Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot and the order that these words are arranged in. And even that is debatable.
Age Guide:
Loki: 17 years old (first year of University)
Thor: 21 years old (fourth year of University/second year of Co-op)
AITE,IWNCAA Comparison: A semester before Chapter 5
Four.
"Dammit Thor! Can I have just one full minute of silence? Is that too much to ask?" Loki snapped.
Thor wilted just a little in the driver seat. However, considering the incredible state of excitement he had been in since Loki had agreed to drive up to SHIELD University with him, even in this more depressed state Thor was undeniably jubilant. Loki refused to feel guilty.
"Sorry, Loki."
Loki shut his eyes and continued his doomed attempt to nap. Of course, the fact that he was turned to face the untinted window was detrimental to his efforts, but Loki would choose the glaring sunlight over Thor's shining presence.
They had left early on Friday morning and it was now Sunday morning. That equated to two full days spent trapped with Thor in a tiny – okay, not really tiny, but relatively speaking – car and miniscule – moderately sized – hotel rooms. Loki profoundly regretted the stupid decision to agree to Thor's 'road trip' idea. Normally he would blame the drugs and alcohol – and normally he would have been right – but he didn't do that anymore.
Not since…
Well.
In any case, Loki was also feeling deeply suspicious of Thor's planning of this trip – could they not have driven longer rather than turn in early two days in a row? But apparently because they were using Thor's car, Loki did not get a say in this.
At least they had not been subjected to the overplayed trope of all of the hotels' two-bed rooms being completely booked. Sharing a room had been bad enough; the separate beds were a blessing as far as Loki was concerned.
A pleasant melody started to tease Loki's ears and he sighed pleasantly. Then he realized that it was Thor humming again.
"I swear to God, Thor!" Loki reached across the car to punch Thor in the thigh.
Barely batting an eye, Thor frowned at Loki. "That's dangerous."
"Your voice is a danger to my hearing."
Loki was a bit irritable. He had spent nearly his entire life glued to Thor's side and yet suddenly two days in Thor's constant presence had Loki feeling suffocated and so incredibly frustrated. Naturally, this only served to frustrate him more.
"Peace, Loki. We have almost arrived, I promise," Thor said, unaffected by Loki's bad mood. It seemed nothing could bring him down today.
Typical Thor. Loki found it equal parts annoying and adorable.
Somehow Loki did manage to doze for a little while. One second he was glaring obstinately at the sun and the next he was being awoken by a warm hand massaging his shoulder blades.
Tensing at the touch, Loki nearly fell out of the passenger seat in his haste to open the car door. Rather than face what was sure to be an abashed expression on Thor's face, Loki instead looked at the apartment building in front of him.
It was a bit…run down. Definitely not the kind of place in which one would expect the sons of Odin to reside. Not to mention that the lack of security would give Frigga heart palpitations. Thor's living situation for his freshman year had been the result of an argument with their father that both men had been too stubborn to let go. That Thor chose to remain in this place even after they had reconciled?
Typical Thor.
"It is much nicer on the inside, this I swear," Thor called from where he was already unloading the car. "Steven, my previous flatmate, most expertly cleaned the place when we first moved in. I helped!"
"Well, I am certain you tried," Loki allowed. He started heaving as many boxes as he could into his slim, but leanly muscled arms.
As they took the creaky elevator up to the fourth floor, Thor kept up a steady stream of chatter about that one week the elevator stopped working and how the apartment got a bit chilly during the winter, but didn't Loki prefer the cold anyway? And here's a list of every single inhabitant of this building because of course Thor had met them all because he's so fucking friendly.
Through a herculean show of restraint, Loki managed to limit himself to three eye-rolls in the duration of the elevator ride. Perhaps Thor's cheery attitude was catching.
When they arrived at the door, Loki admitted to feeling some small amount of anticipation as Thor unlocked the door. When it swung open to a rather quaint apartment, Loki was pleasantly surprised. Everything was quite neat and tidy, save for a few bags piled in the living room.
"Those must be Steven's," Thor said, charging in with his usual energy and dumping the boxes he was holding on a nearby kitchen counter.
Loki followed a little more cautiously, curious eyes taking in every nook and cranny, and did the same.
Standing in the small kitchen just an arm's length from Thor, it dawned on Loki just how limited space would be in this apartment. True, Loki and Thor had shared a house for most of their lives, but it wasn't comparable. In a mansion you have plenty of room to yourself. Here…it seemed that they would be living practically on top of each other.
Taking a deep breath, Loki closed his eyes and willed away the feeling that the walls were closing in on him.
A minute passed.
Considerably calmer, Loki slowly opened his eyes and immediately caught Thor's.
Thor reached out carefully while taking slow, measured steps towards Loki. The caution both irked Loki and made gratitude well up within him. He tried to keep his gaze level and unimpressed, but must have failed as the restraint in Thor's body eased and Loki found himself being gathered into a tight embrace.
"I am so happy that you are here with me," Thor whispered into his ear.
Sinking into the feeling despite his best efforts, Loki granted himself a few long minutes before he prodded at Thor's chest in a wordless demand for release. Thor gave it to him reluctantly.
Looking up at Thor, Loki immediately wished to turn his eyes away. The way that Thor looked at him, so openly adoring…it was no wonder that Loki had been informed of Thor's feelings not once, but three times by outsiders to their relationship.
Sif had been the first. Being only twelve at the time, Loki hadn't been able to infer the implication, although he had been clever enough even then to know that something was amiss. And so he had resolved to watch her. In doing so, however, he had noticed how she watched Thor. To take it even further, this had led to him realizing how much Thor watched him. It was so convoluted and perfectly fitting for their teenaged drama.
Even then he hadn't quite understood. The knowledge sat in the back of his mind, continually weighing on his subconscious, but not revealing itself. It was as if he had all the pieces of the puzzle but had yet to properly assemble it. He spent most of his middle school to high school years soaking up Thor's attentions, feeling an inexplicable irritation at Thor's dalliances that he covered up with leering encouragement, becoming confusedly aware of his equal appreciation for both sexes as long as the individual was blond and amiable and all the while he remained ignorant. Perhaps willfully so.
Loki fancied that he had been on the cusp of acceptance on the night of his entanglement with Fandral. In another life Fandral's divulgation might have been the push Loki needed. In that other life, that night would have ended with Loki safe at home in his own bed.
If Loki had been willfully ignorant before, now he grasped desperately for the oblivion ignorance offered.
And yet, looking into Thor's bright blue eyes and the depth of affection that lay there…it was so hard to imagine that Loki had ever not known because Thor had always looked at him like that.
But there was a danger in knowing. Danger in the way that Loki's eyes wanted to linger and his fingers itched to touch. Danger in his dubious hold of his own self-control when confined in a small space with Thor. Danger in his heart's conflicting desires: it's longing for Thor and its insistence that, despite Loki's mind's rejection of the term, Thor was his brother.
Yes, the past two days in Thor's company had made Loki frustrated in a way he had not experienced before.
Thor had ever inspired opposing emotions in Loki. Pride for Thor's virtues, and yet jealousy for the achievements that those same virtues wrought. Malicious glee at his short-comings and yet a tender appreciation for the flaws which made him Thor. Burning love and…well, not hate, never hate. But Loki had often wished for the ability to hate Thor, and wasn't that enough?
This new frustration did not come from Loki's own paradoxical feelings toward Thor, but in the sudden sexual edge that had infected every sentiment.
He did not know what to do with it. It confounded him. It scared him.
The fear clawed at the back of his throat even now as he stared back into Thor's devoted gaze, as he felt simultaneously comforted and smothered by the warmth there. Loki knew he didn't fear Thor, he didn't even think it possible, and yet the fear remained. Thor's large hand was a soothing touch at his neck, drawing Loki closer and closer still. Loki went willingly, the fear abating in light of this more engrossing development.
There was a grating scratch of metal against metal.
Neither Borson moved.
The door opened easily, exposing a blond man clutching a pair of useless keys in his hand, among other things.
Loki pulled sharply away from Thor and spun around to hide his blushing face from the intruder even as Thor greeted him loudly.
"Steven! I wondered where you were. We entered to find your bags in the living room, but their owner missing."
"Hey Thor! Mine and Peggy's new lease doesn't start until tomorrow, but I didn't want to put your brother out of a room. Packing up all my things took less time than I thought it would, so I went out to grab some coffee and donuts. I thought you two would appreciate it after the long ride up here."
The stranger – Steven – had a friendly voice. Loki deemed himself appropriate for company and turned to face him. Thor and Steven were now standing side by side in the kitchen, grinning and making idle small-talk and Loki was struck by their similarities.
Steven was blond, big and muscled. Smaller than Thor, but not by much. Even his blue eyes and kind smile were reminiscent of Thor's puppyish disposition. All in all he was exactly Loki's type.
"Hey, you must be Loki. I recognize you from the pictures! It's really swell to finally meet you. I'm Steve, the guy that used to stay in your new room," Steve said, holding out his hand in a genuinely welcoming gesture. Loki eyed it distastefully and then swept his narrowed green gaze up and down Steve's body and back to meet Steve's unguarded blue eyes.
Loki crossed his arms. "Well, at the very least I shall not have to worry about any bodily fluids staining my new mattress. You are positively virginal."
"Loki!" Thor admonished as Steve's ears turned a charming red.
Loki simply shrugged, unabashed.
"It's alright, Thor," Steve said, nervously running a hand through his cropped hair. "I gotta say, though, when you told me Loki was wary around strangers, I figured you meant that he was shy."
Loki's answering look could have curdled milk.
After an awkward beat of silence, Steve spoke again. "These donuts aren't going to eat themselves. I didn't know what you would like, so I got the variety pack." He was looking earnestly at Loki as he said this, holding out the open box like an olive branch.
Loki completely bypassed it and took one of the three coffees that were sitting on the kitchen table instead. He did not neglect the manners he had been raised with by not giving thanks, but Loki's frosty tone of voice made it clear that it was not an invitation for further conversation.
Naturally Thor seamlessly stepped in to cover Loki's lack of amiability. "How was your summer," Thor asked, all the while aiming a disappointed look at Loki from across the table. It seemed Loki had finally succeeded in dampening his mood.
"It was great! Bucky and some of the other guys hung around too and we had a weekly game going. We came up with some pretty neat plays that we're gonna work on with the team." Steve turned to Loki. "Thor mentioned that you went to all of his games and practices in high school. Think you'd be interested in trying out for the football team here? You could join in on one of our friendly games to get a feel for it if you want."
Steve's expression was guileless. Loki frowned. "Does my physique at all suggest that I would enjoy tackling and being tackled by men twice my size?" he asked snidely, raising an unamused brow. "I find football to be a brutish sport meant for the simple-minded."
Floundering at that, Steve turned red again. Loki was unsure if it was due to embarrassment or anger.
Thor saved the conversation again, inquiring about his old teammates. His co-op took up too much time for him to have remained on the team and he clearly missed it.
Loki, on the other hand, was faced with an unpleasant reminder that SHIELD, much like Asgard, was a school centered on football culture. He mourned for what could have been, but Alfheim had ceased to be a possibility. It was just another one of many things that had changed since that night.
Distracting himself from these morose thoughts, Loki occupied himself by sipping idly at his coffee and avoiding Thor's intermittent brooding glances. He checked his phone and saw a missed call from Sigyn, as expected.
It hadn't taken long for Loki to start missing her terribly after he had banished her from his room. He had held out an admirable twenty-one days until he had finally succumbed and answered one of her many calls. Their relationship had existed like that for the rest of their senior year; Sigyn at Asgard High and Loki being tutored at home with only the rare phone call to connect their decidedly separate lives. She always called at least once a day. Loki didn't always pick up.
The day before he left for SHIELD with Thor, Loki had finally arranged to meet with Sigyn in person.
He regretted not doing so sooner.
He had never been angry at her, not really. He had simply been appalled by her lack of tact. Bringing up Thor had been so unnecessary and Loki had not been able to deal with it or, by extension, her. Of course, it finally occurred to Loki that it had been unfair of him to expect Sigyn to know exactly the right things to say in that situation. Neither of them had been equipped to deal with it.
Now Loki was determined to repair their friendship. He resolved to call her after he finished unpacking.
Tucking his phone back into his pocket, Loki looked across the table and rolled his eyes. Steve and Thor had clearly torn into the box of donuts, polishing them off in record time even as they maintained a steady flow of conversation. Loki was once again witness to the traits that they clearly shared: both sociable with large appetites. They looked more related than Loki and Thor.
The paper cup in Loki's hand crumbled ever so slightly under the pressure of his clenching hand.
"Thank you for the refreshments, Steve. It was very thoughtful of you!" Thor announced after tipping the last contents of his coffee cup into his ravenous mouth.
Steve laughed, patting Thor on the shoulder. "No problem, buddy. Now, do you guys need any help moving Loki in?"
Thor furrowed his brows in consideration. "There are still some boxes in the car, but I believe that I can manage them alone," he told Steve.
"Maybe I could help Loki set up his new room then?" Steve asked, eyes darting between the two Borsons, unsure of whom he should aim the question at considering how unreceptive Loki had been thus far.
Before Loki could shoot him down thoroughly, Thor was already agreeing loudly. "That would be most helpful!"
Loki's displeased expression went completely unnoticed and with a few long strides he was left alone with a virtual stranger.
Steve knocked a loose fist against the top of one of the boxes set on the kitchen counter. "I guess these are all yours?" he asked needlessly.
Loki didn't deign to answer. Hoisting up two boxes, Loki waited wordlessly until Steve did the same. He then followed Steve deeper into the apartment at a safe distance.
"Well here it is," Steve said, carefully depositing the boxes he had carried on the hardwood floor. "I know it's probably not much compared to your room back home, but it grows on you," he said, smiling sheepishly at Loki while standing in the middle of the scarcely furnished, closet-sized room.
"Humans are adaptable creatures," Loki remarked, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. He crossed the room to inspect a second door.
"That's the closet," Steve said. He then walked towards the large windows and pulled back the long, heavy curtains to reveal a third door. "Thor's room is a little bigger, but I chose this one because of the balcony."
Edging discreetly past Steve, Loki opened the balcony door and stepped out onto the deck. The wooden planks were weather-beaten, the paint on the railings was chipping and the whole terrace was just large enough to fit a small end table and a rickety chair. Despite these failings, Loki found his attention captured by the unobscured expanse of sky and greenery that the balcony looked out on.
A small smile settled upon Loki's thin lips.
"It's a pretty good view, huh? That's Red Ronin Park where me and my teammates like to pass the ball around, if you ever change your mind," Steve said, leaning his weight on the railing next to Loki.
Immediately straightening up, Loki ducked back into the bedroom. "Doubtful," he said shortly, kneeling down and opening one of the boxes he had brought with him.
Sighing despondently, Steve settled down to do the same with the pile he had carried in himself.
Finding that this particular box contained clothing, Loki set about sorting them into separate piles.
"Wow, that's a lotta books!"
Loki looked up to see Steve leafing through a heavy tome. "I like to read. And there's certainly enough room," Loki said, nodding his head towards the wide bookcase in one corner of the room.
Steve chuckled. "Yeah. That's because I like to read too, actually."
Loki made a disbelieving sound in the back of his throat, but said nothing in reply.
"You know, the library at SHIELD is pretty good, but it doesn't really have variety. I could show you the local library, if you want," Steve offered generously.
Loki slammed his hands against the flooring and glared at him. "Why do you insist on being so kind to me when I have been anything but in return?"
Steve looked taken aback. "U-Um, well, Thor's a really good friend of mine a-and he cares about you, so…" he stuttered out clumsily.
"I see. Because I am Thor's younger brother and Thor is your friend, you feel obligated to befriend me." Loki sneered. "Then allow me to disabuse you of this well-intentioned, but ultimately foolish notion."
"That's not what I meant!" Steve frowned and rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. Curiously, Loki found his own ire diminishing at the motion. "Look, I've been friends with Thor for about three years now and I'd like to think I have a pretty good handle of his personality. Brother or not, Thor's fondness for you makes me think that behind that…sassy front you put on is a really great person worth getting to know. Being family may mean you have to care about someone, but it doesn't necessarily mean you have to like them. And Thor…it's pretty clear that you're his favourite person in the world."
Blinking his wide green eyes, Loki tilted his head to the side. "Brother or not?" he murmured thoughtfully.
"Huh?"
Loki shook his head. "I was merely pondering over your word choice. Sassy?" Loki smirked.
"Hey, it was the first thing that came to mind!" Steve defended, grinning.
"You mean that out of all the words that came to mind, it was the least offensive," Loki corrected.
Steve laughed, loud and bright. He didn't deny it.
They went back to sorting through Loki's things in a more amicable silence.
"It's kind of funny," Steve started, breaking the quiet that had settled over them, "For the longest time I thought you were Thor's sweetheart."
Loki dropped the sweater he was holding. His head shot up to look at Steve who was completely focused on filling the bookshelf.
"He was always calling you by your name – it happened so much that some of the guys joked he just liked to hear the sound of it out loud – and in the pictures he hung up the two of you don't look alike at all, so I had no idea you were brothers," Steve continued obliviously. "Man, the way he talked about you…even Peggy agrees! We all thought he was in love with you." Steve slid in the last book in his hand and then turned to smile at Loki over his shoulder. "Funny, right?"
Fingers playing with the ends of his long sleeves, Loki found that he didn't have to force himself to smile back. His lips were already quirked upwards at the twisted sort of amusement he found in Steve's words. "Yes…that is indeed quite funny."
"LOKI! STEVEN?"
Loki and Steve shared a bemused look.
"I'll go see what he wants," Loki said, standing up fluidly. He made his way to the front door and pulled it open. Leaning against the frame, body blocking the doorway, Loki quickly grasped Thor's dilemma. "I thought you could handle the rest of the boxes on your own?" Loki teased, arms folded across his chest as he aimed a superior look at Thor.
"And I could," Thor countered, face nearly hidden by the tall pile of boxes in his arms. "It was turning the doorknob that caused me difficulty."
Loki shook his head, amused, and stepped out into the hallway to grant Thor passage. "Perhaps next time you will not be so overconfident," he called after Thor's disappearing figure. "Oh!"
Something bumped into Loki, causing his forehead to knock against the corridor wall. Loki leapt away from the contact before whirling around. "Watch where you walk!" he hissed out at the short, brown-haired boy that had walked into him.
Loki eyed the stranger judgmentally. He was around Loki's age and despite the rumbled state of his clothing, he was clearly dressed in designer labels from the pointed tips of his bright coloured shoes to the orange-tinted sunglasses covering his eyes. Coming from old money himself, even Loki thought that the other boy was overdoing it.
"Sorry," the boy slurred, "Just another one of the reasons why when I ask 'your place or mine', I actually mean 'mine'. I'm no good at this walk of shame business. Or stride of pride? Either one. Also my place has coffee."
"You truly expect me to believe that my neighbour's apartment does not contain even a single coffee bean?" Loki asked feeling vaguely entertained.
"Not sure what good a single coffee been would do me. 'Sides, I'm not really the 'stick around for breakfast' type."
"And here I was going to extend the generous offer for you to nourish yourself at my own apartment."
A dark brow rose above the obnoxious sunglasses. "Are you serious?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Huh. I think I like you. What are the chances of you giving me your number even though I just 'stride of pride'd my way out of another apartment and right into you?"
Loki fought against the smile that threatened to cross his face. A year ago he would have said yes without a second thought, though perhaps after a little more wheedling; he had never been that easy. "Slim to none," he said instead.
The boy grinned roguishly. "I like those odds." He held out his right hand. "Tony Stark."
Loki grinned mockingly. "Not interested." And with that he re-entered his apartment and shut the door.
Laughing lightly, Loki turned around only to run right into Thor.
Two arms came up to trap Loki against the larger body. Loki sighed. "What is it Thor?"
Thor peered down at Loki, worry lining his brow. "You are fine?" he asked.
Reaching up to twirl a thick lock of Thor's long hair around his finger, Loki felt Thor's gaze settle heavily on him. There was concern in Thor's voice, yes, but also something else. Something that darkened his stormy eyes and tightened his grip on Loki's hips.
Loki read a subtle jealousy in every part of Thor's body…and he liked it.
He tugged playfully on Thor's hair before quickly dropping his hand and pulling away from the older boy. "I am."
Surprisingly enough, he was telling the truth.
/Four.
What kind of stupid person decides to dedicate a sizable chunk of a chapter to a character that they only know through fanfic and gifs on tumblr? *Points at self* This guy!
So give it to me straight, how OOC is Steve? Come to think of it, this also applies to Tony. *Face palm* Main reason why it took me so long to start writing Thorki: I've only watched the two Thor movies.
Hopefully the rest of the chapter makes up for any missteps I made in their characterization. It feels a bit weird, I don't know why. I think I'm trying too hard to make sure that everything gets fit in. There was so much ground to cover! This chapter just kind of makes me sad, but I can't seem to fix it to be less awful, so I guess we're all stuck with it.
Let me know what you think,
Midnight's Violet Haze
HS
