In the living room, Punk watches TV.
"...and to conclude this Halloween newscast on a scary note...Remember, the Presidential primaries are only a few months away," News reporter Sarah Padilla said then chuckles.
Cody and Ted ring the bell. "Trick or treat, man." They aren't costumed, but threaten to egg the house if Punk doesn't pay up. Punk hands them candy, but they egg the house anyways.
Hannah and the kids return from trick-or-treating. Miz is a hooded executioner, Maryse is a witch, Haylie is a totem pole (in honour of the noble native Americans of the Pacific Northwest), and Hannah the Bride of Frankenstein (what else could she possibly be?). Hannah tells the kids they can have one piece of candy before bed, but before she finishes her sentence, everybody (including Punk and Maryse) has begun gorging themselves on candy.
"If you eat too much, you'll have nightmares," Hannah said.
With his mouth full of candy, Miz said in a sarcastic way, "Oh yeah, everybody in the family is going to have bad nightmares tonight, ha!"
With more sarcasm, Haylie said, "Oh yeah, three bad nightmares,"
With even more sarcasm, Punk said, "I'd like to see that! Heh heh heh!"
Haylie eats a candy bar in bed, then turns off the light, with her bedcovers are still strewn with candy wrappers.
The Monkey's Paw
The place: Marrakesh, Morocco.
"What a dump! Why would Princess Alicia live in a place like this?" Punk asked.
Annoyed, Haylie said, "Dad, that's Monaco,"
They watch a contortionist do this thing. "I can do that, but I don't want to," At a market, Punk inquires after a monkey's paw, which the vendor claims will grant wishes to its owner.
"Sir, I must strongly advice you: Do not purchase this. Behind every wish lurks grave misfortune, I, myself, was once president of Algeria," The vendor said.
"Come on, pal. I don't want to hear your life story. Paw me!" Punk said.
Hannah is not pleased by Punk's purchase.
"Ew, Punk, where did you get that ugly thing?" Hannah asked.
"Why, at that little shop right over...there?" Punk asked, pointing to where the shop was, but all that's left is a gust of wind. Punk gasps. "Oh, no, wait, it was over there," Punk said, pointing to where the shop really was.
"You'll be sorry!" The vendor warns.
Boarding the plane, Punk is caught by customs. He is fined $2. At home, the paw sits on the coffee table. Miz wants to wish for X-Ray specs that really work. Haylie would rather wish for peace on earth. While they're arguing, Maryse grabs the paw and makes her wish. A limo pulls up outside, and Punk is pleased. "Good baby!" He said. The driver brings Maryse a shiny new pacifier, then speeds off. "D'oh!" Punk said.
Miz decides he's waited long enough and wishes for the Brooks to be rich and famous. "Now, you're talking!" Punk said, agreeing with Miz. Immediately, they are showered with money. Punk takes the family to the fanciest resturant in town, the Gilded Truffle. The maitre d' shows them to their table...
"Punk, maybe fame and fortune aren't as bad as they say," Hannah said.
"If I hear one more thing about the Brooks, I swear, I'm going to scream," One woman said.
"At first they were cute and funny, but now they are just annoying," Another woman said.
The sentiment is echoed around town as the Brooks becomes heavily merchandised. In the living room...
"Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colourful," Punk said.
Haylie takes the paw and said, "I wish for world peace," The second finger on the paw closes.
"Haylie, that was very selfish of you!" Punk yelled.
At the United Nations...
"Eh, sorry about the Falkhands, old boy," The British ambassador said.
"Oh forget it. We kind of knew they were yours," The Argetine ambassador said.
Weapons are destroyed the world over, etc. In space, two aliens laugh diabolically for quite a long time. They land in Chicago...
"People of Earth! We come to you in the spirit of hostility and menace!" The two aliens said together.
The Mayor of Chicago tries to reason with them, but is merely bonked on the head with a club, while the other alien wields a slingshot.
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!" One of the aliens said.
"They're conking us with a club!" One man yelled.
"Wish we'd saved an A-bomb or two," Another man said.
The townsfolk blame it on the Brooks.
Back in the living room, Punk decides to wish for something completely harmless.
"I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, I don't want any zombie turkeys. I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird suprises. You got it?" Punk asked.
The monkey's paw closes its finger in understanding. A turkey sandwich materializes. Punk takes it. "Hey!" Punk said and digs in."Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. They turkey's a little dry," Punk said, than reality hit him. "The turkey's a little dry!" Punk cried out. .Oh, foe, the cursed teeth!" He added. "What demon from the depths of hell created thee!" He added.
Punk tosses the paw into the trash, where Cole inquirers after it. Punk decides to let Cole have it, in both senses of the phrase.
"Okily dokily!" Cole said.
Cole sees Cody being chased by an alien. So Cole wishes that the aliens would be gone. Cody chases the alien with a board with a nail in it. The aliens flee.
"It seems the earthlings won," Jack said.
"Did they? That board with a nail in it may have defeated us. But the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards with bigger nails, and soon, they will make a board with a nail so big, it will destroy them all!" Dolph said. Both of the aliens laugh evilly for quite some time.
The townfolk carries Cole on their shoulders. He goes into his house, which transforms into a majestic castle, dwarfing the Brooks' residence. "I wish I had a monkey's paw," Punk grumbled.
