Walang Kapalit
[Irreplaceable
By: Anonymous
Story Summary: Honda Tohru. A character who helped people out of selflessness and expected nothing in return. Despite the many good deeds she has committed, she still wasn't able to attain something she desires. Shall her desires be known[HisLove Previously named "I need you back; I need you here to guide me"
Author's Note: I hold an irresistible distaste for conniving fools like her. She was someone that had everything I wanted. [Standard Disclaimer Applies I've always imagined Kyoko to be a lively person and to have a "no-shit taking attitude"; I hope my visual of her will be okay
Chapter 4: Don't Leave me alone.
Light peeked out of the puffy white clouds, rays of light gracing the simple dojo-styled house centered in the middle of a collection of trees. Crickets continued with their unappreciated sense of music, constantly keeping the eerie silence alive with just a simple stroke of their legs. It was an okay sound, not exactly to be overly-pleased about, but it was something and something was always better than nothing.
In the middle of this serene atmosphere, a young woman remained at the bottom of an oak tree, propped gently against the hard bark. Almost on cue, a leaf suddenly detached itself from a thing branch, the leaf oh-so-slowly falling down on the tanned face of the sleeping woman. The tickling touch of the leaf aroused the woman awake, her eyes fluttering open.
Big brown muddy eyes stared out into the sky, the fluffy white clouds slowly wandering past as she eased herself out of her sleep. Her hands reached out to rub her eyes, wiping away the residue of what the Sandman had sprinkled on her eyes.
'That's funny, it looks exactly like Shigure-sans' house…but it looks a little withered away,' Tohru thought absent-mindedly, wiping a stray strand of her brown-coloured hair. She approached the dojo-styled house, feeling a bit apprehensive about the whole scenario. It was weird—Shigure's house never looked like this, it looked so dead for some odd reason.
"Wh-what's going on here?" Tohru whispered under her breath, her hand reaching out to touch her lower lip. She continued to stare at the barren house that used to be lively with Kyo's and Yuki's constant arguing and Shigure's funny, but weird jokes. Everything seemed out of place, something was amiss, yet Tohru couldn't… she couldn't put her finger on whatever it was.
A giggle.
"Hm?" Tohru's head snapped up at the sound of the laughter.
Another giggle. Tohru's eyebrows furrowed, a bit curious on what was causing the sound of happiness. A flash of silver caught her eye and altogether, Tohru stopped. Everything went blank. Tohru Honda would recognize that speck of silver anywhere, even if she was old, withered away and on her deathbed, she would still recognize that speck anywhere.
"Yuki-kun" she whispered. The name itself, it felt so foreign to her, the taste of his name on her lips was so bittersweet, but…how can such a name that she always wanted to try out on her lips suddenly felt so…undeniably bitter?
Tohru slammed her eyes shut, taking deep, relaxing breaths. This feeling of saying his name didn't feel right for her to say. It almost felt like she wasn't worthy enough to be permitted to say his name. She opened her eyes, afraid to see what else can make her feel so empty inside.
Tohru advanced towards Yuki, hoping she could get a word from him, or even acknowledged. Maybe he would explain to her why the Sohma household in that dojo-styled house seemed unkempt and abandoned. She approached him, her footsteps light and reflecting her hesitancy of approaching him. For some odd reason she felt as if he wasn't expecting her to be here. Maybe it was some type of woman's intuition or her negative thoughts fueling her mind, but it just made her not want to talk to him.
"Yuki-kun?" she whispered hoarsely. The brown-haired adult blinked, just a few minutes ago, her voice totally fine, but now…it seemed as if she hadn't used her voice in years!
The silver-haired male turned to face her; the smile that was once on his face was now quickly wiped away once he caught her gaze.
'He…looks so much older…' Tohru thought to herself, estimating his age to be at least in his early thirties. Even though, he still looked like the kind Sohma she fell in love with. She approached him, her eyes watering with salty tears.
"Honda-san?" he whispered slowly. He stared down at her, his violet orbs so piercing and observant. It almost as if he was trying to read her inside and out. The brunette nodded her head silently, the unshed tears in her eyes ready to ease themselves down her tanned face.
"Yuki-kun, why do you look so old?" she questioned, her voice barely over a whisper. Her gaze broke and her head dropped down to the ground, tears staining the ground wet. She couldn't face him while she was crying, could she?
The silver-haired prince approached her, stopping a good four inches away from her. Slowly, he raised his hand to wipe the anticipated tears. His hand trailed down to caress her face, his thumb wiping the oncoming tears. He raised her face, urging her to look at him.
"You…I'm sorry, but I can't believe you're Honda Tohru," he said silently, he dropped her face and stepped back, pain clouding his eyes. Tohru simply stared at him in shock, and took a step forward. Her hand that was resting on her chest tightened, the sudden statement of what he said to her shot a deep pain in her heart.
"Yuki-kun…?" She could only utter his name, in hope that he would listen to her.
'What is he talking about? I'm right here, aren't I? What's going on?' Tohru thought frantically, never breaking his gaze this time. She opened her mouth to ask him the questions on her mind, she needed answers and she needed them now. Most importantly, she needed Yuki right here alongside her, telling her she was okay and this was just a simply prank.
"Honda Tohru died nine years ago, the day I was supposed (Author's Note: REMEMBER THIS WORD!!) to wed Machi," Yuki said, already answering her questions.
"Wha—?"
"Yuki!" Yuki and Tohru both turned to the source of the voice. A young woman dressed in a simple dress, floral designs on the hem of the dress complimenting it nicely. The woman wore a straw hat, the shadows covering parts of her face, making it a bit hard for Tohru to figure out who this person was.
"Machi?" Yuki replied, turning his back on Tohru.
Machi?
Tohru's heart nearly stopped at the sound of her name. The woman who scorned her for reasons she did not know was here as well? What about the curse of the Sohmas'? Wouldn't Akito send Hatori to erase Machi's memories of Yuki-kun? But what would be logical of that? Yuki and Machi were going out for awhile and Akito hadn't said much to object to their relationship. But this was all-too fishy.
"Hurry Yuki, Kimi-chan and Kiley-kun want their daddy to buy them some ice cream, so please hurry up. What are you doing anyways?" Machi asked sweetly, fingering a stray straw strand that was poking the side of her head. She smiled at him sweetly and grabbed him gently by the arm. Standing on her tip-toes, Machi placed a firm and sweet kiss on his lips.
It wasn't a sloppy kiss or a forced kiss at all. In fact, Yuki seemed to enjoy Machi's sudden show of affection towards him. Painfully, Tohru stared on, her breaths coming even more ragged than the last. Her chest throbbed excruciatingly, it seemed as if a dagger was poised set on her heart, marked and stabbed in the most vulnerable spot.
Yuki broke their kiss, his head turning to face the crestfallen Tohru. Machi, noticing his lack of attentiveness, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the direction of a patch of trees.
"Yuki, the kids are waiting, they were calling you earlier, but they said you seemed a bit distracted and it was like you were in a trance, a dream-like state," Machi said, urging Yuki towards the patch of trees. Yuki look at her strangely but complied. He silently headed towards the patch of trees, not once turning around to face Tohru.
"Honda Tohru, honestly I would have never guessed I would see your face around here. In fact, I never thought I would ever see you at all."
Tohru jumped. She didn't notice that Machi was still here. Machi cocked her head to the side, a bored expression playing across her face. She wore a simple white dress accompanied by a pair of flat-heeled shoes. The outfit didn't really suit her, it made her seem totally innocent and nice, and that something she was not. Even so, she was terribly intimidating even at this light.
"Machi-san?" Tohru whispered, her hand still clutching the fabric of her shirt.
"That would be Sohma-sama to you. Yes, I've married Yuki Sohma," Machi added seeing the confused look on Tohru's face.
"Wh-what?" Tohru's gaze fell and she stared at the dirtied pavement, finding it hard to look at Machi straight in the eye.
"The first day we were supposed to be married…well, let's say we had a few difficulties before we actually got married." Machi smiled coldly at Tohru, a terrifying glint sparked in her eyes as she spoke.
"Though, you're death has put a few things in perspective for Yuki, he, in fact has chosen me to be his wife," Machi said smugly, a smirk on her face.
Tohru's head shot up, the last few words adding salt to her wounds. Tohru trembled, Yuki chose Machi? That…it didn't feel right. No, it was right, wasn't it? They were together in the last few years of high school and were together in their twenties. But what did that all have to do with anything?
'I was with Yuki-kun first, I knew him first, I loved him first…I was …' Tohru trailed of in thought, her mind in its' own jumbled mess. She was such in a state that she didn't even know what she was thinking. She fell to the ground, her hands wrapped tightly and securely around herself. Her body shook violently, the thoughts racing throughout her head.
"Toh-ru-chan, I was always first," Machi said finally. She smiled and turned her back on the crestfallen Tohru.
Tohru remained on the dirtied pavement, her body shaking violently. It wasn't true was it?
"Yu…Yuki-kun?" Tohru murmured silently. Her voice was barely over a whisper.
"P—please don't…don't go. C—Can't you under…understand? I—I love you…" she said to herself, her eyes still wide and unblinking. Her eyes welled-over with unshed tears. Her eyes watered up even more, the stinging sensation began to pierce her eyes. That broke the barrier that held the tears; they flowed freely down the sides of her face, staining her tanned face.
"No…no…"
At that moment Tohru collapsed on the dirtied concrete.
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Completely shrouded in darkness, the brown-haired woman lied sprawled on the floor, her hair flown askew. A shining bright light hovered over the woman; lightly touching Tohru's sleeping face.
'It's…it's so warm,' Tohru thought to herself.
'Open your eyes.'
'I want to open my eyes. Who are you?'
'Open your eyes hon', I hafta' talk to you'
Tohru's eyes busted open, her chocolate-coloured orbs. The omniscient glowing orb hovering over her face, it felt so warm…and so comforting. It didn't hold a physical appearance; it simply was a circular orb that was glowing, nothing more nothing less.
"Yo, that was a really weird dream you have." The glowing orb said.
'This voice…it sounds familiar.' Tohru thought to herself.
'So, you like that kid, right?'
"…I—I do. But he doesn't feel the same way! He has Machi-san and…and …"
"Ch. What's your point? It doesn't mean that since he's with her that he loves her. Love goes two ways…and right now, that boy's confused about his feelings"
"I…I won't be able to…I'm nothing special" Tohru said, her eyes cast downwards. Yes, she felt nothing compared to Machi. It was as if Machi was a china doll, poised and graceful whereas she was a ragged doll, dirtied and worn-out.
'Abandoned' Tohru thought bitterly.
The ball spoke nothing, acting as if it was choosing their words before actually speaking.
"You are thinking so less of yourself; you are worth so much more than what you say right now. You are kind, beautiful in every way. You're nothing fake and you're the real thing. You can love Yuki for who he is and what he is and what can Machi do if she knows nothing?' The ball's words and speech changed drastically, its once-rugged sounding voice now calm and full of wisdom.
"Tell him how you feel, you might be surprised of the circumstance,' the ball said levitating out of reach.
"Th—thank you, for your help and nice words. But…who are you?"
"Someone watching over you. Before I leave, your mother…"
Tohru paused, anxious to hear what message her deceased mother had left her.
"She said "hey Tohru! Keep your head up and always be yourself. Don't look down on yourself, 'kay kidd?'
Tohru smiled. That was so typical of her mother to say.
"Thank you; please…please send my love and my thanks to her. And…thanks to you, I won't be as sad anymore."
With this said, the glowing sphere evaporated into thin air, leaving a tranquil silence that left Tohru into a deep dreamless slumber.
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Tohru shifted in her bed, her covers falling past her bust point. A small chuckle emitted above her. A woman, about in her late twenties or early thirties hovered over her. She stared intently at Tohru, strands of her orange-coloured hair falling on her face.
"Damn Tohru, you need to go for him. Don't act like your damn father at this point. You need ta' be happy," Kyoko said, stroking her daughter's hair fondly.
"Damn, I wonder how can kids be so damn dense?! How the hell do they cope with not knowing what they want to know?" Kyoko sighed.
Kyoko leaned over Tohru's sleeping form, kissing her right above the temple.
"Go get 'im kid." She said before disappearing into the night.
Author's Note: Okay, I think this is the last re-vamping. Next, if I get just another review. I'll start on the next and supposedly upcoming chapter. School's started and all these clubs I'm participating in are basically woah. Anyways. Enjoy this chapter and I hope it's much better than the last one. All of the previous chapters are gone and deleted, the originals are gone. So, I can't bring it back. My friend has also deleted it from her computer. Anyways, bai bai.
