"How To Save A Life" – Part 4
Summary, Notes, and Rating listed in chapter 1.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Degrassi!
-oOo-
Eli Goldsworthy tapped his thumb on the desk as he waited for daily announcements to begin. He was bored and it was just another Wednesday morning. 'At least the week is nearly over,' he thought amused. A new issue of the Green Goblin went on sale Saturday. Perhaps he and Adam could camp out and get it. He smiled. Comics were far more exciting than waiting for—
"Finally," he said aloud to no one in particular. The screen turned on and they saw Principal Simpson.
After the television turned off Eli was in shock. Hospital. Attempted Suicide. Adam. He felt sick. He could feel the eyes of other students on him. He stood up abruptly.
"Mr. Goldsworthy," the teacher scolded him in warning tone.
He got up and walked through the aisle. He opened the door and exited without a backwards glance. Eli ran down the halls towards Mr. Simpson's office. Already there was a small group of students asking for more answers. He noticed more than few GLBTU members in the crowd.
"Mr. Simpson!" Eli called loudly. The principal turned and looked at him.
"Eli," he started. The boy stared at him with a desperate look in his eyes. When Simpson nodded the teenager faltered.
"I'm going," he said and turned away.
"Alright, I'll let your teachers know you'll be excused for the day," Principal Simpson called after him.
Eli ran down the hall to get a few things from his locker. He heard someone come up behind him.
"Is it true?" K.C. Guthrie asked. His eyes were wide.
Eli nodded, "Yeah." He slammed his locker shut.
"Eli!" a voice called from down the hall. It was Clare Edwards. "I'm coming with you."
He waited for her. "Okay." The two of them ran out the doors to his car, Morty. As Eli started the engine he heard a tap at the driver side window. It was K.C.
"What is it?" Eli asked sharply. K.C. shoved a hat in his hands.
"He gave it to me yesterday. I want him to have it back," K.C. explained. "I hope he's alright," he said quietly, and then walked away.
Clare and Eli examined the hat in Eli's hands. It was Adam's favorite beanie. It was then that they finally allowed themselves to cry.
-oOo-
Audra walked into waiting room. Her expression was guarded. Five faces looked back at her expectantly.
"He's awake," she told them. They let out sighs of relief. Drew and Fiona smiled at each other.
"Drew, he's asking for you."
Drew blinked. He looked at Fiona. "Just me?" he asked quietly.
His mother nodded. "Yes, he requested to speak with you alone."
Drew paused. "I won't be long," he said to Fiona. He got up and headed down the hall to Adam's room.
When he entered the room, at first he thought his mother was mistaken. Adam lay on the hospital bed with his eyes closed. He had a flashback to finding his brother in the tub and flinched. Suddenly Adam opened his eyes.
"Andrew," he said weakly.
Drew flashed one of his signature grins, but the smile did not reach his eyes. He was concerned. He brother looked pale and sickly. In short, he thought he looked like shit.
He sat beside his brother and grabbed his hand. "I'm here."
"No shit, Sherlock," Adam quipped. This time Drew genuinely smiled.
"I should expect you to joke in a time like this," Drew teased.
"Well, you know what they say. If you're not living you're dying," he said grimly. "Or is it the other way around?"
Drew's face grew serious. "You scared the shit out of me Adam. Don't you EVER do that again!" he yelled.
Adam looked at him with a hollow expression.
"I mean it, Adam! Don't you dare pull this stunt again," he screamed at him.
"It wasn't a stunt!" Adam forced out. Drew grew quiet.
"Why did you do it?" he asked in a small voice.
Adam looked away. His eyes were already filled with tears. "I had to," he told him.
Drew started to cry. The quiet desperation in his brother's tone finally sent him over the edge. Finding Adam nearly dead. Worrying about him for hours in the waiting room alongside Fiona, the girl who loved him more than anything. And now this. He was really scared. Terrified that Adam wouldn't quit.
"Drew, don't cry," he heard Adam say. When he looked up, his brother was sitting up in an attempt to reach him. Drew wiped his eyes and softly wrapped his arms around Adam's shoulders. After a long moment he returned to his chair.
He looked at Adam expectantly. "Why?"
Adam took a deep breath. "I'm not a girl, but I'm not accepted as guy. I can't live as Adam, and I refuse to live as Gracie, so I'd rather die as Adam," he finally got out. "If I try to be Gracie, I slowly die inside. Either way I'm dead. I chose go out as me."
Drew had tears in his eyes. "That's not true. You can live as Adam," he told him.
His brother flinched. "How?" he yelled hoarsely. "You tell me how, Drew? Guys don't get raped—"
"Sure they do! Haven't you heard of prison?" Drew interjected.
Adam seethed. "You know what I mean. Stop being facetious."
"I would, if I knew what that meant," Drew quipped, inserting humor into the conversation. Adam gave him a look, but he seemed to calm a bit.
"You know what I meant. Guys don't get pregnant," he said solemnly. Drew looked down. "And since they don't get pregnant, they definitely don't opt for early abortions."
To Adam, finding out about the pregnancy was the worst violation of who he was. All his life he struggled with a body that betrayed him, especially once puberty began.
He never felt as powerless as he did during the week he waited for pregnancy results. Due to hospital policy, he wasn't allowed to take any testosterone shots. Just like that he lost the one thing about himself that he could control. It caused his self loathing to increase to an all time high.
"Adam, we can't change the past but we can determine our future," Drew countered. Adam scoffed. "I'm serious, it's not hopeless. Owen is an asshole and I hoped he has a well rounded experience in prison," Drew said darkly. "Don't let him win."
Adam narrowed his eyes. "You think it's that simple?"
Drew paused. "No. I don't." He scratched his head. "But you can't stop living your life because of transphobic assholes. You have so much to live for, Adam. You bring so much light to the world and you have many people who love you."
"Who would be better off without me," Adam said quietly.
Drew shook his head. "You've got it backwards. We're better off because of you."
.
Author's Note #6: This chapter was brutal. I feel for everyone and I really hate Owen. The next installment will be up tomorrow morning.
Author's Note #7: Wanted to clarify, I don't think they would administer the morning after pill to someone in a coma. The medication can cause nausea and vomiting which is dangerous to experience while unconscious.
