Well, I'm back! :P Not as many reviews as last time but still a whole lot of them! I'm super grateful!
Now, I suppose you're wondering my age… (I doubt it but here it is anyway). I was 13, and now 14! I guess I gave it away on my bio, which I didn't realize when I asked for age assumptions. Sorry for that, lol, and another apology from acting either too mature or immature at random times. I'm just moody, lol.
Now for these lovely reviews again! I enjoy reading them so much!
Shademoon the Forgotten Soul- Me too with writing stories and poetry. Just got to be in the mood! Also I love your penname!
"WildChild13"-You're welcome! I enjoy using OCs to be honest! And yeah, I don't like to make Jade a snob really because even though that's more drama, it's also unrealistic and unoriginal. Just like Amberpaw things will go to her head, but nobody is born a " female dog"! And thank you!
The Striking Storms- First love the new user! Second, you're welcome, Stormshade will appear more in the later chapters too, as a mentor. Third, thanks for reading and reviewing so nicely :D
Rosestream- I agree, I feel bad for little Jade when I reread! But things will get better for her soon :) And you'll see now! And thanks for two reviews also, lol! Thanks for being awesome ^^
Gustpetal- You're right, I was 13. I guess I did give it away though. And I get what you mean with the characters being neglected being overused. I was a little iffy about it too, I don't usually like being unoriginal, but in a way I had to use that to show how Jade isn't your typical snob and actually has a sad backstory and good personality. At first. Or maybe always. You'll see!
Nightbird1648- Thank you so much!
Claudaujay- Thank you! I know the story plot isn't the most unique, but like you noticed; I'm trying to make it different from others. I haven't seen the film you've mentioned. Is it good? Anyway, I did give my age away, and I just realized it after reading a couple of reviews. I also love your stories and writing too, you're an amazing author and person!
Bright Stream- Yay, Thanks! And you're right :)
Foxtail of Stormclan- Thanks So Much For The Lengthy Review! And to address your point of the kin mentoring kin, I know that it's not usually done, but I wanted to express Duststar's favoritism towards Amberpaw. Plus, it is mentioned in the first book that the leader only mentors the deputies kits. I thought this was a good opportunity! Otherwise I'll refrain from kin mentoring kin. And your very correct! I just asked my age for the fun of it, but as some say, age shouldn't affect writing, practice should! I know someone my age who writes like an adult, and someone who writes like they're 11. I don't believe people are born with talent, though. I just read a novel every week and write poetry quite often. Thanks again for being so thoughtful though! I love getting the advice reviews more than others in all honesty ^^
And now onto the story!
~()~
"For tonight's gathering, as usual, ThunderClan will be attending." The gruff voice of Duststar was being echoed across the camp, while anxious cats sat below his rock, hoping to be chosen to go. "Of course, I will be going, as well as my mate, Rosemoon, who has returned to her deputy position after kitting. The medicine cats will be going as well, as always, but I would also like to bring Brightrose, Duskfeather, Stormshade, Brackenflight, Sandnose, Cloudspot, Brownpelt, Skysong, Nightpaw, Robinpaw, Lightpaw, and my daughter; Amberpaw."
Amberpaw grinned proudly as she was announced as the leader's daughter. Though everyone in the clan already knew that they were kin with how much it was said, it felt nice to have the other apprentices reassured that she was of highest position compared to them. She had no worries, though. It's only been a quarter moon since she was apprenticed, and she could hunt nearly as well as some of the older apprentices. She assumed some skill was from the early practice, but under quite a few circumstances, she probably just had tons of natural talent. As a kit, she never got to hunt prey, yet the first one she tried to hunt she caught! Not only did she have amazing natural talents, but there were plenty of young warriors and apprentices who respected her, even being that she was the third youngest in the entire clan. Soon she wouldn't be, though, as two she-cats; Tigerlily and Aspenfall, had moved to the nursery expecting kits very soon.
The ThunderClan leader waved his tail to silence his clan. "Cats who are to go to the gathering, come behind me," he called out, and Amberpaw leapt up beside her father before the other cats moved, giving a small purr. Her father returned it softly, and spoke again; "Any cats not going to the gathering remain here. Keep a sharp eye and ear out for any foreign cats, though. I am not pleased to be having rogue scents crossing our border."
A few cats standing within the camp nodded, and Duststar turned tail to leave with satisfaction. Amberpaw watched with delight as she noticed a few envious faces behind her, and she raised her pretty head with pleasure as she turned back around to begin walking. She would definitely be making a good impression with the other clans very soon. Every dawn held new opportunities, and Amberpaw's life just grew better by the day.
…
When Thunderclan arrived on the island, Amberpaw noticed with distraught that they were the only cats there at the time. "Father," She muttered up to Duststar, who looked at her quizzically. "Shouldn't the other clans be here by now?"
Duststar chucked quietly. "We're rather early, believe it or not. The gathering won't begin until around moonhigh, dear Amberpaw."
The young tortoiseshell nodded in realization, and she saw that the sky, though dark, was still the creamy color of dusk. She then watched her father bound up onto a large tree and settle onto a large branch, his tail curling carefully about his paws. The pretty apprentice settled herself down onto the large island below the tree. Her mother sat on the roots below Duststar.
Amberpaw sat by herself for a moment, lapping at her paw elegantly. As she predicted, it wasn't long at all before she was accompanied by the clan's apprentices. They greeted her warmly and sat down, though to Amberpaw this was normal. What apprentice wouldn't want to be near her? Amberpaw quickly started a conversation about how excited she was to soon finally begin battle training, in which was joined instantly by the rest of the group. It wasn't long, though, before she heard a loud call of numerous cats, and she turned to find a huge group of skinny, lean figures padding up onto the island. Amberpaw shifted anxiously, very excited to be meeting so many new cats. "Who's that?" Amberpaw whispered to her group, and a few apprentices; Lionpaw, Goldenpaw, and Lilypaw, answered in unison: "Windclan."
"Their leader is Hawkstar," Lionpaw added proudly, tilting his head gently towards a dark brown tabby tom. "He's pretty vicious, so I've heard. He's killed many cats before!"
"Whoa, really?" Amberpaw said in awe, interested more in Lionpaw's speaking than his actual information. Lionpaw didn't seem to notice the staged fascination, and nodded enthusiastically. "I haven't seen it before, but at the last gathering the other leaders confronted him! It was cool!"
"I'll bet," Amberpaw mewed distantly, now watching the other clan sit down. She watched as mostly old Windclan warriors gathered together with some of Thunderclan's. To her surprise, they began to talk with one another.
"I thought Thunderclan and Windclan were enemies," Amberpaw mewed, followed by the nods of the other younger apprentices.
Snowpaw opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly interrupted by her handsome brother, Lionpaw. "Actually, since the gathering is a night of peace, we're allowed to talk to other clans." He meowed. "I'll show you! There are a few Windclan apprentices that I know, too!"
Amberpaw blinked at Lionpaw nervously, but let the anxiety wash away in heartbeats. Maybe not all the stories of the other clans were necessarily true, I mean, I've already figured that before. Besides, if Lionpaw trusts them, maybe I should too.
"Okay," Amberpaw nodded after her quick thoughts, a grin on her face. She observed as a small group of Windclan apprentices glanced towards Lionpaw and his siblings, their eyes flashing with recognition. Amberpaw caught an older she-cat's eye, seeming about the age of Lionpaw and his littermates, and gave her a welcoming glance as the group padded over, examining the newer apprentices.
"Hey, Lionpaw!" A large, dark brown apprentice called, trotting up to the Thunderclan group. Amberpaw noticed that Lionpaw was purring loudly in return. "Hawkpaw, good to see you!"
The other WindClan apprentices, a tom and two she-cats, eventually caught up with the bigger apprentice, Hawkpaw. As they settled down, Amberpaw heard a deep, feminine voice meow friendly; "Hello, Snowpaw, Goldenpaw." It was the same she-cat that Amberpaw had made eye contact with just moments before. "It's great to see all of you again!"
Snowpaw nodded enthusiastically, her blue eyes gleaming. "You too, Berrypaw!"
Amberpaw gazed at the elder she-cat and opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly interrupted.
"So I'm guessing you're one of the new apprentices." Berrypaw meowed. "Amberpaw, right?"
Amberpaw nodded, dumbfounded for a heartbeat, and then meowed smoothly. "Yes, that's me. How did you know who I was?"
Berrypaw smiled, turning to the other apprentices, and looked back down slightly away from Amberpaw. "I've heard a lot about you. It's great meeting you."
"You too!" Amberpaw mewed, blinking her glowing amber eyes delightedly. Well, it seems like I already have a good impression on these other clans. This can be good for me!
"Look, RiverClan and ShadowClan are here!" Goldenpaw called out, causing Amberpaw and the others to turn around, startled.
If WindClan has heard all this good about me, Amberpaw thought carefully. Then the others must have too! This is going to be great!
…
The gathering had ended up being a breeze for Amberpaw. Immediately after the other clans arrived and settled down, Amberpaw was instantly surrounded by new "friends". Now, she knew, not only her clan knew how great she was, but all of the others did too! The Clan leaders announced certain things soon after, starting with her father, Duststar. He named the new apprentices and queens, as well as the good fortune of prey during the season of Leaf-bare. Amberpaw heard that they were lucky not to have any snowfall yet, but she hadn't exactly seen snow before. According to the clan leaders, though, it would only be a matter of time before she was going to.
Now Thunderclan was on a walk back home, to camp. Amberpaw walked exhaustedly behind her father after the long night, her paws nearly dragging across the grassy undergrowth. Though happy to finally attend a gathering, Amberpaw was a little excited to get back to her nest and sleep for a while. Duststar told her she could have the rest of the next day to simply empty the elders' bedding (which he had to make her do to avoid sings of favoritism) and to just relax otherwise. It would be a peaceful day for her. The next day, though, she would finally get to start battle training with Robinpaw, Nightpaw, and Lightpaw! She was very enthusiastic, especially knowing as much as she knew already. The training would be a breeze for her; she could already predict it.
As she was walking slowly, Amberpaw noticed her paws starting to tread on flattened grass, and bounced a little when she realized it meant camp was almost there. Stifling a yawn, she began to run ahead of her Clanmates, who had somehow made their way in front of her. When she arrived into camp, she quickly grabbed a mouse from the prey pile, noticing no disapproving glares, and went to the apprentices den.
Amberpaw delved into the mouse, taking hungry mouthfuls as soon as she plopped down onto her belly. She glanced upward to see the other apprentices walk in as a cluster, filing into the den and into each nest. "It's getting crowded in here" Snowpaw muttered, looking toward her brother who had dropped a large vole near his nest. Lionpaw licked his lips hungrily and meowed back steadily; "Well, it won't be long before we're warriors! Our assessment is tomorrow at sunhigh, remember?"
Amberpaw could easily tell he was showing off, but she didn't give it any mind. Simply, she smiled at him with a sparkling gaze. "Wow, that's great!" She chirped. "You'll pass for sure!"
Aware of Lightpaw's jealous stare, Amberpaw suppressed a chuckle as Lionpaw meowed in return; "Thanks! I'm pretty sure you'll do super well too when you start battle training afterwards!"
Amberpaw dipped her head and yawned, lowering her head down. "I know," she said quietly to herself, and then raised her voice cheerily. "Well, goodnight everyone! I'm exhausted from that gathering."
Nightpaw yawned soon after. "Me as well, I'm going to head to sleep too."
The other apprentices settled down as well, some sleeping, some still chatting under their breath. Amberpaw closed her eyes anyway and tuned out on the apprentices' gossip. Soon, she knew, she would get to show how great of an apprentice she could be. It would only be a matter of time for her to be even more popular than ever before.
~()~
Jade awoke to a startling sensation of claws tearing through her side. What's going on?! Eyes flying open, she leapt onto her paws with a hiss, surprised to find not an intruder, but her mother standing in front of her, fury blazing in her eyes. "Mother?" Jade mewed, her claws unsheathing hesitantly. "What's going on? What are you doing?!"
The tabby she-cat curled her lip back in a ferocious snarl, her tail lashing furiously. "You… killed him!" She caterwauled, choking over sobs. "You did this to him! YOU ruined my poor Nettle!"
The golden tabby lashed out again at Jade, claws fully outstretched. Jade leapt back, her eyes wide. "Stop this!" She screeched. "I did nothing, nothing to hurt my brother!"
"His moss…." Jade's mother was struggling to speak, her words tumbling out over each other. "His moss was poisoned… his moss you gave him!"
"I didn't! Moss can't be poisoned!" Jade argued, her ears pinning to the back of her head. Her mother shrieked and swiped at the small white she-cat, who crouched trembling at the back wall of the den.
"I've raised a murderer." Jade's mother hissed, voice thick with rage. "A monster! That's what you are!"
Jade yelped in agony as the angry she-cat sliced at her chest. Looking up helplessly, Jade watched as her mother's eyes went from ablaze with anger to suddenly a sad, watery look. "I-I" Her mother suddenly turned tail and ran, leaving poor Jade laying on the ground, bleeding feebly onto the Earth. With gasping cries of pain, her head began to feel heavy and fell down as her vision became black around her, the pain of deep wounds seeming too much to bear.
~()~
Wow, I'm so sorry about how long that chapter took! It's been a month! Well, I have excuses. First; SCHOOL. I'm in Middle School and taking 2 high school classes. I get homework as such, and it takes me around 4 hours each night. I hear it only gets worse in high school. Second; I lost inspiration. For whatever reason, I wanted to play internet games more than write, so I just left this unfinished for ages! I'm so sorry about that.
Question: Do you all want to see longer or shorter chapters, or is what it's at now fine? I can have 5000+ a chapter as long, 2000-4000 words in the middle, or 500-2000 words as a short chapter. Please review what you all think!
Have an amazing day and I hope the next chapter won't take a decade to write!
~Star
