAT SOLVES ALL YOUR PROBLEMS DOESN'T IT!?! Actually.. I think it does.. Maybe I should do that.. OH! Im sooo sorry! I forgot that…im uh.. ok sorry here:
LAST TIME WE SAW THE VAMPIRES AND THE CLUMSY ELF LIKE THING NAMED BELLA:
EPOV
There's Jessica. I can finally get her for beating up on my angel, Bella.
I aimed and pulled the trigger, aiming at her bare legs.
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EPOV
How dare she hurt my little Bella. I shall scar her mentally for life. That will surely teach her not to mess with the Cullen's. it'll also scar her physically for a little while. But.. Nothing she can't handle. I smirked to myself as I heard her shriek and saw Jessica fall into a jelly-filled row. With glass containers.
"AH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" she shrieked then stood up and held her arms out uncomfortably, looking over herself. "AAUGH!" a large crowd of people gathered around her and chortled. Some even breaking out into heavy laughter.
"Why thank you. I admire my work as well." I muttered under my breath and silently laughed. Her thoughts rang out in my head as a string of profanities. That girl had quite a colorful acquiring of vocabulary. Almost as bad as Emmet.
I'd have to remember to keep my Bella away from him when he was cursing. I ran away at vampire speed to find my next victim. Preferably someone I hated severely.
Almost as If someone had heard my thoughts, Jacob, walked right by me. How he didn't smell me was a wonder. But I ran by him and shot him over and over again until he was completely green.
I couldn't contain my laughter at this point because his thoughts we're 100 times worse that Emmet's. I rolled on the floor laughing, and he turned around shaking, but not the kind of I'm-so-mad-I-could-cry kind of shake. More of the I'm-so-mad-I-could-explode-into-a-werewolf-and-kill-everyone-in-forks kind of mad. I pulled out the paintball gun and shot his face all over and shot his body until he was completely green.
"IT'S THE HULK!" Emmet screeched and pointed, pretending to be a scared, helpless citizen of a small town.
"IM SO SCARED!" Emmet erupted in laughter and said in between odd facial expressions, "Oh, wait, it's just a really mad, green, smelly, werewolf named Jake." Emmet shot him in the back and wrote a big "E.C." in red paintballs.
EMPOV
I found Edward shooting the mutt and laughing his 100-somthin' year old virgin ass off. I couldn't let him have all the fun.
"IT'S THE HULK!" I screamed and started laughing. And pointing, acting afraid. "IM SO SCARED!" I made scared and frightened faces but they probably just looked like I was constipated. "Oh, wait, it's just a really mad, green, smelly, werewolf named Jake." lucky for Jake, no one was around to hear.
I ran away before he could kill me. I ran but and kept shooting random people in the back of the knees, causing them to fall over. I saw the manager of the store, and let loose all over his back. He turned around looking like he was about to shit the wall. Like.. He had diarrhea or something. Just that thought made me bust out in laughter. He lunged at me and I dodged him repeatedly. And shot him every time I could, which was 30 times a second.
"YOU DAMN YOUNG'UNS! GET OUTTA MY STORE!" he got the gun away from ME! Was he a vampire?! NO! HE WAS A WITCH!
"A WITCH! A WITCH! I SMELL A WITCH!" I burst out laughing but was soon silenced by the paintball gun being pressed to my pants.
"Get. Out. Of. My. Store." he got me. I stared wide eyed down at the man.
"You wouldn't." I squinted my eyes at him.
"Is that a challenge, Young'un?" he squinted his eyes right back and gave me a wicked grin.
"You bet it is old man." I gave him an nice big evil grin showing all my teeth.
"Emmet. I wouldn't do that if I were you!" Alice came into view with her arms up and coming slowly over to me. The rest of the Cullen's came over. Someone was missing, but I couldn't figure out who.
"And why not?" I challenged.
"Because he's got more guts than you think. If you don't surrender in the next minute, he's going to pull the trigger and he won't stop until he's out of ammo."
"Oh… I see." I had just reloaded. This holds about 300 paintballs.
Think how much that would hurt. "Oh" I said again in shock then looked back at the old man.
"Give up yet young'un?" he still held that wicked grin. How was he still holding up to me?!
And as if to hear my thoughts, he answered.
"I served in world war two." I stared shocked.
"WHAT?! WHOA WHOA WHOA! Hold on there partner!" jasper.. Of course.
"What was this that your talkin' about war?"
"NO JASPER! NO!" Alice came over to him and whacked him in the face with a newspaper. He whimpered and hid behind Carlisle.
"Your whipped young'un" he said to jasper. What is up with this old guy!? He's seriously crazy. Threatening a VAMPIRE?! That served in the civil war?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
"OK! LETS GO! HE'S GETTING CREEPY!" alice dragged jasper out from behind Carlisle and Edward dragged me by the ear. Carlisle following peacefully.
"Im sorry about my sons, Sir." he bowed offering peace.
"GET OUTTA MY STORE YOUNG'UN!"
"excuse me?" Carlisle said, stopping.
"You heard me you pesky little kiddo!"
"did you just call me 'Kiddo'?" Carlisle turned towards the old man getting angry.
"I sure as hell did." he paused and aimed the paintball gun at CARLISLE.
"Why you old little fu-" he was cut off by Esme covering his mouth and dragging him out of the store.
We all got in the car and left. But I could help feel that we had forgotten something.
BPOV
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" I stood tall and proud on top of the cereal holder-shelf-things.
"I CLAIM THIS ROW OF ASSORTED CEREALS, CANDY MOUNTAIN!!!!" I threw candy onto my humble servants and jumped down and tied a sheet around my neck from the bedroom sets and ran off around the store and pushed over small children.
"AHAHAHAHAAA!" IM UNSTOPABLE!!!!" I tackled a giant blow-up snowman, and I ate all the candy I could find, and, after that, everything went black.
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Nyahaha.. They forgot Bella. And she's on a sugar high. that's why she never ate sweets around them. Aha! A secret that she failed to keep! And now, she rules candy mountain, and enjoys pushing small children over!
Did you like it, did you hate it? Did you like the crazy old man who challenged everyone? Tell me! Give me tips! I don't care if you're a jerk, because I can handle it! Review! I need it! If I don't get reviews, I don't get any fuel for the fire!
REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! For me! And my poor little Alaskan self!! T-T REEEEVVVIIIEEEWWSSSS!! Please?
~Twilight Wolves… or R.N.W ^.^ I LOVE YOU ALL!…not in the creepy stalker way though. More of a "I love you as a friend." because im not a stalker… unless you smell really, really good. ^-^ (oops, everything was underlined before, it's better now.)
