A/N Before I start, I would like to give a big thanks to my awesome reviewers, especially LinaRush, who reviewed my first two chapters like 10 minutes after I posted them. You guys rock!
Breakdown
Chapter 4: Deal
Carlos watched Logan as he paced around the living room area of 2J, while Kendall sat on the couch grumbling and pressing an ice pack to his sore, bruised cheek.
"Where do you think he went?" Carlos asked in a small, nervous voice, as if any noise would send Kendall into raging, destructive mode.
Logan sighed and finally stood still. "I don't know, Carlos. We've looked everywhere, and Kelly said he's not at Rocque Records. He's probably just roaming the streets or something, until he cools off."
"Well in that case, it might be days before we see him again. Which, I am totally good with," Kendall snapped, venom coating his words.
"Should we be worried?" Carlos wasn't really sure. They'd been in LA long enough that they all knew their way around the city, and Carlos was positive James wouldn't do anything stupid or dangerous, but on the other hand, he was out there all alone, angry and vengeful. Who knew what he might get himself into?
Logan was worried, but he was doing his best not to show it. He wasn't very good at hiding his emotions though, and Kendall and Carlos could tell what he was thinking. He was afraid that James would get himself into some form of trouble, be it an injury or possibly even something that would end up with him in jail. Logan's stomach was twisting with worry.
Kendall was as far on the other end of the concern spectrum as he could be. He really didn't care where James was or what he was up to right now. Maybe he'd get lost and not come back till tonight, or tomorrow, which would be very lucky for him. In Kendall's mind, there was no way James would want to face him anytime soon, not after punching him square in the face and running out the door when all his friends had been trying to do was make him feel better. Kendall was livid, and he knew James was aware of the fact that you do not want to be near Kendall after you pissed him off.
"No, Carlos, he's fine. It's James. He's always fine," Logan responded to Carlos's inquiry.
Carlos was still doubting. "Isn't us thinking he was fine what got us into this mess in the first place?"
Logan swallowed and glanced at Kendall, who casually looked away, lighting a spark of anger inside of Logan. Yes, James shouldn't have freaked out and punched him like that, but Kendall had really been asking for it. There had been absolutely no reason for him to yell at James the way he had. James had been feeling crummy and insecure about the strength of their friendship as it was, and Kendall trying to pick a fight had only made him feel ten times worse. Logan honestly didn't blame James for snapping like that.
But that was beside the point. What mattered now was finding James and calming him down before he did something he'd regret.
Logan pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed James' number. He held the device up to his ear and waited for five rings before it went to voicemail. He decided to leave a message, though he doubted James would even bother listening to it.
"James, please, come back. We're all sorry." He stared pointedly at Kendall while he said this. The blonde just glowered back. "We really need to talk this out. So, please, call back or just come back. I need to know you're okay." Logan snapped his phone shut and dropped it into his pocket, then rubbed at his temples with his index and middle fingers.
"Desperate much?" Kendall's voice sneered, and Logan instantly whirled around and went off on him.
"Shut up, Kendall! I'm worried, and you should be too. I know what state of mind he's in right now, and it's not a good one. He's hurt, can't you see that? He's hurt because of us! Because we were all so stupid! And then you had to go and use your big mouth to make it all worse! I was going to talk to him calmly, but no, you just had to butt in and try to take control of the situation by screaming at him. That's the worst way to try to get through to someone!"
"Then why are you doing it to me?" Kendall was shockingly calm. Logan had expected to be on the floor begging for mercy by now.
Shame washed over Logan, and he lowered his eyes. Kendall was right. He was no better than Kendall right now. Yelling wasn't going to solve anything. Logan knew that, so why was he doing it?
He sighed and flopped onto the couch between Kendall and an oddly silent Carlos. "I'm sorry. I'm just so...I don't know, confused right now. I mean, how did we not see what we were doing to James by attempting to replace him? We're idiots."
Kendall shook his head. "No, Logan, I'm the idiot. I shouldn't have lost it on him like that. That's not what a true friend would do."
"We all should have seen the signs," Carlos admitted, finally joining the conversation.
"We're horrible friends," Logan whispered.
The other two nodded thier agreement, certain that, wherever he was, James was thinking the same thing.
In fact, that exact thought was running through James' muddled mind as he wandered determinedly through the bustling streets of Hollywood. He was over thinking he was the one to blame for this disaster.
They're horrible friends. Not me. I'm a great friend. I wanted to go solo and instead I decided to sing with them even though none of them will ever be at my level. They were the ones who ditched me after BTR fell apart. I had every right to go work with Hawke. They were the ones who didn't deserve to keep the band going without me. That wasn't even their dream. It was mine! There is no Big Time Rush without me!
James was quickly growing frustrated with having the same things run through his mind again and again. He was right, they were wrong. End of story.
James smiled sinisterly to himself. Soon enough he wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. Everything was going to be solved after he did what he was setting out to do.
Finally James reached his destination. His legs were cramping from walking so far, but that didn't matter. He was on a mission. James passed through the automatic doors and headed down the hallway to the office. "I want to work with you."
Hawke spun around in his chair. "What are you doing here, Jamez? I fired you!"
"Actually, I quit. But I regret that. I want- no, I need to work with you. I'm James Diamond. All the girls out there love me. You'll be ahead of Gustavo in no time. Isn't that what you want? To destroy Gustavo? What better way to do it than to steal his talent right from under his nose? The other guys are nothing without me. They'll fall, Gustavo will be screwed, and you'll be on top. I say it sounds pretty fair. Especially for you."
Hawke frowned, taking all that had been said into consideration. It all made perfect sense. An evil grin made it's way onto Hawke's face as he pictured his face on the cover of Rolling Stone. Gustavo would be ill!
But how could he trust this boy? He'd bailed on his once, he could do it again. Hawke's creepy smile vanished, replaced by a skeptic expression. "Nice try, Jamez, but who's to say you won't just walk out on me again after I've invested all my time and money into you?"
James nodded in understanding. "Okay then. How 'bout this? What if you could tear down Big Time Rush from the inside? What if you had a middle man, someone who knew all their secrets and weaknesses?" James leaned forward intensely, resting his hands on his former short-lived producer's desk and staring him straight in the eyes. "What do you say to that?"
Hawke seemed to be pondering this for a minute. Then he laughed evilly. James' dark grin grew wider. He knew what was coming. It was too perfect.
Hawke raised his arms in a bird-like gesture. "I say, you have a deal. Caw!"
Mission accomplished.
Oh no! What have I done? I've made James a monster, that's what!
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Thanks for reading! :)
