The last week had been a blur, but a good one. Like when you got on a merry-go-round at the park and your buddy spun you too fast.

It hadn't been hard to clear out of his apartment and his parents had enthusiastically bought his bus ticket, thrilled the farm was going to stay in the family instead of sold off to pay possible debts. William had spent the last week in a frenzy of work and exploration of the big plot of land. He'd been a kid when he and his dad visited, but after joining the army out of high school, he'd not been back in almost 10 years. Now, here he was, 28 and finally feeling like he was truly on his own.

This morning when he'd walked into the general store, Pierre mentioned that Gus was in dire need of some of the parsnips he'd just managed to coax out of the ground. Shrugging and figuring that it was always better to be friends with the closest source of intoxication, he'd washed up and changed into a clean shirt, figuring he'd try and trade veggies for liquid bread.

The Stardrop Saloon was quaint and homey, so different than the industrial holes he usually sharked for partners in. William skimmed the clientele when he'd stepped in, nodding at Robin, the carpenter who'd been part of Mayor Lewis's welcoming committee, then turned his attention to the bar.

Gus, a good and upstanding looking fellow grinned a toothy smile when he saw the dozen parsnips he presented.

"A present and a greeting, my good sir," William said, planting the box down between them on the bar.

Gus rubbed his hands together, "Well," he breathed, picking one and squeezing it gently. It wasn't huge, just about hand's length. "This is perfect, m'boy. Alright. Excellent. I'll buy the box."

William waved a hand. "Nah, just put it on a tab and let me drink off of it. We'll even up just fine that way."

Gus huffed with pleasure and nodded. "Emily, get my favorite farmer some of that pale ale I've got on the top shelf. Welcome to Pelican Town," he hesitated.

"William," he supplied.

"Too long. You go by Bill?"

William chuckled and accepted the drink, then turned his head around and began to look around. He frowned, a face skimming past his view. He rubbed his eyes, a bit confused. No way he'd just seen…but there he was, jaw open and eyes wide, sans eye-liner, Sebastian.

The last man he'd been with…who was still living and breathing in his nightly fantasies.

Self-consciously William glanced over at the mirror behind Gus. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.

The sides of his head were in need of a touch up shave. His shirt was long-sleeved and fresh, than Joba and had taken a shower to get most of his farm off of his body, but the errand to the pub had just been to get the lay of the land. Shit, he hadn't even put on cologne. Sloppy, he chided himself. He took another breath, controlling his pounding heart and glanced back towards where the man stood, eyes wide, before fumbling with his pool stick and spinning around, giving William his back.

William frowned, and used the mirror to get the lay of the land. Sebastian's weirdness had been noticed. Lewis, the mayor raised an eyebrow at him and Marnie, William's southern neighbor who'd dropped off a scraggly kitten the other day, was chuckling into her beer. Demetrius, nodded over at his wife towards the bar. Well. Wasn't this a small town. He took a long draw on his ale and tapped the bar.

"Another, Em? If you please, doll?"

She giggled, then poured him another, handing it over with a big smile before turning back to wash the empty. William tried to wait, figuring Sebastian would come over, but after more avoidance, he rolled his eyes. No time like the present to face a problem head on.

He stood up and took himself and his ale to the game room at the back of the pub where an ancient Arcade cabinet sat next to a couch covered in duct tape patches. There was only one pool table but was in good shape with minimum rubbing on the felt. The balls were in less pristine condition, looking like they'd been wacked around for decades. He nodded at the others there, a girl all in black and a blonde guy who were staring at him like he was an alien, then ignored them as he approached. Sebastian had his back to him, his body leaned against the pool table, eyes locked on the wall. William stepped in front of his eyes then casually leaned against the wall, crossing an ankle and sticking a hand in his pocket.

"Hey Sebastian," he said, using his beer to hide the expression on his face. Sebastian shut his eyes then slowly opened them, his shoulders hunched at his name.

He looked younger today that he had that last time he'd seen him. Less confident. His hair was limper, as if it hadn't been washed in a couple of days, falling heaver on the left side of his face. Sebastian swallowed then stuck one hand into his hoodie, the other still clinging to the pool stick.

"William. Didn't uh, didn't think I'd see you in a place like this."

William cocked his head at him. If body language were a neon sign, Sebastian's would be saying, "Dear Earth, Please Eat Me Right Now"

The silence between them stretched until Sebastian shot a pleading look at the man next to him. William frowned.

"Hey Man," the guy said, immediately offering a hand out. "I'm Sam. That's Abigail." He nodded back to a purple-haired girl wearing a choker and low cut black t-shirt. She was edgy for this small town, but didn't have tattoos or piercings. He held his hand out and nodded.

"Hey. I'm William."

He raised an eyebrow at Sebastian but the guy's face was tighter than a clam's ass at high tide. The hand holding the pool stick had white knuckles. He finally dropped his gaze to his ale.

So.

It was going to be like that.

He glanced curiously at the three of them.

"So Abigail," he said, testing the waters. "You and Sam….? Y'all dating?"

Sam barked out a laugh and Abigail's face turned red. That got an expression; a glare at him. Good. Anger was at least a shared feeling. William had spent too many months of stationary drills to let his own feeling show right now. Sebastian wanted them to be just ho-hum acquaintances? Sure. Because he came to the stars with all his acquaintances. He long swallow of beer- a particularly good microbrew that Gus had made last season. Better than the pisswater Julio served. Too bad the guys weren't what he'd thought they were.

"Naw man," Sam chuckled. "Just friends." William nodded, his tone light but his words were sharp.

"Ah. Sorry Sebastian, didn't mean to get your girlfriend mixed up."

Pay dirt.

Sebastian slammed his pool stick down on the table and started to speed walk towards the exit. Abigail and Sam's laughter died and they both looked at each other uncomfortably. They stared at William. He raised an eyebrow.

"Guess he was ready to go."

Sebastian was in the fucking closet. Welp. There went THAT particular hope that he had no right to nurture. Goodbye little dream. Enjoy your bullet.

"Right," Abigail said after another moment of awkward and painful silence. "Well, Um. Sam. Wanna go to your place?"

"Yeah," Sam said, skirting around William like he was a bomb. William leaned against the pool table as they left then turned back towards the bar. He put down his empty and crooked a finger at Emily.

"Em. Shot of whisky please. Neat."

Sebastian sped walked towards the mountain road that was going to take him home, knowing he looked freaked out. Everyone had seen. Everyone had been staring and had Seen William talking to him. And William, just as gorgeous and powerful as he'd remembered, had Looked at him, looked at him with absolute recall. And for a moment, just a second he remembered too. Could feel himself getting fucking hard with the memory while standing next to Sam of all the people. His look…his eyes, pinning him in place, as if drawing out everything they'd done together. The walls had started to close in and then…instead of that perfect gentleman who had punched out a creep for him…William had begun to make fucking girlfriend jokes with Abigail.

As if he hadn't had to avoid those sorts of rumors for the last six years. As if his Mom wasn't always asking why he didn't just Ask Abby Out Already.

He reached up and scrubbed his hand through his hair, his feet taking him home. The road was so familiar here, he barely needed to look where he was going.

"Yo! Seb!" He closed his eyes tightly.

Fuck. FUCK.

Sam and Abigail caught up to him, both running as fast as they could.

Before he could think- all logic centers scrambled at control panel Sebastian- he snapped, "Did he tell you?"

Silence.

What did that mean?

He whipped around eyes wide and looked at them both.

"Did he TELL you?"

Abigail took a step back, her face hard to read in the dark of the woods.

"Seb, jeez, tell us what?"

He pulled on his hair.

Sam stepped up, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Dude, haven't ever seen you this upset. Jeez, calm down."

Calming down seemed like an excellent fucking idea. Sebastian pulled his pack of smokes out of his pocket and within a few seconds had one lit and took a long drag. They both fell into step beside him as he turned to keep walking towards home. Abigail threw her hands up.

"You're acting weird Seb! Wanna clue us in why Sasquatch made you run off?"

Sam was watching him and suddenly got it, sucking in a breath. "Oh Shit."

Abigail groaned, throwing her head back. "Well fuck, now Sam has figured it out and I haven't. Um, guys?"

Sam waved a hand at her. "Shut up Abby, just shut up. Seb, it wasn't him was it?"

He felt like he'd been gut punched. He took another drag of his cigarette.

"The while fucking town knows now, don't they."

"Know what!"

Sebastian whipped around and yelled, 'That I'm GAY Abigail, fuck!"

She stopped, his announcement freezing her in place.

"Dude, relax. Hey, Seb!" Sam snagged his shoulder and squeezed. Sebastian wanted to hyperventilate. He was gay and his big, hairy, gay lover was wandering town and introducing himself to every single person who'd known him since he was in diapers. His mom and step-dad had been in there. His mom's customers. Every single person would know by tomorrow morning what had happened.

"Sebastian," Abigail said softly, coming over on his other side. "Seb, really, it's okay. It doesn't matter."

Sebastian shut his eyes and tapped the ash off his cigarette, exhaling.

"No one knows you're gay dude," Sam said softly, rubbing his back. "No one knows anything, okay. They just think that William guy is a dick, okay?"

Sebastian latched onto the words like a lifeline.

"Why would people think you're gay because William spoke to you?" Abigail said, confused. "I mean. He doesn't really exude 'Fagness' you know."

"Fuck off Abby," Sam snapped. "And don't say that, rudeass."

She rolled her eyes and Sebastian felt like he was finally getting air to come into his lungs.

"When I was in Zuzu City," Sebastian mostly whispered, "I hooked up with someone. That someone was…William."

Sam clicked his teeth, his hand still steady on Sebastian's shoulder.

Abigail coughed and then in a low tone said, "Wait. Are you telling me…that the one guy in all of that big ass city that you decide to sleep with…is the same one who moves here….to a town that hasn't had a new person since Shane and Jas rolled into town three years ago?"

The summary made him decide that yes, it was an excellent idea to have a second cigarette.

As he lit that one she shook her head.

"Well shit."

"That about sums it up," Sam said. He slowed as they got to the lake. Turning up the hill ahead would put them in sight of Sebastian's house. As if mutually agreed they all stayed near the wooden bridge at the lake.

"No one knows you think?" Sebastian asked, burying his free hand into the hoodie.

"Nope. Like, jeez Seb, it's not like he came up and hugged you or something. Or tried to kiss you." She giggled. "I can't believe you'd want to kiss that big ugly beard."

Irritation flickered through him. He put out the butt of his cigarette against his shoe and put the butt in his pocket. He pulled up the hood of his jacket.

"It's not ugly." He turned away from them and headed towards his house. "Thanks guys. See you tomorrow."

Abigail and Sam stared at his back as he disappeared into the dark, neither of them quite sure what to say.

The walk home from the Pub was quiet. The city itself was quaint. Everything was so closely placed that he could walk all the way from his new property to the town center.

It had been a week of body-breaking hard work. He hadn't been this sore since Boot Camp. Still, it was so much better than the last two years of slaving away at Joja. His first day in and he'd walked into a rocky and wood-covered stretch of land. His grandpa's house had a sagging porch and he'd had to patch a hole in the roof first thing his second day after waking up to a bed full of rain.

Still, he could relax.

Back in Zuzu, he never walked home relaxed. He was always keeping an eye out on the people. Wondering, who would come at him with a smile and a gun. Who was going to jump him. Here, in the deep dark of the wilderness night he didn't fear. Because this darkness was honest. It was real and present and other people felt it too. It wasn't like feeling strangled. Out here in the country, on his own land that had his name on it, the air was sweet and clean.

There wasn't the noise of cars and construction equipment. He didn't hear sirens every night. Instead he had loud cicadas and owls hooting their joy at the darkness.

He looked up and could see the moon and so many beautiful stars.

He was alone because there was no one else here. Not alone in a sea of strangers who wouldn't notice if he never showed up again.

He got to his porch, kicked the dirt off his boots and stepped inside.

Pop's old tools were stacked in a box he'd drug out of a broken shed on the corner of the property. He'd meant to find Clint, the blacksmith to see if he could trade them in for something better but seeing Sebastian had scrambled his brains right the hell up.

He pulled his shirt out of his jeans and unbuttoned it. It was one of Pop's old ones that he'd pulled out of mothball storage. Probably old fashioned with buttons on the pockets and a collar, but he'd needed something. The spring mornings were too chilly for t-shirts and besides, it was all that had been clean. He uncuffed the long sleeves and pulled it off, tossing it with the other clothes he had to figure out how to wash.

There had been one more advantage to wearing the long sleeved relic. He'd been keeping his track marks covered.

William looked at the old scars as he grabbed his razor and hesitated. Then grabbed the razor strop and pulled it back and forth, the movement soothing; the sound rhythmic. He remembered when he'd been a boy and Grandpa had stropped an almost identical straight razor, his dad giving him dramatic eyebrows. Dad had always been clean, but he liked a beard. Liked the way it hid the burn marks from when his unit had nearly been blown up by a Gotoro ambush.

William was really good at hiding scars. He was a fucking expert.

And that snub by Sebastian had, somehow, left a mark.

Fuck Sebastian.

William glared at the strop and then finished, putting it to the side as he began to mix the lather in a bowl.

Asshole.

It was stupid to care of course. He'd had dozens of nights like that one. Nights where he'd been looking for someone easy. Nights where he'd been out trawling the club waters and come up with a hot boy. If Sebastian wanted to avoid it, that was his damage.

Dick weasel.

He began to lather up the sides of his head, focusing on the line he was making. He wanted to keep some hair long after all. Couldn't have a proper undercut if he shaved himself bald. And really, in the end, it didn't bother him.

He didn't care that Sebastian had pretended like that hadn't even known each other.

Chicken shit.

He turned his head left and right then put the blade against his skin, cleaning up the shag and fuzz that had started to grow on his head.

He wasn't ashamed of who HE was. William was gay. He liked men and he didn't have a problem with it. And if anyone in this pissant town had a kink of their ass about it, they could come deal with him face to face.

Eyeliner streaks down his cheeks

He tossed the hair coated shaving cream on the sink and glared back at his reflection, then turn the started on the other size of his head.

He was over that noise. He had too damn much work to do on the farm anyway to play fuck-fuck games with a scared little queer in the closet. If he wanted to make himself white-faced and pale just because he'd run into a past mistake, that was his business. William had plenty of things to clean up on his own land and wasn't concerned with whatever Sebastian's deal was. It was all water under the leaky bridge.

William finished the shave and dropped the razor in the sink before turning and punching the wall. It hurt his fist. It hurt good. He jerked the towel down and rinsed his head.

He didn't care at all.