Bandmates came by, one by one, but Mitsuki never left the room. He didn't feel like doing so, despite his legs going numb from sitting so long in a chair. It was always… calm. Eerily so, in fact. Nobody had much to say on the situation, it seemed: perhaps, in fact, nobody could truly find a culprit between the two of them, well, if they had tried doing so. It was pretty unclear to him.
The cause of their silence was shrouded in mystery for him. They had no reason to feel guilty, because it was all his fault, so they didn't need conceal their feelings behind a terrible wall of silence. And it was unusual for any of them to be so quiet. Even Riku wasn't smiling brightly, despite the circumstances calling for at least one person trying to cheer everyone up. In fact, even Nagi didn't seem as joyful as he usually was. The anger on his face and in his voice was a mystery to the other Pythagoras member, because… of everyone, Mitsuki probably expected him to try and cheer everyone up.
Their manager was the last one to enter the room. It was as if she wanted to disappear from Earth when she came in, eyes down, hair untidy. Their manager, who was usually always on-point and optimistic about them, was looking down and desperate. But, maybe inside of him, he knew why she refused to look up.
She refused to see Iori in his current state.
Who could blame her? The latter was, undeniably so, badly injured. If his face lacked a major injury, as long as one would ignore its unnatural paleness, he had most of his bandaged chest exposed. And if that wasn't enough to make anyone uncomfortable upon seeing it, the IV right next to him was filled with blood rather than ordinary fluid. Everything in this part of the room would pain anyone to see.
"H-hello… again…" she stuttered, still looking down.
"Manager, do you need to sit down?" Mitsuki asked, getting up from the chair, worried by the sight of her legs shaking under their own weight.
"N-no… I'll be fine…"
"Manager…" Iori metaphorically stepped in. "You can't stay up…"
Had it been any another day, he would had said that with much more confidence and strength, almost like an order, rather than a pensive statement.
Eventually, she caved in and sat down, the older idol standing next to her.
"I… I'm sorry for this!" she started apologizing again.
Mitsuki retained his frustration in, but Iori still grunted. They both had a similar feeling in mind, and it was obvious to the former. Maybe they weren't so different.
"I should had foreseen someone was going to hunt down people, even today! I-I've been told he was a recidivist criminal, I should had told you both about risky zones! I'm so-"
"Stop it, Manager."
Iori clearly attempted at giving her some kind of stink eye, but it didn't work in the slightest when he was so weakened. Instead, he seemed merely bothered by it.
"Your apologies… aren't worth anything right now…"
The young woman's face twisted into sorrow as soon as he said those words, and while, yes, he had a sharp tongue, would his own sibling had expected him to bite back so hard.
"I… I…"
"Iori! You know Manager means well! Be a bit more respectful!"
And he got the stink eye too. The least scary stink eye he had ever gotten, may he add. Yet, Mitsuki sighs, because his brother is partially right.
"Manager, Iori's not wrong… You have nothing to do with it. It's entirely the fault of this psycho! What he meant was that you don't need to apologize. The deed is done anyway…"
He then looks aside, in order not to face them both.
"If it's anyone's fault aside from that guy, it's mine. It was my idea after all, and I was meant to protect my little brother, not the opposite way around. Well, maybe I should have told Iori not to put myself before himself too."
"Mitsuki-san, it's not your fault either! You couldn't have previewed someone would try to kill you both!"
"See…?" Iori added, trying to get the manager's eyes to look into his. "This can't be your fault either for the same reason, so… Stop apologizing… It doesn't serve any use… But, could you please look at me, Manager…?"
She, very slowly, raised her eyes to his level, before gasping. He sighed, probably exasperated by seeing everyone so panicked and pained upon seeing him.
"I'm sure this isn't pleasing to see… But you're all trying to run away from it, including yourself, Manager…" His head got deeper into his pillow. "This isn't anyone's fault here, and I'm tired of hearing everyone apologizing to me… It's like I'm made of glass… I'm not a fragile bunny…"
To be honest, looking at Iori was very painful. Even after staying a couple hours with him in his room, Mitsuki himself still wasn't used to the IV, the weak yet loud breathing, the heart monitor, or just the bandages around what he knew were bullet wounds. Especially the later. He just couldn't stop imagining in a corner of his mind what they actually looked like.
But he was pointing out something true. They had all looked at him like he was a broken statue of glass, and everyone was blaming themselves for the grazes it had taken. The issue was, when it wasn't the fault of anyone (and maybe not his brother's, after all), he was still in a heavily fragile condition because of what had happened to him. Mitsuki hadn't had the heart to tell him his blood loss was more important than he thought, because he thought his sibling would figure it out by himself. It didn't look like it was the case, though.
It wasn't that people were underestimating or putting Iori as a fragile wallflower. It was that he currently was as vulnerable as a porcelain figurine, and was either denying it with fervour, or that he truly didn't realize how important his injuries really were.
"You're right, Iori-san! I'm sorry for running away like that! We don't think you're weak, it's the opposite in fact! You're very strong and brave to have protected Mitsuki-san like that!"
Iori looked at his brother.
"It's not as exceptional… as you all make it out to be…" He sighed. "If you didn't, maybe that big brother wouldn't feel so bad…"
Was that shade thrown at him or legitimate concern? Probably the latter, but it could still be part of the first.
"C'mon, Iori! You took two bullets for me, and yet you still brush it off as nothing?"
Tsumugi jumped on her chair, then quickly turned to him, then back at the younger one.
"That's true, I forgot you got shot twice, Iori-san! That's even more impressive."
"This is no impressive feat… You're all overselling it…"
"Iori, you still got shot! That's big of a deal enough! You're the one downplaying it! Do you know how bad it is?"
"I'm sure of this, big brother…"
"You're aware you lost, like, a lot of blood?"
In a surprise for the older boy, his sibling simply looked at himself and put a hand on his left leg.
"I know that… Maybe more than you do, big brother…"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm surprised you haven't noticed the third bullet…"
Mitsuki's eyes grew wide in an instant.
"What do you mean, a 'third bullet'?! Don't tell me you…"
He gulped, before the realization fully sank in.
"You got shot… three times….?"
He was at loss of words again. Right when he thought he couldn't had been more careless, something new was added to the table. That made sense with the amount of blood on the ground, but still… It didn't change that fact!
The manager simply gasped again and put her hands to her mouth, immensely shocked to the point of losing her face's colours.
"You hid that from me, right…?"
Iori sighed, looking away, yet a slight smile appeared on his lips.
"I denied having it so the shooter would keep trying to shoot my legs instead of any vital part… It's not as important as the two others…"
He looked up, with a saddened face this time around.
"Honestly… I wonder why nobody has blamed me yet for that…"
A quick glance at Mitsuki prevent the latter from speaking up against that statement.
"Big brother, you blamed yourself… for what I should be blamed for… Making you worry wasn't part of my plan… Neither was bringing everyone here with me…"
"What do you mean?!" the older idol responded with anger born of worry. "Iori, you saved my life because I couldn't protect you properly! I have to repeat that yet again?! Cause I'll do!"
The manager quickly excused herself and left in a hurry, sprinting to the door after the quickest bow of all of Japan's history.
Mitsuki crossed his arms, gritting his teeth. It was hard to contain all of his feelings, yet he couldn't unleash them at the moment. He'd just have to keep all that bottled up somewhere. Great. Just, great.
"And this isn't a question of being better than me at everything and anything! It's a question of life and death! What if you had been more gravely injured?! Those bullets could have pierced your lungs or your heart! I can't let that go buy, but on the other hand, do you really expect us to blame you for this?!"
"You're right… I worried everyone when it wasn't necessary… It'll be bad for the group in general too… Since we'll be one down for a while… Unless…"
"Don't you even dare!"
"Big brother, we don't have much time… I can't stay out of commission for too long… Everyone's just overestimating my wounds…"
His voice was losing most of its conviction. It wasn't him not to be reasonable. Something was very, very wrong.
He just got a grunt back.
"I can't let you do that! You're only gonna make it worse if you overdo it! I know, we're idols, we're public most of the time and can't stay MIA for very long, but that's not a reason to endanger yourself again!"
Mitsuki's voice halted. Nasty visions of what could be flooded his mind, all filled with blood on stage and terrified friends.
"And, like, Iori, you worried everyone enough. You'll not take it easy even if you get told, I'm sure you'll sneak your way to the manager anyway. So, just, stay calm for a bit, okay? Don't put more pressure on us."
He was being a bit mean to his brother, but sometimes, it felt like he had to drill stuff through Iori's skull for him to actually listen and stop being stubborn. He wasn't a bad kid, quite the contrary, but he was convinced he had a very important role to play all the time which nobody else could cover for him.
And, well, that was wrong, because everybody could cover up for him as his friends.
Iori didn't respond, much to his surprise. He was expecting his brother to bite back, tell him how everyone was important for the team, and how he could manage healing and I7 at the same time with no difficulty. Would had it been a sprained ankle, a twisted wrist, or a cold, Mitsuki would had believed him, yet kept an eye out just-in-case. But that wasn't the case. It was on another level altogether.
"You're right, big brother… I can't do much at the moment that requires moving around… but I can still help elsewhere… Please tell the manager I need to talk to her as soon as possible…"
Sighs.
"That… wasn't what I meant." That was going to be harder than he had thought. "I meant, you're more or less stuck here for a week or so. I doubt the manager'll allow you to do anything which could tire you out. I know you want to be useful and hate feeling left out and useless, but please, just let us manage everything while you recover, okay? We'll keep you aware of everything we decide and do."
Yeah, maybe it would had been better to tell him that after he had actually decided of so with the entire team. But if he didn't have trust in I7, who could he believe in?
Mitsuki knew, deep down, that it wasn't his words failing to reach his brother. It was the latter's uncertainties he was too weakened to bottle up anymore: despite his sharp tongue and seeming like he'd always say what he had on his mind no matter how improper and rude it was, he had his insecurities he kept hidden like everyone.
But that was as long as Iori had the strength to do so. To be fair, Mitsuki himself wasn't used to seeing these doubts reaching the surface anymore: it had been something close to a decade since Iori had let himself express such so freely. After all, he had only failed once in his life, so of course he never had to make amends for anything and express how much he wanted to be seen as "cool" and "mature" when he was, in fact, a seventeen-year old teenager who loved cute things and would maybe accept to watch a magical girl show with Nagi had he not accepted some side quests nobody else knew about.
In front of the lack of reply, Mitsuki felt like he had to fill in the blanks. Maybe because he was still terrified his brother would do something stupid or dangerous out of duty feelings and guilt.
"Iori. Nobody's asking you to retire or even take a long hiatus from idol business! We're just asking you to remain calm and on stand-by until you're back in shape, okay? Not hard! I'm sure you can understand that, right? You're a very clever boy, you don't need me to explain stuff to you! Sometimes, it's as if you were the big brother, in fact…"
His eyes darkened as he dropped his comforting smile.
"Yeah, you're the older brother of us two, aren't you, Iori…? It may be right that way, because that way, the big brother took the bullet for the little brother…"
That was his own anchor into the sea of insecurities. He… just wasn't sure if Iori was aware of all of this going through his mind. After all, Mitsuki was pretty bad at expressing his own uncertainties, because it was better to be happy and upbeat rather than sulking on how he felt like he was still an immature little boy compared to his younger sibling.
He wasn't pretending. He was legitimately happy most of the time, but nothing helped erasing the disturbing, gut-wrenching feeling of being the small member of a two-way brotherhood of which he was supposed to be the elder. So, whenever he looked at Iori, a part of him always itched to finally spit at him to be the little brother he was meant to be, instead of being so mature!
"Big brother… Why are you saying this…?" is all Iori asked, a clearly pained expression on his face.
And before he knew it, Mitsuki was in an embrace he didn't want at the moment. One which shouldn't had been possible, had all laws and anything he had told before mattered.
"Iori… W-why…?" he sobbed, unable to get a proper reply out.
"I know I shouldn't be up, but… How do you want me to do nothing… when you're so sad…?"
This was, perhaps, the cutest thing he had ever told him since they were children.
"Go back to bed, y-you idiot… You're not fixing a-anything by doing that…"
And yet, Mitsuki found shelter in his brother's chest. Hearing this familiar heartbeat felt like a reinsurance he didn't know he needed before that moment. His brother was alive. Not well, but alive, and well enough to be there for him even as he shouldn't had been the helper. That was his job. That was his duty. He wasn't filling it.
But he was also sad and had pretended all afternoon long to be a stable pillar when, in actuality, all he was, was a crying mess of a brother who was just worried sick for his younger sibling. He had gotten Iori's blood on his hands and clothes, and even as his face was right next to the bandages covering up wounds created to protect his life, he couldn't do anything much than worry. Because the future was always uncertain, and except for looking at Zero, fulfilling his dream of being an idol and wishing his brother could find his own dream for the latter's own good (it was good for nobody to depend on their sibling), Mitsuki didn't know anything of the future and what he wanted to do with it.
So all he did was to stay buried, even if he should had been responsible and give Iori his well-deserved and mandatory rest.
"That's exactly why you're the older brother of us two, y'know, Iori… It should be the other way around…"
"I don't see how that matters in anything… You're still my older brother…"
Iori sighed.
"I only want one thing… and that's for you to be happy, big brother… I don't care about being calmer or more mature than you…"
"Never change, Iori, please…"
Mitsuki found himself hugging back, before hearing a slight hiss of pain. He pulled back in a rush.
"Wait, I hurt you, no?!" he asked in a hurry.
His brother was softly wrapping his chest in his arms, but somehow, a small smile was to be found on his face.
"It's minor, really… I'm just glad you're better…"
The older idol found himself puffing at this, amused.
"You're aware that should be the other way around, right? I should be telling you that, not the opposite way around. May I add, it's bedtime for you, Iori. The others will probably leave this hospital soon too."
"I'll do, big brother."
Mitsuki still gave one last pat on the head to his now-laying brother.
"I'll come visit you tomorrow, and I'm sure the others too. Have a good night, and don't worry for any of us, okay? We'll think of you back at the dorm."
With shyer-than-usual goodbyes returned to him, he left the room, the corridor, joined the others, and they all left the hospital.
The future was uncertain, but he was a bit more hopeful than when he first arrived there.
