On to Chapter 4!!!! When Charmed is over....

Fang: No, now.

Me: What, Fang, you don't like Charmed?

Fang: Uhhh....no.

Me: Then why do you watch it with me?

Fang: Boredom.

Me: Yeah...

Fang: The witches are kind of cute, too....

Me: -whacks-


Iggy's POV

You know something's wrong when you're sitting in your room and Fang suddenly storms in, slams and locks the door behind him, and flops down on your bed, panting. "That was close."

"What was close?" I asked, continuing to work on the latest bomb projet I had going. This one was going to be better than Big Boy, I could just feel it.

"Max. Something's bugging her or something." Fang said. "She's in a bad mood....And taking it out on me."

I almost laughed. "Fang, don't worry about it. I'm sure it won't last long."

"Of course I'm worried about it!" Fang snapped back. "Something's wrong, and I want to know what's up."

"Alright, Fang, I'll tell you what's up."

"What?"

I grinned. "It's PMS."

"Oh, and how do you know that?"

"Very simple, Fang." I answered. "She's showing the 10 signs of PMS."

"Sure, Ig..."

I sighed. "Fang, let's do a quick recap of yesterday."


Third Person POV

MULTIPLE FLASHBACKS

Sign 1: Everyone Around You Has An Attitude Problem.

Breakfast. One of Fang's three favorite times of the day, besides Lunch and Dinner. But, unfortunately, it was about to be ruined.

"What's for Breakfast?" Max asked, walking into the kitchen.

Not being much for talking during any time of the day, much less the morning, Fang just shrugged.

Max's hands went to her hips. "What, Fang? Can't just tell me you don't know? Oh, nooo you're just too cool for that. You just shrug."

Now Fang was slightly confused. "What? I always just shrug."

"Oh, so you should just always get away with that!" Max snapped back. "Well, excuse me, Mr. Attitude Problem! Don't let me bother you! I'll just go!" She stormed out of the room, leaving Fang to wonder what the hell he did.

Sign 2: You Add Chocolate Chips To Your Cheese Omelet.

Well, finally Max did return for Breakfast, but only when 'That Moody Little Emo Sexist Pig' was gone.

"Hey, Max, guess what's for breakfast?" Iggy asked cheerfully.

"What?" Max spat.

"Omelets! You like omelets, right?" He asked, placing her omelet in front of her.

"I guess..." She said, picking at her breakfast.

As everyone else was eating, Max got up and pulled a bag out of the cupboard. She proceeded to open it and dump the contents onto her plate.

"Max, what are you doing?" Iggy asked.

"I'm adding something..."

Nudge looked over and caught a glimpse of the bag. "Chocolate chips?"

"Yeah, so?" Max snapped. She glared around the room as everyone stared at her. "What?!" she snapped at everyone, then stormed out of the kitchen.

Sign 3: The Dryer Has Shrunk Every Last Pair of Your Jeans.

Fang was just turning the corner in the hallway, heading to his room, when he suddenly found himself spawled out on the floor. He turned around to find that he had tripped over a slowly growing pile of jeans coming out of Max's room.

He got up and poked his head in the door. "Max? Isn't this a weird time to start spring cleaning?"

"I'm not spring cleaning!" She shot back.

"Then....what are you doing?"

"It's my jeans!" She snapped. "The dryer shrunk them!"

Fang stared at the Mount Everest-like pile. "All of them?"

"Oh, shut up and screw off!" Max yelled.

Fang went to say something else, but suddenly found himself with a facefull of jeans.

Sign 4: Your Husband/Boyfriend/Significant Other is Suddenly Agreeing With Everything You Say.

Fang was completely confused and freaked-out by now, and he wasn't doing anything to make it worse.

"Fang?" Max called, walking into the living room.

"Damn, she found me." Fang thought. "Yeah, Max?"

"This top fits me, right?"

"Of course."

She ran a hand through her hair. "I don't need a haircut, do I?"

"Nope."

"Ella said I needed a haircut, but I don't need a haircut."

"No, you don't."

"And she said this top was too tight. It's not too tight!"

"Of course it isn't."

"Well, it could be, but so what?!"

"Exactly."

"Though....it might make me look slutty.....But I don't look slutty, right?"

"No way."

"Oh, and then she went on this whole thing about the Jonas Brothers. She thinks they're so wonderful. They suck!"

"Of course they do."

"She just goes on and on about the damn JoBros! I mean, she's obsessed, isn't she?"

"She is."

"Though that song they do, Burnin' Up, that one's good, right?"

"Yep."

"Yeah, I like that song...You know, the Jonas Brothers aren't that bad, are they?"

"No they aren't."

"I kind of like them, don't you?"

"Oh, they're great."

"Yeah..." Max caught her reflection in a mirror on the wall. "Oh, man, I need a haircut, don't you think so?"

"Yeah."

"I think I'll get one." She pulled at her shirt. "Gosh, and this shirt's so tight, I can't breathe! Don't you think it's tight?"

"Yep, I do."

"I'm going to go change." She walked out.

Fang collapsed back on the couch. Exhausting....

Sign 5: You're Using Your Cell Phone To Dial Up Every Bumper Sticker That Reads: "How's My Driving? Call 1-800-000-0000."

Dr. Martinez, Max, Iggy, and Nudge were on the road, driving to town. Iggy, because he wanted to buy supplies for dinner, Nudge, because she liked anything to do with shopping, and Max, because she now needed new jeans and a haircut.

"Max, please put my cell phone down." Dr. Martinez said, sighing as, once again, Max grabbed her phone and began dialing another bumper sticker number.

"Oh, come on, Mom!" Max said. "That guy just totally cut us off!"

"He just passed us..." Nudge said.

"I don't care! He's a jerk!"

The guy on the other line picked up. "Hello?"

"Yeah, I'd like to report one of your drivers. License plate, errr....Bubba B. He just cut us off!"

"Ok, thank you, ma'am. We'll-"

"And it looks like he's talking on his cell phone. That doesn't seem very safe to me."

"Well-"

"And don't you think 'Bubba B' is a bit unprofessional for a license plate number?"

"It-"

"And the guy's hair is all in his face? How can he see where he's going?!"

"Ma'am-"

"And one more thing!"

Everyone in the car sighed. This could go on forever..."

Sign 6: Everyone's Head Looks Like An Invitation to Batting Practice.

"Iggy, why are we having green peppers?" Max asked angrily.

Iggy shrugged. "Because. What's wrong with green peppers?"

"I don't like them."

Iggy just grinned. "Well, sucks to be you, huh?"

Suddenly, Iggy felt something hard whack him in the back of the head and his face ended up in the bowl of salad he'd been working on.

"Jerk!" Max screeched, storming out of the kitchen.

Dr. Martinez came running in seconds later. "Iggy, what happened?"

"I...dunno. But do you see all the pretty stars that just appeared?"

"No..."

"Oh, then it must be the concussion." He muttered as he slid down to the floor.

Sign 7: You're Convinced There's A God, And He's Male.

Max stormed into Fang's room, causing him to cringe. He thought about turning invisible and pretending not to be there, but Max saw him.

"Fang, Iggy is such a jerk!"

"Uh...really?" Fang asked, unsure of how to get out of the conversation. "What'd he do?"

"He's making green peppers!"

"Oh.....uhhhh....that's.....ummmmm.....terrible." It was kind of hard for him to find a reaction to that.

"Seriously, I hate my life sometimes!" Max said, plopping down on the bed.

"Because of green peppers?" Fang asked, once again, confused.

"No, because of God!"

"God? I thought he was a nice guy?"

Max rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure. Some sexist male pig like you would think that! I bet you eat green peppers, too!" She shoved Fang, almost knocking him off the bed, and stormed out.

Fang just sat and stared. And stared. And stared.

"Ummmm....What?" He thought.

Sign 8: You're Sure That Everyone's Scheming To Drive You Crazy.

Angel was preparing Celeste for an afternoon tea party. She had just gotten her dressed in a brand-new tutu, when Max stormed in, sat down next to her, and said, "Ok, the jig's up."

Angel continued to fix Celestes tutu. "What jig? Isn't that a dance?"

Max shook her head. "No, no, I mean, I know what you're all up to."

Angel looked at her. "What do you mean, Max?"

"Oh, don't play cute with me, Angel. I know. Why don't you just fess up to this little conspiricy and get it over with?"

Angel hugged Celeste, picking up on Max's volatile condition. "I don't know what's going on..."

"Max?" Ella asked, coming in, which gave Angel the chance to make a run for it out the door. "I was just looking for you-"

"To what? Drive me crazy?!" Max spat. "I know what you're up to!"

"Max," Ella said. "Seriously, I'm starting to think you need to take a break or something. You're getting freaky."

"Oh, I wonder why?!" Max said, getting up. She pointed her finger in Ella's face. "Don't worry, I'll get you! I'll get all of you!" She stormed out of the room.

Ella just crossed her arms and shook her head. "Scary..."

Sign 9: The Ibuprofen Bottle is Empty and You Bought It Yesterday.

"Max, hand over the bottle."

"No!"

Fang heard the fight coming from the bathroom, and would've tried to avoid it, if it wasn't for the fact that poor Gazzy was standing outside the bathroom door, waiting. And from the strained look on his face, he'd been waiting for a while.

Fang tentatively knocked on the door. "Uhh...girls?"

"Max, there's only one damn pill left? Are you trying to become an addict or something?!"

"You don't understand! I. Am. In. Pain!!"

Fang knocked louder. "Girls! Gazzy's gotta go!"

"You are being sooo ridiculous!"

"You're being such a pain in the ass!"

Fang finally just looked down at Gazzy and shrugged. "I'd suggest going out in the woods. It's faster."

Sign 10: Three Little Letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.

After the self-induced, stressful day, Max had finally just collapsed on the couch, tired. Probably from all the yelling.

Fang, hoping to somehow figure out what the problem was and make it all better, came in and sat on the couch next to her. "Hey, Max, you ok?"

"No."

He sighed. She was still in a bad mood. "Max, that's it. What's really bugging you today?"

She looked up at him. "You want to know. You really want to know?"

"Yeah, of course, Max." Fang answered. "I want to know if I can help."

"Oh, well you can help! You can help by getting away from me!"

Now Fang was both confused and a little hurt. "W-why?"

"My problem is you!" Max spat.

"Me?" Fang was madly running everything he'd done in the past day or two through his mind, trying to figure out where he'd went wrong.

"Yes, you! All of you!"

Once again, confusion struck. "All of me?"

"All of you men! I swear to God, you all ruin everything! Why can't you guys just all go away?!?!" She shoved Fang again for emphasis, and stomped out of the room.

Fang just rubbed his now-bruised arm and continued to try to figure out what the heck was going on.


END MULTIPLE FLASHBACKS

Iggy's POV

"See, Fang? All 10 signs." Iggy said, attaching the last wire to his new bomb. "There, done."

"I'm still not sure..." Fang muttered.

Iggy shrugged. "Hey, either that or she's pregnant." He grinned. "Fang...That wouldn't be a possibility, would it?"

Iggy was suddenly hit by something. A pillow. "Shut up, Ig!"

"Just checking." Iggy said, laughing.

"FANG!!!!"

"Shit, it's her!" Fang exclaimed.

"You're invisible now, aren't you?" Iggy asked.

"You bet."

"Good plan. What should I tell her?"

"Tell her.......I'm dead."

"She won't believe that."

"Ummm....I'm not here?"

"She has Fang-dar. She'll find you."

"Uhhhh....Tell her I'm gay."

"That she'll believe."

"Very funny..."


I would like to thank GetAmused(dot)com for the list.

And Fang for keeping me awake to write this.

Fang: -bows- Thank you, thank you all. I'd like to thank all the little people out there-

Spiffy: Excuse me! Little people?

Fang: Spif, please. No offense to the Hobbits out there, of course!

Me: Ok, guys, break it up!

Spiffy: Fine! -storms out-

Fang: He's so touchy!

Me; Well, you get touchy when I call you gay!

Fang: That's because I'm not gay.

Me: Denial is the first sign...

Fang: Sign of what?

Me: -sigh-

R&R?