I'm back, and I must say that I do read the comments and it is quite astonishing to see such vastly different reviews. I have some readers that feel Olivia has suffered and is in need of happiness and then I have some readers who feel she's manipulative and doesn't deserve Fitz.

As President Obama said- progress doesn't always come in a straight line.

X

This was the day. Every sweat, tear and pain imaginable has brought her to this defining moment where all her suffering would be over. The many losses in her life will be worth this one win. You never play to lose the games but win them and Olivia has never been more certain that she will finally come out on top.

For months, she had dedicated her life to this election; she breathed, ate, and slept for this election. This wasn't Mellie's presidency it was hers all along – she has even killed for this position. Olivia has lost too much to lose again and this time she won't.

She will win.

She will claim her life back and take the power that was robbed from her. This will be her world and everyone will only live in it, if she so chooses.

"Olivia, when is the last time you went to sleep?" Quinn asked looking the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm fine, Quinn" Olivia hushes out as she walks around the conference room.

"We are now leading, this is huge. We can't stop. We are too close."

The energy was electrifying yet frightening but she couldn't control the uplifting feeling spreading over, many have volunteered whether calling the phone lines or getting out and walking door to door- the people where with her and more importantly so is he.

She has sent weekly briefings to Abby, list of chores that she needed the White House to do- what she needed him to finish. Every request, even the most mundane ones where completed without a whimper or protest.

The time has never been more right then now, and Olivia has never been more ready to come out on top and be declared the winner.

She hasn't thought about therapy or even Fitz for that matter. That moment of pity and self-despair when she called the man she swore she had let go was a learning experience.

Olivia told herself repeatedly that she was over him yet her heart longed for the man she walked away from time and time again, but as fate had chosen they were never meant to be. With Emily answering his phone, it has rested her dreaming mind about the possibility of them becoming more once again.

Her time was up.

Sadly, and graciously Olivia has opted out on her fight for hope and love.

/

"Marcus." Olivia pointed to her chair across from her desk, silently enforcing that he is too sit for this meeting.

He senses the look on Olivia's face. Granted, Olivia has never truly embraced him on her team, but there is this a coolness to her that leaves even him puzzled on the nature of the subject.

"What are we talking about?"

Olivia looks at him, seeing so much of her former self in him. His chest is out, his head is held high, the world belongs to him- he doesn't fear the future, field with endless downs and ups, he accepts them.

"I want to talk about the fact that you are screwing the Republican candidate for the United States of America." Olivia finds herself wincing at her own coldness, she should have approached the subject using a different tactic.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

She eyes him, surprised that he has blatantly lied to her.

"Don't lie to me." Olivia warns "I am the last person you lie to" Olivia raises her voice.

"You are hypocrite." Marcus says nonchalantly

"Excuse me" Olivia asked moving towards the edge of her desk

"You are a hypocrite." Marcus repeats himself "You tell us and your clients not to lie yet that is all that you do."

"You don't know the first thing about me"

"I thought I did at one time but you've changed…you're colder."

She crosses her arms, staring squarely at his examination- never once interrupting him.

"You don't eat. You don't sleep. You don't exist, all that you are is a body with words and a face. I would hear Quinn and Huck talk about you and Jake…how you were spying on him."

A nauseating feeling wipes over her at the mention of Jake. The repulsion that comes with her actions and her lack of thinking when in the moment.

"Or the fact that you were not saving him when you could."

"It is not my job to save him" Olivia says coldly for the first time interrupting him "Everyone looks to me to fulfill their every need…I can't be everyone's everything!" Olivia yells

"I am so tired of everyone placing me at fault for their own inadequacies. It is not my job!" Olivia looks to Marcus ready to strike him at any possible moment with her words as sharp as knives, as her weapon of choice.

Olivia fixes her blouse.

"We've gotten off track. My point is that you cannot screw Mellie Grant."

"Why not?"

Olivia smiles softly at the question, flabbergasted why he would feel doing such things would constitute as being 'appropriate'.

"For starters, she is running for President, the last thing she needs is a sex scandal coming out about our inner-relatedness."

"What do you mean?"

"We are connected Marcus; you work for me and if this gets out the world will be wondering if Olivia Pope and Associates is an undercover prostitution ring for the powerful and wealthy."

"With all due respect Olivia, this has nothing to do with you."

She shakes her head "you don't get it."

"No, I don't. Mellie and I are not children; we don't have to run things by you."

"This wouldn't be living. You will be scrutinized and mocked, people who have no idea who you are will stand there and judge you because of the person you love. Your life, will not belong to you anymore."

"Olivia, Mellie and I know what we are doing."

"No" Olivia shakes her head sadly "you don't. You think this will last…it doesn't."

"Mellie will not choose you over the presidency. She has worked too hard to lose it all for nothing and if it did work and she does become president; do you honestly think the Republican party will stand there and congratulate her on dating a black man who was screwing the mayor's wife?"

The silence is defining. Marcus, can't protest or defend him and Mellie. Olivia is right.

Olivia knows she's hurt Marcus, she can tell by his disposition, she won the argument though no one truly comes out winning.

"Marcus…this will save you in the long run. Trust me."

He lifts his head to look at Olivia. "This isn't about Mellie and I…it's about you."

"Excuse me."

"You 'warning' me isn't for me but yourself."

"Marcus, I've been there…I'm still there."

"With all due respect Olivia, my relationship with Mellie isn't like yours and the President."

She blinks back the tears, the sudden blow to her gut left her momentarily speechless. She hurt him and now he's retaliated.

"You're right" Olivia acknowledges "Unlike the president choosing me, Mellie will never choose you."

"I remind you of yourself, when you first met him."

Olivia sighs heavily closing her arms to form some separation between them and their paralleling universe.

"My life is forever intertwined with his…I loved him; it's why I stayed there and waited for him…but…while her life will go on, yours won't." Olivia looks at Marcus hoping that he listens to what she says "You will look for her, watch her, even when you are mad and angry you will always watch her and before you know it, eight years will have gone by and you still don't have her…and you never will."

Olivia gets up, quickly putting on her coat. The conversation was over and she no longer wished to discuss it anymore; Marcus is grown and if he chooses the route that is the most heartbreaking then at least she tried to warn him of the inevitable heartbreak that will be awaiting him.

"Do you regret your decision?" Marcus asked watching Olivia walk out the door

She pauses. "I regret many decisions."

/

Tonight, is the night. Much has been said and shown but all that matters are the polls. Tonight, is the night where a winner will be named.

The live coverage of the Republican headquarters shows the party is in full swing, but away from the masses sits a close knit group filled with the most trusted team and advisors. The air is stifling yet there is a sense of nervous ease about tonight.

Jake and his wife were in a corner talking to some major donors, while her and the gladiators sat on a chair, their eyes glued to the television. The polls show them leading but the night has only just started.

"Hi Olivia."

Olivia looks up from the restroom mirror and her smile drops at Emily's approaching frame coming towards the sink.

"Hi, Emily."

The awkwardness of the moment is not lost on them.

"You must be excited for tonight to be over." Emily said, making small talk.

Olivia nods her head in agreement "I am."

"What will you do, once it's over."

"What I've always done." Olivia says politely and shortly

Emily smiles softly "Fitz, is looking forward to this being over too. He's ready to let Mellie take over."

Olivia looks at Emily through the mirror and catches her already staring at her. She baited Olivia and got her right where she wants her.

"Well, that's good to hear." Olivia said shortly walking towards the door.

"I know that you called his cell phone." Emily said watching Olivia make her exit from the restroom.

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked moving back into frame so that she could look at Emily

"A few weeks ago, you called his cell phone…I didn't know he had a cell phone until I heard it ring inside his nightstand."

Olivia stares directly at Emily, waiting for her to finish her story.

"What makes you think it was me."

Emily turns off the water so that Olivia could hear her clearly "because when I mentioned it, he downplayed the significance and went to bed…but later that night I heard him get up and walk into the bathroom with the phone in hand…he was calling you."

Tears mounted unbidden to her eyes and she shut them for a moment, focusing on her breathing and recovering from the emotional punch. Fitz hadn't given up on her…he called her but by that time she had already turned her phone off.

She was too late.

"What are you telling me, Emily?" Olivia asked confused as to why Emily would tell her this and why now.

Emily grabs a paper towel, slowly drying her hands. "I'm telling you that he still has feelings for you and it's obvious you still have feelings for him."

Emily looks at Olivia's reddened eyes "but I love him too and I'm not letting him go without a fight."

" Why tell me this?" Olivia asked perplexed that her enemy would tell her something that could possibly be the end of her own relationship with Fitz.

"Because you look like a nice person and I like to think of myself as one too."

"You don't owe me anything, Emily."

Emily chuckles softly "I'm not giving him up, but I just want you to know that I'm ready to fight for him."

/

She downs her glass of wine after the talk with Emily. So much has been left unsaid, he did call her after all. Their relationship has been a series of misfortunate events, and bad timing.

She eyes them from the corner of her eye, in a room filled with close confidants this was there first time coming out as a couple and not fearing the media or backlash. Fitz was slowly making Emily known to those who matter to him.

Emily wasn't letting him go and clearly wasn't pushing her away.

She grabs the file quickly from Marcus, she absorbs her daily briefing, stats were coming in left and right and for the time being she had forgotten about Fitz and Emily and their forever interconnectedness.

She drops the paper in disbelief. Tears fall freely from her eyes as she watches Vargas being declared winner of states they swore they had.

This is too much. She over estimated her abilities, she knows they've lost and worse of all she never even knew they were losing.

Had she known, she would have come up with a plan. A solution to change the narrative, a hook to bring millennial voters out to vote but it was too late.

She is too late, again.

She steps out into the dimly lit hallway. The air was suffocating her, all eyes were glued to the screen, watching and waiting for the winner to be announced; they had hope she knew they didn't.

Her back falls on the wall with fatigue. For the first time since walking inside the hotel she had a moment to herself.

"You okay?"

She looks up at him but she doesn't say a word. He shouldn't be here with her. Quickly her thoughts drift to Emily walking out to see them together, she wonders too herself if she is aware of Fitz's absence.

"No" she keeps her head down, to remain strong. She's not okay. Nothing in her life is okay or even remotely alright.

"What's wrong?"

She sighs heavily "we are going to lose. I am going to lose. The polls were off, we were wrong. Mellie isn't going to be President."

"How do you know this?"

"Polls have been coming in and states we thought we had are clearly going to Cyrus…it's over…I lose."

He walks over to Olivia; he sees the defeat on her face. Olivia has given up.

"I'm sorry for stealing the election…"

Fitz chuckles softly "That's okay, I know your heart was in the right place."

"How can I help you, Olivia?" Fitz asked staring at Olivia

Her eyes water as she begins to open her lips, making her request.

"One minute."

Without a word, he moves closer towards her waiting for her to fill the space between them.

Openly and willingly she walks in his arms. Her head that has been heavy falls on his shoulder, the sudden weight being removed from her body causes her chest to contract.

She cries softly in crook of his neck. her arms wrap tightly around his shoulders-clinging to him. Tears burned the back of her throat and she pressed her lips together to try and halt them.

Without cameras, without the world watching them. Olivia could let herself go, she wasn't the campaign manager, she hasn't just lost the election. For one minute, she had her life together and all the bad things that have happened to her all were untrue.

She removes herself from his warm arms though she would love more than anything to stay there and never leave. But her minute was up and she knew she had to go.

Mostly everyone left. Nobody could celebrate a loss they all knew they would win. So many questions fill her troubling mind and she still can't form a logical answer as to how they lost.

She was over everything, her sacrifices, her tears, her suffering all went for nothing. The winner was not her once again. With the many losses, she has claimed over the years this loss seems to hurt more than the others.

Olivia tried. And even with her trying she still managed to lose. She found herself in the corner of the room away from everyone and anything. She observes their somber mood, one by one they make their leave, they give pity hugs and handshakes to Mellie as though the loss was hers.

Olivia grabs the glass of wine, downing it in seconds before reaching for another one. If she was going to lose and feel the judgmental stares of everyone she knows then at least she could feel good while drowning in their despair and her own.

Nobody comes to check on her. She supposes it stings at first that nobody cares about her own well-being but within seconds she appreciates the solitude. Olivia didn't need anyone to pacify her, the loss was real yet it almost feels like a dream, a horrible dream that eventually she will wake up from.

She cried for a minute but she can't find herself believing the end was here.

"Why don't you have some juice instead?"

She looks up from her glass and catches his concerned blue eyes staring at her.

"I'm fine"

"But you're not."

Olivia lifts her head with tears threatening to fall at any given minute. "Please stop." Olivia pleads "I'm falling Fitz and you have to let me."

Fitz takes one final look at her, deciding whether to stick around or simply do what Olivia wishes.

"Okay." Fitz says walking away giving Olivia her space.

Her eyes follow him sit next to Emily, how her head falls on his shoulder in the same manner that hers did.

Olivia swallows the large amount of salivia lodged in her throat; hoping to stop herself from vomiting at the sight of them together. She turns around to the bar, knowing she would need a stronger drink than wine to relieve the aching pain continuously stabbing at her fragmented heart.

"Rowan's going to love this."

"Go away, Jake."

He moves closer to her, taking in her appearance. Olivia is finally showing the look of defeat and fatigue.

"You ran a hell of an election, Olivia. Nobody did this but you. I'm proud of you."

She sighs knowing exactly the game Jake was trying to play and she can admit she's more tempted now than ever before to forget and simply become numb to world and anything.

"What do you want?" Olivia asked

"You know who I want." Jake whispers "This is our chance, Olivia. We can be together."

"No"

He freezes at the coldness and her definitive answer.

He watches her watch him. "You still think he wants you…after everything you've done."

Her head snaps staring squarely at Jake, she got the clear undertone of the statement. Jake knows more than what he has told her.

"Fitz and I are over. We have been over."

Jake shakes his head at how a promising conversation could end on such a horrible note.

"No matter what I do; I'll never be enough."

She doesn't say a word, what could she say.

"I've always envied your relationship with him; no matter what he does it's always better and grander than what I could ever do…he's always first…I've accepted that but have you accepted that you will never be first to him?"

Her eyes harden as she narrows her gaze at Jake.

"You'll never win." Olivia says coldly throwing daggers directly towards Jake's heart "You will always be second place to him." Olivia seethes with contained rage. "You are a poor man's Fitzgerald Grant, if I can't have him what makes you think I would want you because the only thing you do is remind me of my failures, that instead of having the man of my dreams, I am instead settling for the man of my nightmares."

Jake blinks at Olivia with an unease as how to respond to her vicious attack.

"Regardless of what you think you feel for me, I know at the end of the day you will be calling me to come over…so talk boldly Olivia, I'll see you tonight.

/

"How are you doing?" Fitz asked Mellie walking over to console her .

Mellie takes a long sip of her moonshine "I've been better." Mellie says dejectedly falling to the chair.

"I know this is hard for you. I'm sorry Mellie, if I could change this I would."

Mellie sighs heavily looking around her defeated and deflated group of advisors and friends. "I'm devastated by this Fitz…but…"

Fitz turns to look at Mellie "But what?" he asks

"I'm worried about Olivia." Mellie whispers making sure that the conversation stays between the two of them. "This election, Fitz…this was her everything…and I'm worried what's going to happen to her once she accepts that we lost."

Fitz sighs heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wants to help Olivia desperately, but so much has happened, how can he reach someone who is falling faster than he can catch.

"What would you have me do, Mellie?" Fitz asked "I've tried helping her and she's turned me down…Olivia doesn't like being saved."

"Olivia doesn't realize that she needs saving." Mellie retorts

He folds his arms and stares at Mellie, clearly pained by what is happening and what will continue to unfold.

"I'm doing the best that I can, Mellie" Fitz whispers watching Mellie walk away

"Well you need to do better, otherwise someone else will come in and take your place." Mellie says referencing to Olivia and Jake talking in the corner.

/

Everyone has left, except for those that matter- Mellie, the gladiators, Abby, Fitz, Jake and Emily.

From all areas of the room, Olivia was the talk and watch of the hour. The dejected looks on their face watching her fall from grace. Where was their fearless savior who captivated a room with her grace and power. Now she sits repudiated and some even feel if being completely honest irretrievably broken.

Huck takes the first step; walking over to Olivia he grabs the glass from her hand.

"Huck…" Olivia manages to get out as Huck begins to walk her to the door

"I'm taking you home." he whispers out, unable to stand and watch Olivia fall apart and not help her.

"No" Olivia yells pulling her arm from his.

"Olivia" Huck pleads, not sure if he can bear to watch more of Olivia fall from grace.

"I'm not done."

Olivia turns around and sees everyone circling her, as though she needed help when all of them have come to her at one time in need.

"I have her." Jake says walking towards Olivia "I'll take her home…I'll make sure she's okay."

"Jake what about Vanessa?" Quinn asked

"I'll tell her something came up."

An awkward silence surrounds the group.

"I'm not going home with you, Jake." Olivia hisses as she begins to turn around and look at everyone "or anyone else…I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want and right now I wish to drink." Olivia says pushing her way out of the circle surrounding her.

"I'm taking Olivia, home." Fitz says grabbing Olivia's arm before she could stammer back to the bar.

Fitz eyes circle around the group, silently threatening anyone to go against his wishes. His eyes land on Jake waiting for him to object but he doesn't.

"And who's going to take me home?" Emily asked being the only one to challenge Fitz.

His face drops the second he hears Emily's voice, for a second he forgot Emily was there.

"Emily…" his voice trails off as Olivia roughly removes her arm from Fitz's grip.

"Emily, I'm sorry…I'll have secret service take you home but …" he looks at Olivia stumble on the chair "I have to help her…I'm the only one that can."

Emily looks at Olivia as everyone made their exits.

"It doesn't look like she wants your help."

Fitz nods in agreeance knowing Olivia will fight him and challenge him every step to her apartment.

"I know, but considering the countless times she's saved me…I owe her this much."

A moment passes them by, Olivia eyes Fitz walking towards her from the side of her eye but she pays him no mind, slowly tending to her drink she begins to forget her troubles and her fears and dissolve in the glowing amber liquid.

"Let's go."

Olivia eyes Fitz, shocked by his tone and nerve to tell her what to do, she swore he would have learned by now that she doesn't listen to anyone including herself.

"I'm not done."

"That's enough."

"I'll say when I had enough and right now; I'm just getting started."

Fitz bites his tongue in hopes of remaining cool and understanding of Olivia's feelings but her behavior at this moment has even caused him to become tense.

He grabs the glass from her hand and lifts her from the chair.

"Fitz..."

"If I must carry you out of this room, then I'll do it but we are leaving." Fitz's tone drops as he begins walking Olivia with secret agents surrounding them to his car.

Olivia sulks all the way to the car, angry at Fitz thinking he was somehow her dad and ruler. The purpose of leaving Fitz was to redefine herself outside of them yet being here with him at this very moment, Olivia can see clearly that she has never truly left him.

Olivia doesn't say anything the entire ride to her apartment, her body is moved away from Fitz and he can see the distance growing between. He chides himself for yelling at Olivia the way he did but sometimes it feels as though raising his voice is the only way for him to reach her at times.

"I can manage." Olivia says coldly as they pull up to her apartment, wanting desperately for Fitz to remain in the car and go home to Emily.

Fitz doesn't respond simply getting out of the car and walking behind Olivia all the way to her room.

Though drunk, Olivia fiddles with her keys hoping Fitz would get tired of her and leave without entering her sacred place that is removed off all traces of him and what they use to be.

Dropping the keys to the floor on accident, Fitz grabs them and opens the door. Olivia walks through the darkness with ease though heavily drunk; walking in darkness has become a comfort to her, she's not able to see her reflection or look back to the person she once was and could have been. The anonymity of the dark allows her to succumb to the darkness that has always been inside her.

Light frightened her, the brightness was too overwhelming for her senses. Light eventually turned to darkness and darkness is mostly certainly what she prefers now days.

She cringes at the lights coming on, turning to Fitz annoyed about him bringing light into her dystopia.

"Wow." Fitz says taken aback by the dark decor, he supposes he knew Olivia would eventually change her apartment like anyone would but he never expected such vast change.

Olivia ignores Fitz's shock and makes her way to her the bottle, quickly pouring a glass to calm her.

"You've changed." Fitz says simply, finally able to put everything together. He would tell himself every day that Olivia had a choose on whether to have and keep the baby, and it is a decision he agrees with but there are times when he would wonder if she did regret her decision, did she ever think back to that day.

Fitz sees now, that the decision has drastically changed Olivia.

"Of course I've changed." Olivia hisses angry that he would think she would be fine after everything that has happened.

"When did you do this?" Fitz asked needing more clarification.

"When I left the White house." Olivia snaps.

Fitz nods, slowly absorbing the information.

Olivia turns to her left and see's Fitz in deep concentration by the door. "You can leave" Olivia says removing Fitz from his reverie "I am here and safe, so goodnight Fitz."

He looks around the room for a second before walking to the door and locking it shut.

Olivia jumps from the couch "what the hell do you think you are doing?" Olivia asked watching Fitz take off his coat.

"I'm going to spend the night here with you."

Olivia shakes her head angrily at the thought of being anyone's including Fitz's charity case.

"I don't want you here."

"That's too bad because I'm not leaving." Fitz says throwing his coat on the couch.

"You cannot stay here; shouldn't you be with Emily?"

"I'm sorry about her answering my phone."

Olivia freezes for a moment, never expecting Fitz to bring up her moment of weakness and need.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Don't play dumb; you called my cellphone- the cellphone purposely created for you!" Fitz fights back, becoming more frustrated with Olivia's stubbornness

"I called it by accident and your girlfriend answered it; let it go."

"You didn't call my cellphone on accident…how can you be mad at me when you left me!" Fitz shouts back

Olivia folds her arms in hopes of blocking Fitz of reaching her though she knew the effort would be fruitless.

"Well you moved on."

Fitz walks up to Olivia staring at her incredulously "and so have you with Jake; you don't think I knew the minute we broke up; you went running back to his arms."

Her lip begins to quiver; he's exposed her flaws and failures.

"It wasn't like that."

"How was it?"

Fitz asked feeling his own anger coming to the forefront "I moved on because how many times can I force someone to love me."

She shakes her head, promising herself not to cry in front of him- she looks at him and she knows he doesn't get it.

He doesn't get just how much she loves him and misses him in every way.

The reach an impasse with neither willing to move or bend more than necessary. The conversation was taking a turn in a direction Fitz did not want to go down so soon.

"Leave" Olivia yells opening the door waiting for Fitz to walk out.

"I'm not going anywhere." Fitz says calmly moving to sit on the couch

Olivia stares perplexed by the transaction, slamming the door shut. She downs her glass, feeling the alcohol burn as it soothingly runs down her throat. Her tongue was becoming untamed, so much anger and resent swiftly festering with every second she looks at him.

"Emily, is your girlfriend so I have no idea why you are here with me?"

"Because you don't need to be home alone tonight."

"Who do you think you are?" Olivia asked

"Excuse me?"

"You do not get to tell me what is right and wrong for me, as if you know me."

"Well I thought I did." Fitz hisses "I thought I knew you, I thought we were a family but I look at you and I don't even know who you are anymore."

Olivia runs over to the couch with adrenaline pumping through her veins she feels her heart beating at an astounding rate with every word and look moving between them.

"You want to know what happened to me?" Olivia asked mockingly "I'll tell you what happened to me- my father killed the man I loved son only because he fell in love with me!" Olivia shouts "then my father ran a top-secret government agency and mother is a killer - oh and I was kidnapped but let's just forget that anything happened"

"You think you are the only one who has suffered?" Fitz asked getting up from the couch "I've suffered too but I don't let my demons keep me down."

"Of course you don't because the world needs you; who needs me?" Olivia asked "my gladiators are moving on without me! Everyone is leaving and I am still here" Olivia shouts.

"You don't have to be this person, Olivia." Fitz says calmly hoping and praying that he is reaching Olivia "we can still be who we want to be."

"I can't Fitz…but you can."

"Nothing is irreversibly, Olivia…" he shakes his head disappointed at her giving up so easily. If one thing he could say about Olivia is that she doesn't give up, Olivia Pope never quits.

"What happened to the Olivia I met and fell in love with?" Fitz asked softly

"She's dead."

Olivia wipes the tears rolling down her cheek. "and she's not coming back- not again." Her voice cracks, her hand covers her mouth to silence her cry.

His large arms hold her tightly as she sobs at the life she had and the life that will never be. Fitz doesn't speak, he doesn't move, the heaviness of his arms around her reminds her that she's not dreaming.

She pushes him away; he can't be here. Fitz being here right now will not accomplish anything, how would she feel having him around again only to wake up and he would be gone once the sun came. She can't do that- she won't do that.

"Stop fighting me" Fitz begs her

But she pushes him with as much strength as she can muster but he's strong- sturdy.

"I'm falling Fitz." Olivia whispers in his ear as she feels the effect of the alcohol slowly taking over her and her own fatigue.

"I'll catch you."

"No" she whispers shaking her head "you can't…you can't save me…you have to let me fall."

Fitz inhales her scent, with tears of his own falling silently from his eyes- "I don't think I can." he whispers pained at the idea of losing Olivia though he has only found fragments of her shattered soul.

She gently removes herself from his warm arms. "It would be best for both of us if you left." she begins staggering to her bottle of scotch.

"Let me have it." Olivia stutters reaching for the bottle though Fitz already had it.

"No"

"What did I say?" Olivia asked "let me fall because I'm already going down."

"Olivia this isn't the end of world."

She laughs sarcastically "for me it is!" Olivia shouts

"This election was my win- this election was going to erase all of my hardships and setbacks - this was going to be what settled my loses and now …" she throws her hands in their air in reference to her vacant life "I am back to where I started."

"Your right" Fitz says looking down at Olivia's brown doe eyes filled with such pain and suffering

"I can't stop you or change you." Fitz says handing her the bottle.

She glares at Fitz with anger and contempt that he has the nerve to shame her. She stumbles to her room without the bottle in hand, wanting more than anything to prove him

wrong.

/

Her legs slowly rubbed against the crisp cotton sheets as she stirred in the morning air. It was early; too early. It didn't take very long at all to notice the massive pounding in her head. She opened her eyes and then squeezed them shut just as quickly. The light was entirely too bright, and it only added to the nausea she had been feeling.

She can barely open her eyes in the morning brightness that manages to creep through the curtains, but her tongue is dry and her mouth tastes disgusting and her throat feels like it could stick to itself.

Memories from the night before were accessible, but blurry. But, now, they all started flashing through her mind. She could remember the election, Emily talking to her in the bathroom, but more than that she remembered him; him trying desperately to stop her from hurting herself, how he would tentatively look at her while driving her back to her apartment.

The fight flashes before her eyes. Her hands cover her face; she feels ashamed for how she treated him. Shame washes over her how she could fight with the one person she never wishes to hurt. Nobody understands how much it hurts to love someone you were never good enough to have. Their fight though atrocious made her feel something, as though she had returned home from a long vacation.

She looks at her alarm clock and notices the glass of water and pills set neatly on her bedside table. If she wasn't feeling worse enough, this gentle act of kindness most certainly penetrated her heart in ways that only he could.

She stumbles into the hallway, her feet slapping the cold floor, she's miserable beyond compare.

The pang in her chest intensifies at the sight of him sleeping in her couch.

He's here.

Despite what she said and did, the message she was trying to give to him came through and even with his own hurt feelings he was still there.

The sound of her heart breaking and healing was ringing loudly in her ears.

Somehow despite her stillness, he can feel her eyes on him. He sits up from the couch and Smiles softly at her in a way that left her head spinning.

Though she has already fallen she can still fall in love with him.

"Hi" he mumbles sitting up

She can't speak, her voice is mute but she stares at him in awe. Gratitude fills her heart and soul as she stares at him in amazement

Still to this day he just doesn't know how his existence has vastly changed her life.

"You're here"

He gets up slowly stretching in the process "I never left."

Tears are threatening to fall as she looks up into his eyes, his vision mirroring hers.

"you told me that you were falling and that I was to let you."

He pauses as he recalls last night though painful he felt closer to her somehow as though he was looking at all of perfections and flaws and still seeing the beauty in her existence.

"But…I just wanted to make sure that when you did fall you had a softer place to land."

Olivia closes her eyes, slowly breathing in and out; never realizing that she was crying.

"Hi" His hand lays gently on her cheek, and he tilts her head up so they're meeting eyes again. Somehow, she's surprised that he doesn't flinch or back away, but he doesn't, even though she's touching him on the spot where she broke him.

Fitz is standing right in front of her and suddenly it was hard to breathe again and a million different emotions flooded her body, overwhelming her senses. Everything from confusion to frustration to embarrassment to want and desire crashed over her in a great wave.

Suddenly, the wave of emotions washing over her shut off like a switch. She became aware of just how close her body was to his, how she could feel his heat warming over her

She wants to kiss him, she wants to crawl in his arms and slowly dissolve within him, but she can't- not yet.

"I love you." Olivia says softly though firmly. " I look at you and I know you are the closes thing to home that I have ever felt, I wish….I wish I was ready to give you what you deserve. You should be with Emily" Instead of thinking of the gravity of her statement she listened to the soft hum gently buzzing in her ear.

He pulls back, breaking his gaze into Olivia's eyes, seemingly looking for something though Olivia doesn't have the slightest idea what. Her heart flutters at his inquisitive stare wondering what he must think of her, but then what she sees is a small smile etched across his face.

He's happy.

Warmth spreads over her, more than joyed to see him smile.

He walks over to the couch, and Olivia quickly follows suit, sitting down next to him. With ease they fall into their old custom, Fitz wrapping his arms around Olivia, while Olivia's head falls on his shoulder.

They fall quiet, listening to each other's breathing, silence and peace surrounds them in the face of the rollercoaster of a ride they'd just been on.

Instead of focusing on what the future may bring, Olivia lets herself relax, feeling all her troubles and her fears dissolve in his arms.

Somehow she manages to move closer to him, her legs thrown over his lap while the sound of his heart beating in her ear lulls her to sleep with his hands gently brushing her hair.

Closely her eyes, with his arms wrapped around her she feels warm, safe as though no one can touch her. Instead of her dreaming of nightmares, her dreams are sweet and tomorrow the sun will rise and bring her truth.

For the first time in over a year, Olivia felt a welcoming sensation. A tangible feeling that she swore she lost long ago.

Hope.