4
Nothing happens, nothing changes. The days and night passed by 'cause it has too, but I felt as though that everything stopped right there for me. Everything and all. Outside I was smiling, laughing as though I am enjoying but inside I was broken. Day by day, I felt weaker as if I had lost something, something more important. What was it? Oh! How could I forget? Him. It was him. Since that day I was like that. There's not a single day when I had not shed tears. Even if I want too or others want me too, I could not enjoy anything. I only act. At first it was hard but now, I am used to it. Used to act as though nothing has ever happened. But sadly the reality is still there. His presence is still there to remind me. His presence still lingers in every bit of my soul and memories. Oh god! Why did I even call him out there that day? It's my entire fault. It's my entire fault that he is like that now. People would say that you should move on and try to live my life to its content but how could I, huh? Just how could I? While he is there suffering alone, just how could I? I looked outside the windows from where a pale shimmering light was falling, which were fading second by second just like my true self. The sky was crying. The sky which was just a clear and blue suddenly started to pour down as if it knew my feelings, as if it understood me. I felt as though that it was crying instead of me knowing I couldn't take it no more looking at him like this. Ah! How could I even cry now? No matter how much I want to cry now, the tears won't simply fall. Why? Because, maybe I may had cried too much or so I think. Or inside my head I think it's enough now. Enough of shredding tears and start to move on. But still, still... I want to wait for him. For a miracle to happen, even if there's just 0.000001% to happen out of 100%, I want to wait. Wait for that tiny freckles of miracle. If I knew this was going to happen then I would have... Wait, what could have I done? I'm so useless. Just what could I have done huh? I feel so weak. Never had I felt so naked. Maybe I should do as some friends of mine said. To go out on a date with some random guys to forget and replace him. Well! That maybe a good idea though. New people, new memories. He will be using me, and well same goes for me. People always do that. To use and be used. That's how it works nowadays. Maybe I will give it a try. But after that what? Be like the society wants and ignore my own needs regardless how I feel inside or fight till I could take it no more. Fight till I get broken totally from inside or be a puppet and act like everything's is okay and that I'm content and my life is complete without him. But the sad reality is it's not ever going to be complete without him. Parts of me, he still owns it or maybe completely. The more I think about it, the more complicate it gets. Sigh… I wish I could go back in time and change everything. I wish he had not met someone like me.
I just... I just want to run away from this mess. Somebody… Somebody please help me. Anybody…
Thank you guys for your kind review and support. Helps me lot to not to disappoint you guys. See ya on next chapter.
Annie815 Well i can't go ahead and spoil it right? You have to wait for it to see what happens. And thanks.
innocentsmilehehe In time bro, in time it will be revealed.
And sorry everyone, it seems that i won't be posting here any longer as i have violated some rules as this was one of my original work but i will be publishing through fiction press so if you wanna read next chapter of mine please go through fiction press and search for me with the same author name.
