Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed
Deicated to goddessofthenight31 thanks for the tips
(P3. The bachelor auction is taking place. Elise is up on stage behind a podium.)
Elise: Ladies, prepare your check books because here comes Evan.
(A handsome man stands up and walks onto stage. Everyone cheers and whistles.)
Lady From Crowd: He's mine.
Elise: Oh, my, my, my. Somebody turn the heat down in here.
Evan: I don't have to take off my clothes or anything, do I?
(The ladies cheer.)
Elise: That's entirely up to you. Okay, ladies. Evan is an internist from Sausalito. And he promises the highest bidder a free physical on their first date. So who'll start the bidding?
Lady From Crowd: Four hundred!
Elise: Excellent! Do I hear five hundred?
Phoebe's Voice: One thousand dollars!
(Every turns to look at Phoebe walking down the stairs.)
Elise: Phoebe.
(The guys stare in awe as she walks through the crowd toward the stage.)
Evan: Uh, can I bid on her?
(Phoebe chuckles.)
Phoebe: If you insist.
Elise: That isn't... This isn't... I don't really...
Evan: I've got a ten thousand limit on my credit card.
Elise: Well, okay then.
Man From Crowd: Eleven thousand!
Man #2: Twelve thousand!
Man #3: Thirteen thousand!
Man #4: Fourteen thousand!
Man #3: Fourteen five!
Man #2: Fifteen thousand!
(Phoebe makes her way onto the stage.)
Man #3: Sixteen thousand!
Phoebe: Easy, boys, there's plenty to go around.
(Woods. Paige and three other demons are there. Paige is pointing her trident at them.)
Paige: Come on, now, hit me with your best shot. (A demon throws an energy ball at Paige and she catches it. She distinguishes it.) Give me one firm spot on wish to stand and I will move the earth. (She points her trident at the demon and zaps him, vanquishing him.) Archimedes said that. Great warrior. And he didn't even have a trident. Okay, on your knees. Kiss the hand of the Paige.
Demons: Yes, my liege.
(They kneel in front of her.)
Paige: Mm, being a goddess does have its perks.
(Leaves fly around in one spot and Piper appears.)
Piper: Paige, what are you doing?
Paige: How'd you find me?
Piper: Apparently it's one of my powers to keep an eye on you. What is going on here?
Paige: Oh, I'm just building an army. I figured what better way to smite the Titans than with hordes of demons, right?
Piper: Wrong. All of you out.
Demon: We answer only to our liege.
(Paige smiles and nods.)
Piper: I see.
Paige: See, they're very loyal. And you know what? I don't know why I was wasting my time studying witchcraft when I clearly should have been earning my general stripes.
Piper: I said go! Now!
(The ground shakes. The demons disappear, frightened.)
Paige: What'd you have to do that for? I had followers.
Piper: You can't have followers. None of us can. Now come on before I unleash my wrath on you.
(They disappear.)
At the manor Chris, clutched the edge of the counter. No! He wasn't going to give in. God…He needed water! He rushed over to the sink. Damn he forgot that he broke it! He rushed out and to the stairs and to the bathroom. He stuck his head in the sink and turned it on. O it felt so good! Ok…maybe this "giving into the power" was harder than even he thought.
He turned the sink off and wiped his face as he looked into the mirror. His hair was still soaking wet and his cheeks looked flushed. As if he had been swimming for hours. He was in so much trouble. He wasn't supposed to be changed into a god! Of course Leo screwed up again. He always did! He wondered how he hadn't been exposed yet!
Where was his mom and aunts…correction…Piper, Phoebe, and Paige? Well for that answer he heard a low mumble. Walking out of bathroom and into the hallway he spotted the Elf Nanny and Wyatt. She stopped infront of him and gave him a look of disgust.
"Are you men EVERYWHERE? Honestly…there is a child in the midst." She hissed at him. He merely rolled his eyes and walked past her and down the stairs. he hoped he didn't grow up with her! Maybe that was why he was so neurotic. The sight that greeted him made him moan.
(Cut to the manor. Foyer. Piper and Paige appear.)
Piper: Not in the house. (Piper takes the trident off of Paige and puts it aside.) Now let's go find Phoebe.
(The Elf Nanny walks in pushing the baby pram.)
Elf Nanny: My word, this is a house of ill repute. Hardly suitable for an infant.
(She walks off.)
Piper: Wh- What do you mean?
(They hear voices coming from the living room.)
Man's Voice: How does that feel, Phoebe?
(Piper and Paige walk into the living room. Phoebe is lying on a red sofa, surrounded by half-naked men. Some are fanning her with a large feather, another is massaging her feet, and another is feeding her grapes.)
Phoebe: Oh, make sure you peel those for me, will you?
Piper: Phoebe? We need to talk.
Phoebe: Yes, we do. The world would be over flowing with peace and love if only we just talked more.
Piper: Mm-hm. What are they doing here?
Phoebe: Oh, worshipping me, adoring me, exalting my name. There is so much love in this room I can barely stand it.
Piper: Me neither. It's time to send your groupies away, now.
Phoebe: But serving me makes them so happy. (One of the men hands Phoebe a chalice.) Thank you, bachelor number three.
Piper: Alright, all of you, show is over. Move along.
Evan: We live to serve Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh, you do, don't you? That's so sweet. Piper, you need to get some followers of your own. It's a really great confidence builder.
Paige: Are you eyeing me, soldier?
Chris walks in. This was becoming a pain. How was he supposed to keep his aunts and himself for that manner, to stay focused? He need more water…again! He was getting seriously frustrated.
He couldn't contain it anymore. The men fawning over his aunts were suddenly pissing him off.
"GET OUT!" He boomed. The men stared at him and didn't move. That was a bad move. He raised an arm and twisted it to the side. Out of nowhere water poured all over the half naked men! "I SAID OUT!" The men ran out of the house soaking wet, scared out of their minds.
"Chris! Come on. Peaceful ways are the best." Phoebe sighed as she pouted on the seat.
"Why are all my soldiers running away?!" Paige moaned.
"Looks like you got the temper of Poseidon too Chris!" Piper growled at him.
"No I got that from my mom!" He mumbled turning around and making his way to the kitchen again. The sisters followed him.
"What are you doing?!" Piper asked him as he opened the cupboard.
"I'm getting some water!" He said back. He walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out the cold pitcher they always had. Looking at the cup he pushed it back into the cupboard and just gulped down the entire jug. Leaving the sister staring at him.He looked like Phoebe when she began a mermaid.
A/N:WOW THAT TOOK FOREVER TO TYPE!!!HOPE YOU LIKE IT! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK…DON'T WORRY MAJOR TWISTS COMING UP HERE IN THE NEXT FEW CHATPERS BUT FOR SOME REASON I HAVE TO SUDDENLY PEE.
