Sin
Chapter 4. Hanami
Tonight the moon hides away and I need not see so clearly the path behind me littered with irreparable sins.
In the complete darkness, I can trace the unwilling descend of flowers with my ears. They disengage themselves from the wood that gives them life, only to throw themselves into the air for a moment of glory.
Then they perish, stained by soil.
Or is it the soil that is stained by the petals, their soft bodies crushed and ground into the earth?
Another year, their life will seep into the soil through the roots up the branches, and into new blooms that scatter themselves into the wind, and into death. And how unhesitant it is, the way they rush into eager display of pink flames that consume in one night, their silent labour in a whole year.
Do they suffer regret?
Hisana, he calls out.
I hid my surprise as the trees shake in suppressed glee; a shower of silk encloses me for a moment. I managed a calm greeting, and silently curse the trees for their prank.
Would it amuse them, if I am to die on the spot from the petals of his blade?
Not that I will be saddened by my own demise though, since only the trees will be deprived of a witness to their yearly extravagant sacrament. It was a decision made since our last encounter. I shall not try to get myself killed; neither will I try to prevent it.
I waited, yet only gentleness caressed my skin.
Perhaps he thinks it below him to execute a lowly servant, intruder or not. Perhaps it is the Byakuya-san known only to the trees who is the one with me tonight.
He spoke, voice softened by the falling petals, and revealed himself to be the latter.
The intimate darkness renders everyone void of form and substance. The trees, he, I. We are but the night air that stretches on into infinity. No memory, no obligation, no duties.
The solitude in his voice is so child-like.
It echoed in the chamber of my mind, stirring up the dust and revealing to me, the last child I embraced.
I murdered that child.
The spell breaks.
He picks up the mantle of reality; I shoulder the graveness of my past. I step down into humbleness for him to rise into nobility.
For once, the trees are mutually silent as we complete our ritual.
Our paths diverge.
Impulse suddenly caught me, as his presence receded. The improper address passed through my lips before I can stop it.
"It's a cold night, don't stay out too long, Byakuya-sama."
I cannot help but reach out across the distance.
Because he must not do so, and his night is so cold.
.
Hisana has confessed, so I shall say too, that I suffer from writer-ly sins. There is a certain fear that no one is reading these incoherent stuff and the world is better without them. So dear readers, if you'd care to observe, I tend to update after reviews.
I imagine a hypothesis that all the wip laying about are the result of such fears.
I hope I am far from truth and those intelligent and motivated people are just out of inspiration for the moment. I hope I will become one of those people, some day. Though then again, I might just be correct that we all need people to assure us our things are worth reading. I fear that it is so.
Writers and reviewers out there, you may mutilate me, for I confess the reviews I receive far outnumber the ones I wrote. It is not right that I should expect reviews. After all, there is not much to write most of the time anyway, as I read other people's things and mine. I ought to try curb my need of mental assurance. Though any review, of course, would still be very much welcomed.
I wonder here, who has the patience to read my ramblings up to here where it shall finally end?
Lastly, thank you so much, again, Lima-hime, this chapter has doubled in length due to your review...I would like to hate myself for this desire of affirmation.
